Transformation

by Rosemary Nourse

  "To a nice place in Jackson River of course, ain't nothing worth seeing out here. I'm taking you to one of my favorite clubs, the people are very friendly, don't worry."

  Devon pulled up to a large stucco building that had droves of people walking in and out of it. It was a country dancing club. The bouncer obviously knew Devon and let them in immediately. She led Kate to the back of the expansive room where some of her friends were sitting at an oversized booth. They all introduced themselves. Each of them were fresh faced and attractive, appeared to be in their twenties and from varying backgrounds. A few were ranchers but most were professionals, some in graduate school and others worked with Devon at the hospital. They made room for Devon and Kate to sit down as a waiter brought them beer, enough beer for everyone.

  For a while it was fun, dancing with handsome strangers, drinking and laughing, trying to be clever and charming. It was exciting to feel wild and free, to let one's body move to the pounding music, to be the center of attention—the girl most of the men wanted to be with. But the scene always grew old, sooner or later, because after all the polite and superficial chatter, it would come down to one thing. That one goal they all sought. No person in that club was seriously interested in getting to know Kate and she knew that, she could sense it.

  Kate politely turned down the many invitations she received to accompany her various dancing partners home. It was already one in the morning, she was tired, she had run out of things to say and had no interest in making the effort to begin new senseless conversations. By now, most of the people there were drunk or close to it and the men who danced with her casually let their hands slide down her back to her buttocks, as if by accident.

  She moved away from another feel-up attempt and walked off the dance floor to find Devon. She finally spotted her in the arms of a very good-looking man, curled up at his table.

  "Hey Devon, I'm sorry but I'm really beat. I was wondering what time you figured on heading back."

  "Well, this place doesn't close for another hour and then I thought we could all grab a bite to eat," she laughed as the man nuzzled her neck.

  "Oh great," Kate said to herself, feeling trapped.

  Devon saw the look on Kate's face, "you can take my car back if you want, Travis will take me home—maybe."

  "I don't want to leave you without a car and I don't know my way out of the city anyway. I'll just wait."

  "Great, have another drink. Hey, here comes that handsome cowboy to ask you to dance again," Devon pointed.

  The tall, striking man whom she'd danced with for most of the evening requested another slow dance. Feeling irritable, Kate politely declined, telling him she wasn't up to it. He suggested they take a walk outside, that the loud music and clamor was bothering him also.

  Walking out into the night air and quiet stillness was heaven. It was an enormous relief to be away from the raucous.

  "I had a great time with you tonight, Kate, maybe we could see each other again."

  "Maybe, that would be nice," she replied.

  They stopped walking as he faced her, then he slowly leaned down to kiss her. She let him do it, curious to see how it would feel. As the kiss finally ended, he pressed his body close to hers and firmly placed a hand on her chest, his other hand snaking it's way under her shirt. Instinctively, she roughly shoved him away from her body.

  "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed.

  "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he answered angrily, regaining his balance. "I thought we liked each other, I don't know where you come from but this is what men and women do."

  "It's not what I do, I'm not into having sex in a parking lot."

  "You're a smart-ass and I don't like it and I sure as hell don't like getting pushed by a woman," he took a threatening step closer.

  "Don't even think about it," a man's loud voice intervened.

  The cowboy looked up and stared at the stranger, standing his ground. The stranger was built solid and looked ready to fight if necessary. The cowboy figured he had no chance of getting Kate into bed, so she certainly wasn't worth fighting over.

  "Never mind, she wasn't that good," he muttered as he turned on his heels and walked back into the club.

  Kate looked up from the ground, feeling embarrassed and scared, "thanks Tray."

  "Why don't I give you a ride home."

  "Please."

  It would be a good hour and a half ride back, but Kate didn't care. She felt so safe sitting in Tray's truck, knowing she'd soon be home and in her own bed. She kept her face turned away from him and stared out the window as a few tears slid down her cheeks, the warm air from the vent quickly drying them. She wasn't sure why she cried, maybe because she felt stupid and frightened, that the night hadn't turned out to be much fun. She couldn't help but wonder if that man would have hit her or worse if Tray hadn't shown up.

  Tray managed to keep his mouth shut for the first fifteen minutes of the ride, then he couldn't stand it, "I don't know what you were thinking back there. I thought you were from the city, that you had some street smarts."

  "I am, I do."

  "Then why did you put yourself in that potentially dangerous situation, you didn't even know that guy and yet you were alone with him in a dark parking lot."

  "He didn't seem forceful or strange in any way at the club. And I wasn't going home with him or anywhere else with him for that matter," she defended herself.

  "So you decided to just hit him out of the blue?"

  "I didn't hit him, I shoved him."

  "Let me tell you something, Kate, out here you don't go around shoving or hitting men. These guys pride themselves on being tough and masculine, they don't take kindly to being pushed around by a woman."

  "I didn't plan on doing it, he surprised me," she explained.

  "How, he couldn't add up the bar bill?"

  "No, he grabbed my breast," she blurted out.

  "Oh," he paused with some embarrassment, "Then I should have kicked his ass."

  "He was much taller than you," she retorted.

  "I tackle cattle for a living, I think I could've taken him."

  "That would've scared him, telling him you wrestle with cows," she smiled to herself.

  He couldn't help but join her in laughter and the tension left the air. Kate ran a hand through her hair as she took a deep breath, "it feels good to laugh. God, I'm so glad to be out of there."

  "It wasn't the great time you thought it'd be?"

  "It was fun for awhile; I love to dance, I like to talk and laugh. But then it was enough. I wasn't out to meet anyone special or sleep with anybody."

  "You sound like you haven't been to many clubs."

  "No, not really," she admitted.

  "You didn't go out a lot when you were younger? I'd think an attractive woman like you would've loved all the attention. Back East, they stay out all night clubbing."

  "I was never that comfortable around a lot of people, being the center of attention is nice for short periods of time. I don't want the pressure of having to perform or look the right way for someone else."

  "You underestimate yourself," he observed.

  "What do you mean."

  "Your charm, your beauty, the way you put people at ease; you don't have to try hard for those things."

  She'd never heard such a sweet compliment, it softened her heart and allowed some of her inner feelings escape.

  "I didn't always look like this, I certainly didn't look like this when I was growing up."

  "So you were a late bloomer."

  "You could say that, very late," she stated, not wanting to elaborate.

  They drove a few miles in silence.

  "What were you doing there tonight?" she asked him.

  "I teach a class at the agricultural college in the city on Fridays. I don't get done 'til five and am usually so tired by the end of the week, I stay the rest of the day in Jackson River and leave at night. I was having dinner at the steakhouse behind the
club with some colleagues when I saw you in the parking lot."

  "Thank God," she said to herself.

  "What?" he commented, even though he'd heard her.

  "Nothing, I'm just glad you were there."

  Her warmth tugged at his defenses, he fought to remain distant.

  "So, there must have been something you liked about the cowboy in order for you to let him kiss you."

  "Not really, he was handsome and charming in a rugged kind of way. It seemed harmless at the time."

  "You sure you're from the city?"

  "Yes, why?"

  "'Cause these days, nothing's harmless."

  "Are you saying that you can't even kiss a person anymore without something bad happening?"

  "You can if it's someone you trust."

  "I trust you, does that mean you're the only person I can kiss?" she replied without thinking.

  His face turned red. He didn't say anything, not sure how to respond.

  "You certainly don't seem to trust easily," she observed, feeling brave.

  "That's because not many people deserve it."

  "Sounds lonely."

  "Not really. I'm not into one night stands or short term things, my bar days have long since been over."

  "I think mine just ended," she confirmed.

  He laughed, stars shining brightly overhead as another ten miles passed by quietly.

  "Why don't you talk about yourself?" Kate asked him suddenly, remembering how he'd mentioned it during that stormy night.

  "It's a long story. What do you want to know?" he asked bluntly.

  She felt awkward and retreated, "nothing really."

  "You want to know if I'm in a relationship or why haven't I ever been married, do I date casually just for sex or not date at all—that kind of thing?"

  "I wouldn't go that far," she lied.

  "No, I'm not in a relationship, no I'm not into casual screwing and no I'm not lonely. There's some answers for you."

  "I could have found all that out from anyone in town," she remarked.

  He smiled at her comment.

  "Actually, I've got my courage up, so I do have a question," she continued.

  "Uh-oh."

  "You make it very clear that you don't particularly want or need a woman in your life, so why did you kiss me?"

  "I didn't say I don't want you," he replied honestly.

  She had no idea what to say back, but it didn't matter anyway as he pulled the truck to a halt in front of her bungalow. He stared straight ahead as she quietly got out and shut the door behind her.

  As time passed, Kate found herself enjoying her work. She performed her duties more efficiently and did them well. She had a sense of pride about her work and what she accomplished.

  As April neared its end, killing the worst of the bitter chill, Kate sat out on the porch swing most nights with Molly contentedly beside her reading, doing homework or playing on the wooden floor at her feet. Finished with the clearing of the supper dishes, Kate went out to her usual spot on the swing and was staring at the vast sky as she sipped her steaming mug of coffee. Molly and Sue chased each other in the front yard with the dog nipping at their heels. Marge came out and sat next to Kate.

  "You've been here going on three months now, Kate."

  "Yes, and the time's passed quickly too. Probably because I've been so busy."

  "You've done a good job at Red Oak. I wasn't confident you'd make it past the first day. But you hung in there, you never gave up, no matter what happened," Marge smiled to herself, having caught sight of Kate's comical adventures with the various animals and equipment.

  "I wanted to succeed here, I wanted to be able to do the job and do it right."

  "And now that you have, I'm wondering how much longer you're planning on staying around."

  "Why? Do you want me to leave?" Kate asked.

  "No, no, that's the problem. Molly looks up to you like a big sister, Eddie and the other guys like you. Me and Burt are getting used to having you around, not to mention the animals. But I figure someone like you won't be here forever. I don't wanna wake up some morning soon and find you've had enough and just taken off..."

  "I'm happy with how things are right now, I'm not planning on leaving," Kate assured her.

  "Kate, you're smart and pretty, I know there's a lot of other things you could be doing with your life other than working your hands raw on a ranch."

  "I don't know what my life's ambition is at this point. At one time, I thought I was going to be a nurse, I was almost done with school. But I'm a different person now and I don't want to do that anymore, I can't even tell you why.

  But I am sure about a few things; the work I do here is hard as hell, but it's meaningful, it's real, it gives me direct results without any hassles from phony people or the vicious politics of a corporation or hospital or any kind of business a person finds in the city. I like the animals, I like the earth, the smell of the hay, seeing the sun come up when I'm out walking in the fields, the way the prairie stretches on for endless miles. I can't quite explain it..."

  "You just did, you sound like a rancher. Well, whatever you decide to do or whenever you decide it, you're welcome to stay here."

  "Thank you, Marge. I appreciate everything you and Burt have done for me," she said with sincerity as she gave Marge a hug.

  Marge smiled at her, not one for words. They continued to swing back and forth, listening to the songs of the night's insects while watching Molly and her crazy dog dart through the yard, laughing the entire time.

  The cows had been impregnated months ago and were presently due to give birth. It was an exciting time on the ranch, but also an anxious one. Cows giving birth was not a simple matter. As a matter of fact, most of the calves would need to be pulled out of their mothers by the assistance of human hands or pulling equipment. Half of the pregnant moms would give birth now and the other half about a month later.

  Everyone at Red Oak helped out with the labor process, as the cows had to be checked consistently every two or three hours. All of the hands were putting in extra hours, even Molly helped because there were so many cows ready to calve.

  The majority of the cows delivered without incident, though they were still arduous births. By the time the last calf was to be born two weeks later, it was going on four o'clock in the morning. Most of the hands went straight to work again and would grab a nap during their lunch break.

  On her way back to the house to check on Molly, who was hopefully sleeping, Marge told Kate to remain with Tray. The last cow was having a hard time, it was obvious that complications had set in. Both cow and humans were depleted as Tray desperately tried to do whatever he could to avoid surgery, but he just couldn't turn the calf with his hands or pull it out. Kate quickly set up his instruments as he instructed her, while he prepared the cow for an emergency procedure. She didn't have time to be nervous or sick to her stomach as she assisted him the best she could, trying to soothe the cow at the same time with her gentle voice. Having to cut the uterus open to get a calf out was not uncommon, unfortunately when Tray opened her up, he saw the placenta was abnormally attached to many other organs in the cow's body which caused her to bleed out. Not giving up for a long time in attempts to resuscitate the cow, Tray ended up saving the calf but losing the mother.

  The ordeal not over yet, they had to wait and see if another cow would welcome the newly orphaned calf into her family. If not, Molly would have been only too happy to bottle feed and raise it. Luckily, a gentle female that Kate had suggested did not seem to mind as this calf took his turn suckling next to her own.

  Despite the sadness, Kate was pleased that the calf had found a family. However, Tray remained very upset at the death of the mother. He hated losing any animal's life. Filthy, smelling horrible, clothing caked with sweat, dirt and a ton of blood, he got up from where he'd been kneeling beside the dead cow. Kate didn't say a word as she helped him gather all his instruments and clean up the huge mess. They worked to
gether in silence until the job was done. The body would have to be disposed of and then there was the job of trudging back down to the house to give Marge the bad news.

  Kate trailed behind him, each too tired to talk and there wasn't anything to say. Kate went into the bathroom the minute they walked in the kitchen door. She tried not to vomit as she washed up a little while Tray spoke to Marge. She heard the door close hard as she came out. Marge was still standing at the sink.

  "I'm sorry about what happened, Marge," said Kate.

  "I know, I am too but these things happen. I'm sure you and Tray did your best. Are you okay?"

  "Yeah, though I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay awake," she replied tiredly.

  "Do me a favor, could you please drive Tray home. I know he's beyond exhausted and upset. He's too damn stubborn to stay here and rest, he's been known to pull over and sleep in his truck. But I think he deserves to get home to a decent bed. Just call me when you get there and I'll send Eddie to pick you up."

  Kate was too drained to argue, she imagined he'd fight with her about the whole arrangement, but she couldn't say no to Marge. She plodded outside and found him sitting in his truck, rubbing his eyes, futilely attempting to wake himself up.

  She walked up to his window and opened the door, "you can't even see straight. Move over, I'm supposed to drive you home."

  "Says who."

  "Says Marge."

  "I'm fine, I've done this a million times before," he objected.

  "Well, you're older now and you look like hell," she replied, not in the mood to take any guff.

  He just looked at her, unable to supply a clever comeback, and moved over.

  "Where's your place?" she asked.

  "Ten miles east on 625, then turn off on Fieldstone Lane. It'll be a couple of miles up that road."

  "Got it."

  She started the engine of his powerful pick up and took off. Tray fought to stay awake as she drove, partly because he wanted to show her how he didn't need her to be doing this and also because he wasn't comfortable with someone else driving his vehicle. He dozed off after five minutes, periodically waking up with a start and glancing over at Kate.