The Heart of the Home

by The Heart of the Home (retail) (epub)

  ‘Just this once,’ her father said. The young woman skipped off like a ten-year-old.

  ‘My wife and I knew this day must come, so you might as well hear our shameful secret. Keeping it is now impossible.’

  Meriel reached for Leo’s hand as he went on, ‘Ellie gave birth to you when we were only seventeen. We weren’t allowed to marry and were separated. Our child –’ he stared at Meriel with his sad eyes for a long moment – ‘was given up for adoption. A year later we had defied them once again and our son Jacob was born. This time our families accepted that we loved each other and allowed us to marry.’

  ‘That’s a lovely story,’ Meriel said softly, her voice quivering with emotion. ‘I’m so relieved. You can’t imagine how many unhappy stories I’ve invented since I learned of my adoption.’

  ‘The story didn’t end there. A year on we had a second daughter, Martha, and our son died. We felt it was punishment for our behaviour, flouting the teaching of the Bible. Even though we were gifted of a second son, who is now eighteen, we didn’t feel forgiven.’

  Meriel didn’t know what to say. Leo offered her his hand to rise. ‘Thank you, Mr and Mrs Roberts-Price. We are most grateful to you for talking to us and explaining why you couldn’t be parents to Meriel. I think I should take her home now.’

  ‘Yes, thank you both. It was not knowing, you see? I didn’t know who I was any more.’

  Mrs Roberts-Price opened a drawer in the table and brought out a locked box. From it she took some papers, many yellow and faded. ‘We were fortunate, knowing you were loved and being given a good life.’ She began spreading out the contents of the box and Meriel saw they were photographs and school reports and some newspaper cuttings showing various sports day events and stepping closer she recognized they were all about herself. She looked at the woman who was her mother and frowned.

  ‘Your new mother was thoughtful and generous,’ Ellie told her. ‘Lynne Evans found out who we were and over the twenty-two years and ten and a half months, has sent news of you.’

  ‘Anonymously of course,’ her husband added, ‘but we knew who was sending them. Such a kind, generous woman to allow us to share in your special moments.’

  Meriel still felt a bit light-headed as they walked to the car. She was tearful but Leo didn’t speak, he held her, silently comforting her, knowing this wasn’t the time for an inquest into the strange visit. That would come later when she had been through it all in her mind.

  *

  At home, Walter was edgy, waiting for Leo to telephone to tell him how the dreaded visit had gone. Instead it was Meriel who rang, from the office when they called to glance through Teifion’s notes for a quick update on the day’s happenings. ‘Dadda, I’ve seen them and I understand why they couldn’t look after me.’

  ‘We were so lucky that they had to part with you,’ Walter said. ‘You’ve brought us so much joy over the years we can never thank them enough.’

  ‘I don’t think they want thanks, but they’re grateful for Mam’s kindness in sending regular reports on my progress. Wasn’t that a wonderful thing to do? They’re such a sad little family.’

  ‘Regular reports?’

  ‘Yes, you know, Mam sent school reports and pieces of news and— Oh no. Don’t tell me you didn’t know!’

  ‘I didn’t know.’

  ‘You aren’t angry?’

  He was bewildered and hurt that he’d not been included in Lynne’s secret, but he said, ‘Hurt? How could I be? Such thoughtfulness is typical of your mother.’

  ‘Dadda, let’s make an end to these secrets. Talk to Mam, tell her you’re pleased she helped them to keep contact.’

  ‘I am pleased, it was a generous thing to do. And you’re right. There’ll be no more secrets, my darling girl.’ But behind his back his fingers were painfully crossed.

  There was still one secret and that must never be revealed.

  *

  Leo went back with Meriel to Badgers Brook, where Lucy was up and preparing a meal insisting she would be well enough to work the following day. As they ate Meriel told her all they had learned. With coffee beside them Leo and Meriel talked about the day and the strangeness of the family they had met.

  ‘It’s as though they’re punishing themselves for loving each other,’ Lucy surmised. ‘Keeping that daughter of theirs on a short leash too, for fear she’ll be as wayward as they once were. If I were her I’d run away and join a group of gypsies, exchange the prison of that home for the freedom of the road.’

  ‘The saddest thing is, it’s probably too late.’ She held Leo’s hand and said, ‘I feel ashamed to say this, but didn’t I have a lucky escape, being brought up by Mam and Dadda instead of being inhibited and choked by their guilt?’

  ‘But if they’d kept you they wouldn’t have felt guilty.’

  ‘Oh yes they would. Some other reason would have been found, it’s what they are. So afraid of life and of making mistakes they don’t do anything that has the slightest risk. They’re ashamed and wrapped up in guilt and fearing a God who is loving and forgiving.’

  ‘Perhaps knowing the secret is out will help them. They might learn from it.’

  ‘Well,’ Lucy said with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, ‘it seems you two have learned a lot today, not the least about yourselves.’

  Leo let Meriel’s hand go and stared at Lucy. ‘Don’t mind me,’ Lucy said with a chuckle. ‘I’m going to wash the dishes and it will take me a very long time!’

  Embarrassed by Lucy’s remarks, afraid Meriel might not have been pleased at the implications, Leo kissed her lightly on the cheek, called ‘Goodnight’ to Lucy, and left. Meriel’s spirits sank. A joke, a hint that he was fond of her and he had run away. She ran down the path and stopped him as he got into the car.

  ‘I’ll want to see them again, will you come?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course I’ll come. We’re friends, aren’t we? You know I’ll do anything to help.’

  ‘That’s very friendly of you. Although it’s probably nothing more than trying to please the boss!’ she retorted as she hurried back inside.

  *

  As it seemed to be the day for sorting out people’s problems even if not his own, Leo went to the Ship and Compass. The bar was quiet. Betty was chatting to Bob and Colin, a couple sat near the fire and Teifion was emptying a tray of washed glasses and putting them in their places. Leo ordered a beer and engaged him in a discussion about his father.

  He didn’t know the facts about Teifion’s childhood and knew he couldn’t really contribute, but as in most cases, all the man needed was someone to listen. He wondered doubtfully if he could keep his thoughts away from Meriel long enough to be any use.

  ‘My father wants me to go back to the business and I can’t,’ Teifion began.

  ‘Why, it’s yours, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be there to keep up with it all?’

  ‘Lots of reasons why I want to stay away, most of them boiling down to my father’s attitude.’

  ‘We all have problems with parents at some time, we usually grow out of it,’ Leo offered.

  ‘I was never happy at home and looking back I’ve spent all my life trying to please him. Making him proud of me was impossible – I learned that at a very young age – but I tried to please him, convinced that would be enough. Now I’ve come to my senses and realize nothing will change. I’m not sure what I’ll do with my life but it will be independent of my father.’

  ‘You’ll tell him that?’

  ‘He won’t listen,’ he replied dolefully, rubbing at a glass that was already shining. ‘The strange thing is, the job wasn’t the problem. I’ve really enjoyed it since working with Lucy – and Meriel, of course.

  ‘Of course.’ He smiled. ‘Lucy being the real draw?’

  ‘I like her very much, but I don’t think we have a future, that’s something else my father has ruined for me. How can she trust me after the way he’s treated them?’

  ‘If it were me, I’d stay awa
y, but you know your father better than I and you must decide.’

  ‘What if he’s ill?’

  ‘That is a sticky one, but he has a wife, that would be her problem to solve, wouldn’t it?’

  When he left, Leo wasn’t sure if he had helped, but had always believed that speaking the words aloud was always better than having them going round and round in the head. He wondered if Lucy was aware of Teifion’s growing attraction but his thoughts soon returned to Meriel and how she was coping with the dramatic developments.

  A note was handed in to the Ship the following morning. It was from George asking Teifion to go home as there was something urgent to discuss. The note was brief but hinted that he, George, needed help.

  Determined to be firm, explain to his father that his interests were no longer with the family business, he set off an hour before opening time. He had hardly reached the gate before hearing voices raised in anger punctuated by the alarming sounds of smashing glass. He began to run up the drive but was almost knocked off his feet by his father running from the house. He was panting, red in the face and blind to everything except his urgent need to get away.

  He began to run after him but was stopped by the slamming of the front door. He turned to see Frieda coming out of the house dragging a couple of suitcases. Ignoring him, she went to the gate and got into a taxi as the driver came up and collected the suitcases.

  Before he could gather his wits and decide what to do, Teifion heard his father’s powerful car leaving the garage. He had to leap onto the lawn to avoid being knocked aside. The taxi had gone and he stood there like a half-melted statue until the sound of it faded away. He was panting almost as much as his father had been.

  Using his key he went into the house wondering what he’d find. He opened the door to chaos. Furniture had been pushed over, every ornament he could see was smashed, as were the fine crystal glasses from the shelves. Picture frames no longer contained glass, and even the curtains had been pulled from their pole. A vase of flowers leaned drunkenly against the wall above the fireplace and water dripped musically onto the metal fire tools below.

  His first thought as he stood gazing at the damage was that neither of the participants had been harmed. He gingerly picked up the phone and told Betty what had happened.

  ‘I’ll get in touch with the woman who used to be the housekeeper,’ she promised, and in less than ten minutes, while he stood bemused, she arrived.

  The capable woman took charge and between them they cleared up the dangerous glass, threw out the broken items and put the room back in some semblance of order.

  Teifion sat there for a long time after the housekeeper had gone, wondering where his father was and whether he’d be back. Eventually he wrote a note and went back to the Ship.

  He went back to the house several times before he went to bed but there was no sign of his return. Days passed and there was still no word. He began to worry and even enquired at the hospital but no one had reported an accident. The office opened daily with George’s assistant in charge and gradually his alarm subsided and he settled back into the daily routine. ‘He’ll be in touch when he needs me,’ he told Betty, with a nonchalance he didn’t feel. ‘Meanwhile the office will manage without him.’

  *

  Unable to find his father and aware that Meriel needed some time off, having been told of the meeting with her first parents, Teifion spent as much time as he could at the office with Lucy. She showed him the letter from Gerald inviting her to lunch. ‘I’m not keen to meet him or his boss. He’s hardly been near since hearing that rumour about me leaving the firm and I’ve been ill with a cold and not a word. Now this. Why would I want to go all the way into Cardiff to meet him and let him show off to his boss about how clever I am? He’s been telling him I own this business, can you believe that? He’s nothing but a poseur, and that’s all this is, he’ll pretend we’re close and boast about me as though the business has nothing to do with Meriel’s expertise.’

  ‘He doesn’t know you if he thinks you’ll let him get away with it!’

  She smiled and said, ‘Won’t he be upset if I tell his boss I’m an unqualified hairdresser, usually employed sweeping up and shampooing hair and helping Meriel with menial jobs?’

  ‘You wouldn’t dare! Or perhaps you would!’

  ‘Poor Gerald, he has a built in snobbery button.’

  ‘What if I meet you after the lunch and we go for a walk in Sophia Gardens, find a café for tea and perhaps go to the pictures, make a day of it?’

  ‘It will probably rain if Gerald is involved,’ she said gloomily.

  ‘I’ll bring an umbrella!’

  ‘I’ll tell him it will have to be in two weeks’ time, as we’re very busy.’

  ‘Fine by me. Just tell me when. Betty Connors will let me have a day off.’

  George appeared later that day and Teifion went to the end of the bar to serve him, wondering whether to ask questions or wait until his father explained what had happened.

  ‘Thanks for clearing up the mess,’ George said, but there was no remorse in his voice and his eyes were clear of any apology. ‘Frieda really went mad that day.’

  ‘Are you all right? You look a bit feverish.’

  ‘Of course I’m all right. What’s the matter with you?’

  ‘And that,’ Teifion told Betty, ‘was the best explanation I can hope for. What’s the matter with the man?’

  ‘Pride,’ Betty said succinctly. ‘He won’t let go of that till he’s in his coffin!’

  *

  Walter was busy and without Leo helping he didn’t have time to go home for lunch. A phone call to Lynne brought her to the office with a wicker picnic hamper filled with small delicacies. ‘Not good to rush a heavy meal, darling,’ she said, spreading out tiny sausage rolls, sandwiches, fruit and some small cakes.

  ‘Have you heard anything more from Leo or Meriel?’ she asked as he finished the last of the fruit.

  ‘I told Leo not to phone, but to concentrate on our daughter.’

  ‘I’m so afraid we’ll lose her love, Walter. This has upset her so much.’

  ‘Love isn’t a limited quantity, silly girl! There’s always more if there’s someone to give it to. If we’d had another daughter we’d love them both and there wouldn’t be less for Meriel, would there? Or any less for you,’ he added.

  ‘Such a pity I wasn’t able to give you children.’

  ‘I haven’t felt the lack of them. Meriel has been such a joy.’

  ‘Will she still be there, after this?’

  ‘I don’t doubt it for a single moment. Now, shall we have a cup of coffee together, before I get back to this sale of shop contents?’ He pointed to a muddle of papers beside the neat list he was making. ‘It’s a wool shop closed down and for sale. I don’t know anything about wool and knitting patterns.’

  ‘Let me help, darling, let’s see what I remember, knit one, make one, purl two, slip one, knit two together—’ Laughter came easily.

  It was almost six o’clock when he closed the office door and they set off home. At exactly the same time, Meriel and Leo were knocking on the door beside the baker’s shop in Bridgend.

  Their intention was not to go in, but to invite the family to visit them at Badgers Brook.

  The daughter was invited too and on the following Saturday evening, they arrived, getting off the bus wearing stiff, obviously best outfits used only rarely and carrying with them a whiff of moth deterrent. Meriel had told her parents what they had planned but both had declined to appear. Lucy was there, but Teifion was working at the Ship.

  Conversation was difficult at first, but Martha and Lucy were soon discussing the music of Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey and the songs of Hoagy Carmichael, amid disapproving glances from her father. Having to avoid the subjects of music and books and the wireless and the cinema, Meriel struggled to find a basis for discussion and time stood still, the conversation dragging ‘like wading through deep water wearing a long serge sk
irt’, she remarked to Kitty and Bob later.

  The only time there was any animation in the sad couple was when they talked about the work they did for their church. Although Meriel was impressed with the industry as they told her of the fund raising and sick visiting and voluntary help they provided, it was a monologue rather than a conversation.

  She and Lucy were honest in their admiration for the way they spent their lives in the service of others but after a while found even that was hard, running out of new ways of describing their genuine admiration. Everyone was relieved when it was time for them to leave. Lucy and Meriel both offered to drive them home but they insisted on catching the bus.

  ‘They never stop punishing themselves, do they?’ Lucy remarked as they waved them goodbye and went back to start on the dishes.

  *

  George drove from the hotel where he was staying to the shabby house where Meriel had first met Frieda. He knew his wife was there and he was prepared for another row as he made a final attempt to persuade her to come back home.

  She opened the door and at once the face of the man for whom she had repeatedly left him, appeared over her shoulder.

  ‘Don’t come in if you intend starting another row,’ she said and the man’s arm came around her shoulder.

  George lowered his head, relaxed his shoulders as though in defeat and said, ‘I just want to see if we can come to some arrangement, that’s all. If not, then I’ll go and you can start divorce proceedings as soon as you like.’ She opened the door wider and allowed him to enter.

  ‘If you’re sure you’ll be all right, I’ll go for a walk and leave you to talk,’ the man said.

  Frieda looked at George, who said, ‘I don’t hit women, if that’s what you mean!’

  When the door had screeched to a close behind the man, he sat near her on a filthy chair and said, ‘Cards on the table. We can’t go on like this and I think you at least owe me a full explanation. This isn’t just an affair, is it?’ He looked around the drab room and the ill-matched chairs, the stained walls. ‘For once in your life tell me the truth.’