Catching Caroline (Silver Falls Book 1)

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  A silent tear streaked down my face and he slowly reached up, wiping it from my cheek.

  “I’ll remember,” I said softly.

  “And remember that even though the world might not see me this way, I’m simply Adam, a boy from Silver Falls who fell in love with the most perfect girl.”

  I could barely see him now as the tears filled my eyes. I blinked and they spilled over as I reached for him, resting my hand on the roughness of his cheek.

  “And remember that I love you, Adam from Silver Falls,” I said softly and he smiled before pressing his lips to mine as he pulled me close.

  The world seemed to disappear then as his lips moved hungrily over mine. I wasn’t thinking about anything other than him. I wasn’t thinking about how our weekend in Boston had changed us. I wasn’t thinking about the comments or what the world thought of me and Adam. I was only thinking of the fact that he loved me.

  We started falling to the ground, my back meeting the softness of the grass on the edge of the stream as I felt the weight of Adam on top of me. It didn’t matter that we were out in the open. We were alone in this special place, just Adam and I as the rest of the world still slept. There were no words as he stripped me of my clothes before I did the same to him, just an understanding that we needed this. We needed to be together one more time before he returned to Boston and the life that we’d known this summer came to an end.

  He didn’t look away as he eased inside of me. He kissed me deeply as our hips began to move together, easily becoming lost in each other. It was exactly what we both needed. We needed this moment where only we existed. We were simply Adam and Caroline and nothing else mattered because in a few hours it would all be gone. In a few hours, he’d be gone and even though neither of us wanted to admit it, we didn’t know what that meant for us. But this moment was perfect because in this moment it was just us and no matter what the future held, he loved me.

  Thirty-Three

  I walked nervously into the barn. I’d been grateful when Sawyer had still been asleep when Adam and I made our way back from Silver Falls. Rather than drag it out, we’d decided to say goodbye once we got back to the house. He could beat the traffic back into Boston and get settled before his meeting with the trainer in the afternoon. We both knew we could’ve had another hour or two together, but after our moment at Silver Falls, we both knew prolonging the goodbye would’ve been even more painful.

  It’d been hard watching his truck drive away. It’d become a staple at the house over the course of the summer and as his taillights faded in the distance, I felt a lump in my throat knowing the summer was over. I’d taken a deep breath and gone upstairs to take a shower before coming back outside to join my brother in the barn.

  I could hear him leading the cows in and he didn’t notice me at first as I hung back. He finally looked up and saw me though. We hadn’t spoken since the awkward goodbye before Adam and I left for Boston. I wondered what he knew or if he knew anything at all.

  “Morning,” he said, looking at me and then turning back to the cow he was tending.

  “Hey,” I said softly, walking over to him.

  “How was Boston?” he asked, still concentrating on the cow.

  “Fine,” I answered, causing him to look up. I could see the doubt on his face.

  “Fine? Just fine?” he asked. “I noticed Adam’s truck outside all night.”

  “Yes, it was fine,” I said, ignoring the truck comment and starting to work myself. “He took me to a game and dinner at the Prudential Building. He even introduced me to a bunch of players,” I teased, trying not to think about Adam driving down the highway, each tick of the odometer taking him farther away from me. “I know if you ever want to go to a game, Adam could introduce you too.”

  “I’m good, Care,” he said dismissively and we worked quietly for a few minutes until I started talking again.

  “Adam got some good news,” I began and I could tell Sawyer was curious. He might be mad at his best friend right now, but I knew deep down he cared about Adam. “He got cleared to play again. He’s going to start training.”

  “When?” Sawyer asked.

  “He’s got a meeting with one of the team trainers this afternoon,” I told him and I could see the puzzled look on my brother’s face.

  “He’s gone then?” he asked and I nodded.

  “Yeah. Left an hour ago,” I told him and it grew quiet for a few moments while we worked.

  “How’re you doing, Care?” he finally asked me.

  “Okay,” I answered, doing my best to sound believable. I’d never been able to fool my brother though.

  “No, you’re not,” he said and I didn’t try and refute him.

  “Maybe I’m not, but what can I do about it?” I said, trying to speak past the growing lump in my throat.

  “You’re very good at trying to be brave, Caroline,” Sawyer said with a quiet laugh.

  “Now you’re just lying,” I said, trying to laugh too. “I suck at it.”

  This made him laugh and for a moment, it felt like things weren’t weird between Sawyer and me.

  “When’re you gonna see Adam again?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “We’ll have to see how everything goes with his training. I’m sure he’s going to be pretty busy now.”

  He was quiet for a few seconds before looking over to me.

  “I know you might not believe me, but I’m sorry,” he said.

  “I do believe you, Sawyer,” I told him and I did. While things weren’t great with Adam and my brother, I knew he loved me. I also knew he cared about Adam still.

  “So, what’s it like there in Boston? I mean with Adam and his place and stuff?” Sawyer asked and I didn’t answer right away. I didn’t exactly want to tell Sawyer what was going on. Part of me wanted to keep it to myself. If I did that, I could fool myself into pretending nothing was happening.

  “He’s got a nice place,” I began. “He could use a little help with the decorating though.” I laughed quietly and Sawyer grinned over at me.

  “I take it you plan to help him with that?” he asked.

  “I don’t know what I plan to do,” I answered and he looked at me curiously as my voice dipped. I hadn’t intended for my answer to be anything more than an answer, but I knew it was and by the way Sawyer was looking at me, so did he.

  “Hey,” he said, standing up and dusting off his hands. “Are you okay, Care?” he asked me. I thought about saying yes. I could tell him I was fine, but I knew I wasn’t fine, not when I really thought about the weekend in Boston and not when I thought about our relationship now that Adam and I were public.

  “I don’t know, Sawyer,” I said softly.

  He looked at me again. This time not with curiosity, but with concern.

  “What’s goin’ on, Care?”

  Rather than try and tell him, I reached into my pocket for my phone, taking it out slowly and holding it out to him. He looked at it curiously, but then took it.

  “Just go to Facebook,” I told him and he did as I asked.

  “You’ve got like ninety notifications,” he said.

  “Just click on them,” I said. I watched as his finger tapped the screen and then he stared down, his eyes moving quickly as he read. He started scrolling down and his eyes stayed focused on the screen. It seemed to last forever, but then he finally looked away from the phone and at me, his jaw clenching the way it had the day he learned about me and Adam. The same way it did whenever he was angry.

  “When did this start?” he finally asked me.

  “I’m not sure exactly when. Either the night he took me to that club or the next morning. I don’t really know.” My voice was quiet, but I was trying to sound strong. I didn’t want Sawyer to worry about me.

  “Shit, Care,” he said, running an anxious hand through his hair. “Are you ready for this?”

  “I don’t know, Sawyer,” I said quietly as my throat began to burn as I sh
ook my head. “I don’t know.”

  “What’s Adam say about it?”

  “He’s upset,” I started and then paused before continuing. “He’s worried about me. I think he feels guilty about what this means, for me mostly. He’s used to it,” I said. “I’m not used to it though. I don’t know if I could ever get used to it.”

  “I don’t think I could either,” he said, handing me the phone back.

  “I haven’t even looked at my accounts since this morning. The comments just keep coming. I think I should just deactivate them,” I sighed and then looked at my brother. “Adam warned me about this. He told me something like this could happen. I guess I didn’t really understand what that meant or that anyone would be that interested in me.” I tried laughing, but it didn’t come. Sawyer didn’t crack a smile either.

  “I’m sorry, Care,” he said quietly. “What are you gonna do?”

  “I haven’t really figured that out yet. It’s still sinking in…that I’m not just Caroline Hale from Silver Falls anymore.”

  “No, apparently you’re not,” he said and then his face softened.

  “It’s so weird, ya know, that people who don’t even know me have so much to say about me.” I could feel myself choking up as I thought about the hurtful comments that put a knot in my stomach every time they crept into my mind.

  “Not everything was bad though. I’d say there was more good than bad actually,” he said. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better.

  “I know that. It’s just easier to remember the hurtful ones,” I said, wiping at my eyes again and then I looked up at my brother. “We’re so different…Adam and I,” I began. “I guess I didn’t see it while he was here, but now I do. He says we’re not, but I think we are,” I said. “And that scares the hell outta me.”

  Sawyer walked over and pulled me in for a hug. I was grateful he was here. Adam was gone and my mind was a mess of emotions. I needed to talk to someone and even though things had been strained with Sawyer lately, he was exactly the person I needed right now.

  “I can’t pretend to know what you’re dealing with, Care,” he said when he pulled back, “but you’re gonna be okay. Just give it some time.”

  He was trying to be encouraging, but I could see the worry in his eyes.

  “Yeah,” I said softly. “I just need some time.”

  He looked at me again and I knew he was at a loss as to what to say to me.

  “I know we didn’t leave on great terms when you went to Boston, but if you need anything, I’m here,” he said.

  “I know. Thank you,” I said and then turned to get back to work. I could hear him getting back to what he’d been doing before I’d opened the floodgates and I turned back around so I was facing him. “Sawyer?” I asked and he looked towards me again.

  “Yeah, Caroline?”

  “Adam’s a good man. He loves me,” I began. “And he loves you too.”

  Our eyes locked and Sawyer didn’t say anything. His mouth stayed in a straight line as he stared at me for a few more seconds before looking away. He might not want to hear it, but I had to say it. He had to remember it because long before Adam and me there had been Adam and Sawyer and I hated that I’d come between that.

  Thirty-Four

  “Excuse me, miss? Can I get your autograph?”

  I turned around quickly to see Erica standing behind me, her arms folded and a grin on her face.

  “What?” I asked, brushing by her to start clearing a table. She followed me and helped gather some plates.

  “You’re practically famous, Caroline,” she said as we both walked our handful of dishes to the kitchen. I put them in the sink and then shook my head.

  “Please don’t go there, Erica. Not now,” I said softly as I thought about Adam in Boston and me in Silver Falls. He’d only been gone a few days. We hadn’t spoken much. Ever since he’d met with the trainer that first day back, he’d spent most of his days at the gym and rehabbing his arm. He was tired when he was done for the day and we’d FaceTime for a little while, chatting about nothing really. I was content simply seeing his face, but in a way, seeing him made the distance harder. It made me miss him that much more.

  “I know this whole being thrust into the spotlight thing hasn’t been easy on you,” Erica started, but I cut her off.

  “And how would you know that, my dear cousin?” After hearing the words leave my mouth, I wondered if the sarcasm was too thick.

  “C’mon,” she sighed. “You know I don’t really know, but I’m trying to understand and I’m trying to be sympathetic. I’m also trying to help you embrace this new status of yours.”

  I knew Erica didn’t mean any harm by her silly jabs, but she didn’t understand what I was going through. She didn’t know I’d only looked at my social media accounts once since the first day it all began. She didn’t know I was trying to pretend nothing had changed and that the comments made about me hadn’t affected me. I was trying to live my life as if my boyfriend wasn’t a famous athlete and our every move wasn’t open for scrutiny.

  “I know you’re only trying to help me, Erica. I know that and I’m sorry if I’ve been short with you.”

  We hadn’t had much time to talk since that day in the restaurant when Adam and I returned from Boston. She’d texted me to see how I was and we chatted a little as we went about the one shift we’d shared at the restaurant since then, but I doubted Erica really knew how I was feeling.

  “I know this has been a crazy week with everything,” she said quietly.

  “Yeah, it has been.”

  “How’s Adam doing back in Boston?” she asked.

  “He’s busy. He’s training a lot and going to physical therapy. He’s just trying to get ready for next season.”

  “And how are you doing with it all?” she asked and I hesitated.

  “I don’t know. Truthfully, I’m trying not to think about it,” I admitted.

  “And how’s that working for you?”

  “I’ve learned that it’s true when they say ignorance is bliss,” I said with a quiet laugh. “It’s the only way I can get through this.”

  She was quiet and looked at me with hesitation.

  “So, you haven’t been checking Facebook or anything?”

  “No. I’ve thought about deactivating my accounts actually. It’s the only way I think I’ll be able to keep my sanity.” I smiled at Erica more as a way of telling myself I was doing the right thing by ignoring it all.

  “So, you didn’t see the article from the Boston Globe?” she asked cautiously.

  “What article?” I asked, the all too familiar pit rising in my stomach again.

  “The one I read during my break.”

  “No, Erica. I haven’t looked at anything for a while. Do I want to see it?” I asked nervously.

  “I don’t think it’s bad and it’s why I thought asking you for an autograph might be funny. I mean, Facebook posts are one thing, but you made it to the Globe, Caroline.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh too. The whole situation was becoming increasingly crazy. “Here,” she said, reaching for her phone and after fiddling with it for a second, she handed it to me.

  My eyes focused on the picture of Adam and me the night at the club. It had only been the previous weekend, but it seemed like a lifetime ago. I noticed the article was listed in the entertainment section and I couldn’t help but find it strange that I would be entertaining to anyone.

  The article was written by someone named Gloria Rhodes, but then I remembered what Adam had said about reporters, that they’re all connected somehow and I wondered if this Gloria knew Rick Stone since I started recognizing bits of the conversation we’d had with him when we tried to leave the club as my eyes started scanning over the article. It mentioned the Red Sox official press release that Adam was cleared to start training again and briefly mentioned his stats from the last year he’d played. But then, the article switched to his personal life, mentioning that Adam was spotte
d at his favorite Boston nightclub. Then a line caught my eye and I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.

  While DeLain has often been seen frequenting Venu since his arrival in Boston as a rookie, the woman with him over the weekend was new to the scene and seemingly overwhelmed by the trendy nightclub. The woman is 21-year-old Caroline Hale, a childhood friend from Silver Falls, Vermont. It has been confirmed DeLain is in an exclusive relationship with the unassuming girl from his hometown.

  My eyes honed in on one adjective: unassuming. I couldn’t stop staring at it. I didn’t realize one word could be so powerful, and yet it was. I didn’t mind being described as unassuming because I was unassuming, but not because unassuming was bad, but because that was just who I was. I wasn’t a complicated woman, I didn’t think so anyways, and yet the connotation of the word in the article made unassuming sound almost like a dirty word. To Rick Stone and now the readers of Gloria Rhodes’ column, I was unassuming and simple and I could only interpret that as I was different than Adam. I was different than everything in Boston and this article reaffirmed my fears. Adam had spent the summer showing me we weren’t that different when the fact was, we were completely different.

  “You look like you’re about to cry,” Erica’s voice said, interrupting my thoughts.

  “I’m fine,” I said softly, but she didn’t let up.

  “What is it, Care?” she asked and I took in a deep breath.

  “I said I was fine,” I said curtly, placing the phone a little too forcefully back into her hand and brushing quickly by her as I made my way back to the tables I’d been neglecting for too long.

  “Caroline,” Erica said quietly, coming up quickly behind me and grabbing my arm so I turned to face her. “I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetie. I just thought it was wild to see you the subject of a gossip column. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” I could see in her eyes that hadn’t been her intention, but the truth was, I did feel that way.