Heart Waves

by Danielle Sibarium

  Chapter 16

  In the morning I found Reece waiting on my top porch step with a big smile. On the short drive over to the library, we discussed the days and times he worked. I planned to coordinate my volunteer time around Reece’s schedule so I wouldn’t lose one moment with him.

  As I met with Nora, the head of the children’s department, Reece waited patiently, browsing. Nora looked exactly as I imagined a librarian should. Somewhere in her mid to late forties, her long brown hair and glasses made her look mousy. If she wore makeup, it was simple and natural.

  I couldn’t tell yet if I liked her or not. She seemed all business, explaining how, while grateful for my generous offer, the work was important and needed to be taken seriously.

  I can’t blame her for being suspicious, most of the teens came in to volunteer long before school finished, and here I was in the middle of July. Plus, they did cool things, like work with the younger children as reading or math buddies. I would be there during the day, losing my mind as I monotonously restocked the shelves and set up for the children’s programs.

  Before leaving, Reece checked out a couple of books. I hadn’t paid much attention to them until we got in the car and he handed one to me.

  “Thought you might like it,” he smirked.

  I don’t know what I expected, but a book about developing my psychic abilities and keeping my energy pure, wasn’t on the radar.

  “Thanks? Is this what you read for fun?”

  “Ha.” He smirked. “Since you’re the local entertainment, I thought this might help you keep those headaches at bay.”

  Surprised he remembered about the headaches, I smiled. “I only did the readings at Mike’s to pass the time. I don’t like doing them usually, it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable.”

  “Why are you uncomfortable?” he reached for my hand. “You’re the one who can see beyond the façade, I think that would make the person getting the reading uneasy.”

  “What did it do to you?”

  Reece took a deep breath. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something and then stopped. I was getting used to his habit of thinking before speaking. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

  I nodded.

  He hesitated, “One look in your big blue eyes and I heard these words in my head. Your reading was so similar I knew it had to be true.”

  He spoke in riddles and I wasn’t certain of the meaning, but sat captivated.

  “What words?” I asked with my curiosity peeked.

  “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”

  I stared with my mouth open. I knew those lines. Shakespeare. I hadn’t seen or heard them since my Theatrical Literature class, but I knew full well where they were from. Romeo and Juliet. And then the words I spoke that night echoed through my mind.

  You’re going to break my heart.

  Thanks, Reece, for reminding me. I found it difficult to swallow before answering him. “You’re so full of it.”

  He shook his head. “It’s true. As you spoke I knew. You are my Juliet.”

  Reece parked outside Mike’s house. After the library we went to a movie and grabbed a quick bite.

  “I’m going to spend some time home tonight,” he said squeezing my hand.

  “Home?” I asked feeling bummed. “The guys are probably riding you pretty hard about spending all your time with me.”

  Again he nodded. “They are. But I meant home. I can handle the guys fine, but my mother is another story.”

  I smiled trying to stifle my disappointment.

  “I’ll talk to you later.” He leaned in and pulled me to him for a goodbye kiss. Long before I could get my fill he broke away. He always seemed better at that than me.

  I went inside my house and wondered what to do. After a quick shower I picked the book he gave me off my bed. I thumbed through it, glimpsing at the chapter titles. Prereading. My English teachers would be proud.

  I never read anything like this before. It made me a little uneasy, but I delved right in. The opening spoke about different types of psychic powers: Channeling, communicating with spirits; clairaudience - the ability to hear things outside the range of normal perception; clairvoyance-the ability to see objects or events that cannot be perceived by the senses; and clairsentience-the ability to hold an object or touch someone and sense the energy surrounding that person, place or thing. I paid extra special attention to this part, since it described me perfectly.

  As I continued into the next chapter, I followed the directions as I read. I didn’t even know what a chakra was and now I was chanting to open the third eye chakra. Not until I got to the end of the chapter did it mention the side effects to what I’d just done. Headaches. Wonderful.

  I read further, aware of the need to read an entire chapter before trying anything in the book. I felt my eyes getting heavy. The last thing I remember was reading about positive forces and the light versus the negative dark energy and how easy it is to attract the latter. I shut the book and lay down with my eyes closed replaying the day with Reece.

  Reece was everything I could want and then some. He even seemed to be embracing the part of me I kept hidden, afraid of ridicule. But hearing him quote Romeo and Juliet bothered me more than it would any rational person. It magnified that bottom-dropping-out-of-my-stomach feeling.

  I yawned and only after I opened my eyes did I realize I fell asleep. I looked over at the clock on my night table. Six o’clock. I almost never napped during the day. Most of the time I need complete darkness to sleep.

  I called out to my mother, only lingering silence answered. I looked out my window for her car. The driveway was empty. I couldn’t help looking in the street for Reece’s car. I felt like a huge gaping hole had been punched in my chest. Another car parked in the spot he had when we returned. How could I miss him already?

  In an attempt to keep busy and keep my mind from dwelling on the fact I wasn’t with him and our time together was limited, only I had no idea how limited, I went downstairs and began pulling out the previous night’s leftovers. I planned to surprise my mother who should’ve been home at five thirty, by getting dinner started.

  My cell phone beeped. A message. I rushed to check it, adrenaline pumping through my body. I felt a wave of disappointment, Grace. Not Reece.

  She and Mike had plans. Were Reece and I interested in joining them? I rolled my eyes. Like that went over so well the previous night. I replied asking if she would stop here before going to Mike’s.

  All I needed was a little girl time. I’d tell her the whole story beginning with my initial reading of Reece’s ring and get her opinion. She had much more experience with guys and she was down to earth. She wouldn’t steer me in the wrong direction.

  * * *

  I cleared the food from my plate into the garbage pail when the doorbell rang. Grace sat at the kitchen table and listened to my parents go on about the terrible car accident and hours of traffic they hit on their way home. I rolled my eyes as I cleared the rest of the food and dishes, then grabbed Grace by the hand and led her up to my room.

  “I knew you held out on me,” her eyes were wide with surprise. “I slept here, in this very room that first night, and you insisted nothing happened.”

  “Nothing did happen. Besides you were all cozy with Mike, and you can understand why I had a problem with that,” I felt the need to defend myself. “But the bigger problem is what do I do now?”

  She shook her head, “You want a lollipop?” She asked.

  I looked at her confused, without a clue of what she was getting at. “What?” I asked mildly annoyed.

  “You are such a sucker!”

  I could always count on Grace to be brutally honesty. At least the brutal part.

  “Did he tell you your eyes shine like the stars too?” She asked in a mocking tone.

  “I get your point, but why didn’t he use those lines when I wouldn’t go out with him? That’s the pa
rt that bothers me.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe he didn’t have a chance to leaf through Romeo and Juliet before today. You did say you were at the library.”

  I shook my head, “I don’t think that’s it.”

  “OMG, listen to yourself! You met a guy who is incredibly hot, you’re totally into him. You built up this huge romance in your mind and he’s playing along, that’s all.” She dismissed my concerns. “You’re freaking out and blowing this all out of proportion.”

  “Come on Grace, you don’t believe that any more than I do.”

  “Jenna, you’re obsessing over nothing. You sound borderline psychotic and OCDish.”

  I sat quietly letting her words sink in. Okay, I could see her point, sort of. “You know it’s more than that.”

  “Is he a good kisser? He looks like he’d be great in bed.”

  I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. “Grace!”

  She picked a pillow off my bed and hugged it. “Throw me a bone here. I’ve been waiting for so long for you to finally show a real interest in someone so we could talk, really talk.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I could make myself smaller. “I’m not that bad.”

  “Honestly, I’m glad you’re just a late bloomer. I thought you were going to join an occult and shave your head.” She smiled. “Thank goodness you didn’t. I’d lose my mind if all of a sudden I couldn’t talk to you because you took a vow of silence or something.”

  “Please.” I rolled my eyes. “You’d still be able to talk. I just wouldn’t be able to answer, much like we’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks anyway.”

  “The thing is this Jenna,” she took on a serious look and tone of voice, “you need to find a way to relax and just go with the flow. He offered to take it slow, then do that.”

  “I am.”

  “And if he wants to be your soul mate, your one true love and open doors for you and come to your rescue, or recite beautiful poetry to you, let him, because guys like that are few and far between.”

  Chapter 17

  It was the twinkle in Reece’s eyes that gave him away. I knew he had something special planned the instant I saw him. He picked me up at the library as usual, but finding Mike and Grace in the backseat was a surprise.

  “Does she know?” Grace asked when Reece started the engine.

  He looked at me and grinned, “Not yet.”

  “Know what?”

  “Where we’re going silly,” Grace answered.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I told you she wouldn’t notice,” Mike snickered.

  More than a week passed since I confronted Mike, and we hadn’t spoken since. I turned to snap at him and tell him to go jump off a roof, when I started to catch on. Mike had a Yankee Jersey on and Grace wore a Yankee hat. I looked at Reece in his favorite Derek Jeter tee shirt and it all came together.

  “No way.”

  “Don’t worry,” Mike teased, “we’ll explain so you can keep up.”

  Reece gave my hand a squeeze. I think he just wanted to keep me from jumping in the back and pounding Mike’s face with my fist. I took it for what it was, a jab at my disinterest in sports.

  “Ha ha.” I answered. “Explain all you want, but I’ll be the one going home with a ball.”

  “Yeah right,” Mike rolled his eyes.

  “You’ll see,” I teased and gave him my best evil smile.

  Being at the new stadium was so exciting I didn’t mind being part of the Bleacher Creature. What the backless seats lacked in comfort, they made up for in fun: chanting the player names at the beginning of the game, starting the wave, and cheering louder than any other section of the ballpark.

  The ultimate highlight happened late in the game. People started pushing, cramming closer in the already confined area. Hands flew in front of my face, I thought I might lose an eye, so I ducked, using my arms to shield my head. Reece fought through the onslaught and emerged from the frenzy with Robinson Cano’s game winning homerun ball. A punctuation mark on a perfect day!

  Everything with Reece was perfect. A prickling sensation ran down my back each time that thought popped into my head, because of the one thing I knew about perfection. It’s an illusion.

  * * *

  I felt myself baking in the sun and rolled onto my stomach. Reece lie on his side, propped up on his elbow. He smiled at me as he reached over and brushed my arm lightly with his fingertips.

  “You okay?” He asked, “You’re awfully quiet.”

  “What are you trying to say, I talk a lot?” I joked.

  “No. You seem preoccupied. I’m curious what you’re thinking,” he ran his fingers down the side of my face.

  “I’m thinking this has been the best summer of my life. And it’s all because of you. I’m just wondering how I got so lucky.”

  It was true. I’d never had such fun before in my life. Each day with Reece was an adventure. Even the nights we stayed home and played board games or went swimming, or just got lost staring onto each other’s eyes.

  Reece moved closer, he leaned over and wrapped his free arm around my waist. I felt my entire body tingle. I nestled my head in the crook of his arm and inhaled deeply. He smelled like a mixture of the ocean and sun block. Heaven.

  “I’m the lucky one,” his eyes bore into mine. “I’m honored you chose to be with me.”

  “Like I had a choice,” I said losing myself in his large brown eyes. They were so warm and expressive. “I didn’t get the feeling you were going to give up.”

  “I wasn’t.” He stared at me with a peaceful look on his face. His eyes dropped to the sand like a shy little boy. “I do have to admit though, I’m a little nervous.”

  “Why?” He piqued my interest.

  “There’s something I want to say to you,” he moved his hand from my waist to the back of my neck.

  Fear took over. From nowhere any icy chill ran through me. The most frustrating part, I couldn’t understand why. I moved up to meet his lips. I entwined my fingers in his hair and pulled him down with urgency. I needed to stop him from speaking.

  At first he gave in to the kiss, his hands on a voyage, his body pressing against mine. I felt him tense as he slowly broke away breathing heavy. He rested his forehead against mine and looked at me with smoldering eyes. “You’re not making this easy. You have no idea what that does to me.” He said in a deep throaty voice.

  “Good.” I smiled back inviting him, daring him to show me. Again I leaned in.

  “You trying to shut me up or something?”

  I broke free of his embrace and sat up. “That’s ridiculous,” I said, hoping I could convince him.

  He shook his head, “No. There’s something going on. I wish you would tell me.”

  How could I tell him what I couldn’t put into words? What I couldn’t comprehend? I only knew I couldn’t let him tell me he loved me. Not until I figured out why when he wanted to say those words, I felt incredible pain in my chest.

  I pressed my lips together into a thin line before I decided to speak again. “What happened with Rebecca?” I asked.

  Talk about your mood killer.

  He let go of me and sat up, his eyes went from friendly and playful to dark and stormy. “Jenna, where is this coming from?”

  I hesitated before answering uncertain myself. I looked away, afraid to meet his eyes. “You never talk about her. You never even told me what happened.”

  “Why would I talk about her? Especially to you.” He looked annoyed.

  The question made sense. Part of me didn’t want to know. Hearing details of their relationship would certainly make me jealous or insecure, especially with him moving back on campus in a couple of weeks. But there was a pull, something that made me feel it was important to understand why they broke up. As if it would somehow affect me.

  “I just . . .” I tried to find some reason he would deem acceptable, “You’ll be going back to school soon and I’m worried, I guess.
”

  Reece got up and walked away. He headed to the shore line. I didn’t move at first. I watched him stand there. He crossed his arms over his chest and I wondered what was going through his mind. I knew I should go to him, but what could I say? I wanted to know. What started as mild curiosity swelled into an all-out-need.

  The longer I sat and did nothing, the less likely I would get what I wanted. I didn’t like the feeling I got sitting by myself watching him, like this was a precursor of things to come. I felt very alone. I tried to shake it, to tell myself I imagined this strange feeling.

  I knew I didn’t.

  I jogged down to the hard sand where Reece had taken a seat. I kneeled down behind him and threw my arms around his chest. He didn’t move other than to place a hand on top of mine.

  I kissed his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

  “Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” He asked.

  “For bringing up bad memories. It obviously upset you.”

  He took my arms off him and gently pulled me from behind him, around to his lap. I sat and wrapped my arms around his neck, finding nothing but sadness in his beautiful brown eyes.

  “That’s what I thought.” He shook his head, “I’m not upset because I’m thinking about her.”

  “You’re not?” I asked.

  “No.” He smoothed the back of my hair. “I’m upset because you don’t trust me.”

  “That’s not true. I trust you completely.”

  “You still think I’m going to hurt you.

  I leaned my forehead against his. I thought about denying it, but I knew he’d see through me. I pressed my lips against his.

  “Just let me say it,” he sounded so sad. “Maybe then I could convince you.”

  I shook my head. “It’s too soon. We’ve been together for what a month?”

  “But I know what’s in my heart, how I feel about you. I’ve never felt this way. About anyone. Time won’t change that. It will only get stronger.”