Everything Changes

by Samantha Hale

  “No. I had fun.”

  “But?”

  Morgan shrugged. “I just wasn’t into it.”

  “Because you’re still not over your ex?”

  Morgan averted her gaze and shrugged again. Raven would have taken it as confirmation if not for the faint blush coloring Morgan’s cheeks.

  “Or because you’re into someone else?”

  Morgan was suddenly incredibly interested in her menu, keeping her eyes glued to it instead of looking over at Raven.

  “You are. You like someone. Who is it?” she asked, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

  “It’s no one.”

  “You have to tell me.”

  The idea of Morgan dating someone was uncomfortable, but still she pushed. She felt like it was her duty as Morgan’s friend to get her to confess. She might not have ever really been interested in anyone before, but she knew the signs.

  “Forget about it. Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Aww, come on, you have to tell me.”

  “Just drop it.”

  “Morgan. C’mon. Please?”

  “It’s you, Raven. All right? I’m attracted to you.”

  Raven stared at Morgan, stunned. She certainly hadn’t expected that. Nor did she expect the giddiness that the words caused. She tried to speak. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She didn’t know what to say. Not when Morgan’s words were causing two conflicting reactions. Knowing Morgan was interested in her was flattering, to say the least. The thought of holding her hand, hugging her, kissing her sent Raven’s heart fluttering in excitement, even as the concept of being with Morgan terrified her.

  “Look, Raven, I’m sorry, all right?”

  “You’re sorry? For what?”

  “I shouldn’t have said that. You have enough to deal with without me adding to it. You’ve been out a week and here I am hitting on you.”

  Had it really been only a week? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  “I’m the one who kissed you.” It was the only response she could think of.

  Morgan’s gaze came up to meet hers, though her stare was blank as if she were still processing what Raven had said. “What?”

  “Last weekend. I was the one who kissed you. Don’t tell me that my kiss was so memorable you’ve forgotten it already?”

  The joke fell flat as Morgan continued to stare at her.

  “I told you I’d been questioning myself for a while, right? That I knew but hadn’t really admitted it to myself.”

  Morgan nodded.

  “Well, did you ever stop and wonder why now? Why you?”

  “Because I’m the first lesbian you’ve met?”

  “All right, that’s part of it,” Raven had to concede. “But mostly it’s because I’m attracted to you, too. Have been since we met.”

  Morgan blinked at her, clearly stunned.

  “It was what finally made me admit it to myself.” She couldn’t help but reach out and lay her hand over Morgan’s, where it rested on the table.

  “Raven…” Morgan’s voice was a protest, a plea, but Raven barely heard it. Her focus was on the soft skin beneath her fingers and the warmth that radiated up her arm from the touch.

  “We shouldn’t,” Morgan said, even as she turned her palm upward and laced their fingers together.

  “I know the timing is wrong. But I can’t deny, this feels really nice.” She squeezed Morgan’s hand lightly for emphasis.

  “It’s not a good idea,” Morgan said softly, but she returned the pressure, squeezing Raven’s hand lightly.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Raven barely tasted her food, her entire focus was on Morgan sitting across from her. All her senses were attuned to how she felt in this moment, as she stopped fighting and allowed herself to luxuriate in the attraction. She reveled in the way her stomach fluttered and her heart sped up when Morgan caught her eye and smiled. And the heat that traveled up her leg when their feet bumped beneath the table.

  She’d never experienced this breathless giddiness, just from being in another person’s presence before she’d met Morgan, but if this is what a crush felt like, she had a newfound sympathy for what her friends had gone through over the years. She swore never to tease them about one ever again.

  Although they spent over two hours at the restaurant, lingering over dessert and coffee before finally calling it a night, it still seemed too soon when they got up to leave.

  “So, decor aside, what do you think of the place?” Morgan asked as they pulled on their coats and headed out.

  “This is my favorite restaurant,” Raven said. “And it has absolutely nothing to do with the food,” she added with a grin.

  Even in the dim light of the parking lot, she could see the blush rise on Morgan’s cheeks as she glanced over and gave Raven a wide smile.

  “Well, aren’t you charming.”

  Then it was her turn to blush as Morgan reached out and took Raven’s hand in her own. She thought, for a brief moment, she might have a heart attack, the way it seized in her chest and then beat so loudly that it echoed in her ears.

  They walked slowly back toward the campus, hands linked, shoulders brushing together with every step.

  She felt a pang of disappointment when they reached the outer perimeter of the parking lot and she spotted her car silhouetted beneath the streetlight in the near distance. As if able to read her mind, or perhaps feeling the same way, Morgan’s grip tightened and she stepped closer. Despite a deliberate slowing of their steps, all too soon they stood in front of Raven’s car.

  Without dropping her hand, Raven turned to face Morgan. She remembered the last time they’d been here in this parking lot, how she’d kissed Morgan and then run away. She didn’t want to run away this time.

  An expectant silence hung between them. She knew Morgan was waiting for her to make the first move, to either close the distance between them or drop her hand and climb into her car. She knew what she wanted to do. She also knew if she did, there would be no taking it back.

  The first time she’d kissed her, and then run away, Morgan had forgiven her. She’d understood Raven was feeling lost and confused. If she did it a second time, she wouldn’t be so understanding. If she kissed Morgan now, it would mean something. There could be no running away. She had to be sure it was what she wanted.

  Using their still joined hands, she tugged Morgan forward and pressed her lips against Morgan’s. As far as kisses went, it was perfect, soft and sweet, and when they pulled apart, it left her wanting more.

  Raven couldn’t help the grin that threatened to split her face. And from the smile Morgan was sporting, neither could she.

  “That was nice,” Raven said softly.

  “Yeah.”

  Morgan leaned in and kissed her again, and it was all Raven could do to keep her legs from collapsing beneath her as she returned pressure to the lips against her own. When they pulled apart this time, she was breathless, but that didn’t stop her from leaning forward and capturing Morgan’s lips again. The moment was broken, though, as a car raced past on the road just a few feet away, brakes squealing as it turned the corner away from the school, making Raven realize they were making out in the middle of a parking lot. Feeling a little sheepish, she took a step back.

  “I had a great time tonight.” Such a cliché, but it needed to be said.

  “Me, too.”

  “When can we do this again?” She didn’t care if the question made her sound too eager.

  “Tomorrow?”

  Raven was about to agree when she remembered she had plans with Chloe the next day.

  “I can’t. I’m supposed to do something with my friend Chloe tomorrow. Sunday?”

  Morgan shook her head. “I’m booked in for studio time all afternoon, and I’m meeting with my study group after dinner. Monday?”

  “My dad needs the car.”

  Morgan let out a sigh. “And I’ve got late classes on Tuesday and Wednesday.”
>
  It was almost funny. Almost.

  “And I’ve got a student council meeting on Thursday. Friday?”

  “I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to wait another whole week to see you,” Morgan said. “But I guess it’ll have to do.”

  Raven couldn’t help but feel flattered by that. “All right then, Friday. It’s a date.”

  She felt a shiver at the words. She had a date next Friday. A date with Morgan.

  “I look forward to it,” Morgan said with a smile.

  “Me too.”

  As much as she would have loved to stay and chat with Morgan all night, she did have to be getting back.

  “I’ll call you later,” she promised as she dropped Morgan’s hand and reluctantly stepped away. She opened her car door, but before getting in turned and kissed Morgan one last time.

  “One for the road,” she said with a grin as she climbed in.

  *

  It was late when she got home, but Raven was much too wired to sleep. She had never come home from a date feeling like this. She wanted to dance around her room in excitement. Yet, she also wanted to lie quietly and remember every moment of this evening, every glance, every touch, and most importantly, every kiss. Just thinking about Morgan’s soft lips against hers sent a shiver down her spine. It was almost too much to take in.

  She said a quick good night to her parents, who were watching a movie in the living room, then hurried upstairs to her room before they could draw her into a conversation. There was no way she could be around them for more than a minute or two without them realizing something was up, and she wasn’t ready to tamp down this heady feeling just yet.

  Alone in her room, she paced back and forth, running the evening over in her mind. The way Morgan had looked with the light from the ugly green cactus in the center of the table dancing across her features, the way she smiled whenever her eyes met Raven’s across the table, and the softness of Morgan’s skin when she took Raven’s hand.

  She became aware of the fact that her cell phone was in her hand and opened, her fingers hovering over the keypad. Hastily, she snapped it shut and tossed it onto the bed, her heart pounding in panic at what she had almost done. Her first instinct whenever anything good or bad happened was to call her friends and share it with them. She had almost done that. Summer’s number had been all cued up without her even realizing it. What if Summer had answered? Would she have blurted out her secret before she was able to stop herself? Raven could feel her good mood fading, and she pushed the thoughts away before they could completely ruin her evening.

  Chapter Fourteen

  By the next morning, Raven’s excitement had faded, dampened by the nerves she felt at facing Chloe for the first time in almost a week. Not only would she have to look her in the eye while keeping not one, but two secrets from her, she’d have to apologize and try to explain where she’d been all week.

  A small part of her hoped Chloe would be too angry to want to spend the day together so she could avoid things for a little while longer. The larger part of her hated the thought of Chloe being mad at her and wanted to make things right. Or as right as they could be under the circumstances.

  Her heart hammered as she rang the bell, and her breath caught in her throat as she heard the lock click. She had to force a smile onto her face as the door started to swing open. A moment later, she found herself eye to eye with Chloe, and the apology she had worked on in the car all the way over here died on her lips.

  Chloe frowned mildly at her, and Raven wracked her brain for something to say, before finally settling on holding up the latte she had bought as a peace offering, hoping Chloe would take it as such.

  “I’m not supposed to take gifts from strangers,” Chloe said. Her tone was cold, but Raven could see the grin that was threatening to form. “Although, you do look familiar.”

  “I’m sorry I was a ghost all week. Exams. You know how my parents get.” It was not the most eloquent of apologies, but it was the best she could manage at the moment.

  A tense silence followed, and then Chloe took the cup from Raven’s grasp and stepped back to let her in. “I’m not quite ready yet. C’mon upstairs.”

  Raven breathed a sigh of relief that Chloe opted not to turn this into a long, drawn-out thing and dutifully followed her upstairs to her room.

  *

  When Chloe unbuttoned the blouse she was wearing and tossed it aside, Raven grabbed a book from the bedside table and turned it over to read the description. Even though Chloe’s back was to her, Raven was not going to sit here and watch her change.

  “What do you think of this shirt? Does it make my boobs look big?”

  Raven froze and felt a blush heat her cheeks. This wasn’t an unusual question from Chloe, who had always been a little insecure about her body. She had developed earlier than the other girls in their class, and while there were plenty who had not only caught up but surpassed her in the past couple of years, she was still self-conscious. Some of it was left over from the teasing and attention she had endured in the sixth and seventh grades, but also, she was still a bit of a tomboy. They all had been, at some point, hi-tops, baseball hats, and baggy shorts. They’d grown out of it, fashion-wise at least, but Chloe was an athlete. She played basketball and soccer and rowed and swam. She spent a lot of time being “one of the guys” and sometimes felt a little uncomfortable with her curves. Today could not have been a worse time for her insecurity to flare up, however.

  “Your boobs are fine.”

  “You’re not even looking.”

  Raven’s blush deepened, and she kept her eyes fixed on the book in her hands. “You want me to look at your boobs?”

  “Perv on me all you want. Just tell me if you think this top looks okay or not.”

  Chloe’s comment, oddly enough, eased some of the tension that had built up inside her. It was such an offhand, easy remark that it cut through some of the discomfort she’d been feeling.

  “You’re the one stripping in front of me, but I’m the perv? Yeah. Okay.”

  She finally raised her eyes in time to see Chloe grin and give her a little shimmy. Raven rolled her eyes.

  “The shirt looks good, Chlo.”

  “Just good?”

  Raven groaned. “It looks beautiful. Amazing. Sexy as hell.”

  Chloe narrowed her eyes, and Raven offered her most winning smile.

  “All right. Fine. Just give me five minutes to do my makeup.”

  “Uh-huh.” Raven knew Chloe’s five minutes would be more like ten, but that was all right; she was feeling a lot more comfortable than she had been when she walked through the door, and suddenly, the prospect of spending the entire day with Chloe didn’t seem so daunting.

  *

  “So, what exactly are we doing today?” Raven asked twenty minutes later as they climbed into Chloe’s car.

  “Well, I was thinking lunch at Andretti’s.”

  “Okay.” Raven drew the word out slowly, waiting for the rest of Chloe’s plan. She knew it was going to be something she wouldn’t like seeing as how Chloe had started off with Andretti’s, which was Raven’s favorite restaurant—next to the Mexican place Morgan had introduced her to.

  “And then skating in the park,” Chloe finished in a rush.

  “Skating? C’mon, Chloe.” She knew she was whining, but she couldn’t help it. Of all the things Chloe could have suggested, this was probably the worst.

  “We haven’t gone this year, and the rink will be closing soon.”

  “So make AJ go with you. Isn’t that part of his boyfriend duties?”

  “He’s at a football game with his dad.”

  “Chloe.”

  “You promised, whatever I wanted.”

  Chloe had her there. “Okay, fine. But when we have to spend the afternoon in the ER because I’ve broken something vital, no complaints out of you.”

  “You’ll be fine.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “I love you.”


  “Uh-huh.”

  It wasn’t so much that she was mad at Chloe for making her go skating as she was annoyed at being tricked into it. She never would have agreed to it on her own, so Chloe had used the promise she’d made against her. She didn’t hate skating—she was just really bad at it. Give her Rollerblades or a skateboard and she was fine, but put her on ice, and she was an uncoordinated mess.

  Unfortunately for her, Chloe and Summer were both excellent skaters, which meant she got dragged to the outdoor rink at least once a season. Of course she made up for it in the summer when she made them go to the fair and forced them onto at least a couple of rides. All in all, it was a fair trade, but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it at the moment.

  As if sensing her need to sulk for a little while, Chloe turned the radio up and they made the short drive without conversation. When they reached the restaurant, Chloe pulled into a spot near the entrance and turned to Raven with her most winning smile.

  “Come on, I’m starving. Someone made me wait like an hour while they got ready.” She was out the door before Chloe could come up with a reply. Chloe scrambled out after her, catching up with her just in time to step inside and be greeted by the hostess. Raven ignored the sharp jab to her ribs as she followed the woman to their table.

  “They’ve changed the menu,” Chloe commented as she scanned the cardboard placard in her hands.

  “Something new?”

  “Yeah, couple of things.”

  “As long as they didn’t take away any of the good stuff,” Raven said as she studied her own menu.

  They spent a few minutes going over the new menu, noting the changes before falling silent as they tried to decide what they wanted.

  “How hungry are you?” Chloe asked a minute or two later.

  “Why?”

  “Want to do appetizers?”

  Raven turned her menu to the appetizer section and scanned the selection. “What were you thinking?”

  “Potato skins, maybe. Or fried pickles. Or, hey, they have calamari.”

  “Potatoes or pickles, I’m in. But if you want to eat slimy tentacles, you’re on your own.”