Love In In the Message

by RJ Scott

  Mountain Lake was neither anywhere near a mountain nor could it really be called a lake. It was a widening in the broad Scarrasay River which circled the town and then meandered southward. Natural outcrops of rocks formed a barrier that held the water in deep pools before it spilled over in a series of waterfalls to continue on its way. There were other people there; a couple of families and some kids Luke recognised from a few years below them in school. The four of them made their stand under broad trees at the edge of the falls and unpacked everything. Already covered from head to toe in SPF 50, Luke followed the others straight to the water. His fair skin burned in mere seconds, or so it seemed, whereas Cam had that burnished look of a guy who didn’t need to worry about sun.

  "What's on your mind?" Cam asked. He was swimming lazily in circles around Luke who was treading water and completely lost in thought. He needed to find a time and a place and a way of explaining to Cam what was going on. Suddenly here was good. When Cam couldn’t touch him was the absolutely ideal place to be when he explained about the letter.

  "I had this letter yesterday. Hand delivered." He said this with confidence and was quite proud of the start.

  Cam turned on his back and floated in place. He tilted his head to look at Luke with a question on his face. "What did it say? Was it college stuff?"

  "It was from Ryan Kitchener." The words were so simple yet Luke could see when the impact of them hit Cam. His boyfriend turned over and began to tread water right in front of him.

  "Are you okay?" Cam asked urgently. Right there and then, if Luke hadn’t already felt himself in love then he would be now. For Cam to focus on how Luke felt and not immediately ask what was in the letter was just what Luke's bruised and needy heart required.

  "I'm fine."

  Cam moved closer and, using one hand, he hooked himself on a rock and then pulled Luke until the two were supported on the ancient stone. Cam leaned forward and kissed Luke gently before pulling him into a close hug.

  "You smell nice," Cam said gently as he nuzzled Luke on the throat.

  "Coconut sun screen," Luke said as the flow of water pushed him closer to Cam. It made the situation one hell of a lot more interesting as, groin to groin, they embraced. "He apologized," Luke began. "In the letter that is. He also gave me his address. He's living three towns over."

  Cam tightened his hold. Luke didn’t have to ask why. One of Cam's hands slid to rest on Luke's hip just near where a scar curved the line of the bone.

  "Do you want to talk?" Cam asked. "About Ryan? About what was in the letter?"

  That was probably the last thing Luke wanted to do. "I'll let you read it when we get home but there's nothing I need to tell you about now, really. He explained he wasn't in a good place at the time and swears that he's learned his lesson."

  "Do you think he has?" Cam was just asking a question but Luke could hear the doubt in his boyfriend's voice.

  "He wrote that he has. So from what he is writing, can I tell?" Luke shrugged. "I don’t know." I wish I did.

  Cam worried his lower lip with his teeth. He clearly had a question that he was finding hard to word. Finally he released the lip and all Luke wanted to do was kiss the tiny reddening mark better. "Did he want to meet you?"

  "He didn’t stick around to talk to my mom and he never mentioned it in the note. God knows what he would have done if I had answered the door." Or what I would have done?

  "Luke?" Cam moved slightly and heat flared in Luke's belly. The water may well be cold but he could feel every inch of his boyfriend, hard against him. Both as hard as each other and Cam's gaze was focused on him and him alone. "I know you have Mitchell, and your family, but if you want to see him and you need someone to be with you? Think of me as well."

  They kissed and Luke was lost to sensation; the cool wash of water, the heat of the sun and the press of Cam against him. He groaned and closed his eyes, already so close to losing it in the most public place they had ever kissed.

  "Hey. Who wants food?" Megan called from the bank behind the rocks. Luke pulled back and the lingering kiss between them relaxed to soft touching of Cam's lips on his throat.

  "Coming," he called back.

  "I wish we were," Cam moaned quietly. It wouldn’t take too much to push Luke over the edge and he wondered if Cam was as close. Coming here, in the churning water of the several foot-high falls over the rock would leave no evidence and they would actually be able to go back to the picnic area they had chosen without freaking hard-ons big enough to poke eyes out.

  With determination Luke plunged his hand into Cam's swim shorts and set up a rhythm on the length of his boyfriend. Thank God for teenage reaction times—it took a few strokes and Cam was gasping his name against his neck and a push of himself against where he knew Cam had just come had him losing it himself. They held on to each other for a few minutes, each breathing heavily and Luke was never more thankful that they couldn’t be seen here and that the rushing water was washing away the evidence.

  Megan hadn’t called again and Luke imagined there wouldn’t be much picnic left. By the time they scrambled over rocks to the shaded area he could see the layout hadn’t been touched and there was a very good reason for that. Pretty much everything he had focused on the fact that Megan was laying on the rug and Mitchell was lying next to her holding her hand. They didn’t jump up looking embarrassed to have been caught. If anything it appeared Mitchell had dozed off. Still, when he finally woke and sat up he wouldn’t look Luke in the eye and that made Luke immediately suspicious.

  He knew exactly what an eighteen-year-old boy wanted in a girlfriend. Exactly what Luke wanted in a boyfriend. Only Mitchell wanted it with his sister. Luke resolved to ask his mom if she had talked to Megan about condoms. Shit. No, he should just talk to Megan direct. After they dropped Mitchell off. Wait. Maybe he should just have a man-to-man with Mitchell himself. Just literally man up and demand to know what Mitchell was playing at and did they need to talk birth control and safety and was Mitchell aware Luke would kill him if he hurt Megan?

  Cam must have sensed the atmosphere as he went overboard being happy, smiley, and funny. Despite himself, Luke was soon laughing along with Cam and after everything had been eaten and they all lay back on the blanket Luke was even feeling mellow. His brain had passed through more than one scenario and had kind of settled on the whole 'if he couldn’t trust his best friend with his sister then who could he trust?'

  When he turned over to avoid any burning at all he thought he caught sight of Jack, one of the two Js that followed Eddie around, far off down the path. He peered into the distance but all he could see now was a dark head of hair and wasn’t entirely convinced of whom he had seen. Not that it worried him, Jack on his own was a pussycat, it was just when he got together with Joe and Eddie and the whole freaking football team. That was when they considered it okay to corner and intimidate him and generally make his life a misery.

  "Are you okay, Luke?" Cam asked.

  Luke stretched like a cat and then rested his head on Cam's chest. "Way past okay."

  When the sun began to lose its strength and the spectre of test revision reared its ugly head they packed up and began the walk back to the car. Seeing Mitchell and Megan holding hands was disconcerting but Luke couldn’t exactly complain when he was gripping Cam's like he didn’t want to separate. Mitchell and Megan were at the car first. They didn’t even notice what had happened. It was only when Cam went around the other side to steal the front passenger seat that it became obvious.

  Two slashed tires and a single short word scratched into the metal.

  Fag.

  * * * * *

  "It's juvenile," Luke said evenly. They were waiting for the tow truck and his stomach protested the two hour wait. Everyone else was in a kind of temper driven shock; Luke had had so much thrown at him over the last few years that a few scratches in paintwork were the least of his worries. Marks in metal could be removed; scars in skin and inside a person were much harder to
heal.

  "It's criminal damage," Mitchell groused again. "Who the fuck thinks it's okay to mess with people's stuff like this? Are you okay, Luke?"

  "Stop asking me if I'm okay," Luke said simply. He slid down the side of the car to sit with his back to one of the flat tires. Cam crouched down in front of him.

  "You're very quiet," he said.

  Luke saw him exchange worried glances with Mitchell and then look back at him.

  "What do you want me to do? Cry? Shout? Lose my temper?" Luke snapped the words out with very little thought other than to speak the truth.

  "I didn’t mean anything by it." Cam looked like a kicked puppy; all big blue eyes and concern.

  "There's no point in losing it," Luke added quietly. He held out his hand which Cam took immediately. It twisted Luke's gut to see Cam so pleased that Luke wanted to connect. "I'm just giving them what they want if I actually give in."

  "You don’t need to hide it from us." Cam lowered his voice to a near whisper but Mitchell and Megan had moved to the rocks at the edge of the parking looking down at the river seemingly lost in conversation. They would hear what Luke had to say in return.

  Every single day something happens, you know?" Luke started. "It has got to the stage where my day isn’t done until someone pushes me, or shoves me against the lockers, or says something when I walk by. This," he tapped the car behind him with his free hand. "This is nothing that is bad enough for me to want to vent."

  Cam made himself comfortable on the gravel parking area directly in front of Luke. Somehow he managed all of that without releasing Luke's hand. The sky was darkening around them as evening drew in.

  "I hate that," Cam offered gently. "When I'm not with you and people hurt you."

  "Not long until we leave this place." Luke said defiantly. He didn’t have accommodation arranged yet but he had his place at UVA, as did Cam. "Then no one can hurt me again."

  "You think college will be different?"

  Luke wished he could immediately say that of course college was going to be different. College was supposed to be freedom and escape and all the new things he wanted. He doubted what he was thinking and what was that saying about his inner thoughts? Familiar fear clutched at him as he imagined more years of the kind of crap he had to deal with at school.

  "Yes. I do," he lied.

  "Three months then," Cam said. There was relief in his voice. Luke immediately knew he had said what Cam needed to hear right then. The last thing he wanted was for him and Cam to have any more worries than they already had. Gripping his boyfriend's hand tightly he encouraged him to move until they sat side by side. That way he could get Cam to lean against him and there was nothing he liked doing more than touching Cameron Anders.

  "Three months is nothing," Luke said.

  "I have something to ask you. You know freshmen are required to stay on campus the first year. I was thinking that, you know, we don't get to decide who we share with, well, that isn’t the same for year two and on…" his voice trailed off and Luke looked across at him. The idea of not being able to share with Cam was something that in an odd way gave Luke comfort. He was already expecting his boyfriend to wake up and smell the coffee at college. All those other freshmen and so much choice. "We could get somewhere together."

  Luke couldn’t think of what to say back. If they were together after freshman year and if there was somewhere they could afford then, yes, it was a good idea. So he should just say yes. Because, today was turning into one of those days when Luke was on overload and he really couldn’t handle that.

  "Yeah," he finally said. Only because Cam was looking at him expectantly.

  "You don't sound convinced," Cam said.

  "No, that is a cool idea," Luke reassured him quickly. The answering smile on Cam's face was worth the invention. After the way things had been going this week, it wouldn’t be long before Cam saw straight through Luke and decided he wasn’t worth the worry. Cam could talk all he wanted about facing up to the bullies but for the best part they left Cam alone. Yes, it was school knowledge now that the ex-football team captain was gay and that, yes, he had somehow got himself involved with that tall geeky boy from the wrong side of town. Still, with the football season over, Eddie and his sidekicks had just upped the harassment. Cam stood up to them, told them in his offhand fashion to go fuck themselves and they did. Then the minute Luke was on his own they were back on.

  The physical side he could manage; just having Cam and if not Cam, then Mitchell, around him was enough of a barrier to avoid most of the heavy shit now. He never went home bleeding and to Luke that was a very good thing. The mental side however was something a lot more insidious. The comments on the fact his dad wasn’t around, the sly digs about Megan, the threats. None of that happened to Cam. Well, nothing that Cam told Luke, anyway.

  So this was Luke's life. He was in love with Cam Anders; head over heels and totally in lust with the dark-haired muscled boy who was as much a man as he was. Luke loved the fact that when Cam's hair got too long it had this cute curl to it, and the feel of it was like this silken texture that was made to be twisted around Luke's fingers. They hadn’t gone any further than the mutual masturbation but Luke didn’t want more. More scared Luke. Apparently Cam shared the concerns over the whole pain thing. Luke did some research, and hell, he'd been watching gay porn since he was old enough to know what porn was. The guys who bottomed always seemed to end up enjoying themselves but the grimaces at the beginning were not cool to see. He tensed as he sat there; the coolness of the ground filtering through his jeans.

  He'd probably have to if he wanted to keep Cam. His boyfriend would expect it soon. Isn’t that what was supposed to happen? The next step.

  "Anyway, Mom and Dad were thinking of maybe investing in a property so that would be cool. Depends how big but we could get some others—"

  The tow truck arrived at that moment and Luke had never been happier for a change in subject. He couldn’t believe how the week had started so low, then peaked, and now, all because he couldn’t vocalise what was in his head, he was in a bad place.

  Cam stood and offered a hand to help Luke up and pulled him into a quick hug.

  "What happened?" the guy in the cap said as he spat on the grass area. No one immediately answered and he hunkered down to look at the tire at the rear. "Slashed," he said.

  "Yeah," Luke said, "we have one spare but not two."

  The guy, identified as Gus from his name badge, harrumphed and then moved to trace the three letters carved into the metalwork. Lips thinning he said nothing else; simply went through the actions to get the car up on tow. He gestured for the four teenagers to get into the truck but stopped Luke as he was about to climb in.

  "This your car then?" he asked.

  "Yes," Luke answered quickly.

  "You take photos? Of the damage." Gus looked deadly serious.

  Luke shook his head. This wasn’t something he wanted to remember.

  "You need to. Things like this, people let it slide, don’t do anything about it, doesn’t make it any better for anyone else."

  Luke opened his mouth to reply. What was the guy implying? That he should report the damage? Who the hell would listen? Evidently the tow guy was looking at Luke and seeing something that wasn’t there. Someone who actually gave a damn and had a backbone. Someone like Cam.

  "Luke, you coming up here?" Megan was asking. With a nod to Gus he climbed to sit next to Megan and opposite Cam who was looking at him with a smile. Luke returned it with a grin of his own. He could do that. Then everyone would be happy.

  "You want me to take you to the garage?" Gus asked.

  Luke considered how much money he had in his account and the expense for his mom and made a snap decision.

  "No. Home please." He gave out the address and waited for Gus to argue the point. After all, the car needed two new tires, and the carving in the side had to be fixed. Where to get that done was a decision his mom needed to have input in.


  Gus said nothing; simply grunting his agreement. When they dropped off the car back at Luke's, Mitchell and Megan disappeared into the kitchen with the excuse that they were getting drinks. That left Gus, Luke, and Cam standing at the cab of the tow truck as the car descended to lie flat.

  "This your young man?" Gus asked Luke.

  Cam laughed and leaned back on Luke. He didn’t seem concerned that the stranger was asking this question.

  "Yes," Luke answered shortly. There was a note of defiance in his voice. He regretted it as soon as it left him but it wasn’t the kind of question he was used to answering.

  "Hmm," Gus said the spat again on the grass. "Anyone need a lift home?"

  Cam started to speak but Luke talked louder. "Yeah, that would be cool if you could take Cam home."

  "Luke—"

  "Studying," Luke reminded Cam who nodded his head ruefully.

  Gus climbed into the cab and then looked straight ahead. Just enough time for Cam to steal a quick kiss. Then with a happy 'laterz' he joined Gus in the cab and pulled the door shut. Luke watched as the tow truck disappeared up the road and then with a sigh he pushed his hands in his shorts’ pockets. This wasn’t how he had envisioned today going. His imagined day out with Cam hadn’t included a sister and a best friend, nor vandalism on his car.

  "Luke!" Mitchell called from the door, "Your mom has pizza on."

  Luke sighed again. He seemed to be doing far too much of that lately. He needed a smack upside the head, and he needed it soon.

  Looking up at the start of the night sky, with darkness pushing away the light, he imagined himself in tomorrow. He was happier tomorrow. He could deal with things tomorrow.

  Tomorrow was going to be a good day.