Erasure

by Percival Everett

  “That was good, Van,” Penelope say. “Thanks for bringing us here.”

  They sits in the back seat and I be drivin them around like some kinda natral-born fool. I takes them out of my hood anyways and they don’t even notice cause they in the backseat drinkin booze out a flask. Roger offer me some but I say no and he takes a big swig and laugh at me.

  I wanna pull over and drag his skinny ass out the car and kick the shit outta him. But I don’t do it and I realize they money scare me and then I feels sick.

  They makes me drive them over to downtown and Roger say he know a corner where he can score some weed and Penelope say, “Oh goody.” And I just drives the car. There we is on Union and I’m leanin against the car watchin Richie Rich and Veronica buy they little bag when I see a jeep comin up. Damn, if it ain’t Jeep Man and he got one of his partners with him. He parks behind me and they hops out and I’m thinkin oh shit and here they comes.

  “Looky, looky,” Jeep Man say.

  “Fuck you,” I say and since I know why he stop, I just drives on his face with my fist. Bam! Blood fly out his eye like a bug and the punch feel real good to me. Real good. So good I don’t hardly feel it when Jeep Man’s partner hit me in the chest. I comes up with my knee in his fuckin balls and he double over. But I don’t want him. I want Jeep Man and so I drives on his face again and I feel it soften under my knuckles, like bread or sumpin. Bam! I gots blood on my fist and he gone. He ain’t gone be trouble to nobody for awhile. I hears a scream and I turn to see Penelope standin there. She turn and Roger catch her in his arms.

  “They try to jump me,” I says.

  “Let’s go,” Roger say.

  We gets into the car and I tear off. My fist is bloody and my heart be beating fast and I feel good. I feel real good. “So, you get some smoke?” I ax.

  “Yeah,” Roger say.

  “Well, light it up, nigger,” I say. I look at Roger in the mirror and I see in his face that he ain’t never been called nigger before. “I don’t mean nothin by it. I’m a nigger, too.”

  He rolls a joint while Penelope kill off the flask. She drunk as shit. We smoke and I drives.

  “You ever been in a fight?” I ax Roger.

  “Not really,” he say.

  “Whatchew mean, not really?” I ax.

  “I’ve got a black belt in Kung Fu, but I’ve never actually been in a fight.”

  I hold up my fist and show him the dried blood on my knuckles. “That there be my black belt.”

  Penelope lets out a high and drunk giggle.

  “You get fucked up like this every day?” I ax.

  But they don’t answer me. Penelope is almost passed out and Roger is feelin on her titties.

  “Hey, Roger,” I say.

  “What?”

  “I gots to get back. I’m gone let you out here,” I say. I pull over and turn to look him in the eyes. He too fucked up to argue. He look at Penelope. “I’ll take her on home,” I says.

  “Okay,” Roger say. He gets out and lets Penelope fall over on the seat. He watch as I drives off.

  It be almost dark by the time I gets Penelope back to her house. There some lights on but otherwise it be quiet. Penelope is in and out, talkin shit and babblin and shit and I can’t make out what the fuck she be sayin. I gets her out of the car, but she can’t stand up by her own self. I starts to take her to the front door and my heart be beatin a mile a minute. Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam, in my chest like that, like it bout to bust out my body. Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam. Then the bitch start to singin and I tells her ass to shut up. She look at me like who the fuck I be tellin her to shut up.

  “Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music,” she sing louder.

  I begs her, “Please, Penelope, please don’t make no fuss. You don’t wanna gets into no trouble, do you?”

  She looks at me and then she put her finger to her lips and say, “Shhhhh.” She look at the house. “Don’t take me in there,” she say. “Take me around back to the pool house.”

  “Okay,” I says. I do like she tells me and I damn near have to carry her round the side of the house and past the pool. The lights from inside the house be shinin off the water in the pool. A pump or some shit somewhere is makin a hummin noise. I open the door of the pool house and put Penelope on one of them lounge chairs. I watches her body sink down into the cushion. I’m lookin at her and my feelings is all tied up in knots. I want to be like her. I hate her. I hate her money. I hate her daddy. I hate the way she look at me me like I don’t know shit bout the world. But, damn she fine. Sumpin bout her almost white though and I hates her. Damn, she be fine as shit. Her shirt be open just a little bit and I can see her tittie almost. She look good, awright. I put my hand down there and touch that tittie. Just like fuckin silk. I squeezes her little nipple and she moan and I don’t think she know it me. Then I hear this tappin sound. I looks up and I see somebody comin.

  “Penelope?” the woman call out. “Penelope? Is that you?”

  A woman is standin by the pool. Shit, I thinks. I’m in here with this drunk bitch. They gone throw my ass in the jail for damn sho. Penelope make a noise. The woman hear her and come to the door of the pool house.

  “Penelope?” she say.

  But I put my mouth over Penelope’s so she can’t say nuffin. I’m in the shadow with Penelope and then I see the woman got this white cane. Shit, the bitch be blind. I almost laughs out loud. But my mouth is still on Penelope’s mouth and she be kissin me now. She don’t know who the fuck I is. The blind bitch walk on away and back into the house. And I be into it now. Penelope call me Roger and I think I don’t care who the fuck she think I is, I’m gone knock it out. Damn straight. And that’s what I does. Her bony ass ain’t for shit, but I knocks it out anyway. I spreads her open and stabs her. I stab her again. I wanna wake her up and say the pussy ain’t no good. But she asleep. Sleepin like in that story. But my kiss dint wake her ass up.

  Seben

  Next mornin, Baby Girl come runnin into my room. She be yellin for me to get up and come to the phone. I tells her I be tryin to sleep, but she keep pullin on me.

  “What the fuck is it?” I ax.

  “They on the phone,” she say.

  “Who on the phone?” I be wakin up and my mind be racin like crazy. The cops? Mr. Dalton? Who be on the phone. I awake now.

  “From the telebision,” Baby Girl say.

  “What?” I ax.

  “Snookie Cane,” she say. “From that Snookie Cane Show.”

  “Leave me the hell alone,” I say. “You ain’t funny.”

  “I’se for real,” she say.

  I gets up and walks out in my underwear to the phone. There’s some bitch on the other end and she wants to know if I’m me. I tell her, “Fuck yeah, I’m me! What you want?”

  I hears her laugh away from the phone. Then she says, “We want you to be our guest on Snookie Cane.”

  I’m thinkin this a joke. “Yeah, right,” I say. “And why you want me on the show?”

  “Well actually we have a guest who wants to surprise you with something. Someone who has a crush on you.” She take a breath, then say, “We’re taping the show today at one. We’re at Optic White Studios in Burbank. Stage F.”

  “You fo’ real?” I say.

  “Yes, I am,” she say. “Can you make it?”

  “Somebody got a crush on me?” I ax.

  “Yes, indeed.”

  “The Snookie Cane Show?”

  “Yes,” she say.

  “Snookie Cane gone be there?” I ax.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m gone be on TV?” I ax.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I be there,” I say.

  “Be here by twelve-thirty,” she say.

  “Awright,” I say.

  She hang up. I hang up. I looks down and sees Baby Girl lookin up at me. I says, “I’m gone be on Snookie Cane.”

  Baby Girl start screamin. “Mama! Mama! Go gone be on Snookie Cane!” She go runnin in the kitchen. I follow
s. She tell Mama again.

  Mama look at me. “What you done, boy?”

  “I ain’t done nuffin. Somebody gots a crush on me,” I say.

  Mama just starin at me.

  “That what she say on the phone. Say they doin the show today.”

  Baby Girl look like she gone bust wide open. “Mama, we gone go watch Go on telebision?”

  Mama look worried. She smile at Baby Girl and say, “I guess so.”

  “Boy, that what you wearin to be on nashnal TV?” Mama ax.

  “Yeah and don’t fuck wif me,” I say.

  “Don’t talk to me like that,” she say. “And you cain’t be talkin like that on the telebision.”

  “They can’t tell me how to talk,” I say. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Our neighbor-lady, Quanita-Mack drive us in her car. I be sittin in the back wif Baby Girl and them big gals be sittin all over the front seat. They talkin and maybe they even talkin bout me or to me, but I don’t be hearin them cause I’m thinkin bout last night and what I done to Penelope.

  I feels big. Then I’m thinkin bout who it be that gots a crush on me. I feels real big.

  When we gets to the studio there’s this nigger in a uniform tellin us we gots to park all the way the fuck across the street. I lean up and out of Quanita-Mack’s window and yells at the muthafucka. “I’m supposed to be on the telebision, nigger,” I say.

  “Listen, I don’t care if you’re s’posed to be on the moon,” he say. “You gotta park over there in lot C.”

  “You think you the man cause you wearin that uniform,” I say.

  He just looks at me.

  “Sit back, now,” Mama say to me.

  Quanita-Mack park the car and we walks across the street and into the studio and we find a line at Stage F. I walks up to the front and tells the guy at the door that I’m s’posed to be on the show.

  “What’s your name?” he ax.

  “Van Go Jenkins,” I say.

  “Okay,” he say. “Go on in to door three. They’ll take care of you in there.”

  “What about my Mama and sister,” I say.

  “And Quanita-Mack,” Mama say.

  “Yeah,” I say. “They gotta get in.”

  “Okay, okay,” he say. “I’ll see to it that they get in.”

  I walk on in and I see the way them people in the line be lookin at me. They know I’m gone be on telebision by now. I find door 3. I knocks on it and it opens. There’s a fine lookin white girl standin there, but she lookin at me hard and mean.

  “My name be Van Go Jenkins,” I says.

  “Good, get in here,” she say and she grab me by the arm and pull me in. “Gloria!”

  A skinny blond-headed girl come runnin up. “Yes, Pam?”

  “Take this gentleman over to makeup and get him shined up a little bit,” Pam say. She look at her clipboard. “Then take him to booth one and put the headset on him.”

  “Got it,” Gloria say. Then she look at me. “Come on.”

  “So, what the show bout today?” I ax.

  “Can’t talk about it,” Gloria say.

  I follow her down a long hallway. “Somebody gots a crush on me,” I say.

  “How about that,” she say.

  We gets to this room and there’s this fag nigger standin there in purple pants and a pink shirt tied in a knot above his navel and he say, “Come on in, baby, and have a seat. Queenie gonna do you good.”

  “Fuck that,” I says. I turns to Gloria. “That eye ain’t gonna touch my ass.”

  Queenie say, “I don’t want to touch yo’ ass. Yet.”

  Gloria put her hand on my arm. “You want to be on TV, right?”

  “Yeah,” I say.

  “You want all those people out there to see you on the stage, right?” she say and she straightens up the front of my shirt.

  “Yeah,” I say.

  “Then let Queenie shine you up just a little bit,” she say. “I promise it won’t hurt.”

  “Now, come on, boy and get in this chair,” the faggot say to me. “Are you afraid of me?”

  “Naw, I ain’t scareda you or nobody,” I say.

  “Then sit down,” he say.

  I sit down and the nigger take to spread vaseline on my face.

  “What that shit fo’?” I ax.

  “This will make you shine like a proper TV nigger,” he say. Then he laugh real loud and I can see in the back of his mouth. He got gold fillins. He calm down. “So, somebody’s got a crush on you, eh, baby?”

  “So I hear,” I say.

  “I can see it,” he say. “You think you know who it is?” he ax.

  “I don’t know who it be,” I say. “Could be a lotta peoples.”

  “Ohhh,” he squeal. “I likes that. Confidence. Could it be a man?”

  “Bet’ not be,” I say. “I don’t wanna have to kick nobody’s ass on nashnal telebision.”

  “Well, well,” he say. “All done.”

  “That it?” I ax.

  “That’s it,” he say. Then he call out, “Gloria! Gloria!”

  Gloria come in and look at me. “All shined up,” she say.

  “You can take little-Mister-afraid-for-his-ass away now,” Queenie say.

  “Don’t make me have to jump on yo’ ass,” I say.

  “Promises, promises,” he say, laughin. “You couldn’t handle it.”

  “Come on,” Gloria say and pull me out the room and back into the hallway. “It’s almost show time. I’ve got to get you into the booth and put the headset on you. What kinda music do you like?”

  “I likes rap,” I says.

  “Got lots of rap,” she say. “Now you just stand here and put on these headphones. You see that camera?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, when that red light comes on, you’re on televsion,” she say.

  “No shit,” I say.

  “No shit. But don’t say anything,” she say. “After a while I’ll stop the music and tell you to come on out. You just follow the red line on the floor to the stage. Got it?”

  I nods.

  “Okay, then,” she say. “I’ll call you in a while.”

  “Okay.”

  She leave and pretty soon some lame-ass rap wanna-be shit start comin through the headphones. Just like she say, bout ten minutes later the light on top of that camera come on. I smiles at it and kinda dance to the music. It happen a couple mo’ times. Then, just like she say, the music stop and Gloria tell me to walk on out to the stage.

  I be struttin cool as shit along that red line, round the corner, through the door and down the stairs to the stage and there they be. My fo’ babies sittin on they fo’ mamas’ laps. Aspireene be sittin on Sharinda’s lap. Tylenola be sittin on Reynisha’s lap. Dexatrina be sittin on Robertarina’s lap. And Rexall sittin there on Cleona’s lap. The empty chair be next to Cleona and that big waterhead retard be grabbin at my shirt when I sits down. The audience be booin me and I look up and I can kinda see they ugly ass faces, but the lights in my eyes and I gives them the finger. Booin me? Shit, I kick all they asses.

  Snookie Cane, that fat bitch, be standin in the middle of the audience and she say, “What a tough audience. Welcome to the show, Van Go. Look at the expression on his face,” she say. “We told Van Go that he was coming here to meet someone who had a crush on him. Are you surprised, Van Go.”

  I look at the camera. “Yeah, I surprised,” I say.

  “Today’s show is called, You gave me the baby, Now where’s the money,” she say. “So, where is the money, Van Go? These four ladies say you have never given them any cash for their children.”

  “I takes care of my babies,” I say.

  “Well, that’s a different story from the one we’ve been hearing,” she say.

  “I don’t know what you been hearin, but I takes care of my babies.”

  “Youse a damn liar,” Reynisha shout. “You ain’t gave me a damn penny, you dog.”

  The audience laugh.

  “Sit d
own and shut the fuck up,” I say.

  “You can’t use that kind of language on the television,” Snookie Cane say. “And I can’t believe you would talk that way in front of your children.”

  “But the ho be lying,” I say.

  “Who you callin a ho?” Reynisha say.

  “You, bitch.”

  The audience makes a big noise all together. Snookie Cane steps down closer to the cage. “Check the language, Van Go.”

  “He ain’t bout nuffin,” Cleona say.

  I give her a hard look since she sittin right next to me.

  “Have you given Cleona any money, Van Go?” Snookie Cane ax me.

  “What?”

  The audience laugh.

  “Yes or no, have you given Cleona any money for Rexall?” she ax.

  “You see, I ain’t had a job,” I say.

  “But you have a job now, right?” Snookie Cane say.

  “Yeah, but I ain’t got paid yet,” I say.

  “So, when you get paid, are you going to give money to each of these ladies?” she ax.

  “Hell, no,” Sharinda say. “He don’t care bout nobody but hisself.”

  “Yeah, I’m gone give them some money,” I says.

  Robertarina laughs loud. “I’ll believe that shit when I see it.”

  “Your language, Robertarina,” Snookie Cane say.

  “Sorry,” say Robertarina.

  “Some surprise, huh,” Snookie Cane say to me. Then to the camera. “When we come back we’ll see if we can get to the bottom of this and we’ll hear what our audience has to say.”

  The lights on the cameras goes off and Snookie Cane is surrounded by people makin up her face. She ain’t payin no attention to me. Cleona give me a look.

  “What yo’ problem?” I ax.

  “Shut up,” she say.

  “Who the fuck you tellin to shut up?” I say.

  A big muthafucka wearin sumpin’ on his head come trailin a wire over to me. “You’re goin have to watch yo’ language,” he say.

  “You bet’ get yo’ big-lipped ass away from me,” I say.

  “One more fuck and you’re off the show,” he say. He poke a finger in my chest and look at me hard. “Got it?”