Super Con-Nerd

by Oliver Phommavanh

  Irene comes over to Vinh, holding out some sticky tape. ‘You can use this to straighten it out.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he says.

  I stare at the bent wing that Stephen wrecked. ‘Sorry about my friend . . .’

  Vinh looks a little bent too. ‘It’s only cardboard,’ he mutters.

  ‘No, it’s not. That’s a TIE fighter.’ I shake his shoulders. ‘You are a star pilot. A rebel fighter.’

  Vinh breathes my words in and he hold his chin up and puffs out his chest. ‘Don’t worry, I can still shoot.’ He gives me a thumbs up. ‘But I won’t be able to survive another attack.’

  I salute him. ‘Then you’ve got to make your shots count.’

  I head out and find a spare seat in the back row.

  The announcer, Angus Napier, goes on the main stage and announces the acts. Some of them are princesses; others are giant warlords with massive armour; then the Star Wars theme comes on and Vinh flies onto the stage.

  ‘I’m coming after you, scum!’ he roars, pretending to circle around an imperial fighter. It’s a pretty cool dogfight. I’ve never seen Vinh so animated.

  He finishes up and Angus comes back on.

  ‘So, Vinh Nguyen, how did you make your ship?’

  Vinh smiles. He talks about the process, with cardboard, tape, spray paint and sweat thrown in. He spins around for Irene and other people who take shots of it. I stand up and cheer. ‘Go, Vinh!’

  Another group rise up from the left side, clapping wildly too. It’s the original C gang. Stephen and Dazza are hooting like mad owls. Mandy’s piercing scream gives me flashbacks to the 500 Years of Winter concert.

  Vinh looks at my old friends. For a second I think he’s going to launch into another attack and chase them away. But he waves back with a smile.

  Afterwards, the judges make their decisions. Angus hands out the Best Costume Award and the Craftsmanship Award, then goes back to the microphone. ‘And the final award for Most Entertaining Performance goes to Vinh Nguyen!’

  Vinh nearly ejects out of his TIE fighter. He flies around and pumps his fists in the air as though he’s just blown up the Death Star. He collects the award and holds it above his head. ‘This is for all the nerdy rejects out there!’

  The audience erupts again and Vinh zooms off the stage at warp speed.

  After the competition, I’m the first to congratulate Vinh. ‘What’s your prize?’ I ask.

  ‘A gift voucher for an anime website,’ Vinh says. ‘But the real prize is being in front of everybody and getting some love.’

  I laugh. ‘Vinhja finally breaks out the shadows.’

  Stephen, Dazza and Mandy come over. ‘That was a cool performance, Vinh,’ Dazza says.

  ‘Yeah, sorry I broke your TIE fighter,’ Stephen says.

  ‘All good,’ Vinh says.

  Mandy steps forward. ‘We walked past your picture, Connor,’ she says. ‘It’s another Con-nerd masterpiece.’

  Stephen slaps my back. ‘I knew you wouldn’t forget about us.’

  ‘Sorry we’ve all been slack in replying to your messages,’ Dazza says. ‘We all voted for you in the people’s choice awards.’

  ‘I voted twice,’ Stephen says. ‘One for Elena. I showed her the picture on my phone.’

  Galway raises an eyebrow. ‘What picture?’

  ‘You haven’t seen it yet?’ Mandy says. ‘Come on. Even Connor’s mum is down there. Con-nerd needs your votes too.’

  She leads us to the showcase. Trust her to always take charge.

  Mama’s in front of the wall, grinning like crazy. ‘I knew Mandy would be dragging you down here.’

  The nerdy rejects stop and stare at my picture and they all gasp in perfect harmony. It’s a drawing of the Fireproof Knights and Hyper Hybrids. And they’re not facing against each other like it’s a royal battle. They’re just hanging out together. Dazza and Galway are drinking milkshakes. Vinh and Stephen are high-fiving each other. Mandy and Elena are yakking away in the corner. I’m standing in the middle, face to face with myself. Condor, the Fireproof Knight, shaking hands with Conzork, the Hyper Hybrid.

  Stephen grips Vinh’s hand. ‘A friend of Con-nerd is a friend of ours.’

  ‘Yeah, this crossover is beyond awesome,’ Irene says. ‘It’s like the Marvel’s Avengers meeting the Justice League from DC comics.’

  ‘Or like a Star Trek and Star Wars mash-up,’ Vinh adds.

  Galway waves them off. ‘Nah, it’s like a Panzer tank joining forces with a Leopard 2A7.’

  ‘Huh?’ we all say.

  ‘Um, that’s an old tank and a new tank. I mean, technically it doesn’t make sense.’

  ‘And you think knights and aliens do?’ Mandy says.

  We all crack up.

  ‘Who wants to grab a pizza slice?’ I ask.

  ‘Stuff that,’ Stephen says. ‘I could smash a whole pizza now.’

  Galway rubs his belly. ‘Oh yeah? We’ll see who the biggest eater is.’

  Mama steps in and takes out her purse. ‘I’m happy to pay for the pizzas.’

  ‘Wow, thanks, Connor’s Mum,’ Stephen says.

  I tug Mama’s arm. ‘You could be buying the whole shop with these two pizza lovers.’

  ‘That’s okay,’ Mama laughs. ‘I’ll just wait here and keep an eye on your drawing.’

  I nod. ‘Okay, but don’t worry, Mama, it’s not going anywhere.’

  We all walk over to the pizza stall and order two whole pizzas to share. We plonk ourselves on some soft cubes.

  ‘Would you call this fly-through pizza?’ says Vinh, still dressed in his TIE fighter. ‘Don’t forget to save those boxes. I might need them for something.’

  Mandy raises an eyebrow. ‘But there’s cheese and sauce all over it.’

  Irene leans over Mandy. ‘Trust me, that doesn’t stop him.’

  Dazza and Galway are slurping on their chocolate milkshakes. Stephen nudges me, wearing half of his pizza on his face. ‘It’s like your picture, man. You’ve predicted the future.’

  ‘Nah, this is more like a dream come true,’ I say.

  ‘Look, sorry if I’ve been dogging you lately . . .’

  ‘Nah, it’s cool. We can’t hang out like the old days,’ I say. ‘But when we do meet, it’ll be one heck of a catch-up.’

  Stephen gives me a cheesy grin. ‘Yeah, original C for life! Just wait until the Easter holidays. Elena’s coming from Perth too.’

  Everybody is chatting to each other. My old and new friends. The knights and aliens. The best of both worlds.

  These worlds are not colliding. They’re merging into some super world.

  Now I finally feel like a Super Con-nerd.

  Mama and I are on the train back home after Cosmic Smash. It’s crowded with cosplayers and nerds in sweaty cartoon shirts. Mama stares at a Stormtrooper reading a newspaper. ‘I think I finally get it.’

  ‘Yeah, he’s from Star Wars,’ I say.

  Mama shakes her head. ‘Both Matilda and Jennifer wished they were like you, because you’re starting young,’ she says. ‘You only have a Plan A.’

  ‘I still want to study hard for our family.’ I roll out my drawing and lay it over our laps. ‘I want to do the best I can in everything I do, not just art.’

  ‘Really?’ Mama purrs. ‘Well, if you ever need any tutoring . . .’

  I laugh. ‘Don’t worry about that, Mama. I’ve got a new study buddy, Andrew. We can help each other out.’

  ‘It’s such a shame your picture didn’t win the people’s choice award.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, it won the friends’ choice award and brought us all together.’ That’s a better victory in my books. I look down at my drawing and trace the lines around the characters’ faces. ‘I can’t wait to show Dad at home.’

  Mama squeezes my shoulder. ‘He would have been so proud of you.’

  I close my eyes and try to picture his face. ‘Just wait until I become a real artist.’

  ‘You already are,’ Mama whis
pers. ‘And you always will be, no matter what.’

  Back at home, I wash up after dinner and lay out my Dragon Wings comics over the living-room floor. I’m sitting in the middle of them, admiring Jennifer’s signatures when there’s a knock on the front door. Mandy comes in wearing her signed purple shirt. ‘Hey, Con-nerd.’

  ‘Hey, Mandeeeee.’

  Mandy punches my shoulder until I stop. ‘Seriously, that got old last century.’

  ‘I thought you would have framed that shirt.’

  ‘Nah, anybody can get a signed T-shirt. But not everyone has a special song dedicated to them.’ She pats her tummy. ‘So what does somebody have to do to get a noodle rollie around here?’

  ‘Didn’t you have dinner?’

  ‘Yeah, well, it’s suppertime now, Con-nerd.’ She pokes me in the arm. ‘C’mon, I’m the guest here.’

  ‘More like the pest.’ That gets me another punch in the arm. ‘Ow! Okay, coming right up.’

  We walk over to the kitchen, laughing, and I fill the kettle with water. I make two noodle rollies and we gobble them down at the dining table.

  ‘Sorry it’s wholemeal,’ I say. ‘At least it’s a roll, right?’

  Mandy slurps up some noodles. ‘As long as the noodles aren’t wholemeal, it’s still tasty.’

  We finish our rolls then I take Mandy to my room to show her Issue One of my Hyper Hybrids comic. ‘You’re the first person to have a copy.’

  ‘Oh, wow!’ Mandy flicks through the pages.

  ‘And, so you know, I’m working on Issue Six of Fireproof Knights after this.’ I tap my glasses. ‘The crossover is coming soon.’

  Mandy checks out Irene’s character. ‘Irene’s weird, but she’s the right kind of weird.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s a big gaming geek.’

  Mandy looks up at me. ‘So do you like her?’

  I cough and bring up some noodles through my nose. ‘Huh?’

  ‘Is she your new ooh la la?’

  I grab a tissue to wipe my nose. ‘No, she’s just a friend.’

  ‘Really?’ She clasps her hands. ‘So you haven’t found a new Tori?’

  I shake my head. ‘I’m just happy to have the old Mandy back.’

  ‘That girl’s long gone now. I’ve got something to show you.’ Mandy holds me down in my chair and spins it around so my back is to her. ‘Close your eyes and don’t turn around until I tell you to.’

  ‘What are you . . .’

  She pinches my arm. ‘Stay still.’

  I close my eyes and wait for her signal.

  ‘Okay, turn around.’

  I spin my chair slowly, opening my eyes, and Mandy is standing there in a pair of black-framed glasses decorated with bright red streaks.

  ‘What do you think?’ she says, taking a stance like a model on a catwalk.

  I’ve got lemonade legs again but I manage to I stand up beside her. ‘The red really stands out.’

  ‘The whole glasses thing makes me stand out.’ Mandy groans. ‘I got these at the start of the year, but I’ve only been wearing them when I really need to at school.’

  ‘So they’re reading glasses?’

  ‘No, they’re everything glasses,’ Mandy says. ‘I’m supposed to wear them all the time but I wasn’t brave enough to wear them in front of my cousin’s friends.’

  ‘Did you try wearing contacts?’

  Mandy nods. ‘Yeah, but it didn’t work out, that’s why my eyes were so red when you came in that day.’

  ‘Ahhh, that’s a relief,’ I say. ‘I know what you mean, though. I still remember my itchy eyeballs when I tried them.’

  Mandy laughs. ‘After all these years of hanging out with you, I’ve finally caught your nerdy germs . . .’

  I look straight into her eyes. ‘They look good on you.’

  ‘Well, of course they do.’ Mandy moves in until I can smell her noodle breath up close. ‘At least you and I can be nerds together.’

  I’m grinning back at her. ‘Yeah, that would be super.’

  A Special Note From the Author

  Inspiration

  Super Con-nerd is about Connor’s transition into high school. It’s challenging enough being in a new school and making new friends. But Connor’s going into a selective school, where kids have to pass an entrance exam. Connor would have been one of many, who were tutored for this exam. Other kids would have passed regardless because they were naturally gifted. Either way, I like to think that a selective school would be made up of kids who were bright or top of their class or grade in primary school. They can’t all be number one when they reach selective school. So what happens when someone who is used to being at the top of their grade is suddenly average? That’s one of Connor’s dilemmas in Super Con-nerd.

  I did try out for a selective school but I never made it in. So I had to imagine what it’d be like to be inside a school where everybody is supposedly smart. Connor realises he’s not as smart as the other kids. He wants to be a ‘super nerd’ to catch up, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to have to resort to tutoring. I love this idea of powering up to the next level and being ‘super.’ One of my favourite animes, Dragonball Z has Goku turning into a Super-Saiyan. Sonic the Hedgehog can also go super too. So calling it Super Con-nerd was a no brainer.

  Super Con-nerd explores the changing nature of friendships. Connor had a tight knit group back in primary school, and now he’s seeing his friends move on in their high schools. I tried to stay in touch with my primary school friends in Grade Seven, and we did try to hang out once a month, but in the end we just grew apart.

  While Connor does make some new friends and cooks up a new comic series. Connor wonders if he can still keep his old ones. I started to imagine what would happen if Connor’s two groups of friends actually met. I was inspired by the showdown seen in an old episode of Seinfeld where Elaine’s new ‘bizarro’ friends meets the original gang. More recently, I pictured Captain America’s Civil War, where two groups of heroes battled against each other.

  Characters

  Connor: Connor is lost in high school. It takes him a while to find his groove, just like many kids who start high school. Connor also has a little self-doubt, wondering if he belongs in a selective school. There’s a part of me in Connor. I always wanted to show my creations to friends at high school. I created my own video game magazines and comic books. They were mostly stick figures, but they had pretty funny dialogue. I also got the same pressure from my parents during high school.

  Mandy: Connor’s best friend and neighbour, they’ve had an enduring friendship that is being tested when they go to different high schools. Mandy’s music tastes are as fickle as anything in the pop world; she’s over Jason Bobo and now likes 500 Years of Winter, referencing a famous Australian rock band. Mandy is loosely based on one of my teacher uni friends, who packs a punch too.

  Stephen and Dazza: Connor’s two sporty friends are thriving in their high schools, but they still respect Connor as a cool nerd. But they’re not always there for Connor when he needs them the most.

  The nerdy rejects: I wanted to touch upon the different sub cultures that exist under the nerd umbrella. While being a nerd is mainstream these days, there are still many activities that still considered too nerdy and are on the fringes of popular culture. I wanted each of the nerdy rejects to have interests.

  Vinh: He is inspired by a friend who is a cosplayer and enters competitions. I sat down with the real life Vinh and asked him about life as a cosplayer. It gave me some insights into why people cosplay, as well as the dedication that it takes to make your own costume.

  Irene: She is based on a friend who works for a major video game company who have created some of the biggest e-sports in the world. Irene wants to be an e-sports commentator, just like one of my friends, and it’s such an awesome spectacle to see!

  Galway: He’s another person based on my high school friend, who likes painting models in the Warhammer series.

  Andrew: I’ve met kids lik
e Andrew, as a teacher and fellow classmate. They’re know-it-alls who think they’re superior to everybody else. I like this idea of Andrew being a villain who steals other heroes’ powers. That’s why Andrew forces Connor to teach him how to draw. I also wanted to give him a reason why he’s so ruthless when it comes to schoolwork.

  Connor’s mum: She’s mellowed a bit since Con-nerd, but it doesn’t stop her worrying about Connor. She still wants him to be near the top of the class. I loved having her being more involved in Connor’s comic book drawings, so she can better understand his intentions of being an artist.

  Who would have thought there would be a sequel to one of my beloved cHEwY creations? Answer: All those cHEwY gum gums who kept asking me about another book about Connor. Con-nerd has resonated with so many readers, so I’m super-hyped to launch this nerdy adventure out into the world!

  I’m extremely lucky to have a cHEwY guild who have helped me give Connor superpowers. My agent, Brian Cook, who pushes me to new dizzying heights. Huge shout out to my bookish team at Penguin Random House, especially my publisher, Laura Harris, and my editor, Heather Curdie, who thought Con-nerd was cool in the first place. Thanks, Evi O, for your ‘evillustrations’ that tingle my nerdy senses hehe.

  Thanks to all my cherished crew closer to home. My family – Mum, Dad and sister, Anna – who are always on board with me. My writing friends from the CBCA Northern Sydney Sub-branch and SCBWI. My original C gang: Mandy, Stefan, Elena, Dazza and Ryan. My Hoco friends: Joshua (thanks for naming your kid after one of my books), Galway (you finally became a character haha), Matt B, Ross, Jeffro. My uni and teacher friends: Mark Diamond, Christy, Carol, Hanna, Lia, Veronica, Long-Seng and Raymond. My comedian pal, Michele Lim, and cHHuY of course, haha. Plus all my friends from CABANG too. You are all proof that I’m lucky to have many groups of friends in my cHEwY universe and I feel SONICool to know you all!

  Finally, a special mention to Vinh Nguyen, who was mega-helpful with answering my cosplay questions.

  About the Author

  OLIVER PHOMMAVANH is a Thai-Australian writer who has worked as a primary school teacher and comedian, and now spends his time writing and sharing his passion with kids, engaging them with humour.