by Emma Nichols
“I want my stuff.” She stuck out her chin and glared at me, her nostrils flaring. Then she broke eye contact and stared inside. “I see you wasted no time reclaiming my room.”
“For the record, it was always my room,” I reminded her. “The whole house was mine, purchased before we married. Don’t you gimme no lip on it either.” Then I gestured. “Meet you at the front door. You can get your things.” I turned and started to walk away when she slammed both hands on the window hard enough to make the glass shake.
“Stop it!” I shouted as I drew near. “You gonna break the window.”
“I don’t care!” Camilla wailed. “You don’t want me. You never wanted me,” she howled.
“You can be hard to love,” I agreed. “Go on.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t want this life anymore.”
“What you talking about?” I was getting frustrated and tired. The last thing I wanted was Keyon waking up to another one of Camilla’s tantrums.
“I can’t do this. I can’t live without you.” She banged her head against the window this time.
“Well, you gonna have to. We through. You know this. We been through.” I shook my head. I was out of patience. “Front door before I call the police.” This threat should’ve been enough, but not for Camilla.
She reared back one more time and I had the impression she decided to break in…with her head. Sure enough, she connected just right and the glass shattered. Her forehead started bleeding. The glass had a hole the size of a softball in it. “I lost you. Gimme Keyon.” Tears streamed down her face, but I was unmoved.
“Bitch, you be lucky if I don’t press charges for this. Back up. I’m calling the cops.” I pulled my phone from my back pocket and hit the buttons for 911. I was trying to listen to the dispatcher while dealing with Camilla and failing miserably at both.
“You won’t let me have my son?” Camilla screamed. “We done.” She shook her head even as blood dripped down her face, staining her pink shirt and splattering her white pants.
“Can you hear her? My wife. We’re separated. She’s trying to break in.” I tried to remain calm while Camilla wailed and carried on. I put the phone on speaker, hoping it might help me hear the dispatcher better.
Suddenly, Camilla grew silent. “You called the police on me?” She whimpered. “I’m done, DeSean. I’m so done.” She shook her head while I stared through the hole at her. Then, without warning, she stuck her hands through the hole and dragged her wrists backward over the jagged shards of glass.
“Shit. She just slit her wrists. I need EMTs. Shit. I gotta get some towels.” I rushed to the downstairs bathroom. I’d loaded it with fresh, clean towels just today. In my mind, I kept reminding myself that as much as I didn’t like her, she was my son’s mother. Love his mama more than you hate your ex, D. Love his mama. Just love his mama. Don’t let him lose his mama.
This was my fault. I’d let this go on too long. I struggled to open the back door, my hands were so sweaty. When she saw me coming, Camilla fell to the ground.
“Let me die,” she moaned. “Please let me die,” she repeated.
The dispatcher finally spoke again. “Okay, do you have towels for her wrists?”
“Yeah. I grabbed them.” I knelt beside Camilla and wrapped first one forearm and then the other. For someone who claimed to want to die so badly, she wasn’t fighting my efforts to save her.
It seemed like it was taking forever, but finally I could hear sirens in the distance. I glanced at Camilla who had paled considerably, probably from blood loss. “I gotta let them in,” I explained as I moved to leave her side. I jogged through the open door, up the stairs and to the front door. I flipped on lights as I went to ensure they could see to work. Almost as soon as I reached the door, there was an ambulance pulling up in front of the house and two EMTs hopped out. One grabbed a kit, while the other rushed to the door.
“This way.” I gestured for the first responders to follow me to the stairway. “Down the stairs, through the open door. She’s on the grass outside.”
They didn’t even look at me after that. I didn’t care. I wasn’t the patient. I didn’t need their attention. I sat on the stoop as I waited for the police. They should be here soon enough. From downstairs, I could hear them working on her. There were people along the side of the house and I realized one of them had gone back to get the backboard to transport her. I still didn’t move. I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to give her any unnecessary hope that I’d change my mind. I’d done that too many times already, which was why her actions only grew more extreme. Next time, she could be trying to kill me. Obviously, Camilla needed help. She was completely unbalanced.
The EMTs had her loaded and were taking her away in record time. They hadn’t done much other than tape on the towels, from what I could see. The police pulled up and they exchanged words. I caught ‘non-lethal injury’ and felt a wave of relief. I remained on the porch step, waiting for them to come talk to me, trying to process everything that had happened.
One of the officers looked up at me and strode over. “Are you the homeowner?” he asked.
“Yes.” I frowned. In the morning, I’d have to fix the hole. Tonight, I’d have to find some cardboard or something.
The officer nodded. “Okay. Wanna tell me what happened tonight?”
“Sure. Camilla is about to be my ex-wife. We’ve been separated for years.”
His eyebrows peaked. “She told them she lived here and you locked her out.”
I shook my head. “She has keys. She wasn’t locked out. I don’t know why she was trying to break in. I think she has completely lost it.” I rubbed my face. “I don’t know why she broke the window with her head…”
“So, you didn’t refuse to relinquish her belongings?” He frowned.
I shook my head, stood, and motioned for him to follow me. Just inside the door, I had all the bags of her clothes and boxes of possessions. “This is her stuff. She left unexpectedly and didn’t come back. I packed it. It has been waiting here. She hasn’t called or texted.” I pulled out my phone. “Feel free to check it out. I have her saved as ‘Keyon’s Mom.’ It’s how I keep from being furious at her antics.” I shrugged, hoping this was explanation enough.
“We’re going to need to take some pictures.”
“Yeah. Do what you gotta do. I need to go upstairs and check on my son.” Then I slowly wandered up the stairs so I could watch Keyon sleep and hopefully calm down.
6
Tegyn
* * *
I’d barely parked in front of the building when my phone rang. According to the car’s clock, I had time to answer it. Then I realized it was Annie and reconsidered. This could go either way. I’d been dodging her calls for days, ever since I opened my email the day after the letter arrived.
Immediately my heart had started pounding when I saw the contact name on the form. DeSean Brown. The name probably wasn’t uncommon for these parts especially. Scrolling further down the form, I saw the phone number he’d listed. I would’ve checked it against the one in my phone, only Trent had erased all male names from my contacts while I slept one night, which meant I also lost the information for countless female friends with nicknames as well.
With a sigh, I decided to check out the ticket information. He needed two. One for Arionna Brown. One for Necie Brown. I swallowed hard. One way from San Francisco. I stared out into the yard. I could either be upset about this for no good reason, or I could just get the man his tickets. So, I did the research and emailed him some time options. Usually, I’d have called, offered a more personal touch, but I wasn’t in a good place.
Once the email was sent, however, I felt better and decided to select that self-defense class I’d been considering. There were plenty to choose from in Charlotte, but my schedule could be demanding. I needed a Saturday one for sure, which was how I’d ended up here. Realizing I could use this as an excuse, I decided to answer the insistent ringing.
“What’s up? You’re kidding right?” She huffed. “You tell me you received a new letter and you never called me back after deciding what to do about it. Did you talk to the police?”
“Yes, I did. And there’s not much they can do other than document it at the moment. So…” I nibbled on my lower lip.
“Honestly,” Annie grumbled. “Is there nothing they can do to protect you? No suggestions?”
“I can carry a bat,” I joked.
She snorted. “Pass. You’d only be beaten to death with it. What else?”
“Well, I’m starting a self-defense class in a few minutes. Wanna come with me next week?” I held my breath. I never planned to ask her. I never meant to tell her. Truth be told, I didn’t really want her to go with me. This felt like something I needed to do on my own, for me.
“Please. That sounds remarkably like exercise.” She laughed.
“Okay, well, when I’m fierce, you’ll be sorry,” I teased.
“You’re already fierce.” In the background, I heard a crash. “And the hubby’s home breaking things. So…gotta go!” She sighed as she ended the call.
Relieved, I took a deep breath and exited my vehicle. As I made my way to the door, I realized there were other adults and kids doing the same, which made me feel less scared and alone. One woman, already in her white uniform and wearing a yellow belt, motioned for me to follow her. She had a big, curvy build and long, curly dark hair pulled back in a ponytail.
“Hi, I’m Liz. First class?” she asked as we gathered in the hall. When I nodded, she smiled widely. “Thank God. I’m tired of being the new kid.”
“Oh.” I licked my lips. “I’m…”
“Tegyn.” His voice was breathy, deep, and directly behind me. I’d recognize it anywhere. Immediately, I stiffened. He was the guy I’d never forgotten, the guy my mind always drifted to when I was sad or stressed. Obviously, I’d been thinking of him more than a little these past few years.
Liz bowed. “Sabonim,” she murmured respectfully.
My brows rose. I glanced back and forth between them for a second until I realized what was going on. “You’re the instructor?” My voice was barely a squeak and my heart raced.
He glanced at the clock, reminding me that I only had a few minutes to get ready and pull myself together. “Here’s the uniform. Can we talk after class?”
I nodded numbly and reached for the clothes he passed me. The air between us crackled with electric currents as our fingers brushed, but I didn’t have time to revel in it or analyze what it meant. A second later, a tweenage girl appeared behind him with a woman. Mentally doing the math, I realized I was probably looking at Necie and Arionna. Their plane would’ve landed all of forty minutes ago. No wonder they looked out of breath. Unlike me, the girl was already in her uniform and lugging a couple of bags.
“Go line up,” D told her, but even as ordered her out of the lobby and into the room with the rest of the students, he never took his eyes off me.
Arionna glanced between us and her brow rose. “Come on, baby,” she murmured as she motioned for her daughter to follow her into the training area.
I swallowed hard. Even with Arionna there, he had brushed his fingers against mine while passing me the clothes and dammit, I already wanted to fall into his arms. In an instant, the years between us melted away and I was the younger, more carefree woman who loved to make him stop and take notice.
Liz tugged on my sleeve and pointed toward the restroom. “I’ll teach you how to tie your belt.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, determined to follow her so he’d get one more glimpse of my ass in yoga pants. I turned purposefully on my heels and allowed my hips to swing a little more than I normally would’ve as I made my way to the bathroom. Behind me, I heard him groan, and I smiled while feeling powerful again.
Once we disappeared inside the bathroom, Liz murmured, “Wow, the minute you saw him, you turned white. I mean, you were pale before, but when you saw him, you went pasty white, like Casper looked tan compared to you.”
I opened my mouth, realized, I had nothing to say, and quickly closed it.
No matter. Liz had apparently decided to do all the talking. “And now you’re pink. I guess you two know each other.”
Silently, I pulled off my yoga pants, folded them, and set them on the vanity before I pulled on the pants DeSean had given me. I hesitated for a moment, torn between leaving my shirt on and removing it. I eyed Liz, saw the gaps, and left my shirt on while I slid my arms into the uniform jacket. After I tied the inside strings, I held the white belt in both hands and stared at it a moment. Part of me wanted to run. Seeing him with his wife and daughter was too much, but I also needed to see what would happen next; even if it was bad, it couldn’t be worse than the pain of never knowing. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Liz. “Okay, so how do I do this?”
Minutes later we were out on the mats standing in lines based first on the color of our belt, and then height. I was in the very last row in between Liz and the girl I believed to be Necie. Though he stood at the front of the class, I’d swear the majority of D’s focus was on me.
“Time to warm up,” D began. “Ready stance!”
Everyone around me snapped into a position I knew nothing about. As he spoke, D made his way to me. “Feet shoulder width apart. Knees and arms slightly bent. Fists at the ready.”
I quickly moved my body into the position he described, modeled by those around me. I glanced at Liz and she silently nodded her approval. To my left, the girl was finding her footing in the stance. My brow furrowed, since I would’ve expected him to work with her more. She should be more advanced.
D nodded at me as he continued to wander closer. “Now fighting stance.”
I watched Liz, and quickly turned my body to the side, stepped back with my foot, and moved my left fist in front of me, the right near my cheek and ear. Again, D nodded at me and I could feel myself relaxing some.
“Jabs. Count of ten. Ready. Go.” Then he started counting in what I imagine was Korean.
By now he was behind me and it took everything in me to be able to concentrate. Breathing as I punched, I soon felt his hands on my waist, turning me slightly. His foot adjusted my foot, and then he was behind me, his chest pressed into my back.
“Breathe through the punches, Tegyn,” he murmured in my ear.
Tingles raced through my body and I wished everyone else would disappear already. This was going to be the longest hour of my life. “You’re not making it easy,” I grumbled.
His laugh tickled my ear. “Baby, you can do anything you put your mind to. Always could.” Then he winked at me and moved over to the girl.
“Hey, Necie. Never stick your thumb in your fist. Best way I know to break it.” He smiled at her.
“Thank you, Uncle DeSean,” she whispered loudly.
My eyes widened. My heart raced. When I glanced his way, I knew he’d seen my reaction from the smirk on his face. I scanned the room and found the woman in the chairs who’d come in with Necie. That would make Arionna his sister. And suddenly, I didn’t feel quite so sad.
In fact, I survived the class before I even realized it.
“I’ll see you next week, right?” Liz questioned. I could read the concern in her face.
“Sure.” I shrugged. “I won’t let you be the only adult,” I teased.
Liz grinned. “See you then!” And she made her way out of the building with the rest of the throng.
I wandered over to the cubby at the back of the gym where I’d left my clothes, wondering if I should change before I go, or just take off. I didn’t have to go anywhere but home. So, I made my way to the bench and sat to put on my socks and shoes.
D came over and sat beside me. The only people still around were his sister and her daughter. Again, Arionna’s brows rose when she saw him near me. “I’ll meet you in the car. I need to lock up.”
“Right.” She pursed her lips in disapproval. “Who’s this?”
I swallowed hard. And this was only his sister. I could only imagine how the rest of his family might react to me.
“This is Tegyn.” He stared at her evenly from beside me before finally caving and giving her an explanation. “She’s the travel agent who helped me with your tickets.”
Her head tilted. “Right. Just a travel agent.” Her nostrils flared. “We’ll be in the car. Come on, Necie.”
The girl smiled and gave me a slight wave as she exited the building.
When we were alone, D looked me over. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he noted.
I opened my mouth to protest. “I might look the same, but inside I’m nothing like the woman you used to know.” My chin jutted out proudly.
He chuckled and shook his head. “You think so? You’re strong, fierce, and driven. You seem every bit the woman I loved.”
I swallowed hard at his choice of words. Loved. Past tense. And my eyes watered up when he described me. DeSean thought I was strong. I blinked a few times to hold back the tears. I took a few deep breaths, hoping they would calm me down.
“Can we talk?” he asked sadly as he stared into my eyes.
This was what I wanted and feared all at once. I’d struggled too hard to get out of a bad situation with Trent. I had some kind of crazed stalker. I couldn’t do anything to worsen my situation, no matter how badly I wanted to be close to D. “Are you still married?” I countered.
His head hung. “Yeah. I am.”
I stood and gathered up my things. “Then no.” I took a few steps before whipping around for one final shot. “Oh, and it looks like you haven’t changed at all either.” Refusing to give him a chance to respond, I strode to the door.
Footsteps followed me. I sped up. Soon, he was practically chasing me to my car. “Tegyn,” he begged. “Will you just hear me out?”
I froze beside the driver’s door. There were only two other cars in the parking lot. With a quick glance, I realized both were occupied and everyone was staring at us. “I can’t do this right now. Not with an audience.” I sighed. “I wouldn’t do this at all, but I have to take this class. And I think I could actually learn from you.”
