The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  “Sorry,” He chuckles with a mouth full of food, he picks up his napkin and wipes it away. “Gone?”

  I nod.

  “Sorry, there’s no airs and graces with me,” He grins and continues demolishing the food.

  I throw my fork onto the plate with a ‘clink’ I am so full it actually hurts my stomach. I have to readjust my seated position it hurts way too much. I move myself forward so I can slide myself down but before I have any warning the biggest manly belch escapes my mouth.

  I throw my hands over my mouth in horror, devil girl is making a noose ready to end the torture and angel girl is in prayer position.

  I look up and release my hands from my mouth to utter, “I am so sorry, I didn’t know I was going to…I moved and that must have….I am so sorry.”

  Tell you what, I say to myself hanging my head in shame, let’s go take a nice long walk off a very short pier!

  Trey is laughing, “You stole my line.”

  For the first time all day I feel properly relaxed and I can feel myself start to let go, just a little bit.

  “It’s a sign”

  “Of?” I shift in my chair still trying to relieve the pressure in my stomach.

  “You’re relaxed.”

  “Well I’m just glad I haven’t relaxed myself too much.”

  He raises his eyebrow again this time questioning me but the duo are both on bended knee begging me not to say anything about bodily functions – I agree now is not the time.

  “Never mind.”

  I pick up my drink and finish it off, then signal the waiter for two more. Trey leans forward and as he’s about to speak Brendan’s voice is the only thing that can be heard throughout the restaurant.

  “Pascal, is she ok?”

  Brendan comes running into the restaurant following Pascal’s lead, “For god’s sake girl you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

  He reaches me and lifts me clean off my chair into his secure loving hold and then he glances me over, immediately he then corrects his stance, resuming the professional hotel manager. Brendan then grabs the lapels of his suit jacket and smooth’s himself out.

  “I’m ok, honestly.” I sit myself back into my chair, I think he’s more surprised by his emotional outburst then me.

  “Ellie, what have I told you about going outside at night alone? We’re not in England now, New York is a big city!”

  “Yes I know but I am ok, Trey came and well, he saved me”

  Brendan looks to Trey and grabs his hand to shake.

  “Of course Mr. Thomas thank you. I’m so sorry if my niece,” he throws a glance at me, “has got you caught up in any trouble.”

  Wait one minute, you’re hugging me and now it’s my fault?

  “No, no, she had no idea. I just saw him follow her, she was innocent in all of this.”

  “Hmmm,” Brendan turns to me.

  I snap, “Check the CCTV Brendan by all means.”

  “Ellie, I promised I’d look after you and you’re not making it easy,” Brendan tightens his tie and he then turns to Trey.

  “Mr. Thomas your stay here at Valentines will be free of charge,” Looking around he continues, “I am of the understanding there may have been some punches thrown in self-defense.”

  “Of course Mr. Jones.”

  “We shall deal with any issues in house,” Brendan sighs, “I am going to sort this out with Earl.”

  He turns to me, “Do not leave the hotel again tonight!”

  Brendan leaves and I hold my beer staring down into it. Get a grip woman you’ve got the most attractive man, who is way out of your league, at your table – stop moping.

  I down the beer and look to Trey, he’s staring at me with a puzzled look on his face.

  “You don’t have to stay ,I’ll be ok,” I say, surely he wants to run a mile now he’s been more than gentlemanly.

  Trey glances over at a table and nods, “That’s Michael, great bloke and the best bodyguard I’ve had.”

  The kind voice from earlier has a face? I turn to see the shaved headed man and smile, he returns my smile and nods, he really is a lot younger than I thought he would be. He looks to be in his early thirties.

  I turn back to Trey and he leans in once more, “I’m no angel but I wouldn’t leave you now, besides how can the hero leave not knowing anything about the damsel he has saved?”

  I laugh, “There’s not much to know I’m afraid,” I lie.

  Oh no, this is where it begins, he’ll start asking all manner of questions and I can’t answer them.

  “So the manager is your uncle?”

  Oh an easy one, “Yep.”

  “And you live?”

  Right getting harder, “Here, with my uncle.”

  I start to trace the edge of the watch glass on my bangle surely he can tell how uncomfortable I’m getting.

  “You don’t give much away do you?”

  “Like I said there really isn’t too much to tell.”

  “Everyone has a story and well, I would really like to know more about you.”

  I grab my drink and start to down it, it’s my newfound bravery, a kind of armor if you like. Much more alcohol and I can officially admit I may have a problem.

  “Ok,” By George, I think it may be working.

  “So where abouts in England are you from?”

  “I’m from Surrey and so is Brendan, he moved here about 25 years ago to help run this place, he got married and they had my cousin Meagan – who you spoke to earlier.” See, now I’ve allowed myself too much bravery. I’m offering way too much information.

  “Ah yes, very friendly girl,” he shifts in his chair so I have his undivided attention, the twinkle is back in his eye.

  “That she is, anyway I moved over here nine months ago. Mr. Valentine, the owner of this place gave me a job as Event’s Organiser. I’ll admit I didn’t have a clue what the hell I was doing but it’s easy enough. Uncle Brendan has a three bed apartment and I live there in the staff quarters with him.”

  Well, he didn’t ask me half of what I’ve told him, fingers crossed that’ll keep him satisfied.

  Trey nods in acknowledgement, “That would explain how all the staff know you and obviously care for you very much.”

  “I didn’t start work for like 3 weeks when I came over, so I worked for all of them doing what I could as they were really busy. To be honest I needed something to do because there is only so much tanning me and my pasty complexion can handle.”

  He smirks and places his drink back on the table, “Why did you leave?”

  “Where, England?” Oh crap! The duo are back again both begging me to keep schtum. Its ok, I’ve had this drummed into me enough by now - no amount of drink will allow me to forget my lines, this appeases them.

  “Well, I was working as an administrator for a private psychiatric clinic, I was admin to the head psychiatrist,” I feel like I have a massive rock in my throat and it hurts to swallow, “erm….a job opportunity arose here and it seemed the right thing to do.”

  Shit I just contradicted myself majorly, oh please do not let him unpick the seams of my story. My eyes are wide - how can I slip up so easily? I’ve told the story time and time again with no problem, what is it about this man that makes me so panicky?

  I reach for my glass to drink but it’s empty. Trey signals to the waiter for another round, we’ll be lucky to get anymore. They are trying to close up.

  Change the subject Ellie, “So Mr. Thomas, what about you?”

  “What would you like to know?”

  “Why are you staying here?”

  “Well, we’ve been doing the interviews, press releases and all the crap that comes with a new film release. It’s all really monotonous and blah blah. I don’t live too far from here. Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Damn my face gave away my thoughts, “It’s just you don’t act like a big shot movie star.”

  “How should I act?” he eases back into his chair, with one arm p
ropped on the arm, he rests his chin on his hand.

  Touché Mr. Thomas.

  “I don’t know really. I don’t generally hang out with A-list celebrities which is pretty obvious. The closest I’ve got to a star is – whoever was acting in the local panto back home and they would sign autographs at the stage door.”

  Amusement streaks across his beautiful bitable mouth, “Did you expect a diva?”

  I shrug, “Guess so. I thought there’d be women throwing themselves at your feet and I certainly didn’t expect you to be sitting here with plain Jane.”

  “Well not to disappoint but I only had one very attractive woman fall at my feet today.”

  Oh great, that’s it, bring me down...oh wait, is he referring to me?

  “Yes I am talking about you,” he winks. Whoa seriously freaky!

  “If I remember correctly, it is you who knocked me to your feet.”

  Trey laughs, “I could say the same about you. You don’t act like I’m a star.”

  I tuck my hair behind my ear and look down at my bangle, how the hell do I admit I am probably the only person on the planet who didn’t have a clue as to who he was.

  I look at him and he is grinning so wildly, “You didn’t actually know who I was, did you?”

  Ok, am I thinking out loud here, I have a tendency to do that sometimes but this is just proper scary. Ok, I’m going to have to test his ability in a second.

  “No. I am so sorry I didn’t go to the cinema much back home,” I take hold of another drink, which came from…I don’t know where. I drink the beer and continue, “Anyway I prefer horror movies.” Ha, yeah, that’s left you stumped.

  “Aaaah, there’s the witty girl I met this morning. I am really glad she’s put an appearance in. I forgot to ask, how’s the nose?”

  I laugh and try to stifle a yawn.

  “Am I boring you?

  “No, no. As you well know I’ve had a very long day. My nose is fine now though,” Oh my, I think my heart has just melted, I feel so much more relaxed around him now. “So you said you don’t live far from here?”

  “Yeah well after the interviews – which can take up whole days, I had some friends I wanted to see. I have to say I’m glad I did go see them, else I wouldn’t have got to knock you off your feet.”

  I blush. He’s glad he met me? This really must be a dream, right? Devil girl is shaking her head and high fiving angel girl.

  “To save journeying I decided to stay here, tonight is my last night.” I think a look of disappointment flushes across his face.

  “Well, like you said, you don’t live far from here.”

  Whoa, who just found her balls and flirted openly? Go me!

  “This is true,” he smiles. “I have to say Ellie, I have never met anyone like you, in the two or so hours we’ve been sitting here, I’ve never really felt this comfortable around anyone.”

  Trey’s phone starts to ring.

  “Excuse me, I won’t be a minute,” he excuses himself and walks away from the table.

  I take a deep breath and a thought flits through my mind, I really should go and thank Michael for his help. I get up from the table and approach the bar where the waiter is obviously waiting to lock up. Ouch my feet are killing me.

  “What’s he been drinking?” I ask pointing at Michael.

  “Coffee, Ma’am.”

  “Ok great, can I have a coffee and then we won’t need any more drinks.”

  Before I can scratch my head the coffee is in front of me, why can’t they be this quick first thing?

  I gingerly walk towards the skin-headed body builder type man sitting on his own, I am shaking like a leaf and I really need to calm myself down or I’ll tip this on his head.

  Michael is transfixed on Trey and his every move but I guess that’s a sign of a good bodyguard. I approach his table, “I’m so sorry to disturb you. Michael right?”

  He looks at me briefly, smiles and nods.

  “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me earlier,” I’m going red – stop it now! “Got you a drink to say thanks – coffee.”

  I place it on the table and slide it towards him.

  “Honestly there was no need, I was just doing my job, but thank you for the coffee.” He shakes his head, “He was a nasty son of a bitch.”

  He takes the coffee and sips returning his gaze back to Trey. His voice seems so old compared to how old he looks, he looks back at me, “Are you ok though? Did he hurt you?”

  I rub my wrists, “I’m good, considering, just tired and sore.” Before I finish speaking he’s back staring at Trey – I must be distracting him.

  “Well, I’ll leave you to it, but thank you again.”

  “You’re welcome and thanks for the coffee.”

  I walk back to the table where Trey is finishing on the phone, I lean against the chair as my feet start to really throb. I lean one hand on the back of the chair and unzip my shoeboot.

  I step down and lift the other foot to start the process again.

  “Please, let me.” Trey is off the phone and on bended knee at my feet, he lowers my raised foot back to the ground. He slowly unzips the shoe, holding the back of my calf, he raises my foot out of the shoe and places my foot back on the ground. Trey then looks up at me with his hand still on my calf, he slowly slides his hand up to the back of my knee. My skin is so sensitive it sends shivers through my body and I start to breathe deeper, he slowly looks back down to where his hand is and then he gently slides up to my inner thigh. Trey’s hand stops when he reaches the edge of my dress and he doesn’t go any higher. My breathing is now so erratic and I can’t help but bite my lip as I look down at him caressing my leg. I’m growing warm all over and I want him. I really want him right now, but even without the duo’s divine intervention, I know myself that I’m not ready.

  I take his hand from my thigh and hold it tight as I bend down to meet his gaze, eye to eye with this person, the world and his wife want. I hold his gaze trying to control my breathing and whisper, “I think I should go.”

  “You really are beautiful,” he leans into my ear and whispers, “I want to be inside you.”

  Chapter Five

  I gasp and go weak at the knees, oh please don’t do this I want to - Lord knows I do. My devil is on her knees begging me to indulge and angel is looking up over her glasses shaking her head.

  “I’m sorry, too much beer.” He stands and drags his hands down his face to bring himself back, “Come, I’ll walk you back.” He readjusts his trousers, then takes my hand and lifts me to my feet.

  We walk slowly through the restaurant. He is still holding my hand and our fingers are interlocked. I feel so giddy with excitement that this beautiful man wants me in so many ways after a brief encounter but at the same time I feel safe and I like it a lot. We pass through to the lobby in silence, Trey presses the button to call the lift and I feel Michael’s presence behind us. The current running through our connection is pinning me in place and it has rendered me mute.

  “I’ll meet you at the room in five,” Trey doesn’t even look at Michael, I turn to see Michael and he smiles at me. It’s such a warming smile, one where nothing need be said - the smile says it all – ‘you’re welcome’ - he then nods and leaves for the stairs.

  The carriage arrives and Trey steps in leading me in his shadow - still we say nothing, I want to break the silence - I hate the silence but I can’t think of a damn thing to say. Why now when I feel so safe has my duo left me? I manage to muster up the strength and push the button for my floor, it must have been that movement because now my wrist is really starting to sting. I break my other hand away from his and move my bangle round to try and soothe the pain.

  “It’s a beautiful bracelet.”

  “Thank you, my mum gave it to me for my 21st.”

  “She has nice taste,” he leans against the lift wall facing me, “how come she didn’t move with you?”

  I run my fingers over the pattern on the bracelet, “She
died three years ago.”

  “Wow, I am really sorry.”

  “Thank you.” I start to rub my wrist again

  The lift arrives at the floor and the door opens, Trey takes my hand and leads me out, “It’s this way,” I tilt my head in the direction and we walk.

  “I’m really glad I met you, you know? After all that’s happened its turned out to be an eventful evening.” He smiles and rubs the back of his neck.

  “Me too, this will be a story to remember for a long time, the night the movie star saved me.”

  We reach my door and I get out my key card and swipe it so the door unlocks. I am smiling like a child the whole time I’m faced away from him but the thought of not seeing him again fills me with a gut wrenching sadness.

  With my hip propping the door open ajar I turn to him, “Thank you for everything.” I fumble with my purse – awkward moment - just go in, turn around and go in.

  Trey takes my hand, “Why does this feel like goodbye? I don’t think I want it to be.”

  I sigh, “I guess it is goodbye, you’re from a whole different world to me. Once you leave tomorrow you’ll forget me, the next time I see you will be on the TV or in a magazine. Like I said it’s a story to remember.”

  “But I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”

  Its true and it hurts but the reality is I am Jane Doe; I am no one in comparison. Even without the duo giving me a split argument as to why I should - this could never work, why at a time like this am I being left to make my own choice? For a year now I’ve had these two to help me over think things where are they now?

  “I really don’t want to say goodbye, not yet.”

  He clasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts my head back so our eyes once again meet.

  “There’s something about you, I know you’re right but still,” his eyes are begging mine.

  “Why start something we can’t finish?”

  He releases my chin and runs both his hands through his hair and grabs the back of his neck, I stand up onto tiptoe and lay a soft kiss on his cheek. Trey takes a sharp inhale of breath as if I’ve just given him an electric shock, “Thank you again for saving me and walking me to my room.”