Texas Hold 'Em

by PATRICK KAMPMAN

  “You mean we’re not going to neck?” he asked. ”It’s okay; I understand, babe. Most women can’t contain themselves around me. Best not to start something you aren’t prepared to finish.”

  “Oh, please, Megan, start it,” said Lacey.

  Megan declined to comment, concentrating instead on the task at hand. Bryan watched his blood drain into the cup for a moment before deciding to find something else to occupy his field of vision. He settled on a device lying on the table next to him.

  “What’s this?” He grabbed the plastic L-shaped object off the desk and held it up for everyone to see. It was the thermometer that Jacob had accosted me with back at the Alamo.

  “A vamp detector. Jacob uses it in the field to screen for vampires,” I said, trying unsuccessfully not to watch what Megan was doing.

  “With a thermometer?” asked Lacey between bites. The pizza’s sub-par quality did little to save it from total annihilation.

  Jacob looked affronted at being questioned about his methods twice in one night.

  “What of it?”

  Lacey included me in her patented frown, like somehow I condoned Jacob’s craziness. “So how does that work? I mean: you walk up to a vamp, pull out the thermometer, and then you hope that they’re either so stunned by shock or crippled by laughter that you actually get a chance to slide it across their forehead. Then what? If it’s not a vampire, you have just committed one heck of a serious social faux pas. And if it is? Bingo! Positive reading! It’s the walking dead, standing right there in front of you! Then what do you do?”

  “Dude, at least it’s a forehead thermometer.”

  It was hard to argue with my brother’s point.

  Jacob clamped his mouth shut and continued watching what Megan was doing, maintaining a dignified silence as if to imply that he most definitely had a plan if someone ever tested positive, but that it was either too obvious—or too cunning—for him to share.

  Lacey continued, this time with her mouth full. “I mean, if it was made of wood, you could sharpen one end and stake them with it.”

  Bryan swiped the thermometer across Megan’s forehead while she was too focused on the liquid draining into the cup to realize what was happening.

  “It’s not working.” He studied the display, oblivious to the venomous stare his action garnered from the angry vampire holding his bleeding wrist.

  “You have to press the button first. You’ll hear a beep,” said Jacob, “Though you might not want to try it again.”

  “Why not?” There was an audible beep as Bryan pressed the button.

  “Because it’s pissing off the vampire that’s currently draining you, and she might decide not to stop,” supplied Lacey, who, having finished off the slice of pizza, was back in the fridge rummaging for seconds.

  “Damn. Chance, tell your woman to lighten up. I was only taking her temperature. See if I ever share some of the Bry with you again!” Despite his tough words, I noted Bryan had tossed the thermometer back onto the table.

  “Jacob, how about that room?” I asked. The light emanating from the windows was getting brighter with each passing moment.

  Jacob gave a furtive look at Megan, who had visibly calmed once the threat of the thermometer abated and her cup was full of “Bry.” She was now showing obvious restraint in sipping from the mug.

  “Well, I can’t see how this day could get much worse. Come on—when you’re finished there, follow me,” said Jacob.

  “Can we trust him?” Lacey asked.

  The question caused Jacob to spin on her, face dripping incredulity. He began to sputter something incomprehensible. There were more words, but “me, murder you?” was all I got out of it.

  “What?” Lacey asked innocently. “How do we know you’re not going to kill us all in our sleep? You’re a hunter, after all. A heck of a good one.”

  Jacob sputtered a bit more before indignantly turning and walking off into the maze. He was struggling with the whole ordeal. I knew he didn’t interact with many people. Only those he trusted, and he didn’t trust easily. I was pretty sure the trust he had placed in me had all but evaporated.

  Megan and Lacey started after him. Bryan waited with me. I shouldn’t have moved with my injuries, but I felt the whole process would go better with me there. My first attempt at standing was a failure. My leg was better, but I couldn’t make it on my own. So, with my brother’s support, we limped along after everyone.

  After a couple of wrong turns, Bryan and I finally found them in another corner of the loft. This section had been turned into the main living area. There was a small studio-style kitchen on one wall, a bed and a couple of dressers against another, and a worn La-Z-Boy chair facing a large flat-screen TV in the center of it all.

  “Sweet TV—you have an Xbox?” Bryan asked. He left me propped up against the kitchen counter, sat down on the La-Z-Boy, and grabbed one of several remotes off the table.

  Jacob scowled at him, then tugged aside a corner of the small carpet that lay in front of the sink. A keyhole and a handle were set into the wood. He pulled out a key ring, inserted a brass key, and turned it. Then he tugged on the ring. The three-inch-thick solid wood door rose out of the floor without a sound. The rug was still affixed to its back, so that if someone closed the door—say, from below—it would fall back into place, hiding the entrance.

  Lacey, Megan, and I stood around the hole and peered down. A ladder descended into a chamber located on the first floor.

  “Safe room is down there. No windows. There’s a door that leads outside. It’s alarmed; don’t open it. Don’t touch anything,” said Jacob.

  “Thank you.” Megan addressed him directly. Jacob looked at her a moment, nodded, and then looked away, emotions battling across his face.

  I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Really. Thanks, Jacob.” I paused. “Look, there’s something I have to tell you. Paul is dead. When I was at Fred’s house, I heard the vampires say that you and I were the last ones they had on their hit list.”

  Jacob nodded. “I know. I called him as soon as you left. When I didn’t get an answer, I went snooping around the internet. Seems he was killed in a mugging in Houston last week. Throat was cut. They never found who did it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You and me both. Let’s all get some rest; we can talk about what’s next afterwards.” He turned and shuffled off to the fridge, Lacey moving to intercept him.

  Megan was eyeing the heavy door and ladder with a certain amount of trepidation. I knew what she was thinking. It could double as a prison. Could we trust Jacob?

  If I were her, I’d be worried as well. Trapped in a cell in some hunter’s house, the odds were good that she’d end up with a stake in her chest. Not that Jacob would try anything, but she didn’t know him.

  “After you.” I held out my hand, letting her know I was going to be right behind her.

  She smiled. “You just want me down there first, so I can break your fall when that leg gives out on the stairs.”

  “Touché.”

  “Damn, bro, you actually came up with a way to get on top of a woman I hadn’t thought of.” Bryan finally found the right remote combinations to get the TV working and turned on a cartoon.

  “You’re going to sleep down there? With that thing?” An astonished Jacob turned toward me, still holding the refrigerator door. Clearly he thought I had completely lost my mind.

  Jacob caught the look his word choice elicited from Lacey, who was busy pushing in front of him to rummage inside the icebox. But I was the only one who saw Megan’s involuntary wince.

  Jacob stood up straighter. “No, it’s a thing all right. I’m not correcting myself.”

  “As Lacey never fails to point out, it won’t be the first time, and I’m still breathing. I’ll see you guys later on.” I nodded at everyone, then headed for the ladder.

  Megan was already standing at the bottom, positioned so she could catch me if I did fall. It didn’t insp
ire confidence. Despite her less than flattering precautions, I made it down without drama, though the task was painful and took longer than it should have.

  I didn’t know what to expect, but this wasn’t it. The room was larger than I would have guessed, built when wood paneling was all the rage. It had a cot, shelves with supplies, and several weapons hanging on a pegboard. I took a second to admire a Saiga-12 automatic shotgun before resuming my evaluation of the room.

  There was a whiteboard as well, and several computers. On the screens were the same camera images that were showing in his office. The room also had a small fridge, a TV, and a heavy metal door that Jacob had indicated led to an escape tunnel.

  There was only one cot and it wasn’t large; we had to be practically on top of one another in order to fit, which neither of us particularly objected to.

  Megan helped me onto it, then lay down beside me.

  “I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Thanks; me, too!”

  She smiled, resting a cool hand against my cheek. “Don’t ever take off like that again, okay?”

  “I promise.” I leaned forward and kissed her. I had intended it to be more of a peck, but it rapidly grew into something more. Our lips parted and our tongues flirted with each other. Her body pressed up against mine. Despite the pain, I wrapped my free arm around her. Things were heating up, and at her first soft moan I pulled my head back.

  She looked at me with a mischievous grin. “You know, we never finished the wine, and Lacey destroyed the fern. That means I still owe you a housewarming gift.”

  “Cool. Maybe a cactus next time? I tend to forget to water plants,” I suggested.

  “A cactus, huh?” Megan’s hand did some exploration until it found one part of me that was definitely not injured. “I had been thinking of giving you something a little more personal.”

  I actually briefly considered it, which, taking into account my current state, was a testament to Megan. But ultimately I declined.

  “Once I’m better, and more confident it won’t kill me, I fully intend to take you up on that offer.”

  She smiled, giving me a lasting kiss before turning around and scooting back up to me so her back pressed against me. I put my arm around her, and in seconds we were both asleep.

  Chapter 9

  Despite Lacey’s magical healing, I still hurt, and as the night progressed, sleep on the crowded cot came in irregular increments. Every so often I would move the wrong way and the resulting pain would jolt me awake. I would readjust, getting comfortable, and then Megan, still asleep, would snuggle right back into me like a cat seeking warmth.

  I eventually got up at about two o’clock in the afternoon, careful not to wake Megan, who continued to sleep soundly.

  Even though my leg was noticeably better than the previous evening, it still took twice as long as it should have for me to ascend the ladder. Considering I could walk at all, I shouldn’t have been complaining. Finally making it to the top of the ladder, I popped open the trapdoor and was greeted by an overexcited voice that I didn’t recognize.

  “Door’s up! Is that the vamp?”

  The source of the voice was a high-school-aged kid sitting at the kitchen table in front of a laptop. He got up and made a beeline toward me, his expression skeptical. I almost fell back down into the safe room as I was assaulted by his enthusiasm.

  “Nah, settle down, boy; that’s just Chance. The vamp is still down there. Looks like she didn’t eat him after all,” said Jacob, showing genuine surprise that I hadn’t become a midnight snack.

  Bryan opened his mouth to let loose with a smart-ass remark. “No, but I bet he ate—ow!” Lacey’s elbow stopped him mid-sentence.

  “Let me guess: you’re the nephew, the one that set up all the computer equipment,” I said, shutting the trapdoor behind me.

  “Kevin. Pleased to meet you.” We shook hands. His grip was strong despite his bookish physique. He was tall and lanky, but unlike myself, I guessed he felt more comfortable with a keyboard than a ball.

  I surveyed the room and saw that everyone else was awake and present. Bryan and Lacey sat squished together on the chair watching a daytime talk show, and Jacob was doing dishes.

  Lacey must have persuaded him to cover the windows. Blankets hung over them as a precaution in case Megan woke up before nightfall, which was a given. She was almost always up by mid-afternoon.

  “When Uncle Jake said he had a vampire here I thought he was lying.” Kevin’s tone and expression implied he still did.

  “I’m not lying, Kevin, and you should go home. I told you it’s not safe here. That thing might be up any minute. We can work on scanning in the rest of the documents tomorrow.”

  “And miss the vamp? No way.”

  It was obvious this argument had been going on a while. Jacob was past exasperation when he shut off the tap and walked to the fridge to get himself a beer. He unscrewed the cap, then lobbed a shot that bounced off the rim of a plastic trash can and rolled under a chair.

  He let out a long sigh as he sat down at the kitchen table.

  “So, Kevin knows about the things that go bump in the night?” I asked Jacob.

  “Oh, he knows all about ‘em. Doesn’t believe a lick of it, of course. Thinks I’m making it all up.”

  “I believe what I see, and so far…” Kevin shrugged.

  “Count yourself lucky,” I told him. “Your uncle’s right—it’s better not to involve yourself in all of this if you can avoid it. It’s dangerous, and I can tell you from personal experience that even part-time work at Game Shack has better compensation.”

  “So why do you do it?” he asked me.

  “I’m getting out. The only reason I got involved in the first place was because something happened to my girlfriend.”

  “Uncle Jake said a vampire whacked her.”

  I nodded. “And then he killed a lot of my friends and burned down my mom’s house. Like I said, it’s better to leave them alone.”

  “So who is this bad boy that did all the damage? I take it it’s not the one down in Uncle Jake’s hidey hole?” Kevin asked.

  “No, that’s Megan. The one responsible for the death of Kristi, and everyone else, is named Christian. That’s all I know about him. If you want more, you’ll have to ask your uncle. He’s the one with the guy’s history.”

  Kevin looked at his uncle expectantly. Jacob closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment. Then he took one long swig from his bottle, folded his hands in his lap, and began to talk.

  “All right. I’ll tell you what I know. Best to clear the air and get it all out there; that way you know who you’re dealing with and why.

  “It was the late eighties. The housing market here had crashed, the savings and loans were going under, and we were on a roll. My team and I had been killing monsters for going on fifteen years.

  “We started with vampires, then branched out a bit. Got ourselves some werewolves, a witch or two… even a troll, if you can believe it. Man, let me tell you, trolls are tough. But don’t underestimate the rest of the fae-folk either. They might not be as brutally strong as trolls, but they make up for it in cunning, and some of them have right powerful magic. We went after a few, but never could catch one.

  “My point is, we were hunters. Good ones. Or so we thought. Figured we’d had the state pretty much cleaned up, or at least the part we’d lived in. Of course, I know now that wasn’t true. Most of what we ran across were the ones living on the fringes of their society. Heck, back then we didn’t even realize they had a society, let alone a fringe that clung to it.” He killed the rest of his beer and continued.

  “Anyway, it turns out we’d been going after the loners. The cast-offs, the ones that even the monsters consider criminals. A lot of these weren’t too smart. They didn’t have the safety net the others do, and were prone to leaving trails.

  “I got good at sifting through the details in crime reports, news articl
es, rumors on the street, that type of stuff. Knowing what I knew about what existed, it was easy for me to pick out the anomalies.

  “You see, I was looking at the information in a whole different light. What others attributed to a vicious animal attack, I figured might be werewolves. When some prostitute or gang-banger was found with a slashed throat, I marked it as a possible vampire attack. Plus, we had made a name for ourselves and were getting tips. Folks who encountered things they couldn’t explain found us, and we helped them out.

  “That’s when I started to notice the conspiracies. When I guessed there might be a society. Some sort of vampire elite controlling things. Once you begin compiling all of the information, take a step back, and look at the big picture, it all becomes clear. You see the connections. You start to realize who controls what and—”

  I cleared my throat. Jacob’s government conspiracies were bad enough; I didn’t think any of us was in the mood for an hour-long dissertation on vampire plots.

  “Burying your head in the sand and pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make them go away. It’s what they want you to do,” said Jacob.

  “Make what go away?” asked Lacey, before I could stop her. It took a full thirty minutes more to reel Jacob in from the conspiracy theories and back onto what he knew about Christian. At least I was sure Lacey wouldn’t be making that mistake again.

  Jacob went up and got another beer to lubricate his well-worn throat before settling back down to his story.

  “So mostly it was my hard work that found the things. It’s all about research and patience, though I admit that the occasional tips we got helped. Word travels. We’d help a guy who would tell someone who would pass it along to someone else, and so forth. Come to think of it, in those last years, we got a lot of tips. We got to be well known in the community.

  “Well, as it turns out, we stumbled upon Christian through one of those tips; otherwise, I doubt we ever would have found him. He was smart. Unlike the others we had hunted, this guy was hiding in plain sight. He operated in human society. He had a house; he was connected to the movers and shakers in town. The human ones. We never would have suspected that he was one of the vampire elite, the master vampire of Texas.” He looked straight at me, deadly serious.