The Heart of the Home

by The Heart of the Home (retail) (epub)

  ‘He was my first love, but he became ill and went away. We lost touch and I found out afterwards he thought he was going to die and didn’t want me involved. He lost his way for various reasons, mostly the lack of a job and no money. He turned to crime and ended up in prison. Three times he was sentenced to prison, each term longer than the last. He’d been about to give up, knowing he couldn’t cope with another and, well, we met again and I’ve been helping him. And before you ask, yes, we’re lovers. I never stopped loving him, you see.’

  ‘So our marriage is a joke?’

  ‘No, George, never that. But after we met again, I couldn’t leave him, not even for you.’

  ‘Now I know, will you come back and pretend? I’m beginning to realize that pride isn’t enough, but if it’s all I have then it’s better than nothing.’

  He was aware of a pain in his chest but managed to hide it. This was his last chance and he couldn’t risk losing her in spite of all she’d told him. No one else need know, not even Teifion, he told himself, at least people would believe that he, George Dexter, was able to keep his pretty young wife.

  ‘Give me my pride,’ he said, knowing he had to get out before he collapsed.

  ‘Give me a few days to get a decent place for him to live and I’ll come back,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you,’ he replied with more humility than he’d shown in his entire life. She put his breathlessness down to emotion. He drove himself straight to hospital and still breathless and in pain, stopped at the gates. Then he changed his mind and drove away. A few more days, just until Frieda came back, so people would know she was home again.

  He drove home and went to bed. That’s all he needed, a couple of quiet days. Then he would talk to Teifion, remind him of where his loyalties lay.

  *

  William and Ellie Roberts-Price came to Badgers Brook several times after that first difficult visit, bringing photographs of their son, Jacob. Meriel still found the visits difficult and was relieved when Leo managed to be there too.

  Then Martha came on her own. Less self-conscious without the presence of her father she explained how much she had enjoyed working on the record counter and talking to the young people who crowded around every Saturday to listen, buy and discuss the latest releases. ‘I was supposed to be the one with knowledge about the classical stuff but I prefer dance music,’ she explained. She lifted her legs and pointed to the heavy lace-up shoes she wore. ‘I hide these shoes which Father insists I wear and put on some really smart sandals, and dance to the rhythm like the rest.’

  ‘If you enjoyed it so much, why did you leave and get a job in a shoe shop?’ Meriel asked.

  ‘Father didn’t like me working there and when we moved he said it was too far from home. There were buses, but he wasn’t willing.’

  ‘How old are you?’ Lucy asked pointedly.

  ‘Obviously not old enough!’ was the reply.

  One evening in September, while Meriel and Leo took the parents for a walk through the wood and down to the remnants of Treweather’s farm with its chickens and a few sheep, Lucy and Martha discussed hair. ‘I think your hair would wave a little if you took some of the weight off it with a good cut,’ Lucy said.

  ‘I can’t! Father won’t allow it.’

  ‘How old are you, Martha?’ Lucy repeated the question with a sigh.

  ‘Nearly twenty.’

  ‘Can he forbid you to have your hair cut?’

  ‘He says while I’m under his roof—’

  ‘There’s the solution. Find another roof!’

  ‘I’d love to stay here with you and Meriel,’ she said wistfully.

  Lucy shook her head. ‘That would be changing one bolt hole for another. If you leave it has to be to make your own way. A room wouldn’t cost very much and you might find another girl to share with you. Nothing’s impossible and that’s a lesson I was late learning. I made the mistake of staying too long with my parents and if it hadn’t been for Meriel, I might still be there.’

  ‘My brother Noah is in the army and he told me that when he’s finished his time he won’t be coming back.’

  ‘What will he do?’

  ‘He’s clever with accounts, book-keeping and office management. He wanted to go to college and study accountancy, but Father refused, said it was not for people like us. Noah said he doesn’t care if he sweeps the roads, he isn’t coming home.’

  Lucy thought the saddest thing was that Martha’s father would be happier if his son swept roads than if he did something with prestige and a good salary.

  She dug out the hairdressing equipment she had rather foolishly bought and, with Martha behaving like a frightened mouse, styled her surprisingly thick and healthy hair; washing it and drying it and leaving it silky and clean. When Lucy held up a mirror and Martha saw herself with the sleek, shining glory where there had been a dull lacklustre curtain behind which she had hidden, she stared in silence for a long time.

  ‘Look at the lovely young woman you’ve been hiding,’ Lucy whispered. ‘You’ve come out of the shadows.’

  ‘Father will kill me! He won’t let me be seen until it’s grown back,’ she wailed fiddling with the ribbons with which her hair had previously been held.

  Lucy was alarmed. Had she really made difficulties for her? Persuading her to leave home, revealing herself as an attractive young woman, alienating her from the safe security of her family? Then Meriel came in with Mr and Mrs Roberts-Price and it was too late to change anything.

  ‘What have you done?’ the girl’s father demanded. Running forward, her mother hugged her and said, ‘Oh Martha. Look at you! Two beautiful daughters I produced. I can’t believe it. You look lovely.’ Ignoring the puffed out anger of her husband she turned to Lucy. ‘Thank you, you’re very clever.’

  ‘I didn’t have to do much, the beauty was always there.’

  They didn’t stay any longer; pulling on the coat he had discarded only a moment before, and ignoring the meal set out for them, William Roberts-Price indicated his desire to leave and in silence, Martha and her mother collected their things. Meriel and Lucy walked up to the end of the lane with them and waited for the bus. Although the women made brief comments in an attempt to lighten the mood, the atmosphere was awkward. It was a relief when the bus rumbled into view and they waved goodbye. Martha was the last to mount and she whispered a thank you to Lucy, adding, ‘I’m going to see if I can get my old job back. I’ll bury these awful shoes and I’ll start looking for a place to live. Can I write and let you know how I get on?’

  ‘Please do. I wish you luck,’ Lucy whispered back.

  When the bus had disappeared Lucy turned to her friend and wailed, her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. ‘Oh Meriel, what have I done?’

  ‘Made the poor girl see herself for the first time?’

  ‘I talked to her about her leaving home and she’s such an innocent she’ll get into terrible trouble and it’ll be my fault!’

  ‘If she’s my half-sister, then she’ll cope!’ Meriel replied. Then her eyes widened.

  ‘D’you know I keep forgetting she’s not a half-sister but a full one, both of her parents are mine too. And I have a full blood-brother called Noah. I wonder what they would have called me? D’you think names influence what you become? Would I have been the same if I’d been brought up by them and called Penitent?’

  ‘There’s no such name.’

  ‘You’d be surprised. Martha’s second name is Goodness. Noah’s was to be Servant of God but the vicar refused, according to Martha.’

  ‘Come on, Penitent, let’s have a cup of tea.’

  They were still up talking over the events of the evening when there was a knock at the door. Leo called out and came in.

  ‘I saw there was a light on. I wouldn’t have knocked otherwise,’ he said. ‘Come on then, how did it go?’

  ‘I’m ashamed to say that again I feel nothing but relief that they gave me to Mam and Dadda,’ Meriel said. ‘I’d have certainly been
a non-achiever if I’d been brought up in that inhibiting, unhappy atmosphere, where guilt is worn like a badge almost with pride. Does that make me a terrible person, d’you think?’

  ‘It makes me realize how important it is to consider your responsibilities when you have a child. How important it is for them to be free to make their own choices.’

  ‘You want children, Leo?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘I want a family very much. Doesn’t everyone?’ He spoke lightly but he was looking at Meriel.

  ‘I’ll go and make the cocoa, then,’ Lucy said with a chuckle. ‘Let you get the preliminaries done.’

  ‘What did she mean by that?’ Meriel said, looking at him and seeing love in his eyes reflecting her own.

  ‘I think she means this.’ Leo offered his hands and, lifting her from her chair, enfolded her in his arms and kissed her.

  Behind them Lucy stepped through the doorway and stepped back quickly, her face creased in a wide smile and her fingers firmly crossed. ‘Come on, Rascal,’ she whispered to the dog. ‘Tonight you’re going to have an extra walk. A long one I think.’

  *

  On the day Lucy had arranged to meet Gerald in Cardiff for lunch with his employers, Teifion watched as she set off with some apprehension in his heart. She was going in by bus, partly because Meriel might need the car and partly so he could meet her and drive her home. He marvelled at how much she had changed since first arriving at the new premises with Meriel. At first he automatically disliked her, she was a rival to his father and loyalty had then been strong, now he couldn’t imagine life without her.

  He fervently hoped she wouldn’t be beguiled by Gerald; he was clever, a natural flirt and attractive to the ladies, and, he knew how to impress. They had known each other for a long time, even been engaged for a while and although Gerald didn’t appear to be an ardent lover, there might still be a part of Lucy’s heart he was capable of reaching.

  He refilled the bar, cleaned the cellar and polished the copper pipes and all the time he was thinking about the lunch, visualizing Gerald at his most charming wondering if Lucy could be won over by Gerald’s flattery, or whether she was planning to have a little fun at his expense.

  Before he left, he went back in to make sure Betty and the part-time assistant had all they needed and when the phone rang he waved and began to leave. At the door he was called back to be told that his father was on his way to hospital suffering from a suspected heart attack.

  He knew the name of the restaurant where Lucy was meeting Gerald and telephoned to leave a message to tell Lucy about his father and explain that he wouldn’t be there to meet her as arranged. The young woman who took the message seemed vague about the name but promised to find her.

  *

  Outside the restaurant, a taxi pulled up and Lucy stepped out followed by Gerald and another couple. At the last moment the booking had been changed and they had eaten at an hotel.

  ‘He isn’t here yet,’ Lucy said, looking around the busy street.

  ‘I’ll wait with you, shall I?’ Gerald looked at his boss. ‘If that’s all right with you, sir?’

  ‘There’s no need, he’s sure to be here in a minute.’ She glanced at her watch. He was already late, but only by a few minutes. He was probably walking around as he waited for her to arrive. She insisted on Gerald leaving and managed to avoid his attempt at a kiss before he went off with Mr and Mrs Harris. She pretended not to see him turn and wave. Where was Teifion?

  What was it about her and Cardiff? Was she about to face another embarrassing wait and a self-conscious walk back to the bus stop? Half an hour later she went into a nearby café for coffee, half an hour after that she went home.

  She wasn’t angry as when Gerald had left her standing on the street. She was concerned. Something was wrong. An accident maybe? Alarmed, she rang the Ship but Betty wasn’t there. She tried the office but Meriel had heard nothing, but promised to try and find out. With a feeling of dread, she ran to the bus stop wishing she had used the car.

  Twelve

  As she rode home on the bus, Lucy wasn’t angry; she was worried. She began to imagine every kind of accident and disaster. She knew Teifion wouldn’t have let her down without a good reason. She got off the bus at the end of the lane and started walking towards Badgers Brook when she saw Meriel coming to meet her.

  ‘What’s happened? Why aren’t you in the office?’ she asked with dread.

  ‘It’s George Dexter, he’s had a heart attack and is in hospital.’

  Guilty relief flooded Lucy’s mind, grateful nothing had happened to Teifion. ‘So that’s why he didn’t meet me.’

  ‘Teifion left a message for you at the restaurant, where have you been?’

  ‘Plans were changed, we went to an hotel so the message didn’t reach me. I waited for more than an hour then came home. D’you think I should go there?’

  ‘I’m sure Teifion would be glad to see you. It sounds serious.’

  ‘I think I need a cup of tea first, then I’ll drive to the hospital and see if there’s anything I can do.’

  They walked back down the lane, where after several days of wind and rain, there were already signs of autumn, with leaves beginning to curl and wither, and grasses yellowing and drooping to allow their seeds to fall.

  ‘I love it here,’ Lucy said. ‘Every time I come home it’s a reminder of how lucky I am and how fortunate we are to live in that wonderful house.’

  ‘The legend is that no one stays longer than they need to sort out their problems. D’you think that’s right?’

  ‘If it is, then perhaps I’ll be moving out one day. I have the feeling that Teifion and I will marry – not that he’s asked me,’ she added, colouring with embarrassment. ‘I might be wrong. I just feel that even after all that’s happened, we belong together.’

  ‘Then you’d better get to the hospital fast, so he knows you support him, even with that unpleasant father of his!’

  Teifion was sitting in the corridor outside the ward and he ran to her and hugged her.

  ‘Thanks for coming, I’m sorry about our ruined afternoon. You got my message?’ he asked rhetorically, and was surprised when she shook her head.

  ‘I waited an hour then came home. Meriel met me at the bus stop and told me what happened.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. You must have been very angry.’

  ‘Angry? Of course not. I was afraid you’d been hurt or something. I knew you wouldn’t let me down without good reason.’

  ‘Reason. Now there’s a word that isn’t in Dad’s vocabulary!’ They sat together, hand in hand, while he told her all he knew about his father’s condition.

  ‘He won’t see me,’ he said. ‘I went in and asked whether Frieda has been told. He said no, that she’d gone back to her previous life, then told me to go.’

  ‘What was her – previous life?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘She worked in a dance hall and sang with the band. Apparently, the pianist was a man called Kit Keys, a made-up name of course, but it sounded good. They were more than friends – still are, I gather.’

  ‘This is the man she’s been seeing? In that shabby house? Why didn’t she marry him?’

  ‘He already had a wife and three children.’

  A nurse came out and told them that his father wanted to see him and with a frown, he nodded and followed the nurse back into the ward. Lucy stood at the door and watched as Teifion went to his father’s bedside. George was propped up on several pillows. He was obviously talking although she couldn’t hear what was being said, but she guessed from Teifion’s nervously shifting feet that it was nothing pleasant. Two minutes and he was back.

  ‘How is he?’ Lucy asked, touching his arm.

  ‘Breathless but telling me off for not manning the office instead of coming here.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘I reminded him I no longer worked there and he just glared at me. Illness doesn’t change anything, does it?’

  ‘Frieda ought to be told. D’you know where she is?’r />
  ‘I think I can find her, but should I?’

  ‘I can’t decide for you, but if it were me, I’d let her know.’

  The simplest thing was to go to the house where Frieda had been staying and, leaving Lucy at the hospital, he drove there following Meriel’s directions. Frieda carelessly tidied herself by putting on fresh make-up and combing her hair then followed him out to the car. On the way to the hospital Teifion explained that he was disobeying his father’s wishes. ‘Be prepared,’ he warned. ‘Your reception might not be warm.’

  ‘I can’t believe he wouldn’t want to see me at a time like this.’

  The nurse led her straight into the ward and Teifion sat beside Lucy with fingers prominently crossed. Only a minute passed before he gestured to the doors through which Frieda came, trying to wipe tears from her eyes.

  ‘He told me to go back to my piano player,’ she said.

  ‘Come back to the house,’ Lucy suggested. ‘None of us can do anything here.’

  Trying to take her mind off George’s abrupt dismissal, Lucy told her about Meriel’s success in finding her real parents.

  ‘Telling Meriel about her birth was such a cruel thing to do. What pleasure does he get from hurting people? I don’t understand.’ As Teifion began to speak she went on, ‘I know I deserve his treatment of me. I married him without loving him, still loving another man. I was flattered by his attention and he’s still an attractive man – and wealthy. I thought I’d make it a success. I really intended to do everything I could to make him happy.’

  ‘And in the process made yourself very miserable,’ Teifion said. ‘He’s my father, so I automatically disliked you, took his side when he complained about the trivial things he thought of as personal attacks, but I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that you deserved better.’