‘I’m leaving the skirts to the gorgeous girls today.’
‘Ah, right.’ He’s doing that melting-eye thing that is designed to make girls go weak at the knees. I am going to resist though. Today is our last day together, tomorrow we will be heading home and this will all be over.
‘I’m going with the boring suit look.’
It takes him all of two seconds and he’s back, before I’ve even finished packing my underwear, and he doesn’t look boring at all. He looks incredible. There’s a lump in my throat that shouldn’t be there, and a very horrible burning at the back of my eyes. I swallow and blink. He doesn’t deserve to look this good, life just isn’t fair sometimes.
‘We need to talk, Sam.’ He puts a hand out as though he’s going to touch my arm.
That’s my line. Not his. ‘Do we?’ I’ve just realised I’ve packed absolutely everything, and won’t have any clothes for the morning. So I start to unpack, and ignore him. ‘I need to go and have my make-up sorted, and my hair, and…’
He sighs. ‘I’ll see you downstairs then, in a bit? But be warned, I’m not going to let this drop.’ There’s a dangerous glint in his eye.
We have had a morning of hair straightening, followed by hair curling and twirling and pinning, and ‘natural make-up’ that has taken ages and more make-up than I actually own. Then we got dressed, with the help of my mum who was no help at all. Her constant cries of ‘oh my goodness, I need my reading glasses,’ as she tried to thread the ribbon through the tiny loops of satin just made Sally giggle, which then made us all laugh, which is no help at all when you’re trying to hold your stomach taut in order to be laced in as snugly as possible so that you have a waist.
By the time we were all tied in, we were thirsty from all the laughing and drank the glasses of bubbly that Juliet brought over rather too quickly, so we were all quite giddy.
I have to admit that I was actually chuffed when I lined up in front of the mirror with a grinning Beth and smiling Sally. My dress fitted perfectly. We all looked happy. Mum insisted on dragging Dad back into the room so that he could take a photograph.
Sally slotted her hands rounds our waists and pulled us in closer. ‘It’s great to be together again, isn’t it?’
‘It is.’ It really was. I need to add another item to the list I made on the Landrover experience day. I need to make sure I find time to meet up with my friends more often. Even if we do all have very different, very busy lives these days, in different parts of the country, there are some people you should make time for.
In the background we could see grumpy Ruby who had a scowl on her face. She only agreed to be in the photo under duress, and Dad took another one without her in case she’d ruined the first one.
I don’t think she’s the female bonding type. She’s also not the shooting or fishing type. I did feel slightly sorry for her actually.
‘I’ll be so glad to get out of this place, God knows why I thought there’d be any talent here.’
Only very slightly sorry. I know for a fact that she’s made a move on Jake, plus was cuddling up to Liam until Stella made her presence felt, and according to Beth she gained rather more personal expert tuition than was in the contract on the Landrover experience day.
‘I reckon we’re ready to face the world, girls.’ We high fived each other. It was time to head off to the church. We were going by car; Jess had a horse and carriage, and I couldn’t wait to see her when she got there. I was also rather relieved that the carriage wasn’t big enough for bridesmaids.
‘You look amazing.’ Jake is the first person I see when I get out of the car with Sally, Beth and Ruby. He is standing outside the little chapel in the estate grounds. The soft sunshine mellows the old stone, lending it a gentle glow, softening its edges and Jake looks like he was born to live in a place like this. It could almost be a film set, it is so perfect, so romantic.
I swallow down my thoughts and try and talk normally. ‘You look quite nice yourself.’
He lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles, which sends a little shiver through my body. I shouldn’t let things like this happen, but I am determined to enjoy today. I want to make the most of the last day of this amazing week, before I return to real life. Today I am going to ignore the disappointments because it is a day that deserves to be perfect.
‘Oh God, do you have to?’ Ruby is staring at us and rolling her eyes again. ‘Can’t we just get in there and get this over with?’
‘We’re waiting for your sister, the bride, remember?’ Sally laughs. ‘You’re such a misery Ruby, lighten up.’
Ruby doesn’t lighten up. She folds her arms, leans against the wall and looks very un-bridesmaid-like. ‘Whatever.’
I reclaim my hand from Jake and try to ignore the knowing look Beth is shooting my way. She’s now wiggling her ring finger and winking, which is beyond embarrassing. I am never going to lie to my friends again.
And then we all look up at the sound of the clip clop of hooves.
A small carriage appears round the corner, the sun glinting off the polished harness of the two horses, their coats gleaming and their manes silky long, floating as they toss their heads. But I’m not really looking at them, I’m looking at Jess.
One of the horses whinnies as they clatter to a halt and I forget all the lies and everything. Nothing in the world matters except this amazing moment. My best friend is smiling nervously and she looks absolutely stunning. Just like a bride should do.
Her dad holds out a hand and she steps down from the small carriage in a very elegant manner, her silver-white satin dress shimmying around her slender body, the beautiful sweetheart neckline showing the slightest hint of cleavage, her hair cascading in beautiful curls over her bare shoulders.
‘Oh wow, Jess, you look beautiful.’ My eyes suddenly feel all damp and gushy, which is not good after all the time that was spent on my make-up.
‘Will I do?’ Her own eyes blur over and she giggles nervously as her dad gives her a hug.
‘Gorgeous.’ His voice is gruff and he looks like he might burst into tears himself, and he really isn’t the type of man who cries.
‘You’ll more than do.’
‘Oh, Sam.’ She hugs me, and her dad pats me on the shoulder slightly too heartily, and we all cough and splutter a bit and try to act normally.
John recovers first. ‘Can you go and check they’re all set, love?’
‘Sure. Wait here!’ I hug Jess again, and Jake is already in the chapel, holding the heavy oak door open for me so that I can dash inside.
‘Oh, bloody hell and damnation.’ Everybody looks round and Jake pushes the door shut hard behind us, shooting me a glance and I know we’re both thinking the same. We hope Jess didn’t hear that.
Stella’s voice rings out clearly, her words bouncing off the walls in a very inappropriate fashion. It’s not exactly what you expect to hear in a church.
‘This dress cost me a fucking fortune and it’s ruined.’ I scurry down the aisle and Stella is glaring at Liam as though it’s his fault, and for a nanosecond I feel a bit sorry for him. ‘My waters have frigging broken.’
That does cause a bit of a stir. All the frowns of disapproval (apart from the vicar’s) disappear, the hissing and chatter start, and Liam flaps his arms, goes pale and looks like he’s about to cry.
The organist hits an opening bar and for a moment I think he’s about to play the babies in, then realise he’s actually playing the bride in.
‘Oh cripes, stop, stop! Jake, stop him! I’ve got to make sure Jess doesn’t come in.’ Jake emits the loudest wolf whistle I have ever heard, and all noise (including the organist) grinds to a halt. I gather up my dress and do my best to run back down the aisle, although this is no easy feat in four inch heels and a fishtail frock. I must look like a flopping mermaid as I run, but I think most people are too busy looking at Stella to notice. Imminent birth in a church pew has a kind of can’t-look-away attraction doesn’t it? Will she get stuck? Will it be
blessed?
But I don’t really care, I just want to make sure that Jess doesn’t pick this precise moment to walk down the aisle. This wedding is hers, I want it to be perfect, and I don’t want Liam and Stella’s offspring to upstage her and make an unscheduled appearance.
‘Stoppppppp!’
Jess is teetering on the edge of entry (better her than Liam’s babies), and hangs on to her dad’s arm to stop herself toppling. She does stop though, and is looking at me like I’ve lost my marbles.
I’d only gone into the church to check they were ready, and to pass on a last minute message to Dan, which I hadn’t done.
‘Shit, forgot to tell Dan! Hang on, hang on. Don’t move. Hang on one sec, just a sec, please? Don’t ask. Just don’t ask.’ I wheel back round, and get tangled up in my fishtail, and stagger into Ruby’s clutches. I say clutches, but she sidesteps so I end up clawing desperately at her arm. ‘Wait there!’
‘What the fuck?’ Ruby is not amused.
‘Stella’s waters have broken.’ I think I hiss it softly enough so Jess doesn’t hear.
‘My God, some people will do anything for attention, won’t they?’
Which is rich coming from Ruby, she’s probably storing it for future use.
‘I don’t think she did it on purpose.’
‘Now then, little Sam, what’s all—’ John looks like he’s about to head in and sort things out.
‘Something has come out—’ bad use of words ‘—no, cropped up. Hang on.’ And I head back in, doing my sideways leg flipping thing to try and move faster.
Jake does a thumbs up, Mum has a mop bucket, and there’s no sign of Stella. ‘Just give us five minutes, darling, everything will be fine. I’m sure the stains will come out, although this floor isn’t the cleanest I’ve seen, you’d think in the house of G—’ Dad, bless him, grabs the mop off her, throws it in Jake’s direction and steers her back to her seat.
‘It’s fine Ruth. A little bit of dirt never hurt anybody. Look at where baby Jesus was born.’
It’s as Dad holds her at arm’s length that I notice her hat. It is ginormous. And as she takes her seat, behind Juliet, I see why. This is obviously hat wars.
This is not a time to think about hats though. This is the time for action, and putting poor Jess out of her suspense. ‘But where’s…?’ I look round wildly, there is no sign of Stella.
‘She’s through there.’ Jake points. ‘Where the vicar puts his frock on. Liam’s rung for an ambulance, and I’ve got the ring in case they need a best man stand in.’ He winks, and for a moment something all gooey and gorgeous flows between us, and it’s almost like it was after the kiss. But without the carnal thoughts – this is a church after all. I love him and hate him so much. ‘Go get the bride,’ he says. ‘Go!’ I go, and Jake does another of his whistles, and gives the organist a wave.
I run with my flippy flappy dress and give them the thumbs up, and Jess smiles, and as I waddle down the aisle behind her I know it’s going to be alright. Even though I am now hot and sweaty and feel like I am in a straitjacket. Everything is going to be okay. One way or another.
There is a hush as we enter the chapel. We all pause for a moment, and then as the music hits its stride, Jess slips her hand through the crook of John’s arm and the ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s say it all.
I want to cry. Jess has the biggest smile ever on her face when she reaches the front of the little chapel and turns to glance up at Dan. But when I sneak a look under my eyelashes at the stand-in best man, it’s not Jake who meets my gaze. It is Liam.
He’s pale and pasty, and staring at me like he’s seen a ghost. For a moment I think something terrible must have happened to Stella, but Jake gives me the wink, and blows me a kiss, and he wouldn’t do that if she was screaming her head off in there, would he?
The sun is out, and it’s the perfect clear blue sky when we emerge from the dim, cool air of the chapel, and back into the bright summer day.
There’s a hint of a breeze which catches the bottom of Jess’s dress and tugs at her veil, which I’d call romantic but Mum would call annoying.
Now I know I wasn’t keen on the kilt idea, but Dan, Liam and John are posing for photographs and they really look quite good. Well, apart from Liam’s legs, I think those might need some tonal adjustment and airbrushing. Amazing what you can do with digital photos these days, isn’t it?
‘Sam, Sam, come on, you’re in the next photo!’ Jess is waving madly at me so I head over and take my place.
Jake gives me a little thumbs up and winks, and for a second, him being here feels less like a dirty secret, and more like something we’re in together. Which we’re not. I am paying for this, and I shouldn’t forget it.
But I’ve never felt comradery with a man before. Not like this. No boyfriend has ever been totally in my corner.
He’s a brilliant actor. In fact, from the standard of those kisses I’d say he’s got a promising career ahead, though perhaps not in dog-handling.
Talking of which, there’s a flash of black as Harry zooms out of the undergrowth, where’s he’s been for a potter, and he aims straight for us.
Everybody freezes. Wedding outfits and muddy paws don’t mix and who knows what he’s been walking in?
‘Harry, Harry, come here!’ Jake lunges forward, but he’s not quick enough. With an excited bark, Harry hurtles through the air, his jaws closing around … Liam’s sporran.
There’s a yelp (from Liam), so maybe he’s sunk his teeth into more than the fluffy bits, and then he’s got all four feet back on the ground and is tugging like his life depends on it. And growling as though he intends to kill it.
‘Stop him, stop him.’ Liam is bouncing from foot to foot, hanging on to the top end as he’s tugged from the line-up towards the photographer, who grabs his tripod.
For a second there’s a horrified silence, and then Jess starts to giggle. Her mother, Juliet, joins in, and soon everybody is falling about.
‘What a little belter.’ The photographer has given up on shouting for order, and is clicking away with a grin on his face.
This really could turn out to be the best photo session ever. Harry is doing exactly what I’d like to do, but because he’s so cute (and a dog) he’s allowed. If I did it I’d be locked away.
‘Should I stop him?’ Jake mouths at me.
Yes is of course the correct answer, but really?
And the trouble is, the more people laugh and shout, the more excited he gets.
Which escalates to a new high when the annoying whirr we’d been ignoring suddenly gets louder, and the breeze turns into a bit of a whirlwind that nearly leaves the bride garrotted by her own veil.
‘It’s a helicopter!’ Trust Mum to state the obvious.
We all wait, open-mouthed as it gently plops down on the flat land in front of the castle.
Even Harry drops his trophy, his tongue lolling out.
‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Look!’
‘We are looking, Mum.’
‘No, look! Harry!’
‘Oh God, what’s that dog doing now?’ Jake appears behind me, nearly knocking me off balance. He grabs me round the waist to save me from trampling over Harry, who is flat out in front of me.
‘Not the dog.’ Mum’s got one hand on her hat and is gesticulating wildly with the other – any minute now she’ll take off like a helicopter herself. ‘There! Him!’
We all stare at the two men who are heading our way, ducking down like they do on the telly.
‘It’s, oh my goodness, it really is … it’s … it’s…’ Mum is now clutching my arm and batting me in the face with her hat. She isn’t often speechless; she doesn’t usually have time to stutter, there are too many words that need saying.
‘Holy crap.’ Sally has her chin on my shoulder, and there’s a note of awe.
‘It’s Prince Harry!’ She and mum say it in unison, and before I can tell them not to be stupid we’ve all been elbowed out of the way.
<
br /> ‘Where? Tell me!’ It’s Ruby and her pointy elbows, and they are proper pointy. Lethal weapons.
I wobble on my heels, and grab at the nearest thing, which is Sally and we nearly both go over. I can cope with heels, or fishtail, but not both at the same time. If this is what Ruby’s like now, God knows what’s going to happen when Jess throws her bouquet later. I am going to stand right at the back, out of harm’s way.
Harry the dog rolls onto his back and groans. I don’t blame him – as weddings go, this one is getting a bit out of hand.
‘No it’s not.’
‘It is. He flies helicopters. And look at his hair!’ I’m sure if you think somebody is royalty you’re not supposed to point and scream ‘look at his hair’, Mum hasn’t read the etiquette page.
‘Mum, this is an air ambulance.’
But Mum is not to be stopped by mere facts. ‘Maybe he’s just visiting, he might have dropped in for a cup of tea.’
To be fair, the man does have a passing resemblance – well, a pretty close resemblance – to Prince Harry, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have given up the afternoon to cart a woman in labour off to hospital, and what are the chances of a random helicopter landing in the middle of the wedding photos?
‘All these castle owners know each other, you know, these lords, and earls and whatnot, and he does own a castle.’ She says it like it’s an enthusiasts’ club – oh, all these Volkswagen owners know each other.
A sudden thought hits her and she clutches even harder. ‘You could marry him!’ She seems to have declared an amnesty on the Jake front, and has not mentioned the baby, but she is obviously keeping her options open.
‘I thought she had Jake?’ Ruby says drily, but everybody ignores her.
‘I think I’m a bit late, Harry’s already taken, isn’t he?’
‘And he’s the last one.’ Mum uses exactly the same tone of voice she’d use to describe the last Rolo in the packet. ‘What a shame.’
The Wedding Date Page 23
