Everything Changes

by Samantha Hale

  Julia just laughed. “You do know we couldn’t afford to eat like this every night, right?”

  “I don’t care. I’ll be poor if it means I get to eat like this all year.”

  Raven let the conversation swirl around her, unable to focus or follow what the others were talking about. If anyone noticed that she was unusually silent throughout dinner, nobody commented on it.

  It was Summer who pulled her out of her reverie as Julia cleaned up the dinner plates in preparation for dessert. Raven caught the end of her question, something about a last meal, and her brain scrambled to catch up, to figure out what Summer was talking about so nobody would notice she hadn’t been paying attention.

  “What do you mean, last meal?” Olivia asked, inadvertently clueing Raven into what Summer had said. A memory of a conversation at lunch the day before sprung into her head.

  “Midterms are next week,” Raven began her explanation. “And when I fail one of mine, my parents are going to kill me. I’m a dead man walking, and this is my last meal. And it was amazing.” She raised her voice for the last part so Julia would hear her in the kitchen.

  “You really think you’re going to fail your exams?” Olivia asked.

  “Just one of them. Art history. But it’ll be enough to piss my parents off.”

  “Well, you know, I’m an art major,” Morgan said. “If you want, I could help you cram over the weekend.”

  Raven glanced over at the girl she’d met only a few hours ago who had just offered to give up some of her weekend to help her study. The same one she’d been silently scrutinizing all night. Guilt warred with relief. “You would do that?”

  “Sure. Beats the nothing I had planned.”

  Raven couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Whatever. I’ll take it.”

  Chapter Four

  An hour later, they’d finished with dessert and had moved into the living room for a couple of decidedly unromantic movies. Julia had downloaded an assortment of action and horror flicks, anything she could find where someone or something got blown up.

  Raven found herself squeezed in between Summer and Morgan on the couch, and the forced shoulder to hip contact was making her restless. The entire left side of her body was warm and tingly from the heat of Morgan so close to her. Morgan’s hand rested against the side of her leg, and Raven was struck with the thought that it would be effortless to reach over and take it. She shook her head, trying to dispel the idea.

  She tried to shift away, creating some space between them, but that had her leaning into Summer, who squirmed and wiggled against her weight, until finally elbowing her in the side to get her to move. Reluctantly, Raven eased into her original position, bringing her shoulder back to brushing up against Morgan’s. A tremor ran down her arm at the contact.

  She tried to ignore it and focused on the screen in front of her, but she couldn’t quite get the nearness of Morgan out of her head. With that awareness came the memory of her earlier musings, of what it would be like to kiss a girl. She imagined it would be soft. Morgan’s lips looked soft. Soft and shimmery. They’d probably taste like vanilla, or maybe cherry. She licked her own lips at the thought, imagining the feeling of Morgan’s lips ghosting against her own, soft and supple and—she jerked in place, her entire body flushed and buzzing.

  “Stop fidgeting,” Summer said, jabbing her once again with her elbow.

  “Sorry.”

  “What is with you?”

  “Can’t get comfortable.”

  “You okay?” Morgan’s voice in her ear startled her, and the hand on her knee made her jump. She was on her feet without conscious thought of doing so and felt a blush heat her cheeks as she realized all eyes were on her.

  “I have to pee,” she announced.

  “Yeah, thanks for sharing,” Julia muttered, shaking her head.

  Still blushing, Raven retreated from the room and escaped down the hall to the bathroom. She shut and locked the door behind her then leaned heavily against it, trying to calm her racing heart.

  “What the hell was that?” she whispered, closing her eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath. Had she really just imagined kissing Morgan?

  She shook her head, trying to clear it, but the images remained.

  It doesn’t mean anything, she told herself. She repeated the phrase over and over again, until her breathing had calmed and her heart rate had slowed.

  Raven returned to the living room and settled on the floor in front of the couch, using it as a backrest and a shield from Summer’s quizzical glances and the close contact bumping of knees and shoulders as she tried to concentrate on the movie playing across the TV screen. But the movie was already halfway through, and she just couldn’t seem to catch up on it.

  *

  “That was fun,” Summer said as she pushed open the door of her room and strode across it to flop down onto her bed. “I’m glad you came.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Raven agreed. She’d had a good time, despite some of the weirdness of the evening. “We need to find another occasion for Julia to cook, soon,” she added, dropping into the beanbag chair in the corner.

  “What’s the next holiday? Easter?” Summer murmured. “No, St. Patrick’s Day’s next month—think we could talk her into making us a meal?”

  “Since when are you Irish?”

  “It’s St. Patty’s day; everyone’s Irish.”

  “Yeah, I want to watch when you try and sell that one to Jules.”

  Summer made a noncommittal humming noise and rolled onto her side to face Raven. “I’m going to miss you when your parents lock you away in your room.” Though her words were teasing, there was a hint of seriousness in her voice.

  “Maybe it won’t happen. Maybe studying with Morgan this weekend will help.”

  “Hey, yeah, maybe,” Summer said, her expression brightening at the prospect. “It was cool of her to offer to help you study.”

  Raven nodded. It really was. Morgan didn’t have to offer up part of her weekend to help Raven out, but she had. “She seems really nice.”

  “Oh, yeah, Morgan’s great.”

  “You don’t think it’s…awkward that she’s gay though?” Raven broached the subject carefully.

  Summer frowned . “No. Why should it matter?”

  “I’m not saying it does. I’m just…doesn’t it bother you, even a little, that she makes out with other girls?”

  Summer’s frown deepened. “No, it doesn’t. I had no idea you were such a homophobe.”

  “I’m not. Summer, I’m not. I like Morgan, okay? It’s just…” She shrugged, not quite sure what she was getting at. She certainly couldn’t tell Summer that she’d imagined what it would be like kissing another girl after learning Morgan was gay. “Never mind, all right?”

  Chapter Five

  By eleven, Raven was ready and on the road to the university. Mid-morning traffic was light, and she made good time, arriving ten minutes before their scheduled meeting. This was even with the stop she made for coffee and pastries. It took her a few minutes to find a parking spot, and she got turned around a couple of times making her way across the campus to the library, so by the time she found Morgan in the study carrels, she was no longer early, nor was she late, exactly.

  Morgan looked up as she approached and offered a smile. “Hey. You find your way okay?”

  “I managed,” Raven said as she slid into the chair across from her. She didn’t want to admit that she’d gotten lost even if it was probably fairly obvious she had. She’d been on campus a few times before, but she’d never had to navigate her way around. Julia had been around to play guide.

  “I come bearing gifts,” she added, opening her messenger bag and pulling out the wrapped Danish she’d bought earlier. The coffee was long gone, and there was really no way she would have been able to sneak it inside anyway, but she’d saved the pastries to share. After a quick glance around to make sure nobody was in sight, she carefully unwrapped the bag and placed it on the table betwe
en them. “Breakfast of champions.”

  “Breakfast?”

  “Well, more like brunch now, I guess. But it’s the thought that counts, right?” She offered a winning smile and Morgan laughed softly.

  “I suppose. And it has been a while since breakfast.”

  Raven glanced at her watch then at Morgan. “What time did you get up this morning?”

  “Six.”

  “As in, a.m.? On a Saturday?”

  “Yeah, I wanted to get some time in at the studio before we met.”

  “There is something wrong with you,” Raven said with a shake of her head.

  “Just get your books out.”

  With a roll of her eyes, Raven dug into her bag and pulled out the textbook and her binder of notes and previous tests. Wordlessly, she handed them over to Morgan and averted her eyes as Morgan began flipping through. She was embarrassed for Morgan to know how badly she’d been doing in class and had the overwhelming urge to tell Morgan that the rest of her grades were good, that she was doing well in her other subjects. It was ridiculous, really, because Morgan already knew she was failing—that’s why they were here. That didn’t stop the blush from heating her cheeks as Morgan let out a soft, “ouch” at one of her test scores and winced at another.

  “I know, right?” she said, trying to shrug it off.

  Morgan glanced up at her. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you even in this class?”

  The wrong way? Was there a right way to take a question like that? Because as far as Raven could tell, it stung any way you took it.

  “I needed an art credit. And if you think this is bad, you should hear me try to play an instrument.” It had come down to the fact that art history was the lesser of two evils when compared to her other option, music theory and composition. At least in this class she could fail quietly instead of out loud and in front of her peers.

  “Right. Got it.” Morgan fell silent as she opened the textbook.

  “Are you having second thoughts? Because if you don’t think you can help, that’s fine. No big deal.”

  “Raven, relax.” Morgan reached out and laid a hand over Raven’s. “I can help. I just need a minute to figure out the best way to work with you, okay?”

  Raven nodded mutely, unable to think or form words as she stared down at where Morgan’s fingers rested against her skin. Tracking her gaze, Morgan stiffened and pulled back. It took a moment for Raven’s brain to catch up to the situation, and when it did, she felt like a first-class jerk. Now Morgan probably thought she was some kind of homophobe, like Summer had last night.

  “I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh. “I’m being a jerk. I’m stressed and I’m taking it out on you, and you really don’t deserve it.”

  “It’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not. You’re giving up your Saturday for me, and the least I can do is be grateful.”

  “No, the least you can do is pass your exam so today won’t turn out to be a huge waste of my time,” Morgan said with a smile that took the sting out of her words.

  Raven nodded. “Okay. I put myself in your capable hands.”

  “Uh-huh.” Morgan didn’t actually roll her eyes, but the tone of her voice managed to give the impression that she had.

  It broke the tension that had settled between them, though, and brought Raven back to the issue at hand. She leaned forward, listening carefully as Morgan laid out a study plan.

  *

  By the time they called it quits for the day, Raven was actually feeling confident that, while she might not ace the exam, she would at least be able to pass it. All thanks to Morgan.

  “You’re in pretty good shape,” Morgan was saying as Raven gathered up her things and shoved it all back into her bag. “You’ve got a grasp on the different artists and their styles. Tomorrow, I’ll bring in a bunch of paintings and we’ll work on your interpretations of them.”

  “Tomorrow?” Raven paused in her movements and glanced over at Morgan. “What? No. You’ve already given up your Saturday to help me. I can’t ask you to waste your whole weekend.”

  “Do you want to pass this test or not?”

  “Of course I do. But—”

  “Then you need another day to study. It’s just one more day, okay? Is it really so bad spending time with me?” she teased her.

  Raven rolled her eyes and relented, knowing Morgan was right. Another day of cramming would do her a lot of good. And the thought of getting to spend some more time with Morgan was rather appealing as well.

  “I suppose I can stand another day with you,” she said with a heavy sigh. Then put all joking aside to thank Morgan for her time and effort.

  “Of course.”

  “You’ve got to let me pay you back,” she added.

  “You can do that by passing your test.”

  That wasn’t really what Raven meant. Morgan had done something for her, and Raven wanted to do something in return. “Let me buy you dinner.” It was the only thing she could think to offer.

  “You really don’t have to.”

  “C’mon, you’ve got to eat, right? You can stand my company long enough for a free meal can’t you?”

  Morgan laughed softly. “All right. Let’s go.”

  Chapter Six

  Since Morgan knew the area, Raven let her pick the restaurant. She chose a Chinese place a few blocks off campus, and Raven readily agreed. They bundled up in their coats and scarves and headed outside.

  It had been morning when Raven stepped into the library, and night had fallen while they were inside. It was a little disorienting to walk out into cold darkness, and she was content to be following Morgan’s lead at the moment. They walked quickly, hands stuffed into pockets, hats pulled down low over their ears, and within a few minutes, they stepped into the warmth of the restaurant.

  They were greeted by an elderly Asian man who grinned and nodded at them as he showed them to a booth in the corner before disappearing into the back room without a word. Raven slid onto the padded bench and glanced around, taking the place in. Paper lanterns were strung across the ceiling, and rice paper scrolls depicting waterfalls and paintings of dragons dotted the walls. Incense burned at the center of each table, and music played softly in the background. There were maybe two dozen booths and tables, and over half of them were full—a mixture of families and college kids.

  “Nice place.”

  “Yeah. It’s close to campus and it’s cheap.”

  “I hope that’s not the reason you chose it.” Raven hadn’t expected Morgan would take her somewhere outrageously expensive or anything, but she hadn’t wanted her to pick the cheapest place she could find, either.

  “It’s not. The food is good.”

  Raven caught her eye and held it, trying to determine if she was lying. When Morgan held her gaze firmly, she figured she was probably telling the truth and let it go.

  “You know, I’d never had Chinese food until I came here for school,” Morgan said. “Then Jules and a couple others brought me here one night, and now I’m in here at least once a week. I think I’ve eaten everything on the menu, probably more than once.”

  “Seriously?”

  “What, that I’m in here that much or that I’d never eaten it before?”

  “Well, both, actually. But I was thinking more that you’d never had it before. How is that even possible?”

  “There weren’t any Chinese restaurants in town. I guess from never having it, it wasn’t something I ever wanted.”

  Raven shook her head, unable to fathom growing up and never eating Chinese food. It had been a staple around her house. Though that probably had more to do with the hours her mom had worked as a nurse and her father’s unfailing ability to burn anything that wasn’t barbequed than anything else. That didn’t stop her from gently teasing Morgan about her “deprived upbringing.”

  The arrival of the waiter interrupted their conversation, and once they’d placed their orders and he departed, they moved on
to other topics. They chatted easily over dinner and dessert and lingered long after their plates had been cleared away.

  It was only as the wait staff began tipping the empty chairs up onto the tables and sweeping the floors around them that Raven glanced at her watch and realized they’d been there for almost three hours and the place was closing up.

  “I guess it’s time to call it a night,” she said, feeling reluctant to do just that.

  Morgan glanced down at the watch on her own wrist and let out a murmur of surprise. “Wow, I had no idea it was so late.”

  “Time flies and all that,” Raven said with a shrug as they stood and gathered their things.

  “Apparently.”

  The walk back to campus was quiet and brisk, the cold driving them on and bringing their conversation to a necessary halt. Even though Raven was reluctant for the night to end, she was grateful when they came upon the lot where she’d parked and the imminent warmth of the inside of her car. With frozen fingers, she dug into her bag for her keys and hit the button to unlock the car.

  “Thanks for today,” she said, turning to Morgan before opening her door. She meant for more than just the tutoring, and she hoped Morgan understood that.

  “No problem. I had fun. Now, please go before I freeze to death out here.”

  Raven laughed. “See you tomorrow.”

  Morgan surprised her by stepping in for a quick hug. As Morgan’s arms came around her shoulders, Raven’s heart ceased beating and her breath caught in her throat, even as her own arms came up to encircle Morgan’s waist, an automatic response. Then she was relaxing into the embrace, almost melting into Morgan’s arms, and had to bite her lip to prevent a contented sigh. It was Morgan who pulled away first, stepping back with a squeeze of her shoulders and an easy smile.

  “Night, Raven.”