Little Games of Love: A Novel

by Gabriela Paz

  “Not sure. Like five months maybe?” he said, uncertain.

  Okay, that was a while ago. The important question really was, were they still seeing each other? But before Leo even began asking, Stefano probably read his fearful expression and added, “I don’t know if she’s still seeing him. I’m only saying, be careful. I know you really like her, but you should test the waters first.”

  Leo didn’t want to hear any more of it. He had been on such a high, and now his heart felt like it had been stabbed. “I will be careful. Thanks for your concern,” he said as he made his way to his room.

  The truth was that it was too late for him to be careful. He already had such strong feelings he never dreamed of having before. Stefano had to be mistaken; or at least it had to be over between them. Why would she see him again after what he did to her? It didn’t make any sense.

  He remembered the first day they met at the beach when her hopeless look had caught his attention. That was all because of that idiot, and there was no way she had given him another chance. It killed him to be leaving so soon and not have enough time with her, but there was nothing he could do about it. He needed to see her again. He needed to confirm that what he was feeling had been real and, most importantly, that it was reciprocated.

  “I had an amazing day. I hope you did too. I really want to see you again tomorrow,” he texted her. He stared at his phone, hoping to get an answer right away. Suddenly it vibrated, and it was her.

  “Me too. It was amazing, thank you for taking me. I would love to see you again. What do you have in mind?”

  As Leo read the text, he let out a deep breath. At least it hadn’t been all in his head, and she wanted to see him again too. “How about bike riding in the early afternoon?”

  “That sounds nice, but I don’t have a bike.”

  “It’s okay. I will bring one for you. Meet me at the boardwalk near the cove at 2pm, ok?”

  “Sounds good. Can’t wait.” Eva wrote back with a wink smiley face.

  As Leo waited patiently for Eva to arrive that Saturday afternoon, he realized the weather didn’t look promising. He had borrowed Stefano’s bike without permission and was sitting on one of the benches near the beach. Normally he would have asked his brother for it, but he did not feel like explaining himself, especially knowing that he wasn’t fond of Eva. Leo took his phone out to look at the radar, but it seemed clear for the most part. The forecast predicted rain but not until later in the day.

  When Eva arrived, Leo greeted her with two kisses. “Hey! You look lovely,” he said. She was wearing these cute little jean shorts with a white tee that matched her converse shoes. Her hair was up in a ponytail, which reminded him of that time he had seen her running on the beach.

  “Hi.” She smiled. “Thank you! So do you.”

  “Did you sleep okay?” he asked.

  “I did. Had a lot on my mind, though, so it was hard to fall asleep.”

  “Anything bothering you?” Leo asked, worried.

  “No, the opposite. I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing you again today.”

  “Me too, ” Leo blushed as he gave her a kiss on the lips. He had been thinking about kissing her again all night, and as his mouth separated from hers, he realized he hadn’t been exaggerating about the way he felt for her.

  “I can’t remember the last time I rode a bike,” she exclaimed.

  “Don’t worry, we will only ride down the boardwalk. It’s perfect right now. There are not too many people.”

  Eva hopped on the bike and smiled, “Let’s go then. Catch me if you can!”

  Seeing her happily ride the bike made him picture what his future with her could look like. I am lost forever. “I thought you hadn’t ridden in a long time. Wait for me!”

  “Well, you shouldn’t believe everything I say!” she teased. “How far are we going?”

  “Let’s make it towards the pier.”

  “Alright,” she shouted as she slowed down to wait for him. “So, whose bike is this?”

  “My brother’s. He never uses it.”

  “Are you sure he’s okay with me riding it?”

  “Yeah. Why wouldn’t he be?”

  “Well, we weren’t exactly friends at school. He reminded me of you, and I tried to stay away from him.” Seeming uncomfortable with the topic, she quickly changed subjects. “Weather isn’t looking that great Leo, maybe we should stop somewhere now. It might rain.”

  He looked around and hoped the weather predictions hadn’t been wrong. “Nah, we are good. I checked the radar earlier, and it’s not supposed to rain until later.”

  “Okay, if you say so,” Eva smiled.

  It wasn’t even five minutes later when Leo started to feel drops on his neck. He glanced at Eva, a bit embarrassed, hoping she wasn’t looking at him, but she was. Stupid radar.

  “I told you,” she sneered.

  The rain started to get stronger by the minute, and Eva started to pedal faster. “Let’s go! We gotta make it to the pier before it pours!”

  “Go, go! I’m right behind you,” Leo yelled as he followed her. They were only about a mile away from the pier, and he hoped to make it there before they got too wet. It was too late, though. The drops got thicker and countless the more they advanced, and it was inevitable, they were getting soaked. He was even having trouble looking ahead from all the water plummeting into his eyes. “This is crazy!” he screamed.

  “Hurry up, we are almost there!” Eva replied. She didn’t seem to be too worried about the rain at all. In fact, it almost looked like she was enjoying it.

  “Let’s park the bikes under the pier and wait there,” Leo said.

  “Okay.”

  When they finally arrived at the pier, Eva couldn’t stop laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Well, I haven’t had this much fun in a while. And honestly… your face!”

  “What about my face?” Leo responded, agitated. He had gotten a little bit cranky because of the rain, and Eva seemed to find it hilarious. As she dropped her bike on the ground and made a few steps towards him, she said, “Relax. I like the rain.”

  “I’m glad. Because we are still getting wet in here.” Useless radar. It hasn’t rained in weeks…

  “So?” Eva laughed, closing the gap between them. As their bodies touched, Leo’s features started to relax. He wanted to have the perfect day, but if she was enjoying it, then it didn’t matter.

  “Okay, then,” Leo said as he explored his surroundings. He wanted to make sure they weren’t being watched before he kissed her. Thankfully, there was no one to be seen. It was pouring so hard that people had most likely found their way somewhere inside.

  As rain still ran down their faces, their lips met, each of them tasting the cold drops. As soon as he felt her lips again, the world fell away. It no longer mattered if it was raining or if the world was ending.

  Her lips were comforting in ways words would never be. He ran his fingers down her spine as he pulled her closer until he could feel the beating of her heart. Eva then jumped on him, putting her legs around his waist as she kissed him passionately over and over. He took a moment to look at her, “You are perfect,” he whispered. It hadn’t been a dream; Eva was his.

  “So are you,” she sighed, staring back at him. “You know I’ve been meaning to ask you, when do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow,” Leo answered, disappointed.

  Her spirits seemed to drop in that moment as she tilted her head downward and jumped back down to the ground. “Seriously, so soon?”

  “Yeah I’m sorry. I wish I didn’t have to.” I really do.

  Leo tried to comfort her by giving her another kiss, but she still seemed disappointed.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  “Paris…”

  “Oh wow. Well, I’m su
re you will have a great time.”

  I’m not so sure about that. You won’t be with me. “It's only work. I’ve been there many times, and there’s nothing I haven’t seen before. As soon as I’m done, I will be right back here with you,” Leo promised.

  She stared at the rain for a few seconds and asked, “Why does everything good have to be so hard?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I had a rough time for a bit in college. Now that I’m starting to feel alive again with you, you have to leave. Even if it’s two weeks, the timing is terrible.”

  Agreed. The timing couldn’t be worse. “I know, but when you truly care about someone, it can be hard because you want them so bad that it tears you apart as soon as something unexpected happens.”

  She sighed with concern in her eyes. “Yeah, but the more I seem to care for someone, the more things seem to happen.”

  “Sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right or that you shouldn’t keep trying.”

  “I haven’t told you this… but my father left me when I was a kid. I don’t think I ever got over that.”

  Wow. That was it, the missing piece he had been trying to figure out about her. Now he understood that the sadness in her eyes came from a much deeper place than merely a teenage heartbreak. “What happened? Why did he leave?” he asked curiously. I would never leave you.

  “That’s the thing, I don’t know. He just left one day without giving us any explanation or looking back. It was heartbreaking. My mom and I had to manage without him all this time,” she said as she looked away.

  He then held her hand gently and said, “I’m so sorry, Eva, I had no idea. He never tried to contact you?”

  “No. And I hope he doesn’t at this point. It would be too painful.”

  “Well, listen, I’m certainly not perfect, but I would never leave you like that or break your heart. You are too special and valuable for anyone to do that to you.”

  She met his gaze again, this time with less fear in her eyes. “Thanks, Leo, you really are a sweetheart, and I do trust you. I wish you could stay at least a few more days. When will you be back?”

  “Three weeks,” he responded painfully.

  “Are you always away from that long?”

  Yes. “Sometimes. Sometimes more, but it changes.”

  “I’m going to miss you,” Eva lamented.

  His heart felt joy from hearing her say those words, “Me too, I will think about you every day,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

  “What is it?”

  “Did you ever see your ex again in college?” There, I said it.

  “Daniel?” she asked, surprised.

  He hadn’t meant to bring the subject out of the blue, but he had to know. “Yes, the guy that broke your heart.”

  “I saw him around, yes. Why?”

  “No, I mean, did you guys have something again?”

  Her eyes looked big and wide, almost as if he had caught her. “Nothing happened in the first three years. I tried to stay away from him because I still hated him, but as time passed, I stopped hating him, and we kind of became friends. After I broke up with Ernest, a guy I sort of of dated, I was in a bad place. I felt so bad that I hurt him.” Eva sighed. “My friends kept telling me that I had to live my life and have fun, and I tried. I really did. Nothing just seemed fun to me. I couldn’t feel anything, and that’s when it happened. I was drinking one night at a bar with my friend Maddie, and he showed up. I figured that if I was going to feel something, it was going to be with him, my first love.”

  Hearing the truth hurt, but at least he was grateful for her honesty. “Did you?”

  “I felt things, sure... He was the only guy I had ever slept with back then. So it was as if he still held some power over me. I could have never trusted him after what he did to me, though.”

  He stayed silent for a few seconds, carefully thinking about his next question. He couldn’t help to feel terribly jealous that she could possibly feel something for anyone else. “Do you still love him?”

  She looked away again, and this time for longer. She looked embarrassed and confused. He figured it was understandable that she cared for him, but it scared the hell out of him. When she looked at him again, she whispered, “I wish you had been my first.”

  She didn’t answer his question, but joy suddenly filled Leo’s heart as he heard her say those words. He had been longing for confirmation of her feelings towards him, and this was it. As she sustained eye contact, he realized the moment had gotten serious. Her eyes looked scared, and somehow, though she wasn’t speaking, he knew exactly what she wanted him to say. “I’m not going to hurt you, Eva. I can promise you that,” he assured her, grabbing the side of her face.

  She grabbed his hand and smiled, “I know.”

  “Have you seen him again after graduation?” Leo asked, getting back to the subject.

  “I’m beginning to feel interrogated,” Eva teased.

  “I’m sorry. I simply want to know where I stand. It’s important to me. You are important to me.” They stood so close to each other, just a few inches from kissing.

  She looked straight into his eyes. “I haven’t seen him again. He has contacted me a few times, but I haven’t answered, and I’m not planning to.”

  “So, I guess that means you will wait for me?” Leo asked with uncertainty looking straight into her puzzling eyes.

  Eva gently grabbed his face with both of her hands and said, “Of course I will wait for you, dummy,” and she kissed him.

  CHAPTER 24

  The Letter

  Although Eva felt relieved to get done with work for the week, she feared that the weekend would come and Leo wouldn’t text her. She had spoken to him earlier that week, and she had been ecstatic to hear his voice. It was a short call just to let her know he arrived safely, but it was sweet of him to call. She missed him. They had texted here and there in the past few days, but with the time difference, it was hard for them to connect. She worked until 5pm every day with her new schedule, and by the time she got home, it was quite late for Leo. His work agenda didn’t help either, as he had to attend late dinner meetings with important clients.

  Most mornings, she woke to an uplifting message from him that read, “Morning beautiful, hope you have a good day,” but he hadn’t texted her at all in the last couple of days. Maybe she was being overly dramatic, but she was starting to feel anxious. Eva wanted to hear everything about his trip and about his job; most of all, she wanted to get to know him even more. They were still in the early stages of their relationship, but she longed to have more time with him, even if it was simply a phone call.

  No matter how much she felt tempted to write to him, however, she didn’t want to give in. She had sent the last text, and it was his turn to write. Eva was hard-headed like that, and by the looks of it, she was going to have to wait until the weekend to hear from him, as he was probably busy with work.

  The feelings she was already developing for him were frightening, and sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was too good for her. The way he carried himself with so much confidence made Eva feel like a silly child sometimes. If only he knew what goes through my mind half of the time, would he still want me? She didn’t mean to have these feelings or thoughts but often or not, they showed up like a snowstorm, invading every inch of her brain until she felt completely discouraged.

  She took a bath and did her nails, which had been a nightmare to do without Cece’s help, took out the trash, and did the dishes to keep herself busy. Not one minute passed by where she didn’t glance at her phone to check for any new messages. When she ran out of things to do, she remembered her mother had asked her to check the mailbox. So, before she got lazy, Eva put her flip flops on, so she wouldn’t ruin her toenails and cautiously stepped out of the house.

 
Before she walked any further, she first glanced to both sides of the street, making sure there weren't any cheating ex-boyfriends to be seen. After their last conversation, she preferred to steer clear of him, at least for a few days. It felt as if it was yesterday when she used to watch Daniel skate through the window. It was inexplicable how time flew so quickly. Now they were both adults trying to figure out their future.

  At least one thing hadn’t changed; she still had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. Everyone else seemed to know. Why do I still feel so lost?

  As she approached the yellow shaped mailbox, she realized her mother hadn’t been joking about not checking it for a few days. The box was bursting with letters and catalogs of all kinds. How long has it really been since my mom checked this?

  Eva grabbed all the mail and walked back inside the house to place the letters on the kitchen counter for her mother. Unless she had ordered something on Amazon, there was usually not much for her to check. There were tons of cosmetic and beauty magazines that Eva no longer read. Her mother had been ordering them ever since she could remember, and she was already sick of them.

  As she threw a couple of advertising pamphlets in the trash, she couldn’t help but notice one letter that read ‘Eva Coleman’ in big, bold letters. There was no letterhead in the front, but as she turned it around, she couldn’t believe her eyes. For a second there, she thought it had to be a mistake, or perhaps it was old mail.

  How can this be? She hadn’t heard from her father in years. What could he possibly want? Eva’s mind wandered to a thousand places as she stood there, paralyzed at the kitchen counter. From: Erik Coleman, the header read. It had been so long since the last time she saw her father that he had now become a distant blur in her mind. His face had faded with the years as she purposely made an effort not to think about him every single day.

  She had been so angry with him back then that she made sure to throw away every picture or item she had of him. The only thing she conserved was her old Nikon Camera, and that was because she loved it too much. The vintage look it displayed, the heaviness of it when she carried it to take a photo, and the way the pictures came out prevented Eva from replacing it.