Island Redemption

by Suzanne Cass

  Noting her complete lack of coherence, he prompted gently, ‘Will you let me come aboard?’

  His mouth turned up in one of his stunning smiles. Oh God, she’d missed that smile. For a split second she allowed her gaze to roam over his familiar face, the aquiline nose, sumptuous lips, dark hair – longer these days but still curling temptingly on top, those honey-coloured eyes which remained fixed on her. He looked so good, exactly as she’d remembered him. Exactly as he’d appeared in her dreams. Dreams, which had been haunting her these past few months. Which hadn’t subsided over time as she hoped, but had instead intensified to the point where she almost dreaded going to sleep.

  Why was he here? She’d been so sure it was the last time she’d ever see him, that day back at the Sea-Quest finale. His presence here threatened to undo all the hard slog she’d endured trying to rid her body of the effect he had on her. And now she knew why it’d been so hard to banish him from her mind. All it took was one smile and her heart soared. Goddamn the man to hell!

  ‘Doug told me I might find you here,’ he added, pointing towards the MiamiZ Boat Charter office. ‘He said Monday was your day off, but if you weren’t at work then the only other place to find you was tinkering on your damn yacht. I think he might’ve also mentioned that you love this boat more than any human being, as far as he could tell.’

  ‘Now that’s not strictly true,’ she replied, finding her voice at last. It wouldn’t do to show how much he rattled her. She could do this. She could act normal around him.

  ‘I can see why you love her though, she truly is as beautiful as you described.’ Tam gave the ketch an appreciative once over.

  ‘Why don’t you come aboard and have a closer look then.’ The cost of those words was almost too much, the thought of Tam on her boat something she’d fantasised about, but never, ever, thought would truly happen. Keeping her face blank, she indicated he pass her his bag, watching as he climbed on board. He did an admirable job for a city slicker. His height helped, making it easier to lift those long, jean-clad legs over the safety line in one fluid movement. Holding onto the rigging he stood on the foredeck, a pleased grin lighting up his face.

  ‘I’ve often wondered what it’d be like to be standing on this deck. When you were telling us about your boat back on the island, I promised myself I’d come and see her one day. And here I am.’

  ‘Yes, here you are,’ she replied, impressed by the fact he’d actually taken the time to wonder about her boat. Then she caught his gaze travelling down the length of her body and she was suddenly aware of her very short cut-offs and the button up shirt she’d tied in a knot, revealing way too much midriff. He was also standing much too close for comfort. Needing to put some space between them she made her way, barefoot, down the narrow strip of deck, towards the cockpit.

  ‘I was just about to have some breakfast, before I went out for a sail. Would you like some? It’s only toast and Vegemite.’

  ‘Yes please. I’ve come straight from the airport. I haven’t had anything to eat yet.’ Tam made his way forward, a little slower than her, holding on to any piece of available rigging as he came.

  ‘What’s Vegemite?’

  ‘It’s an Australian thing. It’s kind of an acquired taste. It’s very salty and very black, but I love it.’ Most Americans hated it at first sight, but she’d learned, if spread thinly, with lots of butter, it was delicious on toast.

  ‘Sounds disgusting, but I’ll try it.’

  Ducking down the companionway she indicated he take a seat in the cockpit.

  ‘Stay up here, I’ll be back with the toast in a jiffy.’ She didn’t want him following her down into the close quarters of the cabin. It’d be too much for her heart to take, at least until the shock of seeing him had worn off a little.

  She had to rest her palm against the galley bench-top just to light the little gas stove, her hand was trembling so much. Tam’s presence here had completely thrown her, it was just so unexpected. She took a deep breath, and then another, before gingerly placing the toasting implement over the naked flame and then popping in a piece of bread. By the time she bent down to grab the butter and Vegemite out of the small refrigerator the shakes had subsided to mere tremors. But keeping her hands busy didn’t stop her mind buzzing with a million questions. What could he possibly want?

  Sliding her bare feet back and forth over the polished wooden floorboards, she let the familiar feel of the cabin sooth her. She’d re-done the whole inside of the ketch when she’d first bought it. Painstakingly sanding back all the old, misused cedar, slowly bringing it back to life, making it gleam and shine once more. It smelled like home to Cilla, much more than the little villa she and her grandmother shared ever would. Musky and salty with the spicy scent of varnished wood.

  At last the toast was cooked and she dropped it onto a waiting plate sitting on the compact wooden dining table that doubled as a map desk as well as a workbench. With butter knife in hand she went to spread it, but the butter never reached the toast. Her hand stayed poised in mid-air as her whirling mind finally took over and she was lost in a fantasy of memories. Tam and her in the surf at midnight. Making love in the ocean. The image came so fast and clear Cilla gasped. His wet hands sliding over her body, the feel of his muscled chest beneath her breasts.

  ‘Wow, it’s just as gorgeous down here as it is upstairs.’ She hadn’t even heard him come down the companionway, and now he was standing directly behind her, mere inches away. Her body reacted immediately, the lingering images of Tam in the surf only helping to accentuate her response.

  Not daring to turn around, knowing if she did she’d want to touch him, to take him in her arms, she asked the question that’d been begging to be asked the second she saw him standing on the jetty, ‘Why are you here, Tam?’

  ‘To see you. I couldn’t leave things the way they were between us.’ His voice was husky, running like smooth treacle down her back.

  ‘Why not? We said goodbye, didn’t we? Surely that’s the end of it. I know it was for me.’

  Actually, it was nowhere near the end for her. She’d spent the past month unable to pull herself out of a deep funk. Even Doug commented on how desultory she’d become and told her to pull herself together for the sake of her job. She’d put on a brave face at work, but she still lay awake most nights, the huge hole in her chest making sleep impossible. And when sleep did finally come her dreams were full of him. The way drops of seawater had sparkled, like flashes of starlight in his dark hair after he emerged from the ocean. Or the straight line of his jaw as she’d studied him, face in profile while he listened to something JJ was saying.

  ‘Perhaps it’s over for you, Cilla, but I need more. I need to know, once and for all.’ His hands landed on her shoulders, compelling her to turn around to meet his gaze.

  ‘Know what?’ Her voice was suddenly as husky as his.

  ‘How you really feel about me.’ His face remained impassive, the only giveaway a twitch at the corner of his mouth. ‘Do you truly hate me?’

  ‘Hate you? Why would you … God no, I don’t hate you!’

  ‘You certainly seemed to when you voted me off the island.’ She squirmed, wanting to turn away, to avoid that piercing gaze. His firm hands denied her, keeping her eyes centred straight on him.

  ‘Did I?’ She tried to think back to that time, over three months ago, but any feelings of animosity had faded. Maybe she had hated him for a fleeting second, but not anymore. They were such strong emotions, hate and love. Perhaps she’d been using hate to conceal her true feelings.

  ‘I responded very badly to your anger, and I guess a part of me knew you’d every right to act the way you did. You felt betrayed, and I didn’t want to see that at first. I should’ve known better. It’s part of my job, after all, to help people understand what they’re feeling. But I was too close to the whole thing. I do want you to know how sorry I am. Things should’ve been so different between us.’

  ‘Different how?’ If only
things could’ve ended differently. But they didn’t and she couldn’t see how any of this was going to help. Her gaze flittered around the cabin, looking for a way out, answers to an unsolvable question.

  ‘Cilla.’ His finger caressed beneath her chin and then with a firm yet gentle touch he forced her to look back at him. ‘Put your hand on my heart.’ Taking his finger from under her chin he guided her hand, pushing it hard onto his chest, their eyes never breaking contact. The beat was strong and true and solid beneath her fingertips. A tiny spark of hope flared within her. The honey in Tam’s eyes darkened to molasses, his gaze becoming hungry, a wicked grin suffusing his face.

  ‘You feel it too, don’t you? Hearts don’t lie.’

  His mouth collided with hers, fiery and indulgent. She should’ve stopped him. But the low groan he made when her tongue darted out to taste his drove her on. The desire, which had flared the second he’d stepped onto the boat next to her, was now burning so hot she could no longer think straight. She wanted him. So badly.

  Tam had come because he wanted closure. There was no future for them. He lived on the other side of the country and she couldn’t leave her grandmother. But maybe she could give him a fitting farewell before they said their final goodbye. For good this time. If they were going to do this, then it had to be different to that wild, hasty sex they’d had back in the ocean, rutting as if they’d been dogs on heat. If she was going to let herself give in one last time before Tam left her life forever, then she was going to make the most of it. Slow and sensuous, she was going to enjoy every second of this.

  Yes. She’d take this one last thing from Tam and savour it for the rest of her life.

  Taking him by the hand she led him forward to the main double bunk crammed into the V-shape at the bow of the boat. She pushed him down onto the bed and then climbed on top, straddling him. Dipping her head she brushed her lips against his neck, tasting the slightly salty hint, inhaling his masculine scent. Using the sharp edges of her teeth she nipped at the curve of his collarbone, enjoying the rush of craving when his pulse became erratic beneath her mouth.

  ‘Bloody hell, Cilla,’ he moaned. ‘Wait, I need to see more of you. All of you.’

  Sitting up, his deft fingers attacked the buttons on her shirt and she soon found it discarded onto the floor. His hand worked its way around her back and unfastened the bra strap. Impatient now, she helped him by slipping each strap off her shoulders.

  ‘You’re just as beautiful as I remember,’ he said, eyes roving over her breasts and down her abdomen. Lifting a lock of auburn hair he inhaled through the silken tresses as he threaded them through his hand. ‘At least this has healed now,’ he said, touching the scar on her forehead lightly. A slight frown crossed his brow, as if he might suddenly be having second thoughts.

  Standing up, she stripped off her shorts and panties. Tam got the hint, unbuckling his blue jeans and kicking them from his legs while she pulled the white t-shirt over his head in one quick manoeuvre. Laying there completely naked in front of her, she revelled in his perfect physique. Lean but still strong and well-muscled. Resting her whole length down next to him she gloried in the feel of their legs entwining together, skin on skin. She shivered. For the past few months she’d dreamed of this and nothing else, but the reality of it was bittersweet. Tears filled her eyes and she closed them as he skimmed his tongue over her lips. She couldn’t let him see how much this moment meant to her. If she couldn’t have him in her life, then at least she’d be able to hold this one last instant in her heart forever.

  ‘I’ve thought about doing this ever since we left the island.’

  She stilled beneath him. Was he reading her mind?

  ‘I’m all yours, Cilla.’ Tam’s voice was so low and throaty it was like a carnal stroke to her body.

  With a quick flick, Tam had her lying beneath him, the unexpected dominance electrifying, the delicious weight of him lying on top of her sending a sizzling curl of heat through her abdomen. Drawing in a gasping breath, she was again taken by surprise when his lips descended over her nipple. He sucked, taking it deeper into his mouth, neither overly gentle nor too rough, but completely demanding. She knew her fingernails were leaving score marks in his back, but she no longer cared.

  ‘Do you still have the implant?’ he asked, pupils dilated and eyes dark.

  She nodded in reply. It was all she was capable of.

  Taking the weight of his body on his hands, Tam slowly lowered himself over her. She felt his erection rubbing against her inner thighs. Capturing her mouth, he tasted her with his tongue. Then his lips left hers and he trailed kisses down her neck, her collarbone and over her shoulder, his mouth feather light.

  The look in his eyes hid nothing, his kisses so tender she knew he wanted her. With a passion that was deep and fierce. The feeling was mutual. Tam groaned a primitive, deep sound from within his chest. She melted inside.

  ‘You take my breath away, Cilla.’

  With that he nudged her legs apart and slid inside her. Her body responded to the intimate contact with a rush of red-hot desire.

  The spectacle of Tam’s defined muscles strained tight as he held himself back, the heat in his eyes burning bright, the feel of him hard inside her proved to be Cilla’s undoing. She swallowed hard. It was no good, slow and sensuous be damned, she was going to explode any second now. Her muscles contracted around him and she felt him jerk irresistibly. She let herself go, rocking her hips to and fro. Tam joined the rhythm, driving harder and harder into her, sensing exactly what she needed. His incredible perception of what she desired affected her soul and the rapid thumping of her heart – matching the pounding of his heart – lifted the flames of desire to unfathomed heights. She was so close to release.

  ‘I love you, Cilla.’

  What?

  Words she’d never thought to hear.

  Then she heard him give a guttural cry and it sent her over the edge, the white-hot pleasure tearing her into tiny pieces as wave after wave washed over her, and she cried out with him. He shuddered, overpowered, then collapsed on top of her.

  The only sound inside the boat’s cabin was that of their rough panting.

  This time had been just as quick and hot as the time in the surf. But something fundamental had changed between them, a connection that hadn’t been there before. Tam had said those words. She knew he was indeed in love with her. Cilla was filled with the sense of Tam, touching her skin; heart and her soul. It felt so right. She was surrounded by an incredible sense of completion and peace as she lay here with him.

  ‘I love you too, Tam,’ she whispered into the silent morning. Her announcement shocked her for a second. Had she actually said that aloud? But the relief she felt in saying those words was worth the effort they took. So was the look in Tam’s eyes as he stared down at her. He caressed the side of her cheek.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ She pulled him down onto the bed next to her, where they lay in each other’s arms, legs tangled together on the now dishevelled bed.

  ‘Well, I guessed anyway. It was pretty obvious. Why else would you have given me the talisman?’

  ‘Because …’ She halted while she tried to find the right answer. It’d been plain as day at the time, why she’d given up the talisman, but how did she explain it. ‘If I couldn’t win then I wanted you to.’

  ‘But you could’ve won, if you’d only stayed in the game.’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘That would’ve meant I had to give in to my greed, to trample on those I cared about to get the money.’ A frown hovered on her brow and she pursed her lips as she thought about her next words. ‘That’d be too much like my father.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ His reply was quiet, but filled with the weight of understanding. One hand stroked her bare shoulder absentmindedly. The gesture sent shivers racking through her body. It was so casual, yet so intimate at the same time.

  ‘Can I just say, you’re absolutely nothing like your fat
her.’ He continued to caress her bare skin, but the other arm gathered her in closer. ‘You’re a strong and capable woman, devoted and passionate. And that’s what I love about you.’ Silence fell between them as she digested his words, the only sound was of gently lapping wavelets against the outside of the hull. It was such a reassuring sound, Cilla began to relax, letting the lethargy of the afterglow engulf her.

  Tam wasn’t going to judge her for her actions. He’d seen her punch her father in the face, but there was no censor in his tone. It seemed he’d seen through her smokescreen of independence and indifference, put there by a fierce need to protect herself from what she perceived to be all men’s avarice. Now she knew not all men were the same. He appreciated why she’d acted the way she had. Maybe, as much as she still squirmed to think about it, it’d been a good thing Tam had been there that night. To see just how much her father’s self-indulgence and disregard for his family had shaped her life. It’d been so hard to admit to people how badly her father had let her down, but now she knew, if she was finally going to let others into her life, she’d need to stop worrying about how they might perceive her.

  Tam’s compassion had unchained her.

  ‘Cilla, I have something to tell you and I hope it doesn’t scare you.’ The stroking stopped and he got up on one elbow so he could stare down at her. The look on his face so earnest and sweet made her heart swell yet again.

  Running her fingers through the soft curling hair on his chest, she said, ‘Nothing you say will scare me, Tam. Go on, out with it.’

  ‘I’m moving to Orlando.’

  Her fingers stopped their investigation as she stared up at him.

  ‘I’ve taken a job at Disney World in Orlando.’ For the second time that day, hope flared in her heart. Could it be true? If it was, this might change everything. It meant he was an easy three-hour drive away. The fact she’d trusted him enough to divulge the fact she loved him took on a whole new meaning now. She might actually have to follow through on her avowal. And that thought didn’t scare her nearly as much as it once might’ve. In fact it made her feel as light as air. Deliriously happy, as if her heart might beat right out of her chest. Then it hit her. He’d known all along this encounter might not be their last. And he’d told her he loved her anyway.