Senseless Attraction

by Lila Rose

  “Oh, baby, are you okay?” she asked, planting a kiss on his cheek. She turned to me. “This is all you fault.” She glared.

  “You’re right.” I sighed and then turned to Kane. He didn’t have to do that for me, but he did. Why? “Thanks, I guess. Sorry to ruin your pretty face.” I smirked; he smiled back and shook his head. “Thanks again, though.” He nodded.

  I heard movement behind me and turned back to Josh, who was getting up from the floor holding his side. I went over to him, placed my hands on his shoulders, and kneed him in the spot I was always told never to hurt. He doubled over and then dropped to his knees.

  “And that’s for playing me. Don’t worry about what Kane said. You should be more scared with what I would do to you first,” I said and walked off.

  Mitch, Massie, and Javis all cheered. Jessie smiled; she knew better than to talk to me right then. Kane and Donna had disappeared somewhere.

  After all the commotion Saturday night, I decided not to watch a movie; I’d had my fill of action for the night. Instead, I caught another bus home with Jessie, who asked to spend the night. Of course, I said yes, because she had some answers to give me. As Jessie lay on a mattress next to my bed where I was sitting, she sighed deeply and began explaining. The first thing she told me was that when Josh and I were going steady a couple years ago, he had approached her to see him behind my back. When she declined—by hitting him in the balls—he went straight for another girl from a different school. She found that out by catching him down the street one afternoon, then promptly told him that he was nothing but a piece of shit on the bottom of her shoe, and that he had better inform me what he’d been up to. He didn’t, of course, because a couple of days after, his parents told him that they were moving.

  I asked her why she didn’t tell me herself. She snorted and informed me that I was so wrapped up in my tiny bubble of love that I wouldn’t have believed her, which would have caused us to fight, ending our friendship. I had fallen silent, pondering all that she’d said, and in the end, I concluded that she would have been right. I would have done exactly that. We hugged. I forgave her, and then continued to ask her if she knew about Josh’s new—old—whatever she was, girl, and if she’d known he was going to be there with her. She gave me one of her evil grins and nodded, saying that she’d overheard him on the phone with her, organising the movie date.

  She wanted me to see for myself. I thanked her and told her to never do that again. From then on, she had to just tell me, and if I didn’t believe her, she had permission to slap me and yell Josh. That made us both laugh.

  She had asked me if I was upset about what happened with Josh. I told her the truth—that I was a little, but I didn’t think my heart was really in it in the first place. She giggled and said it was because of Kane. I threw a pillow at her and told her to get stuffed. We both went on talking about what Kane had done for me in front of Donna. Which we knew would make Donna hate me even more. Jessie thought it had been very romantic. I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and told her I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

  Sunday, Jessie left early. Momma came home and went straight to bed, complaining of a long, boring night and promising that when she woke later, we’d go out for pizza. Being left to myself in the house wasn’t good. I didn’t know how many times I went to reach for the phone to ring Kane to see how he was. But I soon talked myself out of it.

  Monday morning, I walked into the kitchen to see Momma at the stove cooking; she turned to me and smiled.

  “Kane rang while you were in the shower.”

  My heart started to fly. Damn heart.

  “Yeah, what did he have to say?” I asked, trying to make myself sound bored.

  “Just that he won’t be at school today; his mother didn’t think it best for him to be seen in public looking the way he does.”

  “Oh.”

  “How does he look, Skylar?”

  “What makes you think I know?”

  “You have that guilty look. What happened? Lord, please tell me you didn’t dress him up in that gunk you call make-up?”

  I laughed, shook my head, and then sobered. “No, Momma.” I sighed. “You know how Josh and I got back together and that I went to the movies Saturday night with my friends?” She nodded. “Well, Kane and his girlfriend were there—”

  “Oh God, does this end in you kicking her butt and Kane jumping in?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, Momma, if you just let me finish.” She gestured with her hand. “So we were standing there talking, and then Jessie pointed out that Josh was there—”

  “Oh, that’s nice of him to turn up.” She smiled.

  “Momma, he had his tongue stuck down a girl’s throat.”

  “That little asshat! My word, I’m going to talk to his Momma—”

  “No, you can’t. Just shush for a second. Kane went up to him saying he shouldn’t treat me like that and they got in a big fight. Blood and guts—well, no guts actually, but blood, heaps of blood, pouring everywhere. I ended up breaking up the fight, and kicking Josh in the ribs and the balls. I thanked Kane. He disappeared with his girlfriend, and I came home with Jessie.”

  “Oh, my. Well, I do have to say you know how much I hate violence, but good for you girl for sticking him one. And Kane…” she gushed, “what a nice young gentleman. I knew I liked him for a reason.”

  “Why yes, Momma, isn’t he just the best?” I said in my best southern accent and fluttered my eyelashes at her.

  “No need for sarcasm, girl. You know you’re not too young to be spanked.”

  “That is just wrong to say, Momma, on so many levels. Anyway, did Kane say anything else?”

  “Oh yes, that he’ll still be coming around tonight.” She smiled.

  Thankfully, I’d already applied my white powdered make-up to hide the blush creeping up my neck.

  I made it through the day without Donna saying anything to me. Even though I could feel—many times— her cold, hard glare at the back of my head. At lunch, my friends could not stop talking about the fight, going through it play-by-play while I sat silently eating, smiling and nodding, or laughing when I had to.

  Finally, the day ended. I hadn’t seen Josh all day—probably hiding his wounded pride. I wondered what he’d told people if they asked.

  At home, I found Momma in the kitchen dressed in her work uniform and busy cooking dinner. I watched her for a while, humming to the radio that sat on the counter beside her, playing some country and western song I didn’t know. She swayed her hips while cutting up the potatoes.

  “Nice moves, Momma.” I smirked.

  She glanced over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out. “Sod off, you rotten child.”

  How very grown up she was. She was actually thirty-five, but acted and even looked like she was still in her twenties. Men still gawk at her when she’d be walking down the street. I knew from witnessing it with my own eyes. I kept telling her she could have any guy she wanted, and then she’d inform me that she was waiting for her special man to turn up and sweep her off her feet. Then she continued about how one day I would find my own special man and be swept away.

  “How was your day anyway, child of mine?” she asked as I helped myself to a coke.

  “Same, same. How long ‘til tea? I want to get in a shower.”

  “You have half an hour and I’ve made enough for you and Mr Kane. Or did you forget he is coming by tonight?” It was then she smirked and started laughing. “Of course you wouldn’t. Well, run along and get that disgusting stuff off your face.”

  “You know, sometimes I wonder who the witch is in this family.” I ducked as she threw a carrot at me, and bolted for the shower.

  I was just getting dressed when I heard a knock at the front door. He was early; I quickly jumped into some black tracksuit pants and a long-sleeved, striped, black and grey top. At the same time, I did my best to ignore the butterflies discoing in my stomach.

  I really had to stop that…somehow.


  Pulling the towel off my hair, I heard a squeal come from the front of the house. I realised it was Momma, and then she said, “Oh, who do we have here?”

  Maybe it wasn’t Kane after all.

  “Hi, Mrs James, this is Dommy, my little sister.” My juvenile heart started racing. “Hope you don’t mind that I brought her, but it’s Rosita’s day off and our parents were busy.”

  “Not at all. But you, Kane mister, I wanted to thank you for sticking up for my baby. The only terrible part is what happened to your gorgeous face. Come on, sweetheart, let’s get the cookies out. Kane, the beast is in her bedroom if you want to dare drag her out.”

  Gosh, Momma, how charming of you.

  Now, I definitely didn’t have time to reapply my make-up. I put my head back and sighed to the roof. Shrugging my shoulders, I moved to the closed door. As I opened it, I found Kane with his arm outstretched and ready to knock. He stood there frozen for a second, staring at me with his bruised right eye. The top of his nose between his eyes was also bruised.

  “What?” I grumbled.

  “Sorry, I think I have the wrong room; I’ve never seen you before. I’m Kane Stanley, and you are?” He smiled at me, holding out his hand for me to shake.

  I glared down at it, and then up at him. “Nice one, smartass. You’re just lucky you brought my favourite person in your family with you. At least now I won’t be bored out of my brain.” I went to push past him, but he stopped me by placing his hand on my shoulder.

  “No wait, it is you, Sky. I would never mistake that potty mouth or attitude anywhere.” He pulled me into a hug, his arms circling my shoulders. It shocked the hell out of me. “Thank the Lord, I thought you’d been taken over by some church-going girl, but as soon as you opened your mouth, I knew it was you.”

  All this because I wasn’t wearing my make-up. I mock-punched him in his ribs and pushed him back. I wanted to come across as annoyed or angry, but I couldn’t stop the smile forming on my face. “Keep going, jock head, and you’ll be punished.” I walked off.

  “That could be fun,” I heard behind me. He laughed as I tripped over nothing.

  What was the deal with his cheeky attitude tonight? I didn’t like it at all, because I liked it too much, if that made sense.

  “Sky!” I heard my name screamed, and then the small blonde monster barrelled into me. Only this time, I could actually say monster because she had on a fluffy blue costume, just like she was trying to be the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.

  “Hey, monster, you look really cool.” I smiled down at her, dislodging her arms from around my waist.

  “I knew you’d like it.” She looked up at me with a chocolaty mouth. “Wow, you look so pretty. But I love the make-up you wear.”

  “Thanks, Dom.” I gave Momma a smug look and raised my eyebrows.

  “Don’t give me that look, girl. Besides, she’s only five; she doesn’t really know what she likes.”

  “Yes I do,” Dommy pouted. “I like your cookies.” She smiled.

  “You’re right, Momma, she doesn’t know what she likes,” I teased.

  She snapped the tea towel at me. “Dommy, sweetheart, don’t you ever grow up and give your Momma cheek.”

  “Did you notice one thing though, Mrs James? Dommy said that Sky looks pretty without the make-up.” Kane grinned.

  “Why, yes she did. So that means she thinks you look ugly with it, but is still nice enough to say she likes it.”

  “Stop picking on, Skylar.” Dommy stomped. I loved having a five-year-old sticking up for me.

  “Yeah, stop it,” I mimicked.

  “All right, okay.” Momma laughed and then added, “Now, Dommy, let’s go and find some pencils and books so you can colour while these two work before dinner.”

  Dommy smiled happily and started off after Momma down the hall, but quickly changed her mind, running back over to me and saying, “You know, my dad told me once that people only pick on you because they really love you.”

  My eyes widened. I didn’t look at Kane in case he’d heard her hushed voice.

  “Thanks, Dommy.”

  “Not that I’ll pick on you, so don’t worry about that. I’ll just tell you I love you.” She pulled my arm until I was bent over, kissed me on the cheek, and then sped out the kitchen.

  “She’s something, isn’t she?” Kane said, and I could hear the humour and love in his voice.

  “She is.” I turned my back on him and opened the fridge, pretending to look for something that wasn’t there. “Look, while it’s quiet, I wanted to say thank you again, not that I think you should have done it. I can take care of myself. But, thank you.”

  “Wow, I really never expected those words to fall from your mouth. For some reason, I thought you were the type of girl who wouldn’t thank a person no matter the circumstances.”

  I shut the fridge with a snap, turned and leaned against it, with my arms crossed over my chest and a scowl on my face.

  Kane chuckled. “All right, sorry, just playing; you seem to bring it out in me.” He smiled, and then his expression sobered. “I know I didn’t have to, Sky, and I do know you can take care of yourself. But I couldn’t stand by and let him speak about you like that.”

  My heart wanted to fly through my chest to reach out to him.

  “Is that a blush? Oh, my God, I can actually see a blush on Miss Skylar’s cheeks,” he teased.

  “Stuff it up your nose, jock boy.” I glared and sat down at the table. He carefully pulled out a chair opposite me and sat. “So how’s Donna after the episode?” Why did I ask that?

  His shoulders hunched, his brow furrowed. “We’re having a break at the moment. She didn’t like the fact that I got into a fight over a girl I hardly know, and a Goth one at that.”

  I snorted, rolled my eyes, and opened the book in front of me. As I was trying to come across as calm on the outside, on the inside my stomach and heart played havoc.

  They were having a break? What did that mean exactly?

  “Sorry,” I uttered.

  “Honestly, I thought I’d be upset by those words. I mean, the ones where she said that things weren’t working between us and that we should go our separate ways…for now. But they didn’t; if anything, I felt relieved. Is that bad? I know I care for her; we’ve been together for what seems like forever. Still, now it’s…” He looked up from his own book and blushed, then scoffed. “Listen to me. You’re the last person who’d want to hear any of that stuff.”

  I turned away from his stare and mumbled, “I don’t mind; I like the fact that you want to talk to me about things that are troubling you.”

  “But no advice though?”

  I looked at him as he smirked.

  “Sorry, I am totally the wrong girl for that crap. Josh was the longest relationship I’ve ever had, and look how that turned out. Besides, I don’t think I should give you advice about a person I don’t know, or like for that matter.”

  He barked out with laughter. “Point taken.”

  I could hear Momma and Dommy’s footsteps coming back from down the hall, so I turned my attention back to the book in front of me.

  “All right, we are ready. Look, sweetheart, I found your old colouring books Dommy can use, and your pencils and crayons.” She laid the things on the table at the opposite end from us. Dommy was enthralled by what they’d found and sat down without a word to start looking through the colouring books. “I’ll just get your dinners and then I’ll be off.”

  “Momma, I can get them if you wanted to leave early to get one of those coffees you like.”

  “Someone hold me before I fall. Was that really my daughter being thoughtful?”

  I rolled my eyes. I was always thoughtful; well, with Momma I was. Okay, I tried to be.

  “Thank you for the thought, baby, but that’s okay.”

  She busied herself with dinner, while Kane and I began finalising our written reports. Then we’d move on to the verbal presentation. We decided to collabo
rate all the information left out of our written one into a big cardboard sheet, instead of having hand cards to go off. I loved the thought because it gave me the chance to use one of those pointy stick things the teachers used to bang on their desk to get your attention and scare the crap out of you.

  I’d say that by the end of the night we’d have it done, so that meant things between Kane and myself would soon come to an end.

  Why did that leave me with a feeling of emptiness inside?

  While Momma ran off to refresh her makeup, and Dommy had followed to watch, I tapped Kane on the arm to get his attention. Once he looked up smiling, I asked, “So, I guess if we get all this finished tonight, I won’t have to suffer through more of your company and come to your house on Saturday?”

  His smile faded. “I think you may be right; we should have this done by tonight, and I’d hate to think of you suffering in my company.” He went back to work.

  Damn me and my big sarcastic mouth.

  “Kaddy, I thought you were going to ask Sky to that thing at our house Saturday night,” Dommy said, coming to sit back at the table smiling sweetly.

  I turned back to Kane; he didn’t look too impressed by Dommy confessing something they had obviously talked about.

  “I don’t think Skylar would really be interested. It’s not her scene. And I’m thinking that she’ll be relieved to get this assignment done with so she doesn’t have to spend any more time with me.” His raised his eyebrows at me, as if to say take that.

  Dommy gasped. “Is that true, Sky? You don’t like my brother?” She really sounded upset by the thought that I could have any ill feelings for Kane.

  “No, it’s not that. I was only joking before. I like your brother, and being around him gives me a chance to see you, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

  I thought that would have felt like a lie, but I was surprised that I meant it. I liked spending time with Kane, and I really liked seeing Dommy.

  “Yay, great, so you’ll come Saturday night?”