Love Online

by Penelope Ward

  Her hands were on the back of my head as she guided me back up and pushed me deeper into her mouth. The sounds she made were killing me. I knew she could feel my erection against her. There was no denying how hard I was, and there was nothing more in the world I wanted right now than to fuck her on this counter. I would’ve given just about anything for that, to wrap her legs around me and empty all of my frustration into her.

  But I knew my body was moving way ahead of my mind. Even though the prospect of sex with Eden felt like it was right there, the distance between the present situation and that scenario was like the length of a football field.

  I stopped the kiss and buried my head in her neck. “I want you.”

  “I want you, too,” she panted.

  I looked into her eyes. “I don’t think you understand how much.”

  Eden’s breathing became heavier. “I’m scared.”

  “I know. That’s why I stopped, even though I really didn’t want to. I know you’re not ready.”

  “I mean, you’re leaving in what—a few days?”

  “I’m leaving, but I’ll be back.”

  “Then what?”

  Answering honestly, I said, “I don’t know.”

  “You’re gonna keep flying back and forth, only to come to the conclusion a year down the line that it’s not gonna work out between us?”

  “Eden, I think you’re jumping way ahead right now.”

  “Am I? There’s no way this could work. No matter how strong our attraction to one another is, we’re just in two different places in life. It’s why I didn’t want—”

  “I know. You didn’t want to meet me. I violated our agreement in coming to find you. I don’t regret it for one second. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I really don’t. I only know what I feel today. And I feel a lot—more than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. But more than anything, I feel grateful. I’m grateful that you’re okay.” I pointed toward Ollie’s room. “I’m grateful to have been blessed with that kid’s presence. In one day of knowing him, he’s inspired me so much—to slow down, to be a better person.” I ran my thumb along her bottom lip. “I’m grateful that I got to kiss these lips. Because a part of me believed there was no chance in hell of that ever happening.”

  She looked like she wanted to cry. “Ryder, I’m feeling so much right now, too.”

  I kissed her hard before I said, “Give me today. Just give me today. But don’t be surprised if I ask the same of you tomorrow and the next day. Will you take things day by day with me? Because I’m not anywhere ready to let you go. Not even close.”

  Her eyes watered as she pulled me close. “Okay. But just today. And don’t be surprised if I say that tomorrow.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  * * *

  EDEN

  I was working the lunch-hour rush at Ellerby’s when Camille came up behind me in the kitchen. “Eden?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Pretty much the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life is at the corner table requesting you. He has Paul Newman eyes. You know him?”

  I smiled. Ryder is here?

  “Yeah. I know him. That’s the man who’s gonna break my heart.”

  Excitement filled her eyes. “You’d better spill later.”

  After I dropped off a couple of plates at another table, I looked to the corner to find Ryder staring at his laptop. When he spotted me, a huge smile spread across his face.

  “How can I help you, sir?”

  “There are so many ways I could answer that question…” He stood up from the table.

  “What are you in the mood for?” I asked.

  “Again, so many ways I could answer that.” He beamed and pointed to his cheek. “How about some sugar?”

  I gave him a quick peck and asked, “What are the plans tonight?”

  “I want to take you guys somewhere after Ollie gets out of school. I can come with you to get him, and we can go out straight from there, unless you have to take him home for any reason.”

  “That would be great. Where are we going?”

  “It’s a secret.” He winked. “I want to take you guys out pretty much every day I’m here, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course. Although, I was thinking that on your last night I’d like to make you dinner at the house—to pay you back for cooking for us. Have you decided when you’re leaving yet?”

  Ryder frowned. “My father set up a meeting he says he really needs me to attend on Monday morning. So I’d like to stay until Sunday and take the latest possible flight back.” He took one look at my face and caressed my cheek. “I’ll be back, Eden. Don’t worry.”

  He’d read my mind.

  I nodded. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe he’d be back. I just didn’t understand how we were going to work long-term. My brother was a lifelong responsibility. Our lives were not conducive to the jet-setting lifestyle Ryder lived. He needed to see the big picture. Maybe he didn’t want to think about that right now, but it’s something I couldn’t ignore.

  He sat back down in the booth. “If you don’t mind, I think I’m just gonna hang out here until your shift is over, get some work done.”

  “That’s three more hours. Won’t you be bored?”

  “There’s wireless here. Plus, I get to look at you. I don’t get bored looking at you. Just the opposite—quite excited, actually.”

  Feeling my cheeks heating up, I shook my head. “What am I gonna do with you?”

  He smirked. “Again, so many ways I could answer that question.”

  ***

  We picked Ollie up after school, and as we drove, Ryder refused to tell us where we were going. It made me wonder what he had up his sleeve, especially since he didn’t know the area.

  When we pulled up to the trampoline place, I didn’t understand, because I’d specifically told Ollie in front of Ryder that we couldn’t come here.

  He whispered in my ear, “Before you get upset at me, I arranged for him to have his own space so he can’t get hurt.”

  Squinting in confusion, I said, “His own space?”

  “Technically I rented out the entire place for us.”

  My eyes widened. “What? How did you manage that?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  Ryder must have spent a fortune on this. I knew he was wealthy, but I didn’t want him spending that kind of money on us.

  “Where are we?” Ollie finally asked.

  I blew out a breath, deciding to concede. Ollie was going to flip out. “Bounce,” I said.

  He squealed. “No way!”

  Ryder turned around. “You said you wanted to come here, right?”

  “Yeah, but I thought Eden said no.”

  “Well, I rented out the place, so you won’t have to worry about anyone bumping into you.”

  “How?” he asked.

  Ollie had no concept of what it was like to have money. We always had to save for nice things.

  “I pulled a few strings.”

  When we entered, at least five people wearing the same neon orange shirts were lined up in a row, as if they were expecting us.

  “Hello, Mr. McNamara,” one of them said.

  Ryder nodded. “Hey.”

  “The party room is set up for you. And you’ll have access to any of the trampolines on either level. The whole place is yours. We just need an adult to sign a waiver for him. We also have these non-slip socks for everyone.”

  Ryder handed me the form to fill out. “Eden?”

  Ollie was understandably confused. “Party room? It’s not my birthday.”

  “The only way to rent out this place is for birthday parties,” Ryder explained. “So, I just asked them to give us all the party stuff, too. We get pizza and cake for twenty people. If I had more time, I would’ve had you invite your friends, but I wanted to surprise you, and I also remembered that it’s safer for you if no one else is around, so no one can knock into you. When’s your birthday anyway?”


  “It was a few months ago.”

  “See? I missed it. So, happy birthday.”

  It was nice to see the smile on my brother’s face.

  I signed the waiver, then began to remove Ollie’s socks to put on the ones he was required to wear.

  Ollie looked up at Ryder. “You’ll jump with me, right?”

  “Heck, yeah. Your sister’s gonna jump, too.” Ryder flashed me a smile that showed a glimpse of his inner child.

  “Can we jump first, Ryder? Then eat?” Ollie asked.

  “Whatever you want.”

  I handed Ryder a pair of the special socks. “We all have to wear these.”

  He examined them. “What do you know, Ollie? They make socks for Bigfoot-sized feet here.”

  Ollie laughed.

  We made our way up the stairs to the biggest room in the joint. It was just a series of connected, flat, rectangular trampolines. The space was practically the size of a basketball court.

  Ryder kept a close eye on Ollie, so I didn’t have to do much except trail behind them as I admired the view. The way Ryder’s jeans hugged his ass was absolutely divine. I wondered if he and I would have alone time later, because I really wanted to taste his lips again. It was all I could think about.

  As I watched him jump with my brother, I realized Ryder was definitely a kid at heart. They counted to three to coordinate landing on their butts at the exact same time.

  I decided to venture away from them for a bit, giving myself my own space on one of the trampolines at the other corner of the room. I jumped as high as I wanted, feeling happier and freer than I had in a long time. But I knew that likely had little to do with flying freely in the air and everything to do with the man jumping onto his ass like a fool in the other corner.

  When I finally returned to them, Ryder’s face lit up when he noticed me.

  He patted his stomach as he turned to Ollie. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Wanna go eat?”

  Ollie slowed down his jumping and came to a stop. “Yeah. I’m hungry, too.”

  We ventured downstairs to the party room. The table was set up with a couple of boxes of pizza, a pitcher of fruit punch, paper plates, and cups. On a table in the corner was a half-sheet cake that was supposed to be a trampoline. It had little people figures on the top.

  After working up an appetite, we demolished an entire pizza and broke into the second. Ollie was working on his slice of cake when I took Ryder aside.

  “I can’t thank you enough for this afternoon. No one has ever done anything like this for him. But please don’t feel like you need to do this kind of thing to make him happy. He would be just as happy with a pizza party at home.”

  “I wanted to. I wanted to do something fun for him that he doesn’t normally have. It makes me even happier than it makes him. I promise, I won’t pull this over-the-top shit all of the time.”

  “It seriously must have cost a fortune.”

  “What good is having money if you can’t use it to make people happy? Do you know how much money I’ve spent over the years throwing parties for people I don’t even know? This day brought me more joy than I’ve had in a long time.”

  I gripped the material of his shirt. “How can I ever thank you?”

  “Again…so many ways I could answer that.” He winked.

  “I know just how I’m gonna do it.”

  He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Oh yeah? Do tell.”

  “I’m taking tonight off.”

  He slid his hand down to my ass. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. One more night of missed work is not going to kill me. I don’t want to work when I could be spending this precious time with you.”

  “You’re not gonna hear me complain about that, Eden.”

  Ryder brought my face to his and planted a long kiss on my mouth. He bit at my bottom lip. My panties were getting wetter by the second. This wasn’t the appropriate place to be losing control. I could’ve kissed him endlessly but pulled away at the sound of my brother’s voice.

  “Ew…kissing,” Ollie said.

  I hadn’t realized he would be able to hear it, since we’d been at the other corner of the room.

  “Is there anything you don’t hear?” I said to him.

  We walked over to Ollie, hand in hand.

  “I apologize,” Ryder said. “But I really like kissing your sister.”

  My brother scrunched his nose. “You think?”

  Ryder laughed, placing his hand on my knee and squeezing it. That simple act made my entire body weak.

  He turned to Ollie. “After you finish your cake, you wanna go another round on the trampolines?”

  “Can we?”

  Ryder squeezed my leg again. “Yup. We got the whole place ’til six.”

  Ollie put his plastic fork down. “Then, yeah, let’s go!”

  This time, Ryder and I held hands as we jumped across from Ollie, giving him some space.

  As I bounced hand in hand with this beautiful man next to me, I felt on top of the world.

  ***

  After I put Ollie to sleep that night, I invited Ryder into my room. It was the first time he’d been inside the place where I worked.

  He looked around. “So this is the infamous Montana Lane set.”

  “Yup.” I sighed, kind of nervous for him to see everything. “This is it.”

  “It’s smaller than it looks from afar.”

  I turned on the white Christmas lights. “Yeah…”

  “It feels strange being in here, but in a good way,” he said. “This room has been like a dream to me for so long.”

  He continued scoping out the space. His eyes landed on a bottle of lube sitting on my bureau. I knew what he was thinking, and I hated that it bothered him. I also couldn’t help but notice the sizable bulge in his pants. He was very turned on right now.

  This was the first time we’d ever been alone together while Ollie was asleep. I wanted Ryder so badly my body hurt. I wanted to feel his lips everywhere, wanted to feel his cock moving in and out of me. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he tried to have sex with me tonight, I would give in. Resisting that would be impossible—not only because I hadn’t had sex with anything other than a dildo in two years, but because I’d never wanted a man like I wanted him. Given that I couldn’t resist him, a part of me hoped he didn’t try. That would be best for me in the long run—especially if he got back to Los Angeles and came to his senses.

  He then spotted my box of condoms.

  Shit.

  Would he think I was lying about my dry spell? The truth about those rubbers was almost too ridiculous to believe.

  Ryder lifted the strip and raised his brow. “Just in case?”

  “Actually, I have a client who…likes to watch me roll them onto bananas.”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  “Dead serious. And that’s far from the weirdest thing people have asked me to do.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with people? A banana?” He wrapped his hands around me and pulled me into a hug. “At least go for an eggplant.”

  I laughed into his neck, relieved he was making light of it.

  “My beautiful cam girl.” He pulled back to look at me before enveloping my mouth in his.

  My legs felt weak as I whispered over his lips, “I’m real.”

  “You’re realer than I ever could have imagined.”

  My heart pounded through my chest.

  He suddenly moved back and placed his palm between my breasts. “God, Eden. Your heart is beating so fast. Are you nervous?”

  I decided to be honest with him. “A little.”

  “You think I’m gonna try to have sex with you right now? Is that what it is? Because we should really talk about that. I’m not gonna pressure you into anything. You’re not ready. I know that.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to—just the opposite. I’m just really scared to take that step…with you leavi
ng.”

  “I get it. I think we’ll both know when the time is right. So, take a deep breath and know that I just want to spend time with you. You don’t have to worry about us doing something we may not be ready for tonight. I just want to be with you.”

  A mix of relief and disappointment ran through me as I took it upon myself to steal another kiss. There was no other feeling like his warm, supple lips on mine along with the prickle from the scruff on his chin.

  Ryder wandered the room again and began picking up some of my props. We got a good laugh when he placed the feather boa around his neck. He flashed me a wicked grin, and I wanted to jump him.

  The mood lightened significantly over the course of the next half hour.

  He picked up my violin and handed it to me. I played for him as he sat with his eyes closed and took in every note of “Fanfare Minuet.”

  At one point, he found a pair of handcuffs I had laying around—another prop. Before I could stop him, he opened them and locked one of his hands to the bedpost.

  “No!” I shouted, but it was too late.

  “I’m just kidding around.” He laughed.

  “But I don’t have the keys!”

  His smile faded. “What?”

  “I have no idea what I did with them.”

  “Are you serious?”

  We laughed so hard we were crying.

  “Well, I guess I’m stuck here for the night, then.”

  I lay down next to him. “Actually, I didn’t want you to leave anyway.”

  “Is that right?” His tone was suggestive.

  “I was hoping you’d stay the night.”

  “So this all worked out, my being tied to the bed. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “It did. Maybe later I’ll go find a bobby pin and try to free you. But for now, I kind of like this situation.”

  He batted his lashes. “Feel free to take advantage of my vulnerability.”

  He even had beautiful eyelashes.

  God, losing you is not going to be easy.

  “Don’t tempt me,” I said before leaning in and taking another kiss.