The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  He looks at me dumbstruck then with a whisper says, “It was,” he clears his throat, “It was my pleasure.”

  I really have to walk away now or this is going to string out into some sort of awkward moment, more awkward than it already is. He takes my right hand, making me flinch but I let him hold it, he looks at our hands as if he’s contemplating not letting them go, “Good night Ellie.”

  He kisses the back of my hand and turns to walk away.

  “Goodnight Trey.”

  I turn into my door, slowly close it behind me and press my forehead onto the door. The first genuinely kind person that has made me feel safe in ages and I have just sent him packing. I didn’t even kiss him properly. I turn and lean my back against the door and hold my head in my hands, the duo have appeared and they are both moaning ‘she could’ve at least kissed him’.

  I lift my head and start to walk away when there is a light tapping at the door. Without double guessing what to do I spin around and open the door. Standing with an arm either side of the doorframe is Trey, just stood there with his head hanging down. Oh no what’s wrong? Is this where they all jump out, all the actors and all the cameras? You’ve been royally screwed over or whatever reality program it is. Trey looks up and before I can speak, his hands are either side of my face, pulling me into him and his lips are on mine. He’s kissing me, what the hell!

  I slowly close my eyes and succumb to him, his lips are so soft against mine and his tongue is in my mouth searching for mine, they meet and they entwine and the feeling when they clash sends explosions throughout my body. His hands are caressing my head and his fingers grasp at my hair pulling me further into him.

  My body is turning to jelly, I am utterly lost in the moment and every inch of my body becomes hot as our bodies move and our tongues desperately caress each other. I lift my hands to his chest and lay them gently in place and his breathing becomes deeper and more erratic. Slowly Trey releases my head and our lips part, my eyes are still closed and my mouth still open, my chest is heaving as I fight to catch my breath. He leans his forehead onto mine, I close my mouth and now I can taste him it’s an amazing mix of beer and burger sauce. I love it.

  “Wow!” That’s all I can muster.

  “You stole my line again,” Trey laughs, he too, is struggling to calm himself and catch his breath.

  I laugh and open my eyes to see him looking into mine, almost searching the depths of my soul.

  “That was unexpected.”

  “Well, at least now our story can end like this,” he smiles, “the hero got to kiss the damsel in the end.”

  I feel the heat of embarrassment washing over me.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way but well I hope I get to rescue you again one day.”

  “I hope so too,” I whisper.

  “Goodnight Ellie, I am really pleased to have met you.”

  He leans in and plants a tender kiss on my lips, it feels like its left a burning imprint; I reach up and stroke the spot where he kissed with my finger.

  “Night,” I smile with an ear to ear jaw-deadening grin as he walks away. I once again turn in and close the door behind me. The smile is beginning to hurt my face, I can feel the pain coming from my jaw muscles.

  “Was that who I think it was?” Meagan comes running out of the spare room into the living room to see me standing with my back to the door. I smile at her, I can’t hide it - I am so happy she takes my smile as a ‘yes, you’re right’ and she screams.

  “Ellie! Oh my – What happened? I’ve been waiting up for you, five minutes you said.”

  “Well you seem to have sobered up, come to my room and I’ll explain everything while I get changed.”

  We walk through to my room, which is off the lounge, I start taking my makeup off and explain to Meagan everything that went on. Meagan follows from bedroom to bathroom so she doesn’t miss a detail. She stands with me while I pee, her mouth open in shock from the story I am reliving for her. I wash my hands and brush my teeth and she’s in the mirror with me every step. We walk back into my bedroom and she climbs into my bed with me, Meagan lays her head on the pillow and listens intently as I continue with my story. I feel as if I am telling a small child a fairytale and I have their undivided attention. For as long as I can remember this is the longest amount of time Meagan has stayed quiet and just listened.

  Meagan yawns and turns to me, “I am so sorry, I should never have given your number to Guy.”

  “Well, if you hadn’t this evening could have turned out very differently indeed.”

  “I’ve missed you.”

  I laugh, “I was only gone a couple of hours.”

  “No, this you – the old you. I knew she was still in there somewhere. I haven’t seen you this happy since your 21st.”

  “Go to sleep you’re delirious.”

  “Just,” Meagan yawns again, “Just you wait till I tell all my friends you kissed Trey Thomas, they’ll all be so jealous.”

  With that Meagan turns over and is snoring within seconds. I, on the other hand, am buzzing from all the action of tonight, this grin is starting to really hurt. I must look like the joker. The events flash back through my mind as I lay and stare at the ceiling, eventually I turn on my side and close my eyes to dream it in full for the hundredth time and slowly I begin to drift off.

  I awake with a start to screams and giggles, the sun is bright and some idiot has opened the curtains. Still not even a cup of water in the face could ruin my mood today. The shrieks sound again.

  “What the hell is that?” I groan, burying my face under my pillow.

  Slowly I drag myself out of bed and walk through the living room to the kitchen, still wiping my eyes whilst modeling my pink pyjama trousers, vest top and seriously knotty bed hair.

  I walk into the kitchen and head straight for the coffee machine. Leaning on the counter I yawn and attempt to run my fingers through the mass of knots my hair has become. Damn it, I knew I should have brushed it out last night before falling asleep.

  “Here she is,” Meagan calls sarcastically from the table behind me.

  I turn to look at her and Lacey, who in turn are staring at me all wide eyed with anticipation, just waiting for me to say something.

  “Morning,” I mutter and turn straight back to the coffee machine. I pour myself a fresh cup and the smell is divine, I take a few scorching sips and it wakes me instantly.

  “Morning back at you! So Jones, I hear we missed a lot last night.” Lacey’s voice is shaky.

  I turn to look at her, “Ouch, you sound rough, mind you after the way you were last night – to be expected!”

  “Shut it Jones,” she grabs her head in pain. “So, are we going to be your entourage? I can see myself in some of the magazines wearing next season’s fashion. Oh no, the next big thing as seen on Miss Lacey Miller whilst shopping on sunset boulevard.”

  Meagan squeals with excitement and Lacey grabs her head again, I nearly spill my coffee as I sit at the table.

  “Wait, I can see it now, the celebrity wedding and we’re the bridesmaids, front cover and ten page spread!”

  Meagan claps her hands together, talk about running away with themselves, we kissed once, once!

  I fold my arms and just sit back and phase out as they giggle with over-excitement about things that are never ever going to happen.

  “Look,” I interrupt and grab a slice of toast from the table, “Meagan I told you last night it was a one night thing, he’s a bloody film star. It’s not like we’ll ever meet again.”

  I smile inwardly as I start to nibble on the cold toast, I glance at the door and smile again as I remember little snippets of the evening before.

  “I cannot believe you kissed Trey Thomas, like seriously you kissed Trey Thomas.”

  “Well, actually he kissed me.”

  Yeah that’s right Meagan, he kissed me, my smile grows again.

  “You are one lucky bitch,” Lacey groans with the hint of a smile.

&n
bsp; “Well it all just feels like an amazing dream to me so let’s leave it that way. Right, what are you lot doing with your Sunday?”

  “I’ve got some work due in tomorrow, so looks like I’ll be pulling an all-nighter,” Lacey frowns.

  “Well, I am off with mom to go see George, he’s being discharged from hospital next week. Hey, come with us if you want, George would love to see you.”

  George is Meagan’s uncle and he was injured in action three months ago but he’s recovered now, thankfully he wasn’t hurt too bad, just a few broken bones.

  “That’s great that he’s being discharged, give him a hug and a kiss from me. I arranged days ago to go shopping and to a suit fitting with Lucas, for some reason he will not go alone to see this bloke.”

  I look at the time and its 11:30am, “Shit, I’m being picked up at midday, I’ll have to see you both later.” I jump up from my chair and grab another piece of toast, waving to the girls, I make my way to my room.

  After a quick shower I have just enough time to sling on my ‘’boyfriend jeans and an old faithful white off the shoulder jumper with miniature birds printed on it. I don’t do fashion I do comfort, so I put on my timberlands and tie them up then rifle through my drawer for a white bangle to match the jumper. I look at the clock and its 11:50am, I don’t have time to sort my hair into anything other then a high ponytail, it’s just too wet and too long for me to make extra effort. Right slap on some mascara and brush the fringe…I may look ten years younger than my age but fifteen was a good age, so it suits me for today. I grab my cardigan and bag and run out the door.

  I reach the lobby and I can see Lucas waiting outside in his old rusted, white convertible Hummer that looks like it went on tour with George - every time I get in his car I can’t help but say a little prayer behind closed eyes, that we’ll make it to our destination.

  “You’re late Doll,” Lucas shouts, as I throw my bag in the back and climb in.

  “Sorry, was a late one last night,” Earlier I had made a conscious decision not to fill him in on the details, as Lucas will only pull the surrogate big brother routine.

  My door is barely shut and we’re off, his foot is to the floor. ‘No win, No fee’ is all I can think - that and thank goodness I tied my hair up.

  After four hours of shopping and looking at shows around Time Square, we make it just in time for Lucas’s suit fitting at ‘Lorenzo’s’.

  We pull up outside the shop, which is situated in the Meat packing district, it’s a door sandwiched between a rentals store and an art studio of some kind. The front door looks like it’s in desperate need of a lick of paint and, as I look up, I see a huge neon sign saying ‘Lorenzo’s’ with a hand and needle moving to look like its sewing.

  “Classy,” I whisper, more to myself than for anyone to hear.

  “It’s nicer once you’re through the door.”

  “I’m sure it is,” I mutter, “You do know the murderer is always out when they knock at doors like this on movies, then you go inside and find the decapitated bodies of loved ones all over the place.”

  “Well, you’re in a fine mood!”

  “I’m sorry but I still can’t believe that after four hours of shopping all you bought is a shirt, a tie and got three, no four telephone numbers. Also, let’s not forget the shag in the changing room.”

  “Who says I got a shag?”

  “I don’t know anyone who takes half an hour to try on one shirt with the assistants help.”

  “Ah yes, the lovely Laurine,” Lucas grins wickedly, “with hair the colour of the sun kissing the sea at dusk.”

  “It’s called ginger, no need to go all poetic about it.”

  “Call it what you want, she was insatiable.”

  “Slag,” I lean over and punch him in the arm.

  “Oh is this the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head?” He leans in close pretending to come on to me.

  I lean in closer, there’s less than hairsbreadth between our lips.

  “Oh Mr Perez, I know exactly where you’ve been,” I scrunch up my face and feign disgust.

  Laughing Lucas retreats and climbs out of the car, “You’re too nice for my liking Ellie, I couldn’t ruin you.”

  He walks around to my side and opens the door for me.

  “Why so gentlemanly?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well earlier, you got out of the car and ran off so quick I had to put money in the meter!”

  “Oh yeah I did,” he thinks for a second, “What can I say, you bring out the best in me.”

  I climb out of the car, “Obviously not all the time.” I close the car door and look at the door we’re about to enter. “So you’ve been here before?”

  “Once, normally a girl comes to the club and measures me, goes away and a few days later I have my suits. For some reason the girl hasn’t been and much to Jerry’s anger I’ve had to come here, I am not coming alone ever again.”

  “Ok,” I realise what he’s just said, “Wait what? Why not alone?”

  “Nothing has happened but there are stories about Lorenzo, he’s lovely when you meet him but I have been warned not to bare too much to him. I’m sure its nothing but the whispers along the vine is something to do with cameras and something to do with something behind the curtains in the studio.”

  “Ha! You could have a dirty movie out to boost your career into the mainstream not just Jerry’s dodgy night club. Intriguing, well let’s go get this over and done with because I’m starving.”

  “Watch it Doll, it’s not a dodgy club! Well not since the police made him clean it up.”

  I look over the road and see a diner, a bright red canopy hangs above the door saying ‘Bagels to go’ and window boxes full of flowers make it look so inviting.

  “I am so hungry Lucas.”

  “Don’t worry, as soon as I’m fitted, we’ll go and eat,” Lucas takes my hand and leads me through the door. We walk up the narrow, dingily lit staircase and come to a metal door at the top. I look at the walls which look like they have suffered some kind of water damage or mould and, in parts, the paper is hanging off.

  “Thought you said it was better inside?”

  “I said once you’re through the door. This door.” Lucas presses a buzzer and we wait for the door to open. There’s no handle on the door this side, it’s a solid heavy steel door and all it has is a keyhole and a spy hole which makes me wonder who are they trying to keep out, or in?

  Seconds later the door opens. It’s that heavy I can hear the squeak from the hinges and the crunching from the drag on the floor, there are wear marks from where the door drags along it.

  We step into a massive room which spans this shop and the two either side, I swear we have stepped into the Tardis. It’s massive in here. The floor is marble white all the way as far as the eye can see and there are black shelves that reach from floor to ceiling running the length of the right and left walls. They seem to house all manor of shirts, trousers and materials. We walk a few steps in and in front of me is a massive glass coffee table that has material strewn across it and uplighters set under the glass making the material look opaque.

  “Please, excuse the mess,” a little Italian looking man walks up to greet Lucas.

  I was kind of expecting a full on Italian accent but I am sadly disappointed. I would guess he probably moved to New York a very long time ago or he was raised here. Lorenzo hangs his tape measure around his neck so it blends in with his grey chunky knit cardigan, which hangs just below his waist but goes well with his brown cords.

  “Lucas, on time as usual.”

  “Hey Lorenzo,” they shake hands, “This is my friend, she’s come to see a master at work. Just so you’re aware, I have to leave here by six - I have a set at nine.

  “Please, come in Ellie,” He holds out his hand to shake.

  I look at Lucas puzzled, how the hell does he know my name?

  “Come, come.” Lorenzo keeps hold of me and leads me through t
he shop.

  “What’s up?” Lucas whispers in my ear as we walk.

  We head towards the far end where there are three cream leather sofas and a huge fur rug in air force blue. The wall at the end is the only one with colour and that matches the rug. I sit on the sofa and Lorenzo lets go of my hand and starts to sort out material that is piled high on the sofa next to me.

  “Please help yourself to magazines and there is a coffee machine in the kitchen should you want a drink.”

  “How does he know my name?” I mouth at Lucas

  Chapter Six

  “I introduced you didn’t I?”

  I shake my head at him

  “I must’ve mentioned you the last time I came.”

  I nod. Lucas must have said something…. I still feel uneasy though.

  Lorenzo smiles pleasantly at me and leads Lucas to the left of the blue wall where there is a changing room.

  This place is amazing. Why is it so hidden? Actually come to think of it, I look around, there are no windows at all in here, not even a sky light. The ceiling is covered in thousands of spotlights that give a daylight effect and it still has that warm feeling whilst being ultra modern.

  “We won’t be long Ellie, go grab a drink,” Lucas shouts from behind the curtain of the changing room.

  I stand but feel really naughty for having my shoes on this amazingly clean rug. So I tiptoe off the rug and head towards the kitchen, which is just a work surface across the back wall by the door we entered through. I grab a cup and pour some coffee then spot some cookies and can’t help it, I am tempted to have one. I hear a cough to the right of me and I look but there is no one there. Past the door where we came in is a long curtain, which I didn’t notice when we first walked in but I remember Lucas saying something about it.

  I don’t want to be nosey but I wonder what’s behind the curtain. I slowly walk over and grab the edge of the blue curtain to peak behind when I hear footsteps rushing up behind me.

  “Sorry you can’t go in there,” Lorenzo catches me by surprise. Why is it when you know you’re being naughty you always jump and act guilty?