Cooper By The Gross (All 144 Cooper Stories In One Volume)

by Bill Bernico

  Jose spoke first. “Lady, are you kidding us?”

  “Not at all,” Gloria said. “I’ve talked with the merchants around here they’ve all agreed to let you paint the sides of their buildings with more of this kind of thing. I guess they figure it’s either this or the gang signs and none of them wants that.”

  Jorge’s eyebrows furrowed. “Would there be any money in it for us?”

  “That’s something you’ll have to work out with the individual merchants,” Gloria explained. “Some might pay you in cash and some might let you take it out in trade from their store. One merchant even offered to have the side of his building painted with a fresh coat of white to give you a good canvas to work with. What do you say? Is it worth looking into?”

  Jose and Jorge leaned closer to each other and exchanged whispers before turning back to Gloria. “All right,” Jorge said. “We’ll give it a try.”

  Gloria gestured with her hand. “Come on, you can stand up again. Would you mind if I watched while you finish this one?”

  The two boys both got big grins on their faces now and reached for their spray cans. Gloria stood back, out of their way as they continued spraying the different sections with bright colors. If couldn’t have taken them more than forty-five additional minutes to step back and declare this project finished.

  Gloria pointed to the lower right corner. “Don’t forget your TMB signature.”

  Jose bent over with the black paint can and added the finishing touch to their latest creation. He and Jorge looked toward Gloria for her approval. Their eyes widened in horror as she pulled a .38 from her holster and aimed it directly at the two youth. “Hit the pavement,” she yelled as she squeezed off two rounds over the boys’ heads.

  Directly behind the two artists stood two older looking Mexican boys, both holding guns of their own. They had their weapons aimed in Gloria’s direction. Gloria’s first shot caught the man on the right in his thigh. He dropped his gun and went down in a pile where he stood. Her second shot went wide and tore a chunk of brick out of the wall behind the second gunman. He turned and ran full out away from his companion. Gloria hurried over to where the first gunman lay bleeding. She bent over and scooped up his gun, keeping hers trained on the man.

  She reached into her pocket and flipped open her cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. She instructed the operator to send a police cruiser to her location along with an ambulance. Gloria turned back toward the Gomez Brothers, who were still lying flat on their stomachs, their arms splayed out away from their bodies. Gloria looked back toward them and said, “You two can get up now. The other one’s gone and the cops will be here in another minute.”

  Jose and Jorge got to their feet again, brushed themselves off and walked over to where Gloria stood. They looked down at the bleeding punk and then up at Gloria.

  “You know this guy?” Gloria said, gesturing at the man on the ground.

  “Juan Ramos,” Jose offered and then looked up at Gloria. His gaze shifted to her gun. “Is that a golf gun?”

  Gloria looked puzzled. “A golf gun?”

  “Sure,” Jose said, pointing at the man’s bleeding leg. “It sure made a hole in Juan.”

  Jorge slapped his brother on the arm. “That joke’s so old it’s got mold on it.”

  “It’s new to me,” Gloria said, smiling. The man on the ground failed to see the humor.

  The police cruiser and ambulance pulled into the parking lot a few minutes later. Two officers got out of the cruiser and cautiously walked over to where Gloria stood, still holding her gun on the assailant. They both had their guns drawn and were pointing them at Gloria.

  “Lay your gun down on the ground and step away from it,” one of the officers told her.

  Gloria did as she was told and the second officer picked up her gun and stuffed it into his belt. The first officer looked at Gloria again. “Let’s see some I.D.”

  Gloria withdrew the leather case that held her badge and I.D. and handed it to the officer. He looked it over and handed it back to her. “I’m out here on the job, working for Lieutenant Eric Anderson,” she explained. “Call him and I’m sure he’ll verify what I’m telling you.”

  “No need,” the second officer said, handing Gloria back her revolver. “You were mentioned in the flier that we all got this evening.” He looked down at the bleeding man. “Who’s he?”

  Gloria explained how this man and his partner had drawn down on her and that the other assailant had run off after she shot this guy. Two ambulance attendants wheeled a gurney up to the fallen man, gave his wound a quick look and loaded him onto the rolling stretcher. The second officer, a man named Bronson, stayed with the prisoner after he’d been loaded into the back of the ambulance. He called back to his partner,” I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

  The first officer was a sergeant named Fallon. He waved to Bronson before the ambulance doors closed and the it sped away in the night with its siren ripping a hole in the silent night air. Fallon turned his attention to the Gomez Brothers and asked to see some identification.

  “They’re with me,” Gloria explained. “This is Jorge and Jose Gomez. Lieutenant Anderson and I worked out a plan to have these two artists decorate the local merchants’ walls.” She turned and spread her palms. “What do you think of their latest masterpiece?”

  Sergeant Fallon took a quick look at the wall and then turned back to Gloria. “Not exactly my cup of tea,” he said. “You give me a Rembrandt or DaVinci any day.”

  Gloria turned to the Gomez Brothers. “See, already you’re work is being mentioned in the same breath with two masters.” That made the Gomez Brothers smile.

  Fallon shook his head and walked back to his cruiser, leaving Gloria and Gomez Brothers standing in the parking lot. Gloria pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket, unfolded it and turned it around to show the brothers. “This is a list of the merchants we’ve already talked to. The ones with the red check mark next to their names are the ones who have agreed to let you paint their buildings. The contact person’s name is listed to the right of the business name along with the address. I suggest you start talking to them right away tomorrow. You’ll be able to do your magic during the day. You won’t have to sneak around anymore.”

  “You know,” Jorge Gomez said, looking at the list. “We use up eight cans of paint for each of these murals. At nearly four bucks a can, it costs us thirty bucks each to do these. You think these merchants would pay for the paint?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Gloria said. “Do either of you own a digital camera?”

  Jose held up one finger. “I do.”

  “Good,” Gloria said. “How about before you approach these merchants you go around to all your existing artwork and take pictures and have them professionally printed and put into an album? Then you’d have something to show these people and let them pick what it is they’d want on their walls.”

  Jorge shook his head. “We never do the same mural twice,” he explained. “They can suggest whatever theme they like, but the rest of the piece is up to us.”

  Gloria gave the list to Jorge, who promptly folded it and shoved it into his pants pocket. “I suggest you two go on home now. I’m sure it’s way past your bedtime.”

  Jose held his hand out to Gloria. “Thank you…” He looked puzzled. “Hey, we don’t even know your name. You a cop or something?”

  “More of an ‘or something’,” Gloria said. “The name is Cooper, Gloria Cooper and I’m actually a private detective. And you know what? I’m bringing my husband back here tomorrow to take a look at your work. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

  “Thanks again, Mrs. Cooper,” Jorge said.

  “Call me Gloria,” she told them. “Now go on home.”

  The Gomez Brothers turned and walked away. Gloria returned to her car and drove home. She quietly let herself in, undressed and slid into bed next to Elliott. She was out like a light in a matter of minutes. Gloria slept in the next morning and joined Ell
iott at the office shortly after ten.

  “Morning, sleepyhead,” I said. “How’d it go last night?”

  Gloria eagerly filled him in on all the details, concluding her explanation with the shooting.

  My face turned serious. “Are you all right?” I said, walking over to her desk and sitting on the edge.

  “I’m fine,” Gloria assured him. “The kid with the gun is going to limp for the rest of his life, that is, after he gets out of prison. I called Eric from home before I left and he tells me that the slug taken out of that other kid over on Carlos Avenue matches the slug ballistics got from this guy’s gun last night.”

  “So,” I said. “You put one of the bad guys away. Good going, partner. Did you get his name?”

  “I thought it was Juan Ramos,” Gloria said, explaining Jose’s lame joke. “But Eric tells me he someone named Mario Alvarez.”

  I slid off Gloria’s desk. “Mario Alvarez?” I said, somewhat surprised.

  “You know him?” Gloria said.

  “I know of him,” I explained. “The authorities suspect that he’s been involved in at least two other murders in the past six weeks.”

  “Is that so?” Gloria said, nonchalantly. “All in a day’s work.”

  “That’s it,” I said. “No more late night work. The kids need their mother and I don’t want to lose you, either. Is that clear?”

  Gloria smiled, stood and wrapped her arms around my next. “Crystal clear, Mr. Cooper.” She kissed me and held it long enough to produce the desired effect.

  I broke loose from her grasp and reached over to lock the office door. I looked at my watch. “Ten-fifteen,” I announced. “Close enough to twelve.”

  “For what?” Gloria said.

  “For a nooner,” I said, and grabbed Gloria around the waist and pulled her close.

  121 - Cooper And Son

  Gloria glanced out the window down onto Hollywood Boulevard and turned to me. “Looks like there’s a cop coming in the building,” she said. “What’d you do now, Elliott?”

  I furrowed my brow. “Why would you automatically assume it has something to do with me?” I said. “For all we know he could be coming for you, or maybe he’s coming to see someone else in the building. Just relax and let’s get back to this damned database. We’re getting further behind every week that we don’t keep up with it.”

  A minute later we heard the elevator doors open down the hall and footsteps coming toward us. The outer office door opened and a figure stepped in. Even through the frosted glass I could see the outline of a visored cap and dark blue uniform. I turned to Gloria. “It is the cops,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll bail you out.”

  “Funny, Mr. Cooper,” she said.

  Our inner door opened and the man in blue stepped in. His hand went to his hip and he looked us both over. “All right,” he said, “which one of you is Elliott Cooper?”

  Gloria smiled as I raised my hand. The man looked at her. “Something funny, Mom?”

  “Somehow I just can’t keep a straight face when I see you trying to look serious, Matt,” Gloria said. She gave our son a hug and stepped back. “My, don’t you look handsome in your blue uniform. You look like your great-grandfather when he was a cop.”

  “Aw, Mom,” Matt said, removing his cap and tucking it under his arm.

  I stepped up and shook Matt’s hand. “You on your break, Matt?”

  Matt looked at his watch. “For another fifteen minutes. Can we talk?”

  “Sure,” I said, gesturing to my client’s chair. “Have a seat and tell me what’s troubling you, son.”

  He looked at his mother and turned back to me. “In private?”

  Gloria put her hands on her hips. “Well, I guess I know when I’m in the way. I’m going down to the coffee shop and leave you two men to your business.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Matt said. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Gloria said. She left the office and Matt waited until he heard her footsteps dissipate down the hall before he turned back to me.

  “So,” I said, “what’s on your mind today?”

  “Dad,” Matt began hesitantly. “You’re about the smartest guy I know and I figured you’d be the one person I could talk to. Remember five years ago when I was seventeen and I came to you when Betty broke up with me?”

  I nodded. “I remember that very well. You told me how bad you felt and you said there’d never be anyone else like her. Whatever became of Betty?”

  Matt shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “And you were right. There were other girls after her that were just as good and even better.”

  “What made you think of Betty?” I said.

  Matt swallowed hard. “Dad, I’ve met someone that I think could be the one,” he said, smiling.

  “Really?” I said. “That’s great. What’s her name? What does she do? How long have you known her? When can we meet her?”

  “We met nearly a month ago,” Matt explained. “Funny how it all happened. I was writing a parking ticket and had just flipped open my ticket pad when she came along and quickly slipped another quarter in the meter. She winked at me like she’d just won some kind of contest and I felt a lump in my throat. We got to talking and before she left she gave me a slip of paper with her phone number on it.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Debbie,” Matt said. “Debbie Gunther.”

  “What does she do?”

  “Debbie works for The Red Cross,” Matt explained. “She’s a phlebotomist.”

  “A what?”

  “Phlebotomist,” Matt repeated. “She collects blood at either the fixed site or on blood drives. It’s a pretty good job and she seems to like it.”

  “I wasn’t even aware that there were blood drives around here,” I said. “Come to think of it, I never knew there was even such a job as a phlebotomist. Who knew?”

  “They have blood drive all around Los Angeles almost every day,” Matt explained. “Debbie works two days a week at the site and the other three on mobile blood drives. She travels all over Los Angeles County and the pay is terrific.”

  “Looks like your job with the L.A.P.D. paid off,” I told Matt. “One of these days you may graduate up to a real cop.”

  Matt cleared his throat. “That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about, Dad.”

  “What about it?”

  “Let me finish with this Debbie thing first,” Matt said. “Then we can get back to my job with parking enforcement.”

  “Okay,” I said. “So, when can we meet Debbie?”

  “I was hoping tonight,” Matt said. “I’d like to bring her to meet you and Mom. Maybe you can ask Mom to make her famous chicken and dumplings dinner.”

  “Oh?” I said. “Is there something you want to tell us?”

  A sheepish grin played on Matt’s face. “We’re getting married,” he said.

  I grabbed both of Matt’s hands. “That’s terrific, Matt. When’s the big day?”

  “We haven’t decided yet,” Matt explained. “I only asked her last night...and she said yes.”

  “And you thought no one would ever take Betty’s place,” I said. “See? Everything happens for a reason.”

  “You were right, Dad,” Matt agreed. “That’s why you’re always my first choice for advice.”

  “What kind of advice do you want?” I said.

  Matt shifted in his chair. “That brings me back to my current job. I could eventually go on to school and take some law courses and go through the academy.”

  “Sounds like there a ‘but’ coming up,” I said.

  “But all that would take several years.”

  “And you’re like me,” I said. “Impatient. You want everything yesterday.”

  “I hope you don’t think I’m a quitter,” Matt explained. “But I’ve decided to quit the job I have now.”

  I leaned forward. “Then what will you do?”

  “Well, I was hoping
to join you here in the investigations business.”

  An ear-to-ear grin played on my face and stayed there.

  “What so funny, Dad?” Matt said.

  “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this, Matt?” I said. “You’ll be the fourth generation of Coopers since your great-grandfather Matt started this business all those years ago.”

  “But is there enough business to keep three of us going?” Matt asked.

  “Your mother and I talked about this many times,” I said. “She agreed that when the day came that you’d want to join me here that she’d retire. She won’t admit it, but she’s not as limber as she used to be. Oh, she can still handle herself in most situations, but truth be known, she rather have more time to devote to her gardening and some of her other interests. There’s plenty of work for the two of us, so don’t you give it another thought. When did you want to start here?”

  Matt thought about it for a moment and then offered, “I’d have to give two weeks’ notice downtown.” Matt glanced up at my wall calendar. “Let’s say, first of next month?”

  “Perfect,” I said. “And you know what? When my father joined his father in this business, he had a sign made that said, ‘Cooper and Son’. When Gloria and I joined Dad, the business was renamed ‘Cooper Investigations’ but I saved the sign that Dad made. If you don’t mind, I’d like to get it out of storage and have it restored. Cooper and Son will be back in business.”

  “I’d like that,” Matt said and then stood to shake my hand. “I have to get back to work. Can you fill Mom in for me?”

  “Why was it that she couldn’t have stayed to hear this?” I asked.

  “You know Mom,” Matt said. “She’d get all emotional and want to ask a lot of questions and I only have a fifteen minute break. She’ll have plenty of time for all her questions tonight. I guess we’ll see you both then. How’s seven o’clock work?”

  “Perfect,” I said, walking Matt to the door and congratulating him once more before he left.

  Gloria was sitting in the coffee shop across the street from our building and could see when Matt left. She wasted no time in leaving the coffee shop and hurrying back up to our office. She was out of breath by the time she walked in.