by Gabriela Paz
CHAPTER 29
Vita Mia
“Wait! I almost forgot my wallet. I will be right back,” Cece shouted as she got out of the cab and made her way back into the hostel.
It hadn’t been easy to convince Cece to come to Italy with her. Though she was covering all of her expenses for the whole trip, her friend was in love and did not want to leave her man behind. Luckily Cece’s boss at work gave her the clear to leave for a few days, so Eva was thrilled. If she was going on a romance hunt, she was surely going to need her best friend by her side.
“Okay, hurry up!” she said impatiently. They had arrived at Leo’s hometown in Palermo only an hour ago, and she was already eager to pour her heart out to him. She had promised Cece to sightsee, but first things first. She wanted to see him, feel him, and kiss him. Just the thought of it gave her goosebumps, which made her even more anxious.
“About time,” Eva said the moment Cece hopped back in the car. Her forehead was sweating profusely, and her leg didn’t stop making tiny little movements.
“Alright, let’s go!” Cece said to the chauffeur.
Eva didn’t know if it was the driver or the bumpy roads, but her stomach was feeling uneasy.
“We are almost there, Miss,” the driver exclaimed. We are? Breathe Eva. You can do this.
The moment they pulled up in front of a gorgeous white Chalet with a big brown wooden door, she saw him. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was him.
“Who the hell is that?” Cece asked, pointing at a beautiful golden-haired blonde with tan glowing skin.
Eva didn’t know what to say. “I don’t—.” She kept staring. Cece quickly instructed the driver to keep a good distance from the house, which Eva was thankful for. She didn’t want to be seen before she knew exactly what was going on. As Leo approached the front door with the blonde, her heart started beating fast. Is there a chance they aren’t together? She didn’t think so, but didn’t want to believe it.
Leo looked for his keys in his pocket and proceeded to open the door. She hoped he would say goodbye to the blonde and the nightmare would end but, as soon as the door opened, he put his arm around her, and they made their way in. It’s over.
~~
As Leo made his way downstairs to get himself something to eat, he was surprised to see a small piece of familiar magazine paper on the floor by the door. He grabbed it curiously and held it closer to be able to read the small writing on it, “I wish you the best, and I hope you are happy in your new life. I never wished to cause you pain, and I hope you know that my feelings for you were real. I wish things had turned out differently.”
Leo felt his heart jolt as he finished reading. He turned it around to make sure there wasn’t any more writing on the back, but it was blank. There was no name, nothing.
The only person who could have written this note was Eva, but that was impossible. She couldn’t be in Italy. He wished he could recognize her handwriting to know for sure, but no matter how much he tried to distinguish each letter, he had no clue.
Why would she leave me this note, though? She doesn’t want anything to do with me. And why would she be wishing me happiness in my new life? Everything was so confusing and frustrating. Why didn’t she let me know it was her? Does she enjoy torturing me? or does she not want to be found? Could she really be there, in his hometown? There was no way.
His mind was puzzled and hopeful at the same time. If somehow, she was there, then he would have the chance to see her again, and if it was true what she said, then he could finally have some closure. Fear coursed through him at that moment, fear of possibly getting his hopes up only to have them shattered again.
Should I call her? But what would I say? He hadn’t heard her voice in such a long time, and the note felt more like another goodbye. Is it just hopeful thinking to clink to the belief that she still feels something for me?
He didn’t want to admit it, but somewhere deep inside, he still felt angry with her for leaving him the way she did. In all the time that passed, he would have hoped to move on, but reading that note certainly resurfaced old wounds. He never learned the truth of what happened—of why she left him.
Would it be awful? What if it’s better to not know? At that moment, no matter how unsure he felt about his path at the very least, he needed to find out the truth.
As Leo grabbed his phone, his heart started to pound fast from the anticipation of hearing her voice again. He pressed the dial button and waited hopeful for the line to beep, but sadly it went straight to voicemail. Her phone is off? What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Leo started to write her a text. If it was a signal problem, then it was only a matter of time until she read the message and got back to him. “Hey. It’s me. I know it’s been forever, but did you leave me a pink note under the door by any chance?” he texted.
He wanted to sound polite and discreet in case it had been a mistake, but as soon as he pressed send, he noticed only one checkmark next to the message. It usually took two checkmarks for messages to be received, so something was definitely wrong with her phone.
If she was in Italy, there was a chance she had no Wi-Fi. He felt like a madman, planting all of these crazy scenarios in his head that were probably a bunch of nonsense. If she wasn’t in Italy, he would feel like a complete idiot walking around trying to find her, but if she was, in fact, there, and he didn’t at least try, then he would regret it. Suddenly he decided to call Stefano. He was somewhat close to her best friend. Maybe he knew something?
As the line actually beeped this time, Leo prayed for his brother to pick up the phone badly. The call was surely going to take his brother by surprise.
“Hello?” he finally answered.
“Bro! Hi. I’m so glad you picked up! How are you?”
“Leo, hey. I’m good, how are you? How’s everything over there?”
“Honestly, same old. It hasn’t changed a bit. It’s almost like time hasn’t passed, you know?”
“Nice. I want to go back to visit soon. Maybe during the holidays,” he said in a nostalgic tone.
“For sure. You should. And maybe you can hang out with your old friends.”
“Yeah. I haven’t exactly kept in touch with anyone.”
“It’s alright. I’m sure they didn’t forget about you. How are things back home? How are Mom and Dad?”
“They are good. Everything is the same here too. Mom misses you a lot. She said you have not been away from home for this long before.”
“I know. I miss all of you too. I spoke to them a few weeks back and told them everything. They sounded like they understood… I hope they are not too disappointed with me.”
Stefano paused. “They are not…they are just sad that you felt like you needed to go back to find yourself. They wished you could have found yourself somewhere close by. Mom feels a little guilty for having dragged you all the way here all those years ago. She thinks that maybe it was a mistake.”
“Really?” Leo asked, surprised.
“Yeah.”
“It wasn’t a mistake. This is not her fault. It’s got nothing to do with you guys. I promise! And what about Dad? Is he disappointed?”
“Dad, well, he only wants you to be happy, that’s all.”
“I’m so sorry, Stef. I love you all so much, and I’m sorry for putting you through this. It’s been a rough couple of months for me, but I’m feeling better, thankfully.”
“Yeah? I’m glad. When are you coming back?” Stefano asked in a hopeful tone.
“I don’t know yet, but as soon as I do, you will be the first to know, I promise.”
“I hope you make up your mind soon.”
So do I. Trust me. “I will, bro. Listen, I wanted to ask you… have you heard anything from Eva at all? Maybe from that best friend of hers? I’m sorry to ask. It’s still complicated, I guess.”
Leo didn’t really know what had triggered him so badly, but he had to persist. “I’m sorry, bro, really I am. I shouldn’t have asked. You are right. It is between the two of us.” Just tell me, Stefano.
“She called me, you know that?”
She did? Oh, that’s why he’s angry. “What? What for?” Leo asked, surprised.
“She wanted to know where you were, and she was very persistent.”
“Why? Why didn’t she call me?”
“I don’t know! I just know she wanted to know where you were, and I told her.”
“Stefano! Why the hell didn’t you tell me this before?” He didn’t mean to put his brother in the spot, but he was feeling very strong emotions in that moment.
Stefano stuttered. “I don’t know. I figured she would call you or something. Like I said, I don’t want to get in the middle of it.”
“You are right, and I’m sorry again. Did you tell her our address here, though?”
“Yes, I texted it to her. Like I said, she was very persistent.”
Leo couldn’t believe it. It was true. If Eva had his home address, then he was certain she was the one who left the note. “Wow, okay. Thanks for telling me.”
“Why are you asking me, is she there? What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m going to find out. I gotta go now. Talk later!”
“Alright, good luck, bro,” Stefano said as he hung up the phone.
Leo understood why his brother wasn’t supportive of his relationship with Eva. He had warned him about her before, and Leo hadn’t listened. He probably wondered why on Earth Leo would want to see her again, but he didn’t comprehend what it was like to love somebody yet.
For his brother, it was like another math equation to solve, and the answer was clear, to stay away from her. It didn’t matter to Leo what anybody else had to say about it. Now that he was sure she was there, he would move heaven and earth to find her.
As Leo sauntered through the old streets of his city, he kept an eye open in case any familiar face showed up in his sight. The ancient architecture made the journey enjoyable as he relished old memories from his childhood. Playing any kind of ball game in the streets and finding all kinds of trouble to get into was all he and his friends used to do back then.
He wasn’t blaming anybody, but he used to love his life back then. Of course, he wouldn’t have met Eva if he would have stayed in Italy, which meant not getting the chance to know the best kind of happiness. His parents had made the right choice for their family, and he always understood their reasons. He only wished it hadn’t been so sudden. He had become the man he was because of his personal experiences, and he didn’t regret any of it nevertheless.
Now that he found himself chasing after her, he wondered why he never noticed how romantic his hometown was. Every single corner he looked at was a perfect spot for him to imagine himself with Eva, chatting, drinking coffee, kissing, and laughing. He would have never thought about it if it weren’t for her… The way she made him feel was unexplainable, and although he had avoided thinking of her all this time, the more he looked for her, the more the feelings sneaked their way back into every inch of his body and soul.
As Leo continued the search, he considered every place she could visit or that she would like. He bought tickets to ancient museums he had seen thousands of times, passed by the most majestic cathedrals he could think of, stopped by his favorite restaurants and by the beach. If she had been by his house earlier that day, she couldn’t be far, but to know where she was, and in the exact moment she was there seemed nearly impossible. He wasn’t going to give up, though. She was there, and he could feel her so close.
As the day nearly came to an end, his hopes started to decrease little by little. He had looked everywhere he could think of, including the nearest hotels where she could be staying at and hadn’t found luck localizing her. The text message he had sent her earlier still showed undelivered or unread, so he couldn’t communicate with her either. What else can I do?
He could always go back to the States to find her, but was he willing to go back with the uncertainty of not knowing what she really wanted? Would he be able to build up such courage? A black hole started to slowly form in Leo’s mind and inside his soul. All this time, he had been convincing himself that he didn’t need her and that he could move on happily with his life. He never wanted to admit that nothingness overwhelmed his absurd existence if she wasn’t in his life, and now that the possibility of having her again seemed open, the chance of losing her once more seemed unbearable.
The sun was starting to set, and Leo decided to head to the bay to kill some time. He had to work the next morning, and maybe preparing the boats would take his mind off her. As he walked towards the kiosk, he was surprised to see the restaurant surrounded by small sparkling lights all around the terrace. The lights covered the trees, the walls, and even some of the plants. There were also a few torches around the tables, which made it look cozy.
He had never been to the bay at night, and he wondered why that was. The whole place seemed magical. The soft music played from a distance, and as people enjoyed a delicious meal, they seemed to be exactly where they wanted. Leo should have already attended the place and tried the food, but something always stopped him from entering. Somehow going inside such a romantic place alone reminded him of what he had lost, and he didn’t want to think about that.
As he untied a few ropes and rearranged the boats back in order, he noticed a girl walk out of the restaurant to smoke a cigarette. He didn’t pay too much attention to her at first, but as he looked closer, her face seemed oddly familiar. Where have I seen here?
She wore high black winter boots, a heavy winter coat, a red scarf, and a purple beret as if it was the coldest day of the year. It was obvious she wasn’t local, as most people on the island never wore such hefty attire during spring.
Leo still wondered where he had seen her. If she wasn’t somebody from his high school, perhaps she was somebody he met during a business trip, he couldn’t be sure. As the girl walked closer towards the water, Leo was now certain he knew her.
He got off the boat and pretended to make his way back to the kiosk just to look at her even closer. As he walked past her and met her gaze, then it rapidly hit him. This wasn’t some random person he met during his business trips. This was Eva’s best friend, and he was almost sure of it. “Hi!” he exclaimed, astonished as he turned back to meet her gaze once again.
“Hi?” the girl responded with a confused expression. It was getting a little bit dark, and maybe she didn’t recognize him.
“Aren’t you Eva’s friend?” he asked.
The girl’s expression suddenly changed as she said, “Yes, I am.”
“I’m Leo! We met at the cove back in Pensacola, remember me?”
“Oh my God! I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you! Hi! Yes, of course, I remember.”
“Right. I thought so, but I wasn’t sure. Cece was your name, right?” Leo asked, unsure.
“Yes! Oh my God, I can’t believe you are here,” Cece said, surprised, almost as if she didn’t even know he was in Italy, which made him worry.
“This is where I’m from, my hometown,” he blurted.
“I know that. I mean, I can’t believe you are here in this place. How did you find us?”
Excitement and fear abruptly struck Leo’s heart as she said, ‘us,’ which meant that Eva had to be somewhere close, and he was finally going to see her again.
“I work here, actually,” he stuttered. “I have been looking for her all day, to be honest, but it’s a coincidence to find you here.” He felt tense as he struggled to get the right words out of his mouth. “She left
me that note this morning at my house, didn’t she?”
Cece took another puff of her cigarette and, without any sense of urgency, answered, “Yep… she did.”
“Why? I don’t understand! I don’t get what she meant. Why did she come all the way here to wish me a happy life?” Leo asked desperately.
“You should ask her. She’s in there,” Cece said, pointing at the terrace. Good luck.”
CHAPTER 30
Luminous Path
“Would you like me to pour some more wine, miss?” the waiter asked Eva, making an effort to speak English. His Italian accent didn’t help take Leo off her mind. She was having one of the worst days of her life, and getting drunk seemed like the only solution.
“Sure, thanks,” she answered as she took a sip of her third glass and moved her seat closer to the fire torch to get warmer. Even though she wore a puffy coat, her legs were still uncovered from the cold breeze.
Cece had stepped out to smoke a cigarette since Eva hated the smell of the smoke, but she was taking longer than usual. As the soft breeze hit her face, Eva couldn’t help but feel mortified. She had promised her friend a fun girl’s trip, and as much as she was trying to keep it together, her heart was shattered.
She knew taking the leap of faith to come see him came with its risks, but she never truly believed he could have actually moved on. It was safe to say she deserved it after what she had done. The worst part of all was that it appeared serious, and from the looks of it, they had to be living together.
She had traveled from so far, traversing so many miles, only to see that horrible scene in the morning. In her heart, she knew she should not have written the note. She should have let him enjoy his new situation happily, instead of tormenting him with the past. But she couldn’t leave it alone. Deep inside, she wanted him to know that she still thought of him and that he still had a choice—if he didn’t hate her, of course. Maybe it was pointless and perhaps childish… but even if he didn’t want her, at least, she got it off her chest.
