Catching Caroline (Silver Falls Book 1)

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “I know you didn’t,” I said softly. “And I’m not mad at you,” I continued. “That article just made me think.”

  “Why’d it upset you so much?” she asked and I hesitated, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered, wiping at my eyes. I couldn’t tell her. I didn’t want to tell her. My insecurities needed to be my secret. “I…I need to get back to work though. Gram’s going to be pissed and I need to finish up and get home to see my parents. Sawyer just picked them up this morning.”

  Erica didn’t say anything, but our eyes locked for a moment. She knew there was something I was keeping from her, but she knew I wouldn’t tell her. I usually told my cousin everything. I always had, the way sisters tell each other everything. But I didn’t want to say anything about how the article had made me feel, because I didn’t even want to admit it to myself.

  ~~~

  I finished my shift without any more talk about Adam or the article. Erica seemed to be walking on eggshells around me. I hated seeming like a bitch, but I’d tried ignoring the situation and it obviously hadn’t helped any because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hide from any of it.

  I was nearly home when my phone rang. I glanced at it quickly, seeing it was Adam. I felt a smile form on my face and I answered, hearing his voice come through the speakers of the car.

  “Hey, babe.” Hearing his voice instantly put me at ease and I enjoyed the split second of peace I felt.

  “Adam,” I sighed. It felt good just to say his name. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

  “It’s good to hear yours.” I could tell by his tone that he was smiling.

  “How was your day?” I asked him, anxious to talk about him and not worry about everything else.

  “Not bad. Just did physical therapy and hit the gym.”

  “Your arm’s doing well then?” I asked.

  “Seems to be. Obviously, it hasn’t been that long, but my therapist and the trainer seem hopeful I’ll be ready to go for Spring Training.”

  “That’s good, Adam. So good,” I said softly and I wasn’t quite sure why the sudden somberness washed over me.

  “What’s the matter, Care?” he asked immediately. I couldn’t hide anything from him anymore. He could hear it in my voice. He always knew when something was wrong. I didn’t answer him right away. I didn’t really know what I wanted to say to him anyway. “Caroline, are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m here. I’m sorry,” I answered.

  “You sound upset,” he said.

  “I don’t know what I am, Adam,” I answered honestly.

  “What’s going on?” I could hear the worry in his voice. I didn’t want to play games. I didn’t want to be any more dramatic than I already was and I decided to simply ask him about the article.

  “Um…did you read the article in the Globe about you? Erica saw it online today.”

  “No. I haven’t read it.” His voice dipped lower because he must’ve known where the conversation was headed. “What’d it say?” he asked. For a second I could feel the frustration brewing and I got the urge to tell him to read the article and call me back. Part of me was upset he didn’t know about it, which only went to show me the media no longer affected him or those he surrounded himself with. It wasn’t his concern anymore, but I’d only been going through this a week. Everything was personal and everything hurt.

  “It mostly talked about you, but then…then they mentioned me too. There was a picture of us at the club. I think it was the Rick guy we spoke to,” I said softly into the phone.

  “And what’d it say about you?” he asked.

  “That I was unassuming and overwhelmed.”

  I heard Adam sigh and he was quiet for a moment.

  “I’m sorry, Caroline,” he said softly. “I know it’s easy for me to tell you not to worry about it, but please don’t get too upset about this.”

  “I’m not upset, Adam,” I said and then sighed. “I don’t really know what I am actually.”

  The line was silent for a few long moments as I made the turn off the highway towards my house.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said. I knew it was the only thing he could say. He couldn’t tell me not to worry about it because he knew I would and he couldn’t tell me it would be okay because he knew I didn’t think it would be.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I said softly.

  “I’m the reason this is happening to you.” His voice faded off and I sighed again.

  “I’m sorry I even brought up the article.”

  “Don’t apologize. Whenever you need me, I’m here.”

  I felt a lump forming in my throat as I pulled the car in front of the house and put it in park.

  “I know you are,” I said, closing my eyes and trying to imagine him with me. “I wish you were here,” I said after a moment.

  “Me too,” he said softly and it grew quiet for a few seconds. “We’ll see each other soon though. Maybe I can come this weekend or maybe you can come here. We’ll work something out.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Adam. You just got back to Boston. You don’t need to come back here already,” I told him and I heard him laugh.

  “Did you ever think maybe I want to come back? That I miss you as much as you miss me?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at his words all the while picturing his face in my mind.

  “No, I didn’t think that,” I told him and he laughed again.

  “Well, get used to it, Caroline Hale, because I love you,” he said.

  “I love you too, Adam,” I said, feeling myself getting choked up, but then my eyes focused on the house. “I should get going though. I just pulled up to the house and Sawyer’s back from picking up my parents at the airport.”

  “Tell them I said hi, will you?”

  “I’ll tell them,” I replied. “I love you, Adam.”

  “I love you too,” he said and it grew quiet again for a few seconds.

  “Bye,” I whispered. He did the same and then the line was silent. I stared down at my phone for a few moments, wondering how long this would go on? How long until I didn’t listen to the comments or care what anyone had to say about me? Part of me thought I never could.

  I sighed and took a deep breath, putting on my best smile as I stepped out of the car and made my way into the house. I was used to it being quiet when I walked in, but I was instantly greeted with busy chatter and a pile of luggage.

  “Caroline! Is that you?” my mom was calling out from the kitchen.

  “Yes!” I called back. She poked her head out before I could get to the kitchen and a smile spread on her face. She rushed to me, enveloping me in her arms.

  “Oh, honey,” she said, squeezing me tightly. “I have missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Mom,” I said, doing my best to make sure my voice sounded strong.

  “It’s so good to be home,” she said, pulling back and holding me at arm’s length.

  “I’m glad you’re back. The house was quiet by myself.”

  “Well, it won’t be anymore,” she said, leading me into the kitchen where my dad and brother were. My dad looked different. He looked more relaxed than I’d ever seen him. I knew this vacation had been good for him. He worked too hard and he’d needed the break.

  “Hey, Dad!” I said cheerfully. He smiled and got up, giving me a big hug. “You look great. That perpetually stressed out look is gone from your face,” I told him and he started laughing.

  “As much as I hate to admit it, your mother was right. Getting away for so long was good for me.”

  “And despite your concerns, we didn’t burn the place down,” I said sarcastically, glancing over to Sawyer who was smirking at my comment.

  “Again, as much as I hate to admit it, you kids did a great job running the farm. I wish I could’ve thanked Adam in person for his help, but Sawyer tells me he was cleared to get back to training to pre
pare for next season.”

  “Yeah, he was,” I said and even though I’d tried to mask it, I could hear the dip in my voice. I don’t think my parents noticed, but I could tell Sawyer did.

  “Really though, I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised at how well you all did,” my dad continued.

  “It was all Sawyer, Dad,” I said, looking over to my brother. It bothered me that my dad didn’t seem to realize just how valuable my brother was to this farm sometimes. “You might actually want to think about retiring someday.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he said, looking over to Sawyer and I couldn’t tell how to read my brother.

  “Are you guys tired?” I asked.

  “A little,” my mom answered. “It’ll be a challenge to get used to the time change.”

  “I know it’s only four o’clock, but should we just plan to order pizza for dinner?” I suggested and I could tell by the looks on their faces they were on board with it. “I’ll go into town and pick it up in a little while then,” I offered.

  “Thank you, sweetie,” my mom said, reaching over and squeezing my hand.

  “No problem,” I said as my dad stood up.

  “Should we go unpack then?” my dad asked my mom and she nodded.

  “And then take a nap,” she said as she fought off a yawn.

  “Need some help getting the luggage upstairs?” Sawyer asked.

  “We’ve got it, but thanks,” my dad said and then they walked out of the kitchen leaving just Sawyer and me. I went and sat down at the table across from him.

  “It’s kinda weird having them home. I got used to them being gone,” I said and he nodded.

  “Me too,” he said.

  “Dad seemed pretty impressed with how you ran the farm while he was gone,” I said and he nodded.

  “He still thinks I’m a kid though.”

  “Don’t let it get to you. Maybe he’s just having a hard time accepting we’re growing up, which means he’s getting older.”

  “I just wonder if he’ll ever look at me as an equal.”

  “Of course he will. You’re his mini-me. He’s groomed you for this. He loves you, Sawyer.”

  “I know he does,” my brother said, his voice trailing off until it was quiet for a few moments.

  “How’re you doing, Care? Since Adam left?” he asked, changing the subject.

  “I’m not going to lie and say I’m fine, but I’m handling it,” I told him and he looked at me doubtfully.

  “And what about everything else?” he asked and we both knew he was talking about the spotlight I’d suddenly been thrust into.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I tell myself not to think about it, but it’s impossible. Erica showed me an article in the Boston Globe about Adam and his unassuming girlfriend,” I said, forming the word in quotes with my finger.

  “The Globe. Wow. You’re really movin’ up, Care,” Sawyer said with a laugh. “They really called you unassuming?”

  “Oh yeah,” I laughed, trying to join in his light-hearted mood. “I guess compared to the supermodels he used to date, that would be an accurate adjective to use for me.”

  “C’mon. Don’t be so dramatic. He didn’t date supermodels,” Sawyer said, rolling his eyes.

  “Compared to me they might as well be.”

  “Stop selling yourself short. You’re way better than those girls. I’m glad to see Adam’s finally interested in someone with some substance for once.”

  “So, you’re happy about Adam and I then?” I asked cautiously and I could see his brow crease for a second as he thought.

  “You may think I’m a total dick, but I really just want both of you to be happy. It’s just been weird realizing you need each other to accomplish that.”

  I looked across the table and smiled at my brother in thanks. It was one of the few supportive things he’d said about Adam and I and I took it as a good sign.

  “What about you and Adam? Have you talked anymore?” I asked, my smile fading.

  “Not really. A few texts here and there, but that’s it.”

  “I wish you two would try and make up. I shouldn’t come between you.”

  “You know it’s not just you, Caroline.”

  “Sawyer,” I sighed. “He’s your best friend. You’ve got to talk to him. You know if I wasn’t in the picture you wouldn’t be ignoring him.”

  “I’m not ignoring him,” he said defensively.

  “A few texts does not count as communication.”

  “You seem to forget that once Adam left Silver Falls we never talked much anyways,” he said, his voice dipping and I knew he was thinking about the past.

  “That changed though. This summer changed everything. Don’t let me be the reason you lose your best friend,” I said as I looked into his eyes from across the table. I waited to see what he’d say, but I wasn’t surprised with his response.

  “We should probably get that pizza ordered,” he eventually said and I knew he was only trying to avoid the subject.

  “You plan on ignoring me too?” I asked him with a smirk.

  “Give it a rest, Caroline,” he said and I could only respond by shrugging my shoulders.

  “Fine. I’ll head into town to pick up the pizza,” I told him. I knew any discussion about Adam wasn’t going to happen now. “By the time I get back, it’ll be time to eat.”

  “Want some company?” he asked.

  “No, I’m good,” I said since I’d rather just be alone at the moment.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Totally sure. Pepperoni and jalapeno for you, right?” I asked him and he nodded. “See you in a bit,” I told him and then I walked back into the living room, grabbed my purse and headed out to my car.

  I called in the order before I headed towards the highway so it’d be ready when I got there. Aside from my family’s place, it was the only other sit-down restaurant in town and it was always busy. I saw tonight was no exception as I walked inside and to the counter. I told the girl my name and it was probably just my imagination, but I thought she looked at me strangely when she heard my name. It was my craziness telling me she recognized me from the pictures with Adam on the internet. I knew I was probably being ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself. I was nothing but a hot mess lately.

  I paid for the pizzas and a moment later, she was handing them to me across the counter. I thanked her and turned to leave, but nearly crashed into someone as I did so.

  “I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed apologetically before I even looked at the stranger.

  “No worries. It was my fault.”

  I felt my body stiffen when I heard the voice. I’d recognize it anywhere. I looked up from where I’d been steadying the pizzas and found myself staring right into the eyes of Caleb. He looked just as shocked to see me and we didn’t say anything for a few seconds.

  “Caleb,” I finally said in a quiet voice.

  “Hi, Caroline,” he said, looking timid and unsure.

  “I…I didn’t know you were back. I…I thought you weren’t coming home until September.”

  “That was the plan, but plans don’t always work out,” he said and I wondered what more there was to his story.

  “When’d you get home?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t my business.

  “Just a couple of days ago. I…I thought about calling you…about coming by to see you, but…” he said as his voice faded. We both knew what that but was. He couldn’t bring himself to say it though and I didn’t want to hear it again anyway. He looked down for a moment, stuffing his hands in his pockets and then looked back up at me, a softness coming over his face that was different than the last time we’d spoken. “How are you, Caroline?” he finally asked in the kind voice I remembered from the five years we’d spent together, not the distance-filled voice from when he’d broken my heart.

  “I’m…I’m good,” I said, smiling and trying to sound cheerful. I didn’t want him to know how I’d been feeling sin
ce Adam and I had gone public. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” he said, smiling too, but something told me he was lying just as I was.

  It grew quiet for a few awkward seconds and then he started looking around.

  “Adam’s not with you?” he asked curiously and I cringed realizing how far news of our relationship had traveled.

  “You heard about Adam and me?” I asked.

  “Of course I did, Caroline,” he said with a nervous laugh. “He’s Silver Falls’ golden boy. Everyone knows about you two.” I didn’t know what to say, so instead I just nodded. “He’s not here then?”

  “No. He’s back in Boston. He got cleared to play again.”

  “Yeah, I heard that. I just thought he might be here with you though,” he said and I shook my head.

  “No. He’s got to start training right away if he wants to be ready for next season.”

  “That’s gotta be rough for you two,” he said and I looked at him, not saying anything for a few seconds.

  “We’re making it work,” I said, trying to sound confident. He nodded, but didn’t say anything and the silence settled in to the point I was uncomfortable. “I…I should get going,” I finally stammered, needing to get away from this man who’d hurt me so badly. “It was good to see you, Caleb.”

  “You too, Caroline,” he said, our eyes locking for another moment before I brushed past him and walked outside.

  If my mind wasn’t already a mess, it was now a total disaster.

  Thirty-Five

  I’d been sitting next to my mom for the past half hour the next day watching her flip through the pictures she’d downloaded onto her computer. She’d explained each one and I knew she and my father had had an amazing time. They were beaming in all the pictures.

  “Caroline, are you okay? You’ve seemed a little distracted ever since we got home,” she said in the middle of a sequence of pictures from the Jurassic Coast in England. I thought I’d been responding to her pictures with enough enthusiasm that she wouldn’t pick up on the fact my mind was all over the place, jumping from Adam and the run in with Caleb and settling on the newest comments I’d read about Adam and I online. Obviously, I wasn’t doing a very good job though.