Paper Dolls

by Sienna Mynx

  She leaned against the sink and closed her eyes as she waited for him to answer.

  “Baby! What the fuck is going on? I’m going fucking crazy! I’m about to get on a plane in the morning and…”

  “Slow down, Earl,” she said softly.

  “It’s all over the news. The video. The fucking cops!” he yelled in the phone.

  “I’m sorry it took so long for me to call you. I was dealing with…”

  “Are you okay? Fuck, baby! Tell me you’re okay. Please.”

  “I’m fine. You know I got Zee and Raven to take care of me. It’s a horrible mistake. But it’s over. I’m home and I’m fine.”

  “I’ll be there soon.”

  “Earl, don’t rush back. Finish what you have to handle there and then come home. I swear I’m okay. I’m so sorry, Earl. So sorry for everything.”

  “Shhh… damn, girl. You got a nigga about to lose his mind. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes. I swear it. I’m fine,” she sighed. “I just need you to know that I have always loved you. That you were my savior when I lost everything. I’m grateful to you. I owe you so much, Earl.”

  “I love you too, baby. I need a few more days. If you swear to me that you’re okay I’ll take them. And then I’m home. For good. Okay?”

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  “Hey? You my girl no matter what, always,” he said.

  She wiped at her tears. “Goodnight.”

  “Night. And turn your fucking phone back on. Promise me. I want to talk to you every day.”

  “I will. Promise. Good night.”

  “Night, sweetheart,” he said.

  Valentina sniffed. She stared at the phone in her hand and tears dropped. The only reason she delayed him was to delay this pain. There was no conversation she could have with him to explain her choice. And she dreaded it. She wished for an answer, any option that would keep him from hating her.

  “Oh God, help me. This is hard to do.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Heartbreak

  “Tah-dah! Eat ‘em up!” Valentina grinned.

  Mattel’s gaze lowered to his plate. Two slices of heavy buttered burnt toast, eggs that were supposed to be scrambled were gooey and runny, and some kind of meat that he thought to be sausage was so crisp it looked like a twig.

  “Well?” he began “You said you wanted to fix me breakfast and um, looks like you did.”

  “It’s the second best thing I can cook other than spaghetti.” She moved her chair in closer. She picked up the toast and bit off it. She smiled then put it to his lips. Matt opened his mouth and accepted a bite. He forced a smile while he crunched on the charred bread.

  “Sorry I didn’t wake you last night, you looked so peaceful sleeping I had to put you in my bed,” he said.

  “Stop lying. You just wanted me to stay the night. Oh, and I felt you last night, you aren’t slick,” she laughed.

  Mattel swallowed. He pushed the plate back. “I was on my best behavior. A little feel here and there isn’t against the rules, is it?” he slipped his hand under the table to caress up her thigh.

  She winked. “Guess not.”

  “How does it feel?” he asked.

  “Mmm? Bring it up a little more and I’ll tell you,” she said parting her knees.

  “No, I’m talking about finally getting to the end. How does it feel?” he asked.

  Valentina sat back in her chair and her smile broadened across her face. Her eyes held a sheen, in them he saw a talented artist. It was the look of renewed purpose just before they were ready to release a song. “It feels like a new beginning. We did it. Outside of your polishing, it’s done, right? My first solo album is done,” she said.

  “Yes you did it. I always knew you could, Valentina. We just had to get down in there and dig it out.” He poked her side. “You should be very proud.”

  “I love you, Matt.” She shifted gears on him. Their eyes locked again. “God it feels good to say that. To admit it.”

  Mattel watched her push back from her seat. She wore one of his jerseys and panties. She was making him crazy with how her nipples peaked through the material. She came over to sit in his lap. He pulled her in closer, and again caressed her thigh while kissing her arm. “It feels good to hear you say it. You are very important to me,” he said.

  “It’s strange,” she said. She reached back and tried to feed him some of the cold gooey eggs. He rolled his eyes and ate it like a big boy. She wiped his mouth and kissed his lips.

  “What’s strange?” he asked before he forced himself to swallow.

  “I was just thinking about when I was a kid. I was shuffled around so much; music was the only thing that made me happy. I mean with my mom in and out of the streets, I spent more nights with relatives than her. It was hard competing for attention from my aunts and uncles when their kids came first. Ya know what I mean?”

  He nodded.

  “And when I became a behavioral problem they dumped me in foster care. Far worse than anything I could have imagined.” Valentina stared off and shuddered through the memory. She found it hard to return to Brooklyn even with her success. It always felt as if the only reason that her family would want to see her was to show her off like some trick pony. Or ask for money. A teacher took interest in her when she was seventeen and helped her apply for grants for college. That’s how her life changed. She met Zephyr and Raven and began to believe in herself for the first time. She began to believe in her dreams. But that thirst to be the center of attention fueled by her demons of neglect, turned her against everyone. Zephyr and Raven endured her bullshit. AK put up with her bullshit. And she took them all for granted.

  “So music saved you as a kid?” Mattel asked.

  “When I sang it was like everyone in the family was focused on me, I was the one that they loved, that made them smile. I was the one they would call neighbors to come over to hear me sing. So for me, music became my only source of happiness. How could I have fucked it all up, Matt? Destroyed my group, and alienated friends in the industry. I really did come into the business with a good heart. Not to be some laughed at diva. Do you see what they say about me now on the Internet?”

  “People still love you. Your true fans are out there. And so are your true friends.”

  “You don’t understand,” she said. She tried to feed him some more. He stopped her and put the fork down.

  “I do understand. You play so tough. Trying to remind us that you can survive off so little. You pretend that you don’t need anyone, and you don’t care what others think. Truth is it’s just your way of saying how much you do want to be loved. That’s how I saw it from the first day we met.”

  “Please, I was a bitch. Everyone knows it. They got video footage on TMI to prove it,” she chuckled.

  “Maybe you were, money and fame can fuck you up. But there’s more to it and you know it. I think you were always seeking a different kind of attention. You got my attention now and I can tell you, I love what I see.”

  She hugged him. Mattel had a manly feel to him that made her stomach flutter. “I like what I feel. I just wish I could feel a little more,” she said running her hand over his chest and moistening her lips. She leaned in and put her forehead to his so that their lips were close to meeting. They hadn’t so much as kissed since they almost made love. It was making her crazy. She wanted him between her thighs badly.

  “When does AK come back?” Mattel’s gaze lowered when she threw her long legs over the arm of the chair and gave him a peek at her upper thighs.

  “I talk to him every day. He’ll be in at the end of the week,” she breathed.

  “Did you tell him anything?” Mattel asked.

  “No.” She eased up and stood. “Not over the phone, I couldn’t do that.”

  “But you will?” Mattel asked.

  Valentina frowned. “Of course, when the time is right, I’ll tell him.”

  “No, Valentina, you need to tell my man soon. D
oes he know about the arrest?”

  “He does. He was pretty pissed I didn’t call him first. Either way I don’t want him to know about us until I can explain it the right way. Break it to him easy.”

  He reached out and took hold of her wrist bringing her back in. “Hey, I won’t sneak around with you. That man needs to know, and you need to tell him as soon as you see him.”

  “Wait a minute. This is someone I care about, I can’t just shit all over him. This has to done right,” she reasoned.

  “What do you think we’re doing right now?” Mattel asked.

  Valentina looked around at the breakfast. “Just having breakfast, you’re my producer.”

  “Who you say you love, who you lay with, kiss, and share your feeling with. Is anything about this something AK could get with? Valentina, I’m trying to save you some pain here. There’s nothing wrong with our love, but if you hide it, it can backfire and blow up in your face. There will never be a good way to tell a man that loves you—you don’t feel the same. Trust me I was on the receiving end of it remember?”

  Valentina sighed. “I’m scared. Okay? You don’t know how much he loves me, Matt. I’m not being conceited. You didn’t hear him before he left. He was talking about marriage, kids, all of it. I’m scared what I’ve done will destroy what makes him a good guy. Damn! I really screwed this one up.” She groaned. “I just couldn’t deny my feelings for you any longer.”

  “Get it over with. I know it’s hard. I’m not trying to say it isn’t.”

  “I’ve got two days left until the weekend, let’s not talk about Earl until I have to deal with Earl. Deal?” she asked.

  “Works for me, how about dinner tonight and I’ll cook.”

  “I can cook! I can make spaghetti,” she smiled.

  Matt squeezed her. “Nooooooo! No more cooking! Pppllllleeeeaaaassseeeeee!”

  Valentina laughed. He tickled her until she screamed. She broke free. “I have to go get dressed, it’s Wednesday. I’m meeting the girls for lunch at our spot. Raven called this morning saying she has news.” She backed away then stopped. She rushed him and leapt on him. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her lips covered his mouth.

  Mattel caught her. She gave him a lasting kiss. The one she’d been dying to give since she arrived at his house. He tasted just as she imagined. Breaking from her with a bottomless groan he squeezed her ass, and she kissed his eyelids, cheeks, and then returned to his mouth, sweeping her tongue over his, holding on by his nape.

  “Mmm, baby. I do like the way you taste, the way you feel.” Valentina slid down his hard frame.

  “You ain’t felt it yet,” he said and pinched her once more.

  She smiled and hurried off to his bedroom where her clothes were. Funny, it was almost like she floated.

  **

  “So what’s this surprise?” Valentina asked. She accepted her drink. “Did you already order?”

  “I took care of it, I know what you two want.” Zephyr said, and checked her watch. “Don’t know about the surprise, but she’s late so that means she pays.”

  Valentina looked up at Zephyr. “I have to say this late person pays rule ain’t hardly fair. The salon is down the street and your butt is always early.”

  “Don’t even go there. Last time we met you got all huffy and walked out. I ended up paying.”

  Valentina shrugged. “Ooops! My bad.”

  “Mmhm,” Zephyr chided. Her eyes switched to Raven who had breezed in. She wore a tangerine summer dress that hugged her curves and her hair fell in neatly groomed curls around her shoulders. She strutted in with such confidence that Zephyr had to blink to see if it was her friend. Last time she saw her she was a blubbering, crying mess.

  “Hi, girls!’ Raven said.

  “Hey? Girl, what you smoking, something got you high as a kite,” Valentina laughed. Raven flashed them a movie star smile. It was a mixture of glamour and mystery.

  “Move over,” Raven said. She pushed her way into the booth. Valentina did as she was told. Zephyr stared at her puzzled. “So how are my two very best friends in the world?”

  “Okay, what the hell happened? You told Alexander, and you two got back together?” Zephyr asked.

  Valentina started choking on her margarita. “Wait whaaat?”

  Raven smiled at Valentina. She passed her a napkin. “You okay?”

  “You’re getting back with Alexander?” Valentina asked shocked.

  “Oh honey, yes.” Raven announced loudly. She grinned in her friend’s face. “But my therapist says that may be a ways off. Either way, when he gets the new and improved me, the man won’t know what hit him.”

  Their favorite waitress brought over Raven’s special margarita. “No thanks, hun. I’m off the alcohol.”

  “Okay, Rae, start talking. What the heck has gotten into you?” Valentina demanded.

  Raven laughed so loud several people looked over. She covered her mouth and giggled. Lowering her hand she smiled. “Before we talk about what’s gotten into me, let’s clear one thing up. Alexander Katz, my husband, my wonderful sexy, rich, beautiful—”

  “Girl, cut the shit and just say it!” Valentina snapped.

  “He never cheated on me. Kim the skanky-ho, lied and it never happened. He has been mine and all mine from day one. And he loves me so much that—”

  “Who the hell is Kim?” Valentina frowned.

  “That’s her name remember?” Zephyr said. “We gave her the nickname Asia.”

  “Oh, okay. Enough already,” Valentina sighed. “Damn, I’m in love too but I don’t act like that.”

  “That’s cause the gunslinger likes his woman hard.” Zephyr tossed out.

  “His name is AK, damn!” Valentina shot her a look.

  “Sorry, don’t be so sensitive, ” Zephyr smirked.

  “For your information, Zee, it’s not AK—”

  “Wait, let me finish my news!” Raven pouted.

  Zephyr put up her hand. “Hold up, Rae. I think Valentina has some news that we need to hear.”

  Valentina smiled down in her drink. She could feel their eyes on her. “I’m in love with Matt.”

  “We know.” They said together.

  “No, I mean I love him,” Valentina said.

  “WE KNOW!” they said in unison again. Valentina laughed.

  Raven put her arm around her. “Whew, it’s about time that you knew though. Right, Zee?”

  “Yes, thank the lord, finally you got a white boy so you can lay off me.”

  “Oh don’t get it twisted. I like my black men, it’s just that Matt’s love is colorless,” she blushed. “Besides he’s half-native.”

  “Awe damn that’s so sweet, Valentina,” Zephyr said, “Wait? What about—”

  “AK?” Valentina finished for her. “Well there’s that. I haven’t quite ended things with him yet. But I plan to!” she said quickly. “He’s out of town. When he gets back I will tell him.”

  Raven shook her head. “That sounds messy.”

  “Hell it sounds dangerous, the man is named after an assault rifle.” Zephyr frowned.

  Valentina laughed, but they didn’t. “Earl’s a pussycat. He will be upset but he’s nothing like his music. Trust me I can handle him,” she said to herself more than them.

  “Seriously, girl, I didn’t know you had it in you. You and Matt finally an item, wow.” Zephyr sipped her drink.

  Valentina shot Zephyr the finger and Raven let go a thunder burst of giggles. They both looked at her like she was crazy. “Ugh, you are really working a nerve with all this giggling. What the hell is wrong with you?” Valentina asked.

  Raven’s eyes began to tear. She touched her chest. “I’ve got something for you both.”

  The food arrived as Raven dug in her purse and pulled out two cards. She gave one to Zephyr and the other to Valentina. They both accepted them with questioning eyes. “Now open the envelopes together. I want you to see it at the same time.”

  The two nodded, th
ey pealed open the envelopes. Inside they found identical cards that read: CONGRATULATIONS! First Zephyr, then Valentina looked over to their friend. Raven beamed and nodded for them to read the inside. They did.

  Congratulations you’re going to be an AUNTIE

  I’m pregnant – Rae

  “Holy shit!” Valentina gasped, she looked at Raven stunned. “Rae? What? How?”

  “So I had to go to the doctor before my therapy session. To get my annual physical for insurance reasons. And they drew blood. Bam! I’m going to be a mommy again!”

  “Is it Alexander’s?” Valentina asked.

  “Of course it’s his! I’ve only been with Alexander my entire life. I have never had sex with any other—”

  “Calm down, Miss Priss!” Valentina laughed. “I thought you and Kevin were a thing.”

  “Nope, they never were a thing,” Zephyr said.

  “What do you mean, Zee?”

  “I don’t mean to be a downer. I mean this is really good news, but—”

  Valentina and Raven stared at her waiting. Zephyr cleared her throat. “Rae, you lost the baby in your last trimester. It nearly killed you with depression. And you’re trying to work on getting yourself together. I just think that, well—”

  “Why are you bringing that up now?” Valentina asked.

  “Hear me out, I want her to be happy, come on guys, it’s been a bad season.”

  “A what?” Raven asked.

  “This ain’t baseball,” Valentina said.

  “My mom says that there is no bad luck, just seasons of bad times. That we all weather them. Paper Dolls is under attack. You got arrested, Valentina, and José lost his pitching career.”

  “What does that have to do with Rae being pregnant?” Valentina demanded.

  “Let her finish, Valentina,” Raven said softly.

  “No! Here she comes with that doom and gloom bullshit. We both know how much you want kids, Rae. I mean, Zee, that’s so damn insensitive.”

  Zephyr dropped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything bad.”

  “It’s okay, you’re right. I lost the baby the first time. I put you guys through hell. I put Alexander through hell,” her voice croaked. “I’m sorry for it. But this baby wasn’t planned. Alexander came back to me because he loved me, and that night when we were together it was so natural. It just was meant to be. I’m not saying that I can trust myself, or him, or anybody, I’m just happy that God gave me another chance to try. Does that make sense?”