Memories Are An Old Man's Toys

by Elayne Tulliani

  Even though she knew he was getting ready to tell her, Sherry couldn’t resist asking, “What will this program do?”

  He continued, “It will instantaneously intercept every single social media format and lock every user, governmental and private sector out of social media for two years. I could have made it for longer, but I figured two years would be enough time for some people to reconnect with society.

  “There will be people who will attempt to create new social platforms, but the program I have created will prevent them from being able to launch their networks to the masses. My program will not interfere with personal emails, text messages nor will it interfere or prevent consumers and clients from accessing any accounts they choose to utilize. People will still be able to order products online, and companies will continue to post their ads online. However, companies will no longer be capable of accessing your cell or home phone numbers to generate automated calls. This won’t protect us from companies that utilize rotation dialing where they simply dial a series of numeric patterns, but it will prevent targeted calling based on your recent searches or shopping trends.

  “Basically what I am doing is temporarily taking away people’s ability to utilize social media to ignore the people around them. Furthermore, I am preventing companies from collecting information from us that we don’t freely choose to share with them. Once the two year period has expired, then all bets are off. People are free to fall back into that black hole as deeply as they wish.

  “I hope during that time the majority of people will wake up and realize how detached they had become and they will make a conscious decision to utilize the tools available to them without becoming brainwashed again into thinking that they need these devices. They should enhance our lives, not rule them.”

  “Wow, Billy I’m not even sure what to say to all of that. I mean I understand what you are talking about but what about doctors and first responders who use these tools to save lives?”

  He did his best to lay her fears to rest, “I assure you I have put every safety net possible in place so that none of these platforms will feel any of the effects. People can still send pictures, email, and text and they can still store and share files, and first responders will not be affected in any manner.

  “Companies will no longer be capable of collecting your internet browsing history and social media will simply go back to how it was when we were growing up. We called people, we wrote letters, and we visited with people in person. I don’t see where this is a bad thing, particularly since it is temporary. I figure the first time people were introduced to these luxuries they blindly followed, totally intrigued by the capabilities of technology. I am hoping that by doing without some of it for a period of time, it will sort of re-set the social norm.

  “I have no grandiose illusions; I understand that people will still be pre-occupied by texting and snapping videos and pictures on their phones. I hope that by temporarily removing their ability to sit behind a keyboard and mindlessly create this persona of power they will be forced to begin interacting again on a real-life basis. I think that with all the wonderful things the web has to offer we have lost sight of the power that it holds over our day to day lives. I’m well aware of the fact that so many of our great achievements have come to life due to people’s ability to communicate with the masses. I also see the beautiful stories that get shared and that it can bring about real life solutions, but I also see a much darker side. I see the ability for sick minded individuals to gain power by connecting with others of the same mindset, making them that much more dangerous.

  “I see that people thrive on the illusion of power they feel when hiding behind their keyboards and posting anonymously. This power is far too often used to bully and manipulate others. I have watched the evolution of social media step in and strip children of the gift of childhood. You see Sherry we as adults are not the only ones affected here. Babies who haven’t been weaned off their mothers yet are being held in one arm while their mom or dad is busy updating their “status.” I just want to scream “For the love of God put down your phone and recognize the miracle cradled in your arms.” I know if I did that I would just be the crazy old man who hadn’t caught up with the times. Well, I may, in fact, be a crazy old man Sherry, but I am more up with the times than most, I see what is right in front of me, I see what others are afraid to see.

  “Believe me when I tell you, I have clocked thousands of hours studying this social issue. I have weighed the pros and cons of disabling each platform. I have the ability to send such a strong interference that even text messaging would fall by the wayside. However, I do realize how many times texting has saved a life, found a missing child or allowed someone to get a final message to a loved one. Now I know that the same can be said for social media but again this is only temporary, and I hope that when everything becomes operational again that perhaps people will have learned that there is value in a simple phone call. I hope people will see that the ability to hold a letter in their hand that someone took the time to write, reaches far beyond the actual words on the paper, it brings happiness.

  “People have adopted this mindset that if they “like” a photo or send well wishes over some electronic device that they have somehow “stayed in contact” with loved ones. That’s not staying in contact, staying in contact is being involved in each other’s lives. Staying in contact is hearing the laugh on the other end of the phone, it’s sharing those moments on a personal level… it’s creating those memories. I guess that is what this is all about Sherry, memories.

  “When I first started working on this, I’ll be honest my motives were all about vengeance. I wanted the people who made me feel insignificant to struggle. Then I spent the day going through my mother’s belongings, and I came across her journal. One of the entries was that she hoped I wouldn’t let the world change who I was as a person. She hoped that I would find a way to hold onto my identity despite how cruel the world could be at times. That hit home for me because if I were to move forward with my project in the direction in which it was headed, I would be doing what she prayed I wouldn’t do. I would be allowing revenge to take over my heart and at that moment I knew I needed to rethink my plan.

  “Originally I had programmed the software to all but wipe out the web. The viruses and software I had installed were on such a grand level that it would have taken some of the greatest minds many years to undo the damage I was planning. After reading my mother’s journal, I did some serious soul-searching. I was being driven by anger and the thing I wanted more than anything else was for those who felt such an entitlement to suffer. I wanted people to know that the same little kid they ridiculed and tormented, the child they beat up, had single-handedly brought them to their knees.

  “I originally planned to time the launch of my software this month because I wanted to witness the chaos. I know, I know this all sounds so vengeful, but that was how I was feeling. Then after reading my mom’s writing, I asked myself what my real motivation was. When I removed revenge out of the equation, my perspective changed. I still wanted to teach people a lesson, but I decided it didn’t have to be a lesson born of rage. Once I weeded through all of the hurt feelings, fears and resentment I was left with one common denominator. Except for my parents, I grew up feeling ignored and dismissed.

  “With that, I realized that I had the ability if only for a short period of time, to remove the platform that too often isolates us. I guess I simply want the world to slow down for a moment, look up from their devices and see the beauty that surrounds them. I want the moms to put down the phone and push their child on a swing. I want the dads to put down their phones and just throw a ball with their kids. I want families to sit down for dinner and not all be distracted by their social media; I want them to talk, to share, to be families again.

  “I know these are perhaps pipe dreams, but I can think of no other way than to simply make it all go away, if not for just a little while. I know some will flock back to the dev
ices the moment the programs become operational again, but I’m holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, some will begin to see the value in human contact again. I guess that sums it up Sherry…I’m hoping.”

  Sherry sat silent for a few minutes after Billy stopped talking then she broke her silence by reaching down and taking Billy’s hand and gently kissing it. “I get it, Billy, I truly do, and I don’t know how this will all play out in the big picture but I hope that your vision comes to life. I have often had the same thoughts as I look around at people and I know for a fact that there are others who feel the same way. I guess I just never imagined it was even possible to turn back the clock on any of this.

  “You are a very special man, and I am so thankful that you had the experience of reading your mom’s journal and that you took it to heart. I think had things continued as you originally planned it would have surely gone against everything she wanted for you. Furthermore, I don’t think it would have accomplished what your true goal was. It would have honestly hurt a lot of people and Billy, that’s not the kind of man your mother raised. We survived lifetimes without some of these programs, and we can do it again. I just hope people walk away with the lesson you are hoping to teach.”

  Their conversation had continued throughout the day and once again evening fell, and they had brought another day to a close. “Hun, I hate to do this, but I am exhausted,

  do you mind if we call it a night?” His words hung in the air with a tone of defeat.

  “Of course not Billy, this has been one of the most intense evenings of my life.”

  He nodded in simple agreement, “Good then, we have a lot of plans to make tomorrow, and it will serve us best if we catch some shut-eye.”

  They retreated into the bedroom and with nothing more than a gentle kiss goodnight the room fell silent. Billy was asleep within moments, but Sherry lay awake for quite awhile. Her thoughts were spinning in her head so quickly it brought on a sensation of vertigo. She wasn’t able to hold a consistent thought for more than a few seconds. The estate papers, the house, telling Lisa about getting married and in the same sentence having to tell her about Billy’s health, the project he had been working on, all of these thoughts were competing for space in her head and heart.

  The emotion that eventually overpowered all of the others was that she was going to lose her best friend, the only man who had ever really seen her for who she was. She lay there watching the lights from passing cars create dancing shadows through the Venetian blinds all the while gently spinning the ring on her finger. Billy was right, she thought, if our time together is destined to be so short then we are going to make it the greatest time ever.

  As for his software project, she loved the idea of it but was a little frightened of the thought of it becoming a reality. She had always been a “fly under the radar” kind of woman. She always did her best never to rock the boat, a trait she learned as a child. She had always known Billy to be the same way; she was secretly both tickled and intrigued that he was going to be able to pull this off.

  She drifted off to sleep with her head resting on Billy's shoulder and awoke in the morning in the same position.

  “Morning beautiful,” he whispered as they both began to stir. Billy was startled by how alert and happy she woke up. “Well it looks like you got a great night’s sleep,” he said with a ring of surprise.

  “Not so much a great night’s sleep as much as a great series of sobering thoughts,” she exclaimed.

  “Really,” he responded, “Well is it anything you would like to share with the rest of the class?”

  Sherry looked straight into his eyes and said “You were right, about everything, no one knows how long they

  have and any one of us could be gone tomorrow. We’ve been given the twisted gift of knowing our time together is limited, and we are going to make it the most spectacular time ever.”

  He was so relieved to hear her say this; he had been so frightened that she would be angry that he had dragged her heart into this. “Yes honey, yes we are going to make it spectacular.”

  Without a second thought, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and got out of bed and began to change into her day clothes.

  Billy just laid there watching her undress and thought to himself, “I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman in my life.”

  Sherry turned towards him and said “What? I’m sorry I didn’t hear what you said.”

  It was at that moment he realized that he had spoken his thoughts out loud. Rather than dismiss it, he chose to repeat himself, “I said I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman in my life.” She allowed the thought to settle into her head and she knew he meant it. It wasn’t that she was vain she just knew he wasn’t a man who threw words like that around if he said it, he meant it.

  “Thank you” she whispered through her meek little smile. “Now get your lazy butt out of bed, we have a wedding to plan,” she said while tossing a pillow at him.

  “Damn you are one bossy woman,” he replied while tossing the pillow back at her.

  “I’m not bossy, I just have strong leadership qualities,” she said while laughing.

  On that note, he popped out of bed, “All righty then let’s get this horse and pony show on the road.” The remainder of the afternoon and the day that followed were a whirlwind of contradictory emotions. They went from the town hall to get a marriage license to the attorneys to finalize his estate documents. Anyone would have understood if this pendulum of emotions sent them both into a state of depression.

  Surprisingly though, it appeared to fuel their passion for life and one another. Billy, after all, had months to mull over his fate and Sherry called on her ability to find the beauty in any situation to help her move forward. Billy spent the remainder of his day making arrangements at the function room and picking out a new suit. Jimmy went with him to not only purchase a suit for himself but also because he knew Billy didn’t have anyone else and events

  like this were meant to be shared.

  Sherry and Lisa had spoken earlier in the day, and Sherry stayed true to form in her commitment to being the strong one for Lisa. All four of them had mutually decided that they would not tell the girls about Billy’s health issues at this point, they wanted them to be able to truly celebrate the marriage without that gnawing sadness lurking under the surface and robbing any of the joy.

  They planned the wedding for September 12th which was just perfect because Sherry always thought that September weddings were the best. That only left them two more days to wrap up any loose ends, but they both worked very efficiently with one another, so neither one was concerned with the time constraints.

  Sherry and Lisa were spinning in the eye of an emotional twister torn between the facts that Sherry had finally found love at the same time that fate planned to rip it away from her. They were both forced to dig deep down and retrieve the survival tools that they had learned to use as young girls. They chose to focus on the love and embrace the reality that although Sherry’s love story would be cut short, it would in many ways live on forever.

  17

  TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED

  In the blink of an eye, the morning had arrived, and the house was abuzz with activity. Lisa and the three girls all came to the house to help Sherry get ready. Because the girls weren’t aware of Billy’s failing health, it was much easier for everyone to keep focused on the beautiful day that lay ahead.

  They all doted on Sherry. Catherine tended to all the arrangements and made sure that everyone and everything were where they were supposed to be at the appropriate moment. Theresa arranged Sherry’s hair in the most beautiful combination of baby’s breath and sparkling hair pins. Theresa applied very little make-up to Sherry’s already strikingly beautiful face, simply a touch of mascara, a dab of blush and a very faint lip gloss. Eloise had written a poem for them and affixed it to the inside of a handmade scrapbook. When Sherry stood back to look at herself in the full-length mirror the reflection that g
reeted her took her breath away for a moment.

  Lisa and the girls just all stood with their hands cupped over their faces in complete awe. Lisa was the first to break the silence, “Sherry, you look stunning, I can’t stop crying.” Since they weren’t planning a church wedding Sherry opted to forego a traditional wedding gown, there was, after all, nothing traditional about this situation. She chose instead a full length, trumpet fitted dress that flared slightly at the mid hip area. The dress was off-white with a portrait neckline that rested just above her shoulder blades.

  The dress satisfied the something new, now they needed to fulfill the something old, something borrowed something blue tradition. The something old seemed like a no-brainer to Sherry. She walked over and picked up her purse and reached inside. Her hand emerged dangling a very delicate silver diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet. The bracelet belonged to Sherry and Lisa’s grandmother. Sherry had confiscated it one evening many years ago when her mother and Bob were on a drunken binge. She was afraid it would find its way to the local pawn shop, so she took it and hid it away in a safe place. She remembered hearing her mom and Bob fighting about where it went one evening, each one accusing the other of selling it. Rather than feel guilty though, she felt both satisfied and justified, because if they were fighting about it, it meant that they were looking for it and if they were looking for it they were trying to pawn it. She laid in bed that night feeling like she had done the right thing.

  Today, this bracelet would dangle as a reminder that she was indeed a survivor. As for the something borrowed, Lisa had brought with her a pair of pearl studded earrings with a matching necklace that was ever so delicate. Sherry looked around the room and said, “Hmm now for the something blue.” As if almost on cue, the three girls started to laugh, and Sherry looked straight at them with a tilt of her head and said, “What are you three monkeys up too?”