Before You Leave: A Romance Novel

by Hunter, Amelia

  “Are you coming, we’re going to be late.” I shout up the stairs for the fourth time.

  “Nearly, I just wanted to finish the last coat of paint before we leave.”

  “Seriously Kieran, Sarah’s flight will land in less than two hours. Leave the room until we get back.”

  “No, no, I want the colour to be a surprise, you haven’t told her yet have you?”

  “The colour you’re painting it? No, thought you are far too excited about all of this for me to spoil the surprise. You do realise Sarah is visiting us, not the room?” Stepping on the second step I shout a little louder to him. “I’m going to get the car out of the garage and bring it around the front, don’t be long.” I wait for his reply knowing already what he is going to say.

  “Use the jeep, it has a better safety record than your little run around and take your time.”

  “I love that little car and anyway I wouldn’t even fit in it now, let alone two more people.” I call back up the stairs.

  “That is very true. I love your shape.” He shouts down over the railing, his dark brown hair flops over his forehead and I chuckle a little at him pushing it back.

  “Five minutes Kieran and then I’m leaving.” I scold him in jest, not wanting to get into another conversation about my figure. Winking at me, Kieran slips off his old t-shirt he has been using while painting and exposes his tanned lean chest. I want to stay and watch the show as he walks towards our bedroom but our time is stretched as it is. Leaving him to change, I pick up the keys to his jeep from the kitchen counter and make my way to the garage out the connecting door through the utility room. Pressing the remote on the key ring the garage door starts slowly lifting up. My little run around looks small next to Kieran’s jeep and as I pass my pride and joy I slide my finger across the bonnet. The red metal is cool and a little regret rears in my stomach. It has been a while since I got behind the wheel of her and even longer before I do so again. She will still be here when the right time comes for me to take her for another spin.

  The sound of the heavy wheels on the gravel as I make my way around to the front of the villa, reminds me of the day Kieran brought me back here over a year ago on his moped.

  How things had changed since then.

  I turn on the stereo and slide in a cd rubbing my stomach as I do so. He still gives me butterflies even now while I wait eagerly in the jeep for him to appear.

  My mind wonders back to the day he kept his promise on that flight home. Without him by my side, holding my hand, I don’t know if I would have made it through the chaos that waited me when I walked through the door of my empty apartment.

  What I found hidden in Ryan’s pockets when we were cleaning out the clutter, lead to more questions not being answered. Receipts for meals in restaurants that I had never been to, expensive gifts bought not for me and the boarding card slipped nicely into the back of the wardrobe of that time he spent away with Abigail, here on the island. I must have emptied everything in my stomach from the shock of the evidence before me. It took another week until I was strong enough to confront Abigail.

  Remembering her sad and sorrowful eyes, as their tangle was unravelled in the proof I had, was bittersweet. She had been mourning Ryan from a distance, unable to show her true feelings while I died in our apartment for a man who didn’t truly love me. Abigail denied nothing; it was like she was relieved to be free from the burden she kept hidden for so long. I’ll never forget how Kieran guided me away from their florist business and seated me into the hire car, numb and shaken. Since that day not one tear has fallen from my eyes for Ryan, not one guilty feeling for getting on with my life enters my thoughts.

  Of course I’m sad he died, sad the lorry driver had to cope with crashing into him and causing his death. I am not sorry though, to learn he was texting Abigail when it happened after I read the police report of his phone messages. The sun didn’t blind him through the glass like I was lead to believe. He just wasn’t looking.

  With Sarah and Kieran’s support, I decided to sell up. I no longer wanted to live in a place tainted with his lies. I wanted a new start and a new beginning. Kieran used his contacts and managed to have it sold within six weeks from the day I made that decision. Even when all my belongings were boxed up and Ryan’s sent to Abigail and his family, Kieran didn’t leave my side. I wanted him to, I knew that the more time he spent with me was less with his sister while he was in the same country. But he refused. And I’ll be forever grateful for it.

  Not knowing what I wanted to do next, Kieran suggested staying at his family home. His face lit up as he said it, I knew he was missing Sinead and I wanted to move away from the area, so I agreed.

  For nearly three months I lived with Sinead and his Aunty Mary. Both made me feel like part of the family as soon as my feet landed through their front door. My own parents were delighted to see me settled into normal life again wherever that would be.

  Seeing Kieran around his family and the way he cares so much for them just made me fall harder for him and although he had travelled back and forth to deal with any business on the island, eventually he had to go back permanently. At that moment I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. I’ll never forget how his eyes shone when I told him I wanted to come back with him. I had enough money from the sale to buy a small place and would ask Pablo for a job when I had settled. Kieran fully understood my need for independence even though he wanted me to move straight in with him. Thinking it was too soon, I opted for his help to find me an apartment instead.

  On the year anniversary of Ryan’s death, I boarded the plane and said goodbye to my past. I knew people would talk because I wasn’t at his anniversary mass but I felt it was the perfect time for me to leave. A new beginning and a chance for Abigail to mourn how she should have done the first time around, now that all her and Ryan’s family knew about their relationship.

  My heart pounds while I recall the memory of my little apartment that he found for me overlooking the beach, a few steps away from where he kissed me before I left for the airport. I found the sea a calming place that I loved to visit and walked holding Kieran’s hand along the seafront. I hadn’t been able to look at the locks again and still have mine rattling at the bottom of my bag.

  It was the end of November and the tourist season was still going strong that I remember starting to feel unwell. Not able to put my finger on it, Pablo gave me a few days off until I felt better. But I didn’t for another three weeks. After much persuasion from Kieran I made an appointment with the local doctor. Leaving Kieran outside the door I went in alone, feeling confident my new language skills would get me through. But I left white washed and tearful, refusing to tell him what was wrong until I had managed to filter the results myself, shocked that I didn’t see the symptoms sooner.

  On Christmas morning we both sat around the tree he had searched the whole island for and even up to this day he still hasn’t told me where he found it. The tree stood over eight feet tall and the smell of pine was intoxicating. As I passed him the little box I had carefully wrapped, I waited anticipating his reaction for what was inside.

  Unravelling the ribbon I had painstakingly tied around it with my trembling fingers, he slipped the lid off. Lifting out a white stick with two lines in the window, he held it up to look closer at it.

  “What is this Julia?” His question was one of bewilderment rather than confusion.

  “It’s the reason I was been sick back in November Kieran. It’s also the reason my clothes haven’t been fitting well lately.” I told him, moving by his side for reassurance.

  “But I don’t understand, we were careful, you were careful.”

  “Apparently one day we weren’t.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Is that why you went to the doctors?”

  “It is.”

  “But you aren’t even showing that much, I just thought you were eating better than what you used too.”

  “The baby is only small Kieran, give
me a few more months before I swell.”

  “When is baby O’Callaghan ready see me?” He asked seemingly still in shock.

  “Are you ok with this Kieran, you know how much this is going to change our lives?”

  “Oh Jules you have no idea, this is the best Christmas present I have ever received.” Pulling me onto his lap he lifted my t-shirt and kissed my belly. “Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?”

  “No not yet, I thought if this went well, we could find that out together.”

  “Never doubt how much I love you Julia and how much I love this little bun that is growing inside you.”

  “I’m due the month of your birthday, Kieran.”

  “Then I already have a name picked out.”

  “Kieran let little bun grow into a cake first.”

  “I know, I know but I am so ecstatic.”

  “Come on, let’s finish opening these gifts under the tree. I think with the amount you have wrapped, it might take me a while.”

  For the rest of Christmas Kieran’s didn’t stop smiling and kissing my small belly bump, fussing around me like I was about to give birth any moment. It was a very endearing time.

  By the middle of January I moved into Kieran’s villa. I was increasing in size faster than I expected and my feet were swelling in the heat. Pablo understood when I was unable to continue working. I didn’t sell my apartment but started to rent it out to gather income. It was a shock to us both, when at the next scan; we were told I was expecting twins. I left, yet again, with a pale face while Kieran’s was beaming.

  Changing the song on the CD while I wait for the over excited dad-to-be to hurry up, a pain shoots across my stomach. It isn’t the first time I have felt this, only last week the doctor told me that it was a common occurrence and it is my body getting ready for the birth. Knowing that I really should be resting at eight months gone and huge, I just couldn’t resist wanting to meet Sarah at the airport on her first visit to us. Her partner, Justin will be arriving in two weeks but I needed Sarah to be with me for the arranged delivery that is booked for next week. The next sharp pain comes fast and fierce and makes me cry out for Kieran. I hold tight onto the steering wheel trying to transfer the pain onto something else. This can’t be happening today, I need to pick up Sarah for her to be with me too.

  “Good god Julia what’s wrong.” Kieran stands with the drivers’ door open wide with a worried look I haven’t seen for a long time, etched across his face.

  “I think the babies want to arrive Kieran. I don’t want them to come today. They shouldn’t. This isn’t what we planned for the birth.”

  “Are you sure it isn’t another of those Braxton things?”

  “I wish it was. Oh god it’s happening again.” I yelp at him panting out the contraction like I was taught in antenatal classes.

  “Shit right, shit this is for real. I need to get your bag. Wait there, don’t move I’ll be really quick.” With the door left open, I hear Kieran trampling over the gravel, as I close my eyes tight through the pain.

  “Kieran hurry.” I shout out to the vast emptiness around me not sure if my body can cope with much more.

  Throwing my pre-packed bags into the back, Kieran helps me gently and slowly out of my seat.

  “Slowly does it sweetheart, slowly. You’re doing really well.” His soothing voice tries to calm me as I make my way to the passenger door barely able to walk with this pressure pressing down on me.

  “I don’t know if I can do this.” I start to cry with my hand up on the doorframe.

  “Of course you can, you are the strongest woman I know.”

  “But I’m going to be a terrible mother, look at me. I’m a mess I can’t even get up into the jeep.” I sob.

  “Shall I get the moped for you?”

  “Oh Kieran that is so not funny.”

  Kieran rubs my lower back and brushes my sticky hair off my face with his other hand. “Julia you are beautiful. Our babies are going to be beautiful and with your kind nature and my good looks they will be perfect.”

  “Kieran!!!!” I double over my large protruding stomach as the next contraction shoots through me.

  “Pant it out Julia, breathe through the contraction. Remember think of the end result of the pain.”

  “Thatttts easyyyy forrr youuuu tooooo sayyy.” I’m barely able to get out between each breath.

  I rock back and forth at the side of the jeep panting until the pain subsides enough for me to get into the seat. Kieran runs around to the driver’s side and pulls the seat belt around my girth. “Need to protect you and those babies sweetheart. Right lets get you to the maternity ward, they don’t seem to want to wait around.” Smiling at me he brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “It’s time to meet our family.”

  His hand locks into mine as he drives the jeep fast but safely towards the hospital. Between my grunts, yelps and pants Kieran makes a phone call to Izzie to arrange her to collect Sarah from the airport and another to our doctor to be waiting for us on our arrival.

  The journey seems longer than it usually takes and by the time we get there Kieran’s hand is well and truly squeezed. A wheelchair is ready for me at the door but I refuse.

  “Don’t be so stubborn.” Kieran tells me and I shoot him a look.

  “I’m pregnant Kieran not sick. I read that walking helps.”

  “Okay, okay but take my arm and let me help.”

  I lean on him as we walk down the passageway to the examining room, stopping once along the way for me to get through another painful contraction. As soon as we get into the room the place is a hive of activity. The nurse guides me to the examination bed. Not sure where to stand, Kieran hovers between me and the door until the nurse kindly tells him to go and get himself a coffee until I am hooked up to the monitors and checked over.

  “You are nearly ready. Those babies are determined to be a natural birth.” The fluent English-speaking nurse with the nametag Rosa tells me after her examination. “I will call the doctor, I’m afraid that you might not have time to have the epidural or the C-section that is on your birth plan. Gas and air will help you through your contractions and we will see what the doctor decides. Here on the next one breathe on this. It will help.” Handing me a piece of equipment that I had seen on my tour of the hospital I start to cry again. “Hey no need for tears, what are they for?” Rosa asks.

  “I don’t want any more pain. I want the epidural.”

  “Now don’t be upsetting yourself. Gas and air was used before epidural was ever invented. Your birth seems to be going fast. Just let your body do its job.”

  Breathing hard onto the device, another contraction tightens the muscles inside. An over powering urge to push comes over me.

  “I need to push.” I tell her after the pain briefly eases.

  Pressing the button over my bed Rosa helps me to sit up a little. I know this from other mums talking that it is a better position for the birth and one I am happy to do as my back up to the C-section.

  Kieran enters back into the room following behind more staff and my doctor. After checking my chart, the monitor I am attached to and examining me, he stands beside the edge of the bed. “I think both babies are ready. Next time you get a contraction, I want you to push down hard.”

  We didn’t have to wait long before the wave of urgency to push arrives. As I breathe deeply through the device, Kieran lets me squeeze his hand tight while encouraging me. I push again and again, my chin taut towards my chest as I bear down until Rosa instructs me to start panting. Kieran looks at where Rosa is guiding him and his face is one full of pride. He broadly smiles as he reaches up for my hand. “It’s our baby Julia, I can see the head,” his eyes beam at me.

  With the doctor’s command I push again, my face hot with tension and my teeth clasped tight as our baby slithers from my body with force.

  My heart swells as I watch Kieran cut the umbilical cord and Rosa places my new bundle of joy on my chest. The tears j
ust flow as I stare at how beautiful and perfect she looks with her tiny little Kieran nose and my eyes, all that pain to receive a precious gift in my arms was worth it. I didn’t think my heart could have room for the love that is radiating for her and Kieran right at this moment. Planting a kiss on her forehead I pass her back to Rosa as she takes her over to another nurse waiting to examine her.

  “Well done my darling, see you can do it.” Kieran softly says as he wipes my damp forehead with a towel. It doesn’t take long before another contraction starts. “Oh Kieran, I don’t think I can do this again.”

  “Of course you can, look at what you’ve already achieved, a gorgeous healthy baby girl. Now her sister is in a hurry to meet her and what kind of parents would we be if she had to stay in your belly forever?”

  Passing me the mouthpiece, I close my mouth around it and breathe deeply in, grasping my teeth on the plastic.

  Going through the same motions of panting, pausing and pushing, our second child is welcomed into the world screaming.

  “Oh this one has a good pair of lungs on her.” I hear another nurse say as my daughter is placed on my bare chest. Her little pink mouth becomes silent and she closes her eyes in my arms. I lean down and kiss her warm forehead still damp from the birth. She smells so pure; I can hardly believe she is ours.

  “Kieran look at her, she looks just like her sister but with dark hair.”

  “She is perfect Julia, both girls are perfect just like their mum.” He whispers to me, kissing my sweaty forehead. Reluctantly I have to hand her over for her turn to be examined and for the doctor to check me.

  When the room hushes and only two nurses remain, I hold my first born again. Kieran cradles our other daughter in his arms and she looks so tiny in her daddy’s very protective hold. Lifting our daughter’s small delicate hand, her skin is so soft. I am overcome with unconditional love for my little family. Life can be tough. It can be deceitful, tiresome and sorrowful. But sometimes things have to happen to make us stronger, to allow those we never knew, come into our lives. Without Sarah pulling me from my old apartment that day, I would never have met Kieran and learnt what lies I was tangled in. Without the love he has had from me from the first meeting I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today. Stronger, freer and feeling more loved than I have ever been.