Learning to Love

by Barbara Cartland

  The stars were bright overhead and there was a moon moving up in the sky and what she could see of the gardens though the scaffolding appeared silvery in the moonlight and hauntingly lovely.

  ‘I am sure that this one of the prettiest houses in the world,’ Kristina said to herself. ‘And how could anyone ask for more?’

  She undressed herself, having told Martha not to sit up for her as she had admitted to starting a cough earlier in the day.

  Kristina had told her to go to bed early and take something for it.

  “That’ll be honey, my Lady” Martha had said. “There’s nothing like honey for a sore throat, as my mother told me when I were just a child.”

  “My mother said the same,” Kristina replied. “You are not to worry, Martha. I can easily undo this gown, and I am sure tomorrow you will feel better.”

  “I hopes so, my Lady, and thank you for thinking of me.”

  Kristina hung up her dress in the wardrobe and took off her jewellery and laid it on the dressing–table. She thought she would put it back into its velvet boxes in the morning, although perhaps, as there were a number of workmen about, it would be wiser to keep it in a safe.

  She knew Michael kept one in his bedroom.

  ‘I could not bear to lose any of Mama’s fabulous jewels,’ Kristina told herself. ‘I felt that when I was wearing them, she was guiding me and telling me how I should conduct myself tonight.’

  The Earl was no longer angry with her as she had feared, but in fact, now that she thought about it, she had never known him so charming or so kind.

  ‘He is a wonderful man,’ she whispered as she looked in the mirror, ‘and I would like him to think I am wonderful too.’

  Then she remembered how cross he had been with her. She told herself that never, never again would she be so stupid or so foolish.

  ‘He is quite right,’ she murmured as she climbed into bed having said her prayers. ‘I must behave in the way that Mama would and I am sure she is helping me.’

  She blew out the candles by her bed having already extinguished those on her dressing-table.

  The room was not in total darkness as the moonlight was coming in though the open window, casting a silver glow onto the carpet.

  Kristina wondered if the Earl was watching the stars from his bedroom, before telling herself he would undoubtedly think it would sentimental to do so.

  He was either going to sleep or reading a book.

  ‘I must go to sleep,’ she told herself, ‘because there is so much to do tomorrow.’

  She closed her eyes.

  Then she heard a strange sound.

  It was a creak, followed by a bang as if something fell hard had fallen to the ground.

  She sat up in bed.

  Then as the noise came again, she jumped up.

  She was almost sure of what was happening and thought she must warn the Earl. Without thinking, she ran across the room just as she was in her nightgown.

  She pulled open the communicating-door.

  There was a boudoir between her room and the Earl’s. It was more of an alcove and very intimate and was where his mother had written her letters and kept her most prized and cherished possessions.

  Like the presents her husband and son had given her on her birthdays and at Christmas. There was a collection of Dresden china angels she had accumulated over the years.

  Kristina crossed the boudoir and pulled open the door on the other side which led into the Earl’s bedroom.

  She saw that he was in bed with the small lamp beside him reading a book.

  He looked up and exclaimed in astonishment,

  “Kristina! What is it?”

  “I think the wind is – knocking down the scaffolding,” she told him breathlessly. “It is making strange noises – and if it collapses it could do a great deal of damage to the windows below.”

  The Earl closed his book.

  “I will come and see to it,” he said firmly.

  Then he hesitated before he added.

  “To save your blushes, I suggest you look the other way while I get out of bed.”

  Kristina did blush as she turned round to stand in the doorway of the boudoir with her back towards the Earl.

  Because it had been so warm he was naked to the waist.

  When he climbed out of bed he pulled on a silk robe which Brook had left on a chair and picked up the lamp.

  “Now I am ready, so let us look at the damage. I shall be extremely annoyed if they have erected the scaffold so carelessly that it can be blown about by the slightest wind.”

  He moved towards Kristina as he spoke and she walked into the boudoir and as he joined her she let him go first because he was carrying the lamp.

  He crossed the room and pulled open the communicating-door into her bedroom which she had left ajar and entered the room with Kristina close behind him.

  They both came to a standstill.

  Standing in the bedroom by the open window through which he had obviously just entered was a man.

  He was dressed in black and to Kristina’s horror he wore a black mask over his eyes. On his head was a cap pulled so low that it was impossible to see his features.

  “What are you doing here?” the Earl demanded sharply, holding up the lamp.

  As he spoke the intruder took a revolver from his pocket and pointed it at him.

  “I wants all the money you ’ave.”

  He spoke with a strong accent which the Earl thought was Cockney.

  “I don’t have any money with me.”

  “Then you’d better git it,” the man said, “an’ if you don’t you’ll find it very uncomfortable to ’ave a piece of lead through your ’eart.”

  He was still pointing the revolver at the Earl’s chest as he spoke.

  Kristina gave a cry of horror.

  The intruder turned his attention to her.

  “As for your pretty lady,” he snarled, “you can give I that jewellery you ’ave on your dressing-table.”

  Kristina looked at the Earl.

  To reach the dressing-table she had to pass him and the burglar and for the first time she realised she was wearing only her nightgown.

  The Earl was wondering desperately what he could do.

  He was holding the lamp in his left hand and although his right was free, he was some distance, perhaps eight feet, from the man pointing the gun at him.

  If he made a hasty movement he could be shot long before he reached him and then it would be impossible for him to protect Kristina.

  Almost as if the burglar knew what he was thinking, he growled to Kristina,

  “Do as I tells you or I’ll finish orf ’is Lordship afore I makes you give I what I wants.”

  “How – can you be – so wicked?” Kristina asked.

  The burglar laughed and it was an unpleasant sound.

  “The answer to that be quite simple, I be poor an’ you be rich an’ I wants a bit of comfort in me old age!”

  ”Suppose I give you some money,” the Earl suggested coolly, “and you leave my wife’s jewellery where it is. It belonged to her mother and she has no wish to part with it.”

  “Well my mother left I nothin’. So I’ll ’ave the jewels as well as your money, which I knows be in your bedroom in a safe, so you can’t deceive I.”

  As he realised that the Earl and Kristina were just staring at him he said,

  “Come on, I ain’t goin’ to wait all night. Give I the jewellery or I’ll ’elp meself to it and anythin’ else I wants. A dead man won’t be able to stop me!”

  He waved his revolver even more menacingly at the Earl.

  Kristina again gave an anguished cry of horror.

  She ran behind the Earl to her dressing-table, so as not to be near the burglar.

  She picked up her mother’s jewellery – the necklace, the bracelets and the earrings. They glittered in the light from the lamp as she turned back towards the burglar.

  “That be more like it,” he said a
s she approached him.

  He held out his left hand.

  As he did so Kristina raised her leg.

  Quite suddenly without any warning, the burglar fell backwards on to the floor with a crash.

  His arms were stretched out and the revolver dropped from his hand and fell a foot or so away from him under a chair.

  With the swiftness of a man who had often been in danger, the Earl dashed forwards to pick up the revolver. At the same time he put the lamp which was encumbering him down on the nearest table.

  Even as he did so the burglar scrambled to his feet and like a frightened animal he just seemed to dive through the window.

  He must have fallen onto the scaffolding and the Earl could hear his footsteps running on the boards.

  He was about to run to the window when Kristina moved.

  She dropped the jewellery on the floor and flung herself against him.

  “He might have – killed you,” she cried incoherently.

  Her arms encircled his neck and she kissed his cheek.

  Then her lips touched his.

  The Earl put his arms round her pulling her close against him.

  He kissed her fiercely, possessively and passionately.

  He kissed her until she felt as if she melted into him and they were no longer two people but one.

  The terror she had felt at thinking he might be killed had vanished into a wild uncontrollable excitement.

  It was a rapture she had never known or imagined possible.

  The moonlight was seeping through her body and the stars were twinkling in her breast.

  Her arms round the Earl’s neck tightened and she moved even closer to him.

  His robe had fallen open and he could feel her heart beating against his naked chest. He thought it was the most wonderful feeling of his entire life.

  He had kissed many women but he had never known a kiss that was so utterly perfect, so completely ecstatic.

  It made him feel as if he was carrying Kristina into the sky and they were no longer human.

  Only when they were both breathless did he raise his head and look down at her.

  Her golden hair was falling over her bare shoulders.

  The light from the lamp showed him that love had transformed her and she was lovelier and more beautiful than any woman he had ever dreamed about.

  “I love you,” he said and his voice was very deep.

  “I love you – I love you,” Kristina whispered, “and I thought he was going – to kill you, but he has gone away.”

  “Let him go,” the Earl said. “I have found you and that is all that matters.”

  He kissed her again.

  It was impossible for him to put his feelings and emotions into words. The miracle had happened and she actually loved him.

  Although her lips were soft, sweet and innocent, he sensed that there was a rapture behind them.

  It could come only from a love which echoed his own.

  When he raised his head again he asked her,

  “How could you have been so brilliant as to know about jujitsu when there was nothing I could do?”

  Kristina laughed,

  “There was a Japanese girl at the Convent in Florence – and she showed us how to defend ourselves.”

  “So you saved both of us.”

  “I was so very frightened – that he might shoot you,” Kristina sighed.

  “Why?” the Earl asked as he wanted to hear her answer.

  “Because I love you,” Kristina whispered. “I love you with all my heart – and with all my soul as the nuns said I should do when I find – the love of my life.”

  “Are you quite sure?” the Earl asked.

  Kristina moved a little closer to him.

  “Quite, quite sure,” she murmured.

  “In which case,” he replied, “it is unnecessary for us to stand here.”

  He lifted her into his arms and carried her across the room.

  He laid her down on the bed with her head on the pillows.

  “I do not want you – to leave me.”

  The Earl smiled.

  “I have no intention of leaving you.”

  He sat down on the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms.

  “If only you knew,” he said, “how much I have longed for you to tell me that you love me. It has been an agony I hope never to experience again. To know you were only a room away from me and I dare not come near you.”

  Kristina pressed her lips against his cheek.

  “How could I have been so foolish,” she asked, “as to not to allow you – to touch me as you wanted to?”

  “Of course I wanted to,” the Earl replied. “I wanted to kiss you and to make you mine.”

  He realised what he had said.

  In a different tone he continued very quietly,

  “I do not want to frighten you, my darling.”

  “I will never be frightened of you again. I was so afraid – when you were angry with me that you would want – to leave me.”

  “I will never leave you and I will never allow you to leave me. I love you, my precious little wife, the same way as you love me, with all my heart and all my soul.”

  He kissed her gently before he added,

  “I think now we can really start our marriage and be very, very happy.”

  “I love you so so very much,” Kristina murmured.

  The Earl kissed her and she thought nothing could be more wonderful than the touch of his lips.

  His arms were now entwined around her and she realised, although she did not really understand, that he wanted more.

  “I am yours completely and absolutely yours,” she whispered, “but I know that I am very ignorant.”

  The Earl did not speak and she continued,

  “Please teach me – about love. Teach me to do – what you wish me to do, because I am – so frightened of disappointing you.”

  Kristina drew in her breath.

  “If you had the chance to start all over again – and not have to worry about money,” she asked, “would you still want – to marry me?”

  “I would want to marry you if you were rich, poor or even destitute,” the Earl answered. “You are mine, because you are perfect, and because you are the woman I always felt was waiting for me somewhere if I could only find her.”

  “Papa was always clever, so very clever and he knew what was best for both of us.”

  “I only hope he realises how happy we are,” the Earl breathed. “I love you, my darling and now I am going to show you how much.”

  He kissed her passionately as he spoke and there was no further need for words.

  As he kissed her and did not stop kissing her, she felt he was carrying her up into the sky.

  The room enveloped them and the stars were on their lips and in their hearts.

  Kristina felt as if the Heavens had opened and the angels were singing.

  This was love.

  A love which comes from God and which all mankind seek but only a few are lucky enough to find.

  It is the love of the heart and the soul and is in itself perfect.

  The love which never dies, but carries on into eternity.