Lethal Cruise: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 9)

by A. R. Winters

“Ooh.” Greg rubbed his hands together and immediately started nodding as the ideas began to flow. “I like where this is going. Tell me more!”

  “You find everything to do with food interesting,” Keith said, clearly amused.

  “And so should you! It’s your job!”

  “Yeah, yeah. I do, I do.” Keith raised his hands defensively to calm Greg.

  “Here’s the pitch: the best foods for midnight snacks. And I can do it so the piece is presented by you. I figure there’ll be one big blog post or article type thing, but we can also send out and share photos of all the dishes and snacks we think of, all linking back to the article. Hopefully some of the pictures will go viral. That’ll draw attention back to the main piece. What do you think?”

  “Fabulous!” Greg said with another delighted clap of his hands. “What do you think, Keith? Could we get one of the restaurants to start offering midnight feasts of deliciously sinful snacks for late-night lovers?”

  “Err, maybe? That’ll depend on staffing issues. And what the chefs say. We’ll definitely put it in the ideas bucket though, aye?”

  “Oh, and I’ve got another good idea! Do you think we could come up with some regional ones? Like, maybe the perfect midnight snack from Chicago is different than the one from, I don’t know, Des Moines, Iowa?”

  “Ooh, yes. Regional trends are very in.”

  “What about something from Arizona? What do you think they’d have down there?”

  I looked back and forth between Greg and Keith, on the off-chance that he would reveal something.

  “Maybe something with chocolate and chili,” Greg said thoughtfully.

  “What do you think Keith? About Arizona food?”

  He squinted at me. “Arizona… I’ve heard of it… is that in the Southwest or Northwest?”

  “Southwest. Have you never been there?”

  Keith slowly shook his head.

  “Nope. Don’t know anything about it.”

  While he could have been lying, his innocent expression told me he probably wasn’t. He seemed guileless and honest. I was thinking Ethan and I would probably have to revisit the other names on our list of potential suspects unless something changed.

  “I’m excited to see all the ideas you come up with. And we don’t need it all to be original, right? Like, a bowl of fries or something is a great midnight snack as it is.”

  Greg seemed lost in a world of his own, thinking about all the dishes he would whip up.

  Keith smacked Greg on the arm. “Wake up!”

  “I’m awake, I’m awake! Let me work on some prototypes and I’ll send you a message later, Addy.”

  “Thanks! That’ll be awesome.”

  “I’ve got a coupla ideas for you, too,” Keith said to Greg.

  The two of them began to confer, and I took that as my cue to leave.

  I had enough things of my own to do.

  What was next on my list?

  Oh yes, Brenda.

  It was time to find out just what kind of ‘ex-wife’ she had been to the departed Bruno.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ethan and I met Brenda at Hemingway’s bar. He’d pulled up her contact details and called her cell phone, and she had happily agreed to meet the ship’s First Officer. Cruise ship passengers were usually excited to be invited to spend time with any of the senior officers.

  When we got there, Brenda looked like she had just come from a swim. Her hair was wet, and she was wrapped in a fluffy white towel. On her bare right arm, I could see the dragon tattoo that snaked up from her elbow all the way up to her collarbone, where its roaring mouth finished.

  “Would you like a drink? On the house,” Ethan said when he greeted her.

  “I’ll take a mojito.” She paused, then frowned. “Wait, do they have fresh mint? Or do they use a mix? And what kind of sugar do they use?”

  Ethan looked at me. I shrugged back at him.

  “I’ll check.”

  Brenda tossed her head in a no.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just have a beer. A bottled one, not draft. Who knows when they cleaned the lines last?”

  “I’m sure they clean them every day,” I told her confidently. Swan was pretty strict about maintaining hygiene rules on the ship, though I didn’t really know anything about bartending.

  “Every day? Yeah, right. That would be crazy.”

  “Umm then, every cruise?” I suggested. I was way out of my depth here.

  “Let’s hope so. But I’ll just take a bottled beer anyway. A Mexican one, since I’m on vacation.”

  “Adrienne?”

  “A sparkling mineral water, please.” I remembered what Tessa had told me she ordered here.

  I took Brenda to one of the nearby bamboo tables and we sat down while Ethan went to get the drinks from the bar.

  “Are you enjoying your cruise?”

  Brenda pushed out her bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. It’s nice to get away from it all. Some pretty decent scenery around.” She motioned to the edge of the Lagoon Pool.

  I looked over and saw that the same fitness instructor was gearing up for another water aerobics class. He was currently performing some stretches before it began. As we watched, he stretched his bronzed arms up toward the sky, before bending over to lay his palms flat on the ground.

  “We’ve got models too,” I said with a grin. “Did you see them?”

  “Oh, yeah. I saw a couple of them getting manicures earlier. Pretty funny if you ask me.”

  I realized she must have been in the audience at the same time I was there earlier. Clearly I had been paying too much attention to Tuff and Canyon. The allure of the two male models had waned since our last conversation with them. They were dumber than the rocks that littered Canyon’s namesake. Pretty, though.

  “Here we go.” Ethan set down a bottle of beer in front of Brenda and ice-filled glasses and two bottles of fizzy water in front of his and my places. I was pleased to see there was a lime wedge in our glasses too for some flavor.

  “So what’s this about? I guess you’re not taking every guest out for free drinks.”

  “No, you’re one of the lucky few,” Ethan said with a chuckle. “Though you may not think you’re so lucky in a minute.”

  “That sounds ominous.” She took a sip of her beer and laughed. “Nothing too serious, I hope. I didn’t break some kind of rule, did I?”

  “Not that I’m aware of. We’re here to talk to you about another guest, actually. His name’s Bruno Jones.”

  She raised her eyebrows as soon as the name was mentioned, but she had the mouth of the beer bottle pressed between her lips for another sip so it was hard to read her expression.

  “Bruno, huh? What about him?”

  “I’m sad to say that Bruno was found deceased this morning.”

  Brenda sat forward and spat out her mouthful of beer, followed by a violent coughing fit.

  I began to smack her on the back as she leaned forward. “Are you okay? Are you all right, Brenda?”

  She coughed for nearly a minute before she sat back, her skin pale, still clearing her throat and wheezing.

  “Dead?”

  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m better. It’s the shock. It made my beer go down funny. I can’t believe it. You say he’s dead? Like, he killed himself?”

  “I’m afraid not,” said Ethan with a shake of his head. “We believe he was murdered.”

  “Murdered? By who?” Brenda looked around warily as if a nefarious looking figure clutching a knife might be sneaking around.

  “We don’t know, yet. But we’re working on it. I’m sorry we had to break this bad news to you, Brenda.” Ethan patted the top of one of her hands that was resting on the table. “How did you know him?”

  “Dead…” she shook her head to clear it. “How did I know Bruno?” A small smile appeared on her lips. “We used to work together.”

  “Was that in an office?”

&
nbsp; Brenda snorted. “An office? Bruno? No way. We were bartenders together. But that was a while back. It must be a year since I left that job. I was surprised to see him on the cruise though. Most bartenders don’t really have the money or the time to head off on a vacation like this.”

  “No, I don’t suppose they do.” Ethan and I looked at each other with guarded expressions. There was no need to reveal that Bruno had been a blackmailer yet.

  “I don’t suppose you were married to him, were you?”

  Brenda nearly choked again on her beer. She put it down on the table as if it might be dangerous. With her coughing and spluttering, I guess it was.

  “You’re going to drown me here!” she complained. “No, I was not married to Bruno. Why would you think that?”

  “Someone heard him calling you his ‘old wife.’ I guess it was some kind of in-joke between the two of you?”

  “Ahhh, right, got it.” Brenda took another sip of her beer—more carefully this time —before continuing. “Actually, we had a fling. Barely even a fling, in fact. It didn’t work out. We had a lot of fun working together, but we weren’t exactly compatible as a couple. After that, he used to joke around and call me his ‘old wife.’ It was just a thing we did.” Brenda looked up and sighed nostalgically, as if recalling happy times in the past. Happier than now, I wondered?

  “Sounds like you two were very close,” Ethan said sympathetically. “This must be an awful shock to you.”

  “Oh, it’s a shock all right. I’ll say. A shock and a half. But then again, seeing him here was a shock. It was part of my past life, the wild days of my youth.” She looked down and fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger. “It’s sad, but… it’s been a while since I saw him. And by the time I left that job, we weren’t really that close anymore. So I’m sad, but not like, heartbroken or anything, you know?”

  “Right. It looks like you’ve found yourself a better partner now,” I said, gently pointing toward her ring.

  She smiled. “Yeah, Darren’s great. He’s a real nice guy. You met him, didn’t you? When we were trying to check in?” She laughed at the memory. “The dummy had lost our check-in details”

  “Yep. You seem to have everything sorted out, though. You made it on board and you’re here.”

  “That’s right. We’re here.”

  She picked up her bottle and drained the rest of it.

  “Can I get a refill on this?”

  Ethan laughed and grabbed the empty bottle.

  “Yeah, I guess one more would be fine. It’s kind of you to give us your valuable time.” Ethan stood up and headed back to the bar.

  “My time’s not that valuable. I’m on vacation,” said Brenda, laughing.

  She seemed to have gotten over her sadness at Bruno’s death soon.

  “Do you know if he had any enemies aboard the ship?” I asked.

  Brenda crinkled her brow in thought. “Enemies? Bruno? He wasn’t really the sort to have enemies. Everyone liked him, pretty much. He was always good with customers. Plenty of our regulars in the bar were there just to see him—he was like a friend to many of them.”

  Ethan put a fresh bottle down in front of Brenda, who picked it up immediately.

  “Brenda was just saying how popular Bruno was, and how she couldn’t imagine him having any enemies.”

  “Oh, is that so? It makes his death even more mysterious then.” Ethan sat down again and put a befuddled expression on his face. “You can’t think of any reason people would dislike him.”

  Brenda furrowed up her brow again, the way people do when they’re pretending to think really hard.

  “Nope. Can’t think of anything. Unless…”

  Ethan and I leaned forward. “Unless?”

  “A lot of the ladies liked him. I mean, I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything beyond flirting, but maybe a jealous boyfriend or husband…?”

  She let the words hang in the air.

  “That’s something we’ll certainly have to look into then,” Ethan said in a serious tone.

  “Is Darren the jealous type?” I asked her innocently.

  “What? No, I didn’t mean Darren. Of course not. He’s not the jealous type at all, and he knew about my little thing with Bruno. Don’t even think about him. He didn’t see Bruno as any threat at all, not where I was concerned.”

  “That’s a relief to hear,” I said.

  Ethan nodded at me. “Very much so. Thank you for your time, Brenda. It’s been most enlightening.”

  Taking that as our cue to leave, I finished my glass of fizzy water and stood up.

  “Thanks, Brenda!”

  Once we were some distance away from her, we conferred.

  “She seems to think Bruno was a popular guy. That’s not what the other people I’ve spoken to said.”

  “And as far as I can tell she didn’t know about him being a blackmailer.”

  “Unless she deliberately left that part out. Maybe she didn’t want to speak ill of the dead.”

  “Maybe,” said Ethan so skeptically that he clearly didn’t believe there was any chance of that being the case.

  “I think she’s keeping something from us. Maybe her fling with him was more serious?”

  “Could be. And if so, that might make her fiancé more of a suspect.”

  We stood by a railing, looking out to sea while a few gulls flew overhead. Birds meant we were near land and would be making a stop at port soon.

  “Did you talk to Tessa? Get anything out of her?”

  “Oh, yes, I did. She’s very nice. But she did seem guarded about some things. I mean, we all have our secrets—”

  “You’ve got secrets?” Ethan asked.

  I laughed.

  “You know almost all my secrets now.”

  “Almost all?”

  “A woman’s got to have some mystery to her.” I rubbed a hand against his back and felt his muscles relax slightly.

  “As does a man,” Ethan said enigmatically.

  I checked his face to see if he was messing with me, but he seemed to be serious. Perhaps he was another mystery I’d need to solve—if I ever got to the bottom of the rest of the ones on my to-do list. It was going to end up like Kelly’s if I wasn’t careful.

  “Back to Tessa. She said that Bruno knew where she worked, and she found that very creepy.”

  “Hmm,” said Ethan.

  “Hmm?”

  “He’s a blackmailer, right?”

  “Yes…”

  “Simply knowing where someone works isn’t something you could blackmail someone with, is it?”

  I squeezed the rail in front of me, thinking.

  “That’s true. But it might just be that he was trying to hit on her in some slimy way. Maybe she wasn’t one of his blackmail targets.”

  “Perhaps,” said Ethan, clearly not convinced.

  “Okay, then,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll make sure she stays on my list.”

  “Good. Now I have to get going again. The captain wants me to do a navigational check with him in a minute, and then an update on our investigation, and then I have to send him off to dinner while I take over in the bridge.”

  “Sounds like he’s keeping you busy.”

  “Yes,” Ethan said, not sounding entirely pleased by it. “Still better than the last captain.”

  There were so many people milling around out on the decks that we parted with an awkward handshake. We both smiled at it though, and our fingers lingered together a little longer than normal for such a farewell.

  When he was gone, I realized I was exhausted. It’d be nice to just have a simple dinner, and a quiet evening to relax and think about everything.

  Then my phone buzzed.

  It was Cece.

  Girls’ night out! No excuses!

  And that’s how easily my plans can change.

  So much for a relaxing evening.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sam, Cece, and I met up at John Grillman’s, the ship’s steakhous
e. Cece had decided to add to the fun by inviting Kelly to join us as well. I just hoped I had the energy.

  “Tell her that her eyebrows look nice when you see her,” I told them. “She had them microbladed.”

  “Ooh, nice,” said Cece. “Check out my nails!”

  She held out her hands for us to inspect. They were now adorned with some long, pointy acrylic nails. They were bright pink, decorated with intricate, miniature silver paintings on each one.

  “Wow,” Sam said approvingly.

  “Won’t they get in the way?” I asked.

  “In the way of what?” Cece gave me a suspicious look.

  “You know. Work.”

  Cece crossed her arms and pouted.

  “Are you saying housekeepers shouldn’t look nice?”

  I rolled my eyes at her.

  “You know I’m not saying that. I was just curious if you’d be able to get your work done with them is all.”

  “Of course I can. You worry about your dead bodies and I’ll worry about my work.” She paused and frowned. “Not that I ever worry about it,” she finished brightly.

  Sam and I giggled.

  “Hi, guys!” said Kelly very loudly and very cheerfully when she arrived.

  “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed, sounding shocked.

  “You look fantastic!” Cece said.

  Kelly beamed at us and I felt a little intimidated. She was wearing a scarlet red dress, red bracelets and a necklace, and bright red heels—but that was all relatively standard attire for Kelly, who liked to wear bold colors.

  There were some differences today though. While normally her hair was a sheer black, today she had added some bright red streaks to it. And beyond that, her eyes had changed color. While usually they were a natural brown, they had somehow become a brilliant sky blue.

  “Your… eyes.”

  “I know!” Kelly pushed her face down and looked each of us intently in the eyes. Then she stood up again. “Colored contacts. Aren’t they the best? I wanted bright red ones to match my outfit, but they didn’t have any of those, unfortunately.”

  It didn’t seem unfortunate to me. Not at all.

  “Did you dye your hair too?” I asked. I was pretty sure we weren’t allowed to dye our hair, with the exception of ‘natural’ colors as the rulebook put it. Blonde streaks were okay. Bright red ones weren’t.