Love Online

by Penelope Ward

  I couldn’t kiss him hard enough as I planted my lips on his. “I don’t know that it even felt like we were a complete family until you came into our lives, Ryder. It always felt like Ollie and me against the world. Now it’s the three of us, and that feels complete.”

  His eyes searched mine. “I want you to feel safe with me. I know you’re not used to trusting men. I wish there were a way for me to prove how serious I am about this. But only time will show my commitment. And I look forward to proving every day how much I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you or that boy. I would move mountains for you.”

  When it came to Ryder’s promises, I would soon discover moving mountains could be taken both figuratively and literally.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  * * *

  RYDER

  I hoped she didn’t think I was crazy. I’d been wracking my brain for the past few months, trying to figure out how to move Eden and Ollie to Los Angeles without majorly disrupting Ollie’s life.

  I’d figured out the education component. There was a prestigious school for the blind, The Larchmont School, about twenty minutes south of where I lived. I’d spoken to the headmaster, told her a bit about Ollie, and she seemed to think the school would be a good fit. They’d offer comparable services to what he was used to in St. George, as well as other programs he might never have had access to in Utah. Of course, there was a waiting list to get in, but if ever there was a time to use the McNamara name, that was it. She seemed willing to bend the rules and allow him a spot if we wanted it.

  However, there was still the issue of Ollie’s day-to-day situation at home. It had taken his whole life to know his house well enough to be pretty independent. I didn’t want him to have to start from scratch in my gigantic house.

  There was only one solution that made any sense to me, and I decided to throw it out there during dinner one weekend in St. George. Ollie was in his room. I didn’t want to bring it up in front of him and get his hopes up if Eden ended up dead set against it.

  Pushing aside my plate, I cleared my throat. “So, I was thinking…what if we physically move this house to L.A.?”

  Eden, who’d been drinking water, stopped mid-sip. “What? Move this house?”

  “You heard me right.”

  Her eyes were practically bugging out of her head. “Can you do that?”

  “Yes. People do it all of the time. It’s small enough to actually move. I measured it out and made some calls. I already own an empty lot that would be perfect. I was originally thinking of putting it on my main property, but it’s too hilly, and the movers wouldn’t be able to get the house up there.”

  Eden’s mouth hung open. “I don’t know what to say. I wouldn’t have thought this was even a possibility. That’s got to cost a fortune.”

  “Don’t worry about that. The peace of mind will be worth it. I can’t put a price on getting to have you guys with me, not having to travel back and forth.”

  “This is seriously doable?”

  “Yes. I’ve been talking to a lot of people this week about it. If you agree, I’m gonna have the moving company come out in a few days to take their own measurements and confirm before we mention it to Ollie. But I need your okay first. You’d have to really want to move. Talking about it is one thing, but doing it is another.”

  “You’re sure Ollie would be guaranteed a spot at The Larchmont School?”

  “Yes. The headmaster gave me her word on that. But you’ll need to talk to her, too—make sure you approve of it before we confirm.”

  She took a moment to ponder, then smiled. “This sounds a little nuts, but I love the idea of moving the house. It’s the last thing keeping us here.”

  My body filled with excitement at the prospect of having everything I needed and wanted in one place. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  Eden beamed. “You did say you’d move mountains for me. I guess this proves it.”

  ***

  Six months later, our dream became a reality. We ended up waiting for the school year to finish in St. George before we bit the bullet and moved our house all the way to California.

  It was quite a journey and took several days because the truck carrying the structure had to crawl on the highway.

  We’d apparently been the talk of the neighborhood as spectators lined up to watch while the workers settled the structure onto its new foundation.

  After that, it had taken some time before we could actually move in.

  Now that we were inside, Ollie kept pointing out how sometimes he would forget we’d moved at all, because everything was the same, aside from his school.

  Thankfully, he was loving his new teachers and slowly making friends. Eden and Ollie moving to L.A. was the best decision we could have made for ourselves—not only because Ollie was adapting well, but because Eden was finally moving on with her life, having just enrolled in the music program at Cal State. She’d decided what she wanted to do, which was to follow in her mother’s footsteps and become a music teacher. And while I was helping her with the tuition, she insisted on contributing, taking a waitressing job at a high-end restaurant. She was proud that she’d gotten it on her own, without my connections.

  I was still running the studio alongside Benjamin, and we’d made no plans to change that anytime soon. He’d given me a commitment of at least another year. I was still deciding whether I wanted to sell my shares or eventually run the company. I was so thankful Benjamin had given me the time to make that decision.

  Perhaps the biggest difference since Eden’s move was Lorena’s changing role in my day-to-day life. We’d determined that there was no better person to help us with Ollie while we worked—or in Eden’s case went to classes. Let’s face it, there wasn’t much housekeeping to do in our little place anyway, so Lorena became a trusted set of eyes we so desperately needed. She and Ollie got along well. He appreciated her humor, as I always had, and she was even teaching him Spanish.

  Having Lorena’s help also made it possible for Eden and me to have some semblance of a normal relationship—one that involved having sex in private and going out on actual dates. I still kept my bigger house, though the long-term plan was to sell it and build another house based on the layout Ollie was familiar with, except bigger. We would then take our time, allowing him to get used to it before we moved in.

  Hanging on to the big house came in handy, though, because Eden and I would sneak over there at night while Lorena stayed with Ollie as he slept. We would frolic in the pool, have sex in the shower as loudly as we wanted, and do whatever we damn well pleased. Afterward, we’d head home to be there when Ollie woke up in the morning.

  ***

  A little while after the move, one of our favorite ways to spend a sunny weekend became taking a ride out west to Malibu with a cooler full of food and drinks.

  Eden and I were alone in our room, getting ready to spend the day at the beach with Ollie on one such afternoon when I brought up something that had been weighing on my mind.

  “Have you given any more thought to what the doctor said?” I asked.

  Eden put down the beach blanket she’d been folding and bit her bottom lip. “We can bring it up today, if you want. You know how I feel about this. I’ve always believed anything like that should be his choice with no pressure.”

  “You’re right. There’s no sense in even thinking about it further if we haven’t talked it over with him.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I love you for wanting to look into it.”

  “I’d do anything for you and him. You know that. I don’t want him to ever feel like I didn’t do enough when I could’ve helped.”

  When we arrived in Malibu, it was shaping up to be the perfect beach day—not a cloud in the sky and just the right amount of current. The ocean had become Ollie’s favorite place—the relaxing sounds of the waves, the feel of the water, and the texture of the sand. It was sensory overload. It was therefore an ironic place to broac
h the subject we were about to put forth.

  Ollie and I had just come back to the shore to have lunch. As we sat down on the beach blanket, I looked over at Eden before I addressed him, “Can I talk to you about something?”

  “You don’t usually ask me permission.”

  “You’re right. But this is important.”

  He shrugged. “Okay.”

  Eden moved in closer to sit next to him and placed her hand on his leg. I took in some of the salty air before I started talking.

  “I feel guilty sometimes that you can’t see the things we can, even though I know you don’t feel like you’re missing out because not seeing is all you know. I sometimes have to stop myself and understand that your experiences, while not the same as ours, are not necessarily less. They’re just different. But because we care so much about you, I want to make sure I do everything in my power to help you live your best life. I feel like that’s my responsibility, my calling.”

  Eden unwrapped a sandwich and handed it to him. He took a bite and ate quietly while I continued.

  “So, I went to speak to a doctor, a world-renowned eye specialist, one my mother used to see, actually. Eden came with me, and we took all of your medical records. He let us know that there are some experimental surgeries available now that weren’t around when you were younger. He said we might be able to look into some of those if you were ever interested. Nothing would be guaranteed, but if they could help you see, even a little…”

  The breeze blew Ollie’s longish hair around. He stopped chewing and opened his eyes. I suspected he was stressed.

  “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, Ollie,” I said.

  “No, I’m listening,” he answered.

  “I never want you to misinterpret why I looked into this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are. I want to make that clear. I’m not looking to fix you in any way. I just want you to know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do and no amount of money I wouldn’t pay to try to help you see if you decided you wanted to take that chance.”

  After some silence, he asked, “What else did the doctor say?”

  “He said he didn’t think it would be possible for you to see fully, but that one of these experimental surgeries might allow you some limited vision—like seeing shadows and movements, things like that. He said we couldn’t expect a miracle, and there was also a chance that even if you qualified for the surgeries and went through with one or more of them, they might not work at all. So there would be a lot to consider. You by no means have to make any kind of a decision right now. I’m just throwing it out there.”

  “Okay,” he said.

  “I’m not gonna say anything else, because this day is supposed to be about relaxing and enjoying the beach. I’ll always be looking out for you in any way I can.”

  He nodded. “Because you’re my brad.”

  Brad?

  “Your what?”

  “Like my brother and my dad. Brother-dad—brad.”

  My mouth curved into a smile. “I’ve never heard you say that before. Is that what you call me?”

  “It is now…if you want.”

  I could feel my eyes starting to well up. “Of course, I want to be your brad. I love it. I think it’s the perfect name.”

  He took another bite, then spoke with his mouth full. “Me, too.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  * * *

  EDEN

  Ryder seemed really anxious tonight, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’d gotten a rare night off from waitressing, and he’d brought me to one of his favorite restaurants in downtown L.A., but he was really aggravated when the table he’d reserved wasn’t ready when we arrived.

  “What the fuck good is calling ahead if you have to wait?”

  “It’s okay, baby,” I said, rubbing his back.

  Nothing calmed him. “No, it’s not.”

  We’d been particularly busy lately, and it had been a while since we’d gone out to eat alone. With my busy school schedule and work, most of our spare time was spent hanging out with Ollie.

  As frustrated as he was, I couldn’t help thinking how handsome he looked in his fitted navy sweater and dark jeans that hugged his ass. He smelled particularly delicious, and the truth of the matter was that I’d much rather have spent this time alone at the big house, screwing his brains out. But he was insistent that we go out tonight.

  If I thought Ryder’s mood couldn’t get any worse, I was wrong.

  A man and woman approached us.

  “Hey, Ryder.”

  “Phil…good to see you.”

  They shook hands, and the guy’s lady friend stood just behind him, smiling.

  The man gestured to her. “This is my wife, Helena.”

  She nodded once and glanced over at me. “Nice to meet you.”

  Ryder pulled me close. “This is my girlfriend, Eden.”

  Phil squinted and tilted his head as he looked me over. “Are you an actress?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Really? You look awfully familiar.”

  “Nope, never been an actress.” My pulse started to race as I became a bit paranoid.

  Phil was insistent. “Are you sure? I could swear I’ve seen you on camera.”

  Ryder’s eyes darted toward him and lingered in a murderous stare.

  Shit.

  No.

  Could he recognize me?

  Anything was possible. I’d worked for two years as a cam girl through a popular site that got millions of hits. This guy having caught one of my shows was not out of the realm of possibility.

  “Have a good night,” Ryder suddenly said, ushering me away from them.

  “What are you doing?” I asked as we headed out the door.

  “We’re getting the fuck out of here.”

  When the cool night air hit us, I turned to him. “Do you think he recognized me from the site?”

  “I have no clue. But I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

  Gripping his sweater, I brought him into me. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” He looked at me intensely. “None of this is okay. Waiting all night for a table, the way he was fucking you with his eyes—none of it.”

  He’s pissed.

  “None of those things matter to me,” I soothed. “I’m just happy to be out with you, so happy to finally be in L.A. and for the life you’ve given me here. I’m so happy, Ryder, that none of these little aggravations matter. So please be happy with me tonight.”

  “I am happy. I’m so freaking happy I don’t even know if I deserve it sometimes.”

  He dropped to one knee and looked up at me.

  My heart pitter-pattered. “What are you doing?”

  “I wanted tonight to be perfect. I really did. I had this elaborate plan, and it involved the perfect dinner and the perfect evening. The perfect timing. Everything was going to be perfect. But you know, nothing has ever worked out perfectly at first when it comes to us. But that doesn’t matter, because damn it, we’re perfect together. Things don’t have to be perfect as long as I have you. You and Ollie are why I get up each morning. You’ve made me realize I could never be happy before because I was looking for happiness in all of the wrong places: my career, my social status. None of that shit matters. All that matters is having people in your world you love more than anything, who give you a reason to live. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Eden. Will you marry me?”

  I covered my mouth and jumped around in excitement. “Yes! Of course! Yes! Yes!”

  The sounds of the city seemed to fade as Ryder stood and placed a gorgeous round diamond ring on my finger before lifting me into his arms.

  He spoke into my ear. “I feel like I totally fucked up that proposal, but I don’t even care because you said yes.”

  “It could have been so much worse.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, you could have done it logged in as AssLover or something.
”

  “That’s true. Very true.”

  ***

  Ollie has always been afraid to fly. So when Ryder suggested we travel to New York City to get married, I was hesitant, knowing how much anxiety that would create for my brother.

  But Ollie eventually agreed, because quite frankly, Ryder could convince him to do anything.

  When it came time for our flight, I watched as Ryder held my brother’s hand and gave him a play by play of what was happening. As the plane ascended, Ollie looked terrified, feeling the swift motion. But by the end of the flight, he had a huge smile on his face. I was proud of him for overcoming his fear.

  Lorena had accompanied us to New York, and the four of us spent an action-packed several days touring the city and eating our way through the neighborhoods with the best food.

  The week culminated in a private wedding ceremony at City Hall, followed by dinner at Tavern on the Green. It was exactly the type of affair we wanted—intimate, yet full of love and laughter from the people we held closest to our hearts.

  Ryder had a special surprise up his sleeve for Ollie on the very last day of our trip. He’d rented a car and we’d just dropped Lorena off at the airport. She had to get back a day early for a baby shower.

  We were driving down the expressway when Ollie asked, “Why are we leaving the city, and why won’t you tell me where we’re going?”

  I turned around from the passenger seat. “It’s a surprise.”

  “I don’t like surprises.”

  “I think you’ll like this one,” I said.

  Ryder looked over at me and smiled. Oddly, the entire timing of our wedding and New York trip had been planned around this one last thing.