Everything Changes
Page 1
Table of Contents
Synopsis
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-two
Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-five
About the Author
Soliloquy Titles From Bold Strokes Books
Synopsis
Seventeen-year-old Raven Walker has never had a boyfriend. She’s never really been interested in boys. But she was always too afraid to examine what that might mean. Until she meets Morgan O’Shea and finds herself inexplicably drawn to her.
As their friendship develops, Raven is forced to face the possibility that her interest in Morgan might actually be attraction and that she might be gay.
Acknowledging the possibility opens Raven’s world to the excitement of her first romance, but it also leaves her struggling to come to terms with her sexuality and the impact it will have on her relationships with her family and friends.
Everything Changes
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Everything Changes
© 2014 By Samantha Hale. All Rights Reserved.
ISBN 13: 978-1-62639-255-7
This Electronic Book is published by
Bold Strokes Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 249
Valley Falls, New York 12185
First Edition: September 2014
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Credits
Editors: Lynda Sandoval and Cindy Cresap
Production Design: Susan Ramundo
Cover Design By Gabrielle Pendergrast
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to Helen, for making me not just a better writer, but a better person. To Angele, for being a sounding board, a confidante, and a friend. And to Lisa & Nate, for your continued support and encouragement. This novel would never have been written if not for you.
Chapter One
There are two kinds of truth. There is the truth we tell so, technically, we are not lying, and there is the deeper, fuller truth. Raven was telling the truth when she told her friends she wasn’t interested in any of the guys at school. That she had known most of them for far too long and too well to think of them in a romantic sense. Some of them she’d known since kindergarten and had seen through gapped teeth, knobby knees, braces, and voice changes. It was hard to think about kissing a guy you’d witnessed eat paste on a dare in third grade, or throw up his lunch at the fair in sixth.
The deeper, fuller truth was, Raven wasn’t interested in any guys. She didn’t watch movies and wait for the lead actor to take his shirt off. She didn’t whistle at guys on the street like Summer did, or notice that the guy at the coffee shop who’d smiled at her was cute, like Chloe did.
She was seventeen years old and had never had a serious boyfriend. She’d never even really kissed a guy. There had been a few dates—one or two that ended in a good night kiss, but nothing more than a quick peck.
It was something she tried not to think about, too afraid of the implications to examine her feelings more closely. For the most part, she was able to shove it aside. But it was hard sometimes, when it seemed like all around her were happy couples and constant reminders that she didn’t feel the same way about guys as her friends did. Chloe and AJ had been together for almost two years now, and it was clear from the way her face lit up when she talked about him that she was completely into him, and Summer was such a flirt, she hadn’t been with anybody steady for a while now, though she’d had a few boyfriends.
It didn’t help though, with Valentine’s Day coming up, all she’d heard about for the past week and a half was everyone’s romantic plans, and it once again brought everything to the surface.
“I hate Valentine’s Day,” Raven announced at lunch that day as she tossed her backpack onto the floor and took the empty seat across from Chloe and Summer.
“Problem, Rae?” Chloe asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Damn right I have a problem. Valentine’s Day. I swear if I see one more stupid paper heart or cupid cardboard cutout…” She let out a frustrated sigh. She’d just come from a student council meeting, of which she was a member, and all everyone could talk about was the upcoming occasion. And what they should do for it. One person suggested candy-grams. Another roses. Raven had made an excuse and bailed before they could even start talking about the dance.
“Why don’t you just ask someone out?” Chloe suggested. “I heard Derek is single again. Didn’t he have a thing for you last year?”
“Derek?” Raven shrugged. Derek Nast was in their grade. She supposed he was cute. He was tall and lanky, with wavy brown hair that fell down into his eyes and a quick, easy smile. He was a nice guy. They’d worked together on a history project last year and gotten along well.
She wasn’t really interested in going out with him though. Especially not with the on-again, off-again relationship he seemed to have going with Chelsea Hanes. They’d broken up and gotten together a half dozen times since the beginning of the year.
“I don’t want to date a guy just so I’ll have someone to take me out for Valentine’s Day.”
“Julia’s having a dinner party that night. A couple of her single friends from school,” Summer said. “Want to crash it with me?”
Julia was Summer’s older sister. She was two years older than them and a freshman in college. Summer, Chloe, and Raven had grown up tagging along after her. Over the years, they had gone from being annoying tagalongs to friends.
Julia had stayed close; her school was less than an hour away, and she came home often, bringing friends with her most of the time. Raven had spent enough time hanging around them at the house that it wouldn’t be awkward or weird for her to join them for the evening.
“Is your mom cooking?” Raven asked. Mrs. Mitchell was an amazing cook. She had been a chef before leaving work to have kids.
“Probably. She’ll help at least. Julia’s okay, but Mom’s cooking…”
Raven nodded. She knew.
“Sold.”
“Great. I’ll call you later with the details.”
“Thanks, Summer,” Raven said, feeling a little better now.
Chapter Two
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Having Julia’s party to look forward to made the rest of the week bearable. Raven found she wasn’t quite so annoyed by all the pink and red paper hearts plastered over nearly every available flat surface at the school or the overly sappy commercials for diamond rings and gold necklaces that played repeatedly on TV each night.
She was even starting to look forward to Valentine’s Day. Going to a dinner party with friends wasn’t quite the same as having someone to be with, but she decided to make the most of it. Especially considering it would probably be her last social outing for a while. Midterms were the following week, and when Raven’s parents saw her marks, she would be grounded for the foreseeable future.
It wouldn’t matter to them that the failing grade was in art. Her parents were both firm believers in a well-rounded education. And both of them had excelled in the arts. Her mom had been a dancer, and her father had busked his way through college. Nor would it matter that the rest of her grades were good. Even though it was only one class tripping her up, it would be enough to put her into the proverbial doghouse for a long while, so Raven was going to make the most out of what was likely to be her last weekend of freedom.
With that in mind, she found herself getting into the spirit of the holiday a little. On Friday before classes started, she bought a couple of the chocolate candy-grams that the student council was selling and sent them to Summer, Chloe, and AJ, cheesy message and all.
And on the way over to Summer and Julia’s for dinner, she stopped at the corner store and picked up a flower for Julia, as a thank-you for letting her crash her dinner party. She wanted to get a rose, but those were ridiculously expensive this time of year so she got a carnation instead. It was pink and smelled sweet, so she figured that was good enough.
Summer had said dinner was at seven thirty, so Raven showed up around quarter to and let herself in the side door. She had been letting herself into and out of this house for so long now that she really didn’t even give it a second thought. She and Summer had been friends since the first day of kindergarten, when they’d literally run into each other on the playground. They’d spent the rest of the day in the nurse’s office together holding ice packs to their injuries and had been inseparable ever since. Even if Raven’s nose still had a bump in it from being broken and Summer had a small scar on her bottom lip from where she’d bitten it almost completely through on impact. The Lewis household was just as familiar and comfortable to her as her own.
As she hung up her coat and kicked off her boots in the mudroom, she could hear the murmur of conversation coming from the kitchen, so after shedding her winter wear she headed down the hallway toward the sounds. She found Summer and Julia in there along with a mess of pots, pans, plates, and an array of silverware strewn across the counter.
“Looks more like a science experiment than a meal,” she commented, taking note of the various bowls of seasonings and spices on the table and the measuring cups alongside them. “Smells kind of like it, too.”
She was joking about that. Whatever Julia was cooking, it smelled amazing. Two seconds in the room and already Raven’s mouth was watering.
Julia rolled her eyes and went back to stirring whatever was boiling in the pot on the stove.
“I got you something.”
Julia glanced warily over her shoulder, and Raven held up the flower she’d purchased at the corner store.
“Aww, Raven, how sweet.” She mimed wiping a tear from her eye.
“Well, if you don’t want it…” Raven made a move to take it back, but Julia grabbed the stem from her hand.
“Never said that. Thanks, Rae. It’s very pretty.” Julia gave her a one-armed hug and sniffed deeply. “Smells nice, too.”
“Geez, Jules. You’re all covered in food stuff.” Raven squirmed out of Julia’s grip and examined her outfit, checking to make sure none of the sauce that had spilled down Julia’s apron had gotten onto her clothes. She hadn’t exactly gotten all dressed up or anything, just a pair of black jeans and a deep purple blouse, but still, she didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening with dinner all down her side.
“Relax. You’re fine.”
It was Raven’s turn to roll her eyes as she pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and slid onto it.
“So, what are you making?”
“Salad, spicy ravioli stuffed with ricotta cheese, garlic bread, and for dessert, chocolate mousse.”
“Mom made the noodles this morning,” Summer supplied. “And Jules has been perfecting her sauce for days now. It’s amazing.”
“I can’t wait,” Raven said. She had barely eaten anything all day in anticipation of tonight’s meal. “Need a taste tester?”
“Nope. You’ve got to wait and taste it along with everybody else.”
Raven had figured as much, but it had been worth a shot. “Speaking of, who else is coming tonight?”
“Cindy, Olivia, and Morgan.”
Two out of the three, Raven knew. Cindy was one of Julia’s roommates, and Olivia was a friend from her program. Raven had met them both on several occasions and liked them both. Morgan, Raven had never met but had heard mentioned a few times.
“They should be here any minute. Do you guys mind getting the table set up?”
“Mind, yes,” Summer said. “But will we? Of course.”
“And don’t break anything, okay? Mom will kill me.”
“In that case…” Summer gave her sister a devious smile as she stood and tugged Raven up out of her chair. The two of them exited into the dining room to the sounds of Julia muttering something about wishing she were an only child.
Chapter Three
“Hey, Raven. There you are,” Summer called out as she strode into the living room. As if she had not just left her sorting silverware in the dining room a few minutes ago. Raven rolled her eyes and ignored her, offering a wave and a “hey” to the room in general, as she took a seat on the couch next to the only unfamiliar face.
“So, I’m going to take a wild guess and say, you must be Raven,” Morgan said, half turning in her seat to face Raven as she spoke.
“Uh…yeah. That’s me.” Raven found herself slightly tongue-tied in facing probably the prettiest girl she had ever seen.
“I’m Morgan.”
Raven simply nodded.
Her reactions were a bit slow as she raised her arm to shake the proffered hand, but she managed to wrap her fingers around Morgan’s and give a solid squeeze. She shivered slightly as callused fingertips slid against her skin as Morgan pulled away.
“Nice to meet you,” she murmured belatedly, wincing slightly at the way her voice cracked a little on the last word. She licked her lips and cleared her throat as she tried to think of something else to say.
“You too.” Morgan shifted, settling herself more comfortably on the couch, drawing one knee up beneath her as she draped an arm along the back of the couch. “So, what brings you to our little lonely hearts dinner?”
“Julia’s cooking,” Raven said with a shrug. “What about you?” She found it hard to believe that a pretty girl like Morgan wouldn’t have received some offers.
“My girlfriend and I broke up just before school started. It was pretty rough. I’m just not ready to start dating again.”
Raven’s breath caught in her throat at Morgan’s words.
“Wait, you’re gay?” The question was out before she could censor herself, and she clapped a hand over her mouth in horror before anything else could spill out unintended.
Beside her, Morgan stiffened, the hand resting along the top of the couch tensed into a fist, the muscles in her cheek jumped as she clenched her jaw.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Raven mumbled around her fingers, before slowly letting her hands fall into her lap. “That was rude. I’m sorry.” She ignored the buzzing in her head and the way her pulse picked up at the news, and focused on her apology. “I’m not usually such a spaz. Please, just forget I even said that.”
Beside her, M
organ relaxed, sagging back against the arm of the couch with a nod. Raven offered a smile and was pleased to see Morgan offer an answering one. “What I meant to say was, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you,” Morgan murmured softly. “But I’d really rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure. Yeah. I get that.” Raven nodded and then fell silent. She wracked her brain for something else to say, some other topic of conversation to guide them away from the awkwardness that now hung in the air between them. But it was hard to think of anything aside from the fact that the girl sitting next to her was gay. Morgan’s hand, the one that rested on the back of the couch just inches from her shoulder, with its callused fingertips and clear-polished nails, held hands with other girls. And her eyes kept drifting to Morgan’s lips. She couldn’t help but wonder if it felt different, kissing girls.
Her musings were cut short just then, as Julia came in to announce that dinner was ready. The wonderful smells from the kitchen had started drifting into the living room so nobody had to be told twice to get moving, and within moments, they were seated around the dining room table, passing serving plates back and forth and handing around the condiments. The next few minutes were mostly silent as everyone sampled their food, which was delicious. The homemade vinaigrette on the salad was the perfect mix of sweet and spicy, the ravioli practically melted in your mouth, the noodles were so soft and tender, and the sauce was, as Summer promised, amazing.
“Wow, Jules. You really should think about following your mom into a career as a chef,” Olivia said after her first few bites. The rest of the table murmured their agreement.
“I think you’ve just ruined all other food for me,” Morgan added. “I don’t know how I’m going to go back to eating cafeteria food now.”
“How come you never cook like this at school?” Cindy asked. “The last time you made dinner it was macaroni and cheese. From a box. You know that’s not going to fly anymore, right?”