Before You Leave: A Romance Novel

by Hunter, Amelia

  Kieran licks his bottom lip and pulls it into his mouth with his teeth, another thing I have noticed he does when he waits for me to speak. There is so much information trying to filter through my mind. The loss he has gone through, his sister who is sick and then me. Me with my baggage of worries and my poor behaviour since I have arrived here. Has it been fate that has been pulling him towards me since I got off the plane? Is he exactly what I need?

  Kieran holds his hand towards me, his palm out stretched and fingers wide. Moving forward I rest my hand onto his, my fingers don’t even reach the tips of the length underneath. Enclosing his hand he gently pulls me towards him. His brown eyes never leaving mine and when I am between his thighs on my knees, he moves my damp hair off my face. I have heard talk about an electricity between two people, a spark or chemistry, but I never believed it and I certainly never felt it, not even with Ryan. But right at this moment the hairs at the back of my neck are prickled up and if he doesn’t kiss me soon I think I’ll melt under his gaze.

  Closing my eyes, I feel his fingers trace over my cheek and down to my mouth. Outlining my lips before he leaves them yearning for more. His sweet tender kiss brushes where his fingers had just left and I hold my breath but he doesn’t repeat his action, instead he lays his forehead on mine. I inhale the intoxicating odour that is purely his as I hold onto his wrists with his hands cradling my face.

  “Julia I want you so badly that it hurts. I’m not a foolish man but I am a patient one. I can wait until you’re ready, I have been waiting all my 33 years for you.”

  “I think I’m ready for you now Kieran.” I could hardly recognise my own quivering voice speak what my heart is feeling.

  “You think you are Julia but you’re not. I don’t want Ryan’s memory to still be with you when I touch you, when I kiss you or when I’m with you. I’m greedy like that.”

  “What am I to do then, he may never leave me.”

  “We are going to find out who that text was from and piece together what you are unable to let go of.” Kieran removes himself from me and sincerely smiles. “Do you have a picture of Ryan with you?”

  “I do, in my purse. Does that seem bad that I still carry it?”

  “No not one bit. But it might be time to leave him in the past. I’m going to check that your dress has dried for you so you can get changed. That gown is gapping and it’s distracting.”

  “And I thought you were a gentleman.”

  “Only on the weekends.”

  “It is the weekend.”

  “Exactly, that is why I need to get your dress for you.”

  Kieran moves away from me to where my dress was hanging in the direct sun. Squeezing sections of it in his hands he holds it up to his cheek then brings it back over to me.

  “All dried.”

  “Thank you Kieran, I know I haven’t said it but really I am grateful for your help. Give me a minute and I’ll be back dressed and I’ll grab the photo for you.”

  “No need to thank me, I’m just glad you haven’t ran out of the door.”

  “Why would I do that now I know? You’ve been completely honest with me.”

  “I haven’t freaked you out about my family and me sure it is fate that has brought us here?”

  “No Kieran, it should be you running from me with my problems and a man that shadows me everywhere.”

  “He was your life, I would expect nothing less but….go we have a puzzle to solve.”

  Taking large strides through the living area and back up the stairs to my room, my feet feel lighter than they have done for a long time. Striping off I step into my cotton dress that now has a few more wrinkles than it did this morning and curl my hair up into a loose bun, held in place by an elastic band I found on the chest of drawers. Opening up my purse from my bag, I slide out the photo of the two of us. Running back down the stairs I slow my pace pass the white leather settee. This is the moment I am introducing Kieran to Ryan and it is making my fingers tremble. With each step closer I get to him I grip the photo tighter. Holding it to my chest Kieran stands just a few feet away from me. His head is bowed looking at the floor outside; I stop at the door and watch him for a moment. Kieran and Ryan in the same place at the same time, feeling a pull in my stomach is just a reminder that what is in my hands is my past.

  Can Kieran be my future? The man in front of me that has the patience of a saint, stands waiting for me to show him the man that has been dominating my thoughts when he is no longer here. Kieran lifts his head and smiles a warm and welcoming smile for me. Just seeing his smile makes my heart melt and I take a step forward, instantly, he does the same. Shyly I stand close to him and hold out my photo, keeping my focus on his hand that takes it from me.

  “When was this taken?”

  “At our engagement party.”

  “You look so happy Julia. You’re glowing.”

  “It was an amazing night.”

  “So this is Ryan. The man in your every waking thought and probably every dream one too.”

  “It is and he was.”

  “Was?”

  “Lately there has been another.”

  “Oh, but the other doesn’t make you smile like you are in this picture.”

  “Not yet he doesn’t.”

  “Well I hope he does soon, I like that look on you.” Kieran slants the photo more towards the light of the sun and rubs his finger across it. “Does Ryan always wear that around his neck?”

  “The leather with the engraved cross and green stone?”

  “That’s what it looks like, here can you see?” Kieran points to the pendant that Ryan always insisted on wearing.

  “He always wore it, he still is.”

  “Do you know where he got it from?”

  “No just something he’s always worn. Think he had it on even at that party I met him at.”

  “The one he arrived with Abigail?”

  “Yes that’s the one. You remembered?”

  “Anything to do with you is etched deep in my memory.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m not sure how to say this but that stone and cross is very popular on this island. Has Ryan been here before? He looks like someone I’ve seen.”

  “Not that I know off. I have a feeling he was going to take me here for our honeymoon as he spoke about how great this place was but never did he say he visited. When do you think you saw him?”

  Kieran rubs his unshaven chin. The bristles have been there since last night giving him a shade.

  “Now I am thinking about it. He really does look like the arsehole of a man Abigail was with. But it can’t be, you said he hadn’t been here before and well she had been very coy about being here herself. Are you sure they hadn’t dated before he met you?”

  “Kieran I don’t know what you are trying to indicate. They were business partners; he adored her like a sister. Maybe it was a business trip or just a friendly week away. Abigail must have her own reasons why she didn’t tell me and Sarah she was here but I am a hundred per cent sure they weren’t dating.”

  “Hold on, I have a picture from my camera that I asked them if I could take just as they got on my yacht. I had this crazy idea that if it all went well I could advertise to hire the boat and thought I could use their picture. They were very smiley when I took it until I told them what I wanted it for and then the guy went apeshit. I should have known at that point not to take them out. Wait here I’ll just get it.”

  Kieran hands back the photo of Ryan to me and leaves to enter the house. So many unsavoury thoughts rush through my mind trying to clarify what Kieran has just said. I hope that it has all been a mistake and he realises the picture he has isn’t Ryan. It doesn’t sound like him, acting all crazy and his hands all over another woman. He hardly had his hands all over me, too tired with his work and the late nights. I stumble towards the seats we sat at earlier; an awful realisation starts to drown the thoughts I had of Ryan. Oh god no surely it can’t be him, Kieran must be wrong.

>   Gentle but strong arms pull me into a warm embrace. My body shivers in the heat as I rock back and forth enclosed in his hold. I didn’t even hear him coming back outside, too caught up in my own emotions.

  “Hush its ok. I know it is a shock just let it out.” His soothing words starts my tears and I let them disperse into his clean t-shirt.

  “Was it him?” I manage to ask between sobs.

  “It was. I am so sorry Julia, I really am. You don’t deserve this after what you’ve been through but the picture on my camera is of the same man.”

  “He was here with her a month before his accident. Screwing her on your boat.”

  “Did you have no idea at all?’

  “Good god Kieran, I was going to marry him. And all the time he was with her.”

  I can’t bear to look at the camera he has left on the table; the thought of seeing a picture of the two of them together is making bile stir in my stomach. Shrugging out of his arms I quickly rush to the nearest bathroom and empty what little I had in there into the toilet bowl. As my hair falls over my face it is brushed back and held away. When the retching stops, Kieran kneels down beside me and hands a tissue over.

  “Come on, I think you need to lie down for a while. It has been a very enlightening morning. You should be resting.”

  “I just want to fade away Kieran, I don’t think I can cope anymore.”

  “Yes you can, let me be your strength.” Gathering me up in his arms, he picks me up off the floor. I hold on around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder as he carries me up the stairs and into the room I slept in last night. Laying me with care on the bed he throws over the red sheet to cover me.

  “I’m going to sit outside on the balcony while you take a nap and when you wake up I will make you something to eat. Now rest.” He orders me as he reaches down to kiss the top of my head before walking over to the double doors opening them to sit outside. I close my eyes to shut out the pain of betrayal. The horrid feelings trample through my sleep until I start screaming out Ryan’s name.

  “What’s wrong Julia? Wake up! What’s wrong? I’m here.” Startled, I open my eyes relieved to see Kieran. Pulling him towards me, he lays down beside me on the bed and I turn into him. Reaching for his arm to wrap around me and I fall asleep again. Soundly, without a nightmare or a dream to awaken me.

  “Hey wake up.”

  Stretching my arms above my head I yawn out the afternoon that has now passed. Kieran is propped up on his elbow looking down on me, smiling.

  “What time is it?” I ask still sleepy.

  “No idea, but I do know I am starving. Are you hungry?”

  “I am. But only for something light.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Fuzzy. It’s strange because thinking back at the way she was around me, I now know it wasn’t because I had done something wrong, and that’s a relief. You know she wasn’t going to come to our wedding and I didn’t even question it. Do you think I knew? Subconsciously I mean.”

  “I don’t know but what I don’t understand is why he was still with her when he was going to marry you. You are more than enough for one man.”

  “I guess I just wasn’t enough for him.”

  “Or he just wasn’t a faithful man. Have you thought what you are going to do now that you know?”

  “A little. I want to go home and clean out our apartment. I might even put it up for sale; it’s full of his lies now. As for Abigail, I’m not too sure what to do.”

  “Take baby steps. Some questions you might have may never be answered, not now anyway.”

  “I know and that makes me sad.”

  “You’re flight home is in two days’ time, do you want me to come back and help you?” Kieran’s question is sincere.

  “I have to do this by myself and you need to get your life back. I’m sure I’ve taken your attention away from your businesses more than I should have.”

  Disappointment shows on his face and he pulls in his bottom lip like he wants to stop himself to say something but instead he leaves the bed he brushes down his jeans, “I’d better start on lunch, I’ll see you downstairs, okay?”

  “I’ll be there in five.” I reply knowing that I will be there in probably less.

  “Good,” he answers before leaving me alone in the room. As soon as he has gone I get off the bed and go to the bathroom. My face looks pale and drawn in the mirror. Splashing cool water from the tap, I brush my teeth and pinch my cheeks to bring some colour back into them. Brushing my hands through my hair I give up trying to comb out the knots from the loose strands and instead tie it back up again. Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I walk down the stairs to meet Kieran in the kitchen.

  Sitting down on the high stool, Kieran places a plate in front of me with ham, brown bread, fruit and a selection of dips.

  “You wanted a light lunch.”

  “And it looks lovely, thank you.” Kieran sits in the seat opposite me like he did only a few hours ago. “Would you mind if I go back to the hotel today?” I ask him unsure how he will take the question.

  “To stay?” Kieran’s answers disappointed.

  “Yes, until I go home.”

  “Only if you want too. I can understand if you want to head closer into the town, just didn’t think it would be now.”

  “Can I be honest with you?”

  “Always, I wouldn’t want you to be anything else.”

  “I want to go back, it is my last day tomorrow and I need to do a few things. But I don’t want to do it by myself. I want you with me, I’m going to need your strength.”

  “It would be my privilege,” Kieran smirks and pops a strawberry into his mouth sounding happier, “I’ll call the hotel on our way and book a room.”

  “You don’t have to go that much trouble. Why not stay on in one of your apartments?”

  “Because Julia, I don’t think the cleaning firm would be too impressed. Plus I hope they are all booked out.”

  “And your yacht, have you ever slept in that.”

  “I have but if I am on my yacht, I am not near you. Unless you would like to come with me on it?”

  “Kieran, after this morning’s revelation I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

  “It is the hotel then, hopefully in the room next to you.”

  After we eat, I help Kieran tidy the kitchen and close up his hideaway home. Gathering my handbag and sliding my feet back into my sandals, Kieran leaves me standing outside the front door while he retrieves his moped. The roar of an engine startles me and I watch as the alloy wheels crumple over the gravel on the driveway. Opening the door of the jeep as he stops beside me, I jump in and slide into the seat.

  “What happened to the moped?”

  “Thought we might need something meatier tomorrow on your last day.”

  “Do you always think of everything?”

  “I try.” Slipping on his black sunglasses that Sarah would be impressed with, he starts our journey back to the town.

  ****

  The ride back seems a lot quicker in the 4x4. Kieran called the hotel, through his Bluetooth, on the way. He spoke to the receptionist with such charm that even though she tried to explain they were very busy, she still managed to secure a room for him, and one near me. Kieran had ordered food to be delivered for when we arrive and five minutes after walking back into my room with him, the food is placed on the table on the balcony. As we both sit in silence looking out to the sea, we eat the delicious arrangement comfortably in our silence. Finishing the cool glass of orange juice I took out of the minibar, I rest my feet on the railing between the sand and me. It doesn’t take long before I’m yawning.

  “Am I keeping you up?” Kieran asks in the voice I have noticed he keeps for me.

  “I shouldn’t be tired, not after that sleep earlier.”

  “You have had an eventful few days, damn, you’ve had an eventful few months. I am going to sneak back into my room and let you rest.”

  �
�Are you going to stay in there?”

  “I won’t be moving anywhere. Pick up that phone by the bed if you need me, okay.”

  “Kieran?”

  “What Julia?”

  My heart pounds in my chest but I know I have to ask him.

  “Have you ever cheated on a girl?”

  Moving his seat closer to mine, he takes my legs from the railing and lays them across his thighs on his warm jeans and holds on to them.

  “Julia, if I ever dated a girl like you I wouldn’t look at another.”