Rules of the Road

by K. Aten

  “Oh!” Kelsey glanced down at the phone, then back up at the road ahead of her. She wasn’t sure how to respond but she had to admit that Jamie was right. While they had only spent fifteen minutes in each other’s actual company, they had come to know a lot about the other person. And over the previous few weeks, Kelsey had also sensed a change in her friend. While the other woman continued to be flirty, she no longer seemed as serious about it. Their conversations touched on more than just bad drivers and other superficial things. Despite the fact that they were fairly limited with the app, over the past two months they had become friends. “I feel exactly the same way. Despite the fact that we don’t hang out in person, and have no contact outside our daily commute, I think of you as a friend too. I don’t have many since I moved to St. Seren, so it really means a lot to me.”

  “So, coffee?”

  Kelsey cracked up laughing in her car. “You have a one track mind, Jamie Schultz! Oh, and speaking of your name, I tried to find you online. Did you give me a wrong name?”

  In her own car, Jamie glanced at her phone curiously before answering. “Um, no. Oh, wait, I don’t have my own picture I have a picture of Olivia.”

  “Of course you do! But I searched for Jamie Schultz and still couldn’t find you.”

  Jamie thought for a minute then realized why Kelsey couldn’t find her. “Oh damn, sorry Kels. I forgot that I’m listed under my nickname, so you probably just thought it was some dude’s profile of their car. Everyone calls me James.”

  “James? You wouldn’t happen to be friends with Jenn White would you?”

  Jamie’s eyebrows rose. “Yes, I am. How do you know Jenn?”

  Kelsey thought about how to answer her nerd friend. “My friends Tam and Shell introduced me. Well, they were actually trying to set us up but neither of us were interested.”

  Laughter came back over her phone speaker and Jamie’s voice followed. “I don’t know your type at all, but I do know that you aren’t Jenn’s. That’s pretty hilarious. And I believe I’ve met Tam and Shell before at a mutual friend’s house party. What a small world.”

  “That is funny actually.” Kelsey went out on a limb and said what she had been thinking for a while. “So what is your type?” There was no response for nearly five minutes and Kelsey knew that Jamie had to be nearing her exit by then. So she worried that she may never get an answer to her question. She was startled by Jamie’s voice just as she switched back to the center lane. She decided to try the nerdy woman’s strange rules to see if it helped her commute. So far it had been working.

  It wasn’t that Jamie didn’t want to answer Kelsey’s question. It was simply that she didn’t know how to answer. She had to think long and hard about the things she liked in a woman. She was nearing her exit and didn’t want to leave Kelsey hanging so she quickly answered. “I like smart women with curves who know what they want. Someone with personality and humor, but also a woman who is sensitive.”

  “Jeez, you’re not asking much are you?” Kelsey’s laughter came through the little blue car’s sound system and Jamie got goose bumps.

  “No, I’m not asking for much. I believe I was only asking for coffee.” She left the statement open and wondered how the other woman would respond. It had become a game between them and Jamie had actually come to enjoy it. Perhaps it was twisted the way she looked forward to Kelsey’s shut downs, but she liked it.

  “Hmm, why don’t you ask again on Friday? You never know, I may say yes one of these times.”

  Jamie wondered how it was possible to be crestfallen with disappointment, yet grinning in delight. It was confusing. “Okay little miss rainbow car, I’m pulling into my parking spot now. Talk to you tomorrow morning?”

  Kelsey’s response was almost immediate. “Unless I stalk you tonight when I take a break from knitting.”

  The pretty blue car was in park before Jamie responded, but her mind continued racing ahead. “I will cherish your stalking, should you grace me with your online presence. Good day to you, madam!”

  “Have a nice evening, Jamie.”

  DESPITE ALL THEIR talk of stalking and finding Jamie on social media, Kelsey never got the chance. She spent the evening making cake pops and brownies for her office because the next day was Dr. Davies’s birthday. The two secretaries, two assistants, and the techs, all pooled their money together and bought him gourmet cooking lessons. Kelsey’s Driv app chimed less than a minute after she started it up after work. Jamie had neglected to bring up Kelsey’s social media absence on their way to work but was quick rectify that oversight after.

  “All talk and no stalk, huh Kels?”

  Still riding a sugar high from baked goods, the dental assistant cracked up laughing then responded to her. “You know, you could friend request me. This isn’t a one-way street, nerd. You have two fingers, put them to use!”

  “That’s what she said!”

  Kelsey blushed when she realized that she did indeed say that and it could be taken in a very dirty way. And oh how she would like that good-looking woman to follow through with those words. Kelsey shook the fleeting wish away because that was never going to happen. She’d heard enough from Tam and Jenn to know that Jamie was a bit of a playgirl and wasn’t going to settle down for anyone. Which was too bad really because the engineer was kind of a catch. “She did say that, now what are you going to do about it?”

  The app chimed and laughter came back over the tiny speaker of her cell phone. “Ooh, you’re so feisty this afternoon.

  Did your whole office cut out early and go for happy hour drinks?”

  “Nope. It was Dr. Davies’s birthday and I stayed up last night making cake pops and brownies for the occasion. The entire staff is riding high on a massive sugar buzz right now. And that, my dear nerd, is why I wasn’t whiling away my hours searching for you.”

  Jamie perked up in the leather seat of her little blue car. “You’re a baker? Holy mother but you’re my new favorite person! Feel free to stuff me with sweets for the rest of your life.” Jamie’s sweet tooth was well known among her friends, though she wasn’t a big fan of the vegan stuff that Jenn seemed to like. Donuts, cake, pie, cookies, brownies, and ice cream, none were safe around the blonde. “On second thought, I’ve changed my mind about going out to coffee. I think you should invite me over and feed me your goodies!”

  The laughing voice of her driving buddy rolled through the stereo system with ease. “Jamie Schultz! You can make the most innocent things sound perverted! And there aren’t many treats left. I was going to go home and give them out to my neighbors.”

  A pout started to form on the blonde’s face and she down-swiped to protest the travesty of not giving her the leftovers. “Nooo! You can’t let such glorious things go to waste!”

  “But they’re not going to waste, my neighbors are highly appreciative.” Jamie harrumphed.

  “Eeent, wrong answer, Kels! If you’re not putting it into my mouth you’re wasting it!” A beat, maybe two went by before Kelsey’s laughing voice came back. “That’s what she said!”

  “Holy shit, I can’t believe you just said that!”

  Kelsey responded. “In all honesty, I can’t either!”

  “So what are you doing after work today? Any plans?”

  “Nothing huge. I’ve got to stop for gas at my exit then I have a Krav Maga class at 7:00, then probably home to catch up on my shows. Why?”

  Based on their many conversations, Jamie knew that Kelsey’s exit was the one right before her own downtown one. Without over-thinking her actions, she exited one sooner than she needed. She pulled into the gas station on the corner near the exit and parked her car. She thought for a second about whether or not her actions would be crossing a line with her friend, then she decided to just roll with it and replied to the flashing little rainbow car icon. “So Kels, let’s talk about a handoff.” Jamie had actually left work a little late that day so was only a couple minutes ahead of Kelsey on the highway, which meant the dental as
sistant would be pulling into the gas station any time. Jamie grabbed the note pad from her laptop bag and wrote a large note across the top sheet of paper.

  “Hold on, getting off the highway now. And what do you mean a handoff? Oh! You’re here!” Rather than pull up to the pump, Kelsey parked next to where Jamie had backed Olivia into a parking space. Their driver’s windows were facing each other and both women wore a goofy grin. Suddenly Jamie held her note up to the window so Kelsey could see, and Kelsey immediately started laughing. She rolled down her window and waited for the other woman to do the same. “Will buy coffee for sweets? Do you ever give up, woman?”

  Jamie flashed her a wide grin. “On sweets? Never! On coffee?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose that’s up to you.”

  Kelsey laughed then peered at the other woman, who gazed innocently back. “Yes to the first one, no to the second.”

  Jamie’s face lit up, then fell, then just looked befuddled. “Wait, no to which? I’m confused.”

  “Which one would disappoint you more?”

  “Ooh, that is a hard one!” Jamie’s face scrunched up in deep thought, and Kelsey thought she looked adorable. But instead of saying that she shot back one of the other woman’s favorite lines.

  She pointed at Jamie and let her have it. “That’s what she said!”

  The woman in the pretty blue car immediately registered shock then she slapped her steering wheel. “Goddamnit Kels! That is my line! You can’t just steal my lines like that and especially not twice in one day!” The end came out almost as a whine, which only made Kelsey laugh harder.

  “Poor James, whatever will you do? And it’s yes to the sweets. I have some cake pops and some brownies left over. Which would you like?”

  “Yes!”

  Kelsey snickered. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  “Sure it does, yes. To everything.” She comically wiggled her eyebrows.

  Kelsey sighed. “Yes to the sweets, Jamie. No to coffee.” Jamie pouted. She full-on stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. When Kelsey maintained her intractable gaze, she pouted even harder. Kelsey pointed at the lip. “You’re ridiculous! Now come around and get your goodies, I’m not your server.”

  The excited woman hopped out of her car and ran around to the passenger side of the little silver economy. Kelsey unlocked it and she practically dove through the door to see what was in store for her. Kelsey opened both lids and pointed at the items inside. “This one has the cake pops and the little slip of paper tells which is which. The other has the last three caramel-filled double chocolate brownies—”

  “Oh my God, gimmee gimmee gimmee!”

  Kelsey laughed. “Simmer down there.” She pointed at the blonde taking up her passenger doorway. “I want my containers back too!” Kelsey transferred the remaining cake pops out of her specialized carrying case into disposable plastic containers with the leftover brownies, but she still wanted them back.

  Jamie put the lids back on and stacked the two containers before hastily backing out of the car and closing the door. “Yup yup, containers back. Gotcha!”

  Kelsey covered her eyes for a second then watched as the other woman lovingly placed the plastic bins of baked goods onto the floor of her front passenger seat. She called out to her. “Please tell me you have friends that are going to help you eat all that!”

  Jamie came back around her car and crouched in front of Kelsey’s open window. She seemed proud of the answer she gave. “Nope, all me.”

  “James, you’re gonna make yourself sick!”

  “Will you come nurse me back to health if I do?”

  Kelsey started laughing. “You’re incorrigible! And no, I will not.”

  Jamie gave a dramatic sigh and grabbed her heart. “Oh, you wound me! I’m afraid coffee is the only thing that will take the pain away! Say you’ll have coffee with me tonight.”

  The Irish-Latina wasn’t sure when she had last seen such dramatic antics with the exception of her great aunt Juanita on her father’s side, but she was entertained. “I already told you, I have Krav Maga tonight.” She watched the attractive blonde’s face light up with her smile. She really did have a great smile and there was just something about her. But Kelsey was not going to admit that to the persistent woman.

  Jamie looked hopeful. “So tomorrow then?”

  “No.”

  An indignant look came over the blonde’s face. “What do you mean no?”

  Kelsey laughed. “I’m going to be sore from Krav Maga. Ask me again on Wednesday.” With that she rolled up her window and pulled her car over to the gas pumps.

  Jamie got in and started her own car then pulled to the exit drive and stopped. When Kelsey got out of her car to pump gas Jamie took a second to check her out then called to her. “So we’ll have coffee on Wednesday then?”

  “I said ask again Wednesday, I didn’t say I would accept.” Another car pulled up behind the little blue one and honked its horn, wanting to exit. Kelsey just smiled and waved at the nerd car. “Bye James!” When Jamie left the gas station she was more determined than ever to win Kelsey’s friendship. Yes, friendship was definitely the right word. And it was going to work because she had already gotten the beautiful woman to let her ask on Wednesday instead of Friday. She was wearing her down slow, but still wearing her down.

  When Kelsey got home she decided on a tuna salad sandwich before her class. As soon as the can opener came out both cats were immediately and desperately underfoot. She looked at the two black and white beggars. “Really guys? I just fed you your own meal in a can. You’re fatty cats!”

  Newman stopped twining around her legs and looked up at his owner as if to say “who, me”? She pointed at both of them. “Yes, you! The vet says you’re both overweight. What do you have to say for yourselves?” Pierre answered by jumping up on the counter and knocking her clean fork onto the floor. The cat stared at her and she squinted back at his sheer audacity. Finally she shoved him off the counter and picked up her fork. “You’re an asshole, Pierre!”

  As Kelsey ate her dinner of sandwich and store-bought pasta salad, she thought about her interactions with her driving friend. Jamie was certainly persistent, but it helped her case immensely that she was also sweet and funny. And Kelsey thought she could do a lot worse than to have a friend like Jamie. What didn’t help was the fact that she was also attracted to her nerdy friend. Minus a few minor things, Jamie seemed totally like her dream type. But she shrugged her shoulders and cleaned up in time to leave for her class. She was sure that attraction would sort itself out in time.

  Chapter Six

  DESPITE HER WORDS to Kelsey, Jamie did not eat all the treats herself. She took some of them to work the next day where she had the opportunity to show Bill what good things actually tasted like. Though she wasn’t completely certain the man hadn’t burned his taste buds out after watching him eat microwaved mac and cheese covered in mayonnaise and taco sauce for breakfast. She pushed the container toward the dividing line where one person’s desk ended and the other’s territory began. “Despite the fact that these are probably really unhealthy, eat one anyway. I think your body will thank you.”

  Bill’s eyes lit up with glee. “Oh man, score! Where did you get these? I love cake pops!”

  “Seriously dude, is there anything that you don’t love? One of my friends had some left over from a work birthday party and she let me have them.”

  The man mumbled around a bite of cake. “Oh, mmm, these are good.” Luckily he swallowed before speaking again. “Is that all she made, just the cake pops?”

  Jamie glanced at the bin that had eight treats remaining and flashed back to the three caramel-filled brownies she ate for dinner the night before. “Yup.” She stood and grabbed the re-seal-able container. “I should probably ask if anyone else wants some—”

  She was stopped by a hand on her wrist and a deadly serious look from Bill. “No. You shouldn’t.”

  Jamie slowly lowered the container back to
the desktop, exactly on the line between their two spaces. “Okay, man, I’ll just leave them right here.” She sat down again and spun in her chair to go over the designs for a new tester. She didn’t let out the laugh that was threatening but a smirk was firmly in place at Bill’s behavior when introduced to Kelsey’s treats.

  KELSEY WAS SORE, really sore. She started taking Krav Maga classes six months previous on her father’s urging. Well, he hadn’t urged her into that specific discipline of self-defense. He and her mother had moved back to Texas to be near his family seven years before, but she talked to them on the phone every single week and flew down to visit once or twice a year. It hardly seemed like enough but she only made so much money as a dental assistant and student loans were a killer on her budget.

  Her parents owned a garage down in San Antonio, but her dad rarely worked on the cars anymore. He had a solid staff of nephews and one niece that did all the dirty work while he and Kelsey’s mother managed the place. But they were pretty tied to the business and couldn’t really leave to come up and visit Kelsey either. It was during one of her weekly phone calls that her dad had practically begged her to take some sort of self-defense class. She tried to protest that she could handle herself but her dad still got his point across. In his very no-nonsense way, he elicited a promise from her. Her dad was a proud man and never begged for anything, but he had begged her then after they had spent at least twenty minutes talking about the uptick of hate crimes across the nation.

  “Mi pequeño, I worry. Please say you will learn some things to protect yourself.”

  She tried to laugh off his words in response. “Papa, I’m thirty-two years old! I’m a little beyond classes to protect my delicate sensibilities!”

  Frustration was evident in his answer. “¡No, mi hija! If you do not learn karate or something, I will send your cousin Lupe up to camp on your doorstep.”