Voyage to Ayama

by K. A Knight

  “You a pilot?” he nods at the patch on my shirt and I grin freely.

  “Trainee.” They both look impressed. “Effie is a healer trainee.” She nods along mutely.

  “So, brain and beauty,” Eldon says looking at me. Auden winks at me.

  “Smooth, how many times did you practice that line?” I ask smugly. They both laugh.

  “Not working huh?” Eldon asks. I shrug.

  “I’ve heard better, try again?” I see the challenge in his eyes and I know mine reflect it.

  “How about: I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.” Auden wiggles his brows suggestively at me. I hold in my smile by biting my lip, that was terrible.

  “No? Okay, how about: do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material!” I do smile at this; their banter is as contagious as is their smiles. Effie is practically a puddle of goo watching them.

  “Do those ever work?” I flick my eyes between them.

  “You tell us,” Eldon says with a flirty smile. I pretend to think about it.

  “I don’t know, they seem a bit cheesy,” I smirk.

  “It got you smiling though.” Auden high fives his brother.

  “And what a smile it is.” Eldon winks at me. My smile grows until a hand lands on my shoulder. I groan and lean my head back to meet Barrott’s eyes.

  “What?” I say bitchily.

  “Dumping a bowl on her, really?” I can tell he’s trying to be stern, but his lips are twitching.

  “Yup. Problem?” I fake innocent and smile sweetly at him. He grins at it.

  “No.” His voice is soft like his eyes. He looks up, his eyes harden, and his smile disappears.

  “Who are you?” I roll my eyes. Two seconds, two whole seconds he was normal. It’s a record. I look back at Eldon and Auden. They glance from him to me, still smiling.

  “Hi, we are Indy’s new musketeers.” I groan at Auden’s words. It’s cute how they speak for each other though.

  “That right?” He says with a look at me. I offer him a shrug.

  “How did training go?” His voice is his ‘answer me now’ one.

  “Fine,” I mutter. He stares at me before looking up. I can see his jaw grinding.

  “Okay. I'll swing by your unit later. I better not catch you racing tonight.” He nods to Effie and walks off. I don’t know why he’s even in here, guards eat in the other dining room.

  “Who’s that?” Eldon asks curiously. Effie leans forward.

  “Indy’s ever-present bodyguard.” She giggles. I slap her arm slightly but don’t correct her.

  “I knew you were trouble.” Auden grins and I find myself grinning back.

  “What was that about racing?” Eldon asks, I wink at him.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  He glances at his brother and then they both look back at me, playfulness on their faces.

  “How about a bet? If you win, you can pick a prize. If we win, you have to tell us about the racing.” I stare at Auden, my reckless side can’t turn down a challenge, and Effie knows it because she groans.

  “Bet on what?” I watch them. They stand up and offer me one hand each.

  “We’ll show you. You coming, Effie?” Eldon’s voice suppresses my questions. I stand, ignoring their hands and Effie and I follow them out.

  TRANSMISSION LOG 00302

  DATE: 2033

  MISSION: 43, COLONY

  SHIP: DAWNBREAKER

  DESTINATION: AYAMA

  >…………… Accepted

  > The rebel attacks have gotten worse. We are unsure where they are getting their weapons from. They also sent us a message. “Tell the ship the truth or else.” Please advise on how to proceed?

  The brothers lead us to the lagoon, at this time of the day it’s dead. I get the afternoon off luckily, so does Effie. It’s one of the perks of graduating early. Auden and Eldon start stripping, and I take a second to appreciate their bodies; slim, but packed with muscle. They both have an eight pack, and that delicious V shown by their low riding jeans. I slowly make my way back up to where they are grinning at me. I don’t blush, I don’t care about being caught checking them out. After all, that’s what they wanted. Effie stammers and turns bright red.

  “What kind of challenge is this?” She bursts out. I grin, so do the brothers.

  “Race you to the wall and back,” Auden says.

  “There’s two of you, how is that fair?” I arch my eyebrow. I’m not above cheating and looking innocent. They consider it seriously.

  “You can have a head start.”

  I smile innocently. Thanks.”

  They grin again. They don’t know I swim laps when I can’t sleep. This lagoon is basically a swimming pool, which has a beach into the water and then a wall at the other end. Seats run along the beach as does a small jetty. I had been so impressed when I first saw it.

  “You in, or are you scared?” Eldon taunts.

  I smile evilly. I slowly pull my top off revealing my lacy white bra. I hear them muttering, and I make sure to make eye contact as I slowly lower my trousers. Standing in nothing but a thong and a lace bra, I wink at the brothers. Their eyes are locked on my body and heating fast. I know I have a nice body, I don’t flaunt it but I’m not scared of using it when I need to.

  I slowly walk towards them where they stand in front of the jetty. I make sure to sway my hips. At the last minute, I turn and sprint down the jetty calling over my shoulder.

  “Ready, set, GO!” I scream the last as I dive in. I instantly start swimming, my competitive nature hard to resist. I can hear their swearing from here. They splash as they enter the water, making me swim harder. I’m about halfway when I feel a tug on my ankle. They both grab one and yank me back. I nearly sputter water as they race past. Oh, game on.

  I chase them but their legs and arms are longer and they touch the wall just before me. I end up treading water in the middle of them both, laughing.

  “Cheats,” I accuse around a laugh.

  “Like you aren’t,” Auden says. He slicks his hair back, and my mouth goes dry, it makes him look so much older.

  “Race you back?”

  They both nod and we all start swimming. I slow a bit and they keep pace with me. I dunk under and grab onto Auden’s arm. He doesn’t expect it and goes under as I swim past. Eldon is still going. I try to grab his ankle, he stops and dunks under. They both chase me and take turns pushing me under the water.

  It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. We all swim back to the beach when we get tired where Effie is laid reading a book. I walk towards her, with my up to no good smile in place. She doesn’t even see me coming before I jump on her, drenching her.

  “INDY!” She screams and tries to push me off.

  I squeeze my hair on her and she screams louder. Someone picks me up and chucks me back in the water, and when I surface, I see Auden and Eldon both with innocent expressions on their face. I smile and then make my way out again. They both watch as water runs down my body, and I can’t help but tremble a little at their expressions.

  I walk towards a free chair and grab a towel, drying off and trying to ignore them. I end up just putting my shirt back on, for now, still too wet to put my trousers back on. When everyone is dried, we drag the chairs closer and sit in a circle talking.

  “So, racing?” Auden asks. I guess they did win, even if they cheated.

  “It’s down below, we race modded speeders.” They both look intrigued, they are definitely adrenaline junkies like me.

  “I heard rumours but never-” Eldon whispers. Auden practically bounces on his seat.

  “Can we go?” I laugh at his hopeful expression.

  “Sure, next time, you can bring Effie.” They both nod eagerly, she stares at me in shock.

  “I get to come?” She asks hopefully, as I glance at her.

  “Yeah, it will be good for you to get out.” She smiles softly at me.

  “When is it?” Eldon asks
mirroring his brother’s excitement. I shrug.

  “We get a message the morning of.” They both nod again.

  “So what are we doing now?” They ask in unison, it’s cute. Effie heaves up with a sigh.

  “Some of us have work. See ya later Indy.” She waves at the brothers, and I smile at her retreating form.

  “So what are we doing?” Auden wiggles his eyebrows.

  “I was going to have a chill afternoon,” I say stretching back on the chair.

  “Can we join?” Eldon asks. I smile as I look up at the painted sun and blue sky on the ceiling. I pretend to think about it and the next thing I know, one of them is on top of me, shaking out their wet hair. Jumping up with a giggle, I chase after them.

  We spend the afternoon at the beach talking, laughing and playing. Effie refused to keep taking bets with me, she said I get too crazy. The brothers have no such qualms, they challenge me all the time, it keeps it interesting. By the end of the day, I owe them a massage each, a cuddle. and a favour of their choosing. Auden owes me a foot rub, the right to call him sweet cheeks for the rest of the week and his dessert for the next three days. Eldon only owes me a favour.

  It’s strange how comfortable I am around them. I usually get bored of people after an hour or so and I don’t tend to let people in. I guess it’s nice not to be known as the orphan. Their eyes don’t hold pity, I hope it stays that way.

  That night I’m sitting in my lonely living quarters when the buzzer for the door sounds. I frown and walk towards it. I hope it's Barrott but I also kind of don’t. When I look through the camera and see the brothers, I start to panic. They don’t know I’m alone! I open the door and block their way.

  “Hey guys, what are you doing here?” Auden holds up a bag and then shimmy’s past me. Eldon offers me a sweet smile and kisses my cheek as he follows his brother.

  “Where’s the parentals?” Eldon asks. A throb of pain runs through me which I cover by turning my back on them and using the scanner to close the door,

  “Work,” I say vaguely.

  “Awesome,” Auden says and starts dumping the bag’s contents on the table. I walk closer, my curiosity getting the better of me, and spot the alcohol. I shake my head with a smile. It’s not hard to find up here but it can be pricey.

  “What are we doing?” I ask leaning on the chair back. Auden and Eldon give me matching grins.

  “We are playing ‘never have I ever,’ sweetheart.” Auden winks at me. I can’t help but grin back. Their personalities are already filling up the empty space, the cold space warms for the first time in a year. I pull out the chair and sit down, trying to stay in the moment.

  “Let’s do it.” They turn to each other.

  “Told you she would,” Auden says. Eldon rolls his eyes and then winks at me. He goes and grabs cups and sits down opposite me. Auden sits down next to him and shows me the three bottles.

  “Ladies choice.” I grab the bottle of whiskey and a cup. Eldon grabs his chest dramatically.

  “I think I’m in love.” His voice is dreamy. I flip him off and start pouring.

  “Never have I ever stolen anything,” Eldon declares, I take a sip and their shocked faces look back at me. I smirk. If they thought I was some goody two shoes, they were wrong.

  “Whaaa-“Auden drags on. I lean back.

  “What did you steal?” Eldon asks.

  “That’s not part of the game,” I remind.

  “Come on beautiful, spill.” I look at Auden.

  “Beautiful, really?” I smile.

  “Stunning?” Eldon chimes in.

  “Sexy?” Auden adds.

  “Ravishing?” Eldon shouts louder.

  “Good looking?” Auden shouts over him. I can't help it, I laugh hard, my smile wide enough to make my cheeks ache. Eldon nods.

  “I like that one. So, good looking, spill.” They both look so eager.

  “Fine, if you get to call me that I’m going to call you…” I trail off tapping my chin. They both lean forward eager.

  “Pretty?” I suggest. They look disgusted.

  “Handsome?” I offer. Eldon nods. I look at Auden and wink.

  “Cutie.” He smiles, flashing me dimples I didn’t know he had. Holy space balls.

  “Okay, but you still need to tell us.”

  I groan in mock frustration. “Fine. I stole a bike on Earth.” Their jaws drop.

  “As in a motorbike?” Auden asks incredulously.

  “Yup, cutie.” I take a sip and watch.

  “From who?”

  “My shit stick of a next-door neighbour. I took it for a joy ride and then left it on his front garden covered in mud.”

  They both laugh.

  “Never have I ever been in love,” Auden says watching me closely. I don’t sip.

  “Really?” Eldon asks. He sounds hopeful. I shrug one shoulder.

  “There was a guy on Earth. If I stayed, I could see myself loving him, I was already halfway there.” I’m honest with them. They flick a look at each other but I decide to carry on the game.

  “Never have I ever space walked.” The game goes on like that and before it finishes, we are all a bit tipsy. I tell them they can sleep here tonight on the couch if they want. They ask if my parentals will mind, I just smile and say no.

  It’s nice having someone else here. I fall asleep with a smile on my face, the whisky heating my blood.

  DAY 913

  “Hey good looking, what’s Indy short for?” Eldon asks as we walk towards the dining room for breakfast. Each brother is on a side of me, walking so close our hands brush. I pointedly ignore the tingles that each touch causes.

  “Nothing. My mum named me after some astronomy software. Ironic right?” I snort. They hum their agreement. We carry on walking, slowly getting closer to one another until both of my arms feel like they have been stuck in a plug socket.

  Grief is strange. You can be okay one minute and the next you’re a wreck. Some days I can push it to the back of my mind and forget about it, some days it just hits you in the face. Time lessens it, but the pain is still there, and the smallest things can trigger you. Seeing the mother with her arm wrapped around her kid laughing as they walk by is a big one. The pain hits me, I choke it down and force a smile at the brother’s banter. I look at the floor, concentrating on walking and breathing, the pain bubbling like a volcano ready to erupt. I run into something hard and look up. Both brothers are standing in front of me, blocking my way with a frown. I force a smile, although I’m betting it’s more a grimace.

  “What’s up?” My voice is strained, but it’s the best I can do. I usually hide away when this happens, give myself some time to deal with it. Then I bottle it back up and move on like nothing happened. Eldon lifts his eyebrow at me.

  “I was just going to ask you that?”

  I look anywhere but at their faces.

  “Nothing, let’s get some food.” I try to step around them, but Auden blocks me. I stop and glare at the floor. Can’t they just leave me be?

  “Good looking, what’s going on?” Auden’s voice is soft and filled with worry.

  “What do you mean?” I mutter, staring at their feet. They have large feet. Okay, concentrate on the shoes, what do they look like, what colour are they? Eldon steps into me and lifts my chin, stopping my coping mechanism.

  “Sweetheart, what’s going on?” I start to panic as I can feel the tears coming on. I step back shaking my head, but they don’t allow me to go any further. Auden circles to my back and Eldon to my front. My breathing picks up, they can’t hug me, I'll break down. I can’t do that, no one can know I’m not okay. Eldon lifts his arms and goes to hug me; I panic. I dart around him and sprint back to my unit. Not much rational thinking left, all I know is I need to get away before they find out or make me cry.

  I make it back and lock the door, my breathing heavy. I look up into the camera when I have my breathing under control. They are both standing there, looking confused at the door.

>   “Indy, let us in. What’s wrong?” Auden sounds distressed and his face is crestfallen.

  “Did we do something?” Eldon asks, sadness in his voice.

  I back away and sit on the floor, my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them as the tears start to fall. Why do they have to be so kind? Why can’t they see I just need to be alone? They are whispering to each other, but I ignore them and start counting. Sometime after my third breakdown, I realised concentrating on something helped me push the feelings back. Counting is the best I can find. When I reach thirty, they look back at the camera.

  “Okay Indy, we will leave you alone for now. We will be at breakfast if you want to join us. If not, we will see you for the evening meal?” Eldon asks. He’s rubbing his head like it hurts. He ends it on a question, but I don’t respond. Auden and Eldon look so sad and rejected, but I don’t have anything in me to comfort them yet, not when the grief is so thick I can almost taste it on my tongue. They wave sadly at the camera and turn away. When I can’t see them anymore, I release a breath I didn’t realise I was holding and carry on counting. It takes to a hundred, better than last time. I stand, go and splash some cold water on my face. I hang my head, well that’s fucked. I can’t go and see them today, they will ask too many questions.

  I feel so raw after that breakdown that I decide to head to flight training early, get some alone time in the simulator. I'll bury my head all day in learning, I’ll try and avoid the brothers. With a frown, I stand up. I haven’t seen Barrott since yesterday. That’s not like him.

  I shake my head, I know he can’t be around me all the time, but he usually comes and checks on me at least once a night. A pang of irrational jealousy spikes through me. What if he was with someone?

  I slowly make my way through the corridors and into the loading bay they use as a flight training centre. I keep my head up, eyes open, looking for the brothers in case I have to dart away. By the time I can see the hangar door, my frown is bigger than ever. With a start, I realise why. I miss Barrott. Fuck that, definitely time for a long day learning about the mechanics of space travel and navigation systems. I lower my head, lost in my own thoughts. I head to the hangar door, but stop when I see Barrott there, his usual frown on his face and his arms crossed. Relief runs through me, then anger. God, I’m a mess today. I ignore him and go to the scanner, he moves and blocks it, forcing me to look at him.