Resist (London)

by Breeze, Danielle

  Harper

  I was so confused, and with having Mason constantly in my face, always around, breathing down my neck, if he wasn’t actually there, he was texting and calling. I wasn’t getting the time and space I needed to sort my head out.

  He actually consumed me. Thoughts, feelings, dreams, mind, body. The air surrounding him was constantly charged with an undercurrent of, well, something. Something like, he knew things that everyone else didn’t, authoritative, not in an ‘I’m-better-than-you’ way, just, like he held possession of his world in his hands. Controlling.

  He still maintained that we were friends, but the longer he was around, the more he was crowding me. ‘Innocent’ touches, holding my hand from one place to another (I did fight him on this, but eventually I learnt that it was just easier to give in), casually brushing my hair over my shoulder. I think he thought it was a game. It wasn’t though, he was toying with my emotions.

  I didn’t want to like the attention he was giving me, I really didn’t. I should want him to back off a bit, or all together, just let me go back to pre-Mason days. Days when I could come and go as I pleased, not have to worry about getting dressed at all if I didn’t feel like it, days when I could just be by myself!

  But a small part of me, a part that I was trying my damned hardest to ignore, was coming alive…thriving even, craving more and more attention from him, and only him. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. How could I despise and crave his actions so much, at the same time? How could I want him around me permanently, yet need my own space more than I needed to breathe?

  It was so fucked up.

  I sighed when I heard the front door open but didn’t even bother turning my head, I knew who it would be.

  “What are you doing here again Mase, you just left here this morning.” I asked, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice.

  “Hey Sunshine. Told you once already today, I’m here because I want to be. Suck it up beautiful, and get used to it!”

  “I see you more than I see Jase and I bloody live with him!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t figure it out, that wasn’t friendship, it was fucking borderline stalking.

  “I need some space Mason, you’re driving me crazy!” I added, voice rising. He just stared at me, looking blank.

  “Seriously! How can you not understand this? You’re everywhere. It’s pissing me off, I just want time to be by myself, spend time with my friends, not have to find out where you are and what you’re doing to know if I can do whatever I want to do! Honestly? How do you even get away with being like this? I’m losing my fucking mind here!”

  Okay, so I may have over exaggerated slightly, but he needed telling!

  He frowned, as if he didn’t realise he’d been seriously crowding me, open his mouth, closed it again, then sighed, looking almost resigned.

  “Ok, here’s the deal. I know exactly what I’ve been doing, but I don’t care about being your friend, I’ll still take it, rather than nothing. But I want to be with you. You already know that and you’re just pretending like you don’t so you can keep me around. But I’m getting bored with this shit. You strut around here half naked most the fuckin’ time in your tiny shorts and your low-cut tops. It’s killing me too ya know! Don’t act like you’re shocked because you’re not. I’ve already had you once, and mark my words beautiful girl, it’ll happen again. You can be damn sure of that.”

  “I, you, what?” I stuttered.

  I was pretty sure I’d already made myself clear that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything with him, he was hot, he was nice, he had money, but he could have been Mr fucking Perfect and it wouldn’t have mattered. I had my rules, and relationships we’re not allowed. I saw my chance and I took it.

  “This is why I didn’t want to be your friend in the first place Mason! I’m...not...interested...in you. You’re wasting your time. I think you’re a great guy, you’re just not for me.”

  You big fat liar Harper-Marie!

  “Stop fuckin’ kidding you yourself. What’s stopping you, hey? We had sex this morning! You weren’t arguing then!”

  I blew out a frustrated breath and stared him down, I didn’t want him thinking he owned me too. No one did. Demanding answers from me really wasn’t the best way to proceed, but it would all be so much easier if he wasn’t so damn gorgeous. I could just tell him to do one, fuck off, get out, whatever it was, just to make him leave. I knew I had to play it differently though, he wouldn’t leave without answers, so I thought I’d share a snippet, just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

  “Ok, well you’ve said yours, so here’s my deal Mase, I refuse to get into a relationship. Not any time soon at least, maybe not ever. I won’t have people telling me what to do, I won’t play by your rules, or anyone else’s for that matter. So you’re hot, and we had great sex a couple of times, it means nothing! I like you, you’re a decent guy, but you need to give this up. It...is...never...going... to...happen” I spoke slowly for the last few words hoping they’d sink in.

  They didn’t.

  Fuck.

  “Why? Why don’t you want to follow anyone else’s rules? Why are you dead set against any sort of relationship? In fact, why does anything have to be about rules at all? Huh?”

  “Fuck you Mase! I don’t have to tell you anything. That’s just the way it is. Stop pushing me, you’re getting on my nerves now.”

  “You know what Sunshine? I’ll let you have your play this time. Seems you need a break and I’ll give it you. But you don’t have to keep fighting me, I’m not asking you to marry me for fuck sake! You’re acting like I’m trying to tie you down and I’m not, I think you’re thinking way too much into this. You’re strung too tight, loosen your chains a little bit babe and you might find that you actually like what you’ve got. Right now, you’ve got nothing. Listen to me though, I’ll get you there. With me.”

  Then he just turned and was preparing to leave. Well, shit. I didn’t like the determination written all over his face. He was so annoying! I was pretty sure I wasn’t leading him on so I just didn’t see why he would even stick around to put up with my shit. Before he could step through the door, I spoke up.

  “You won’t, Mason. You can’t. It’s that simple. Here’s a little taster for you yeah? Those ‘chains’ that you talk about, they’re not holding me back, they’re there to remind me to keep living free. I was held back for sixteen years of my life when I lived at home, and that is never ever going to happen to me again. Never.”

  He paused at the door, but he didn’t turn when he asked, “What do you mean you were held back for sixteen years of your life?”

  I debated how much I could tell him but I didn’t see the harm in letting him in slightly. Maybe then he would realise how useless his little plan was. I thought he’d understand. I think, no, I know, I was wrong.

  “My parents Mason. They were not nice people. Oh, they were nice to everyone else, but not to me. I don’t know if I was some sort of project, or they just didn’t want me stepping out of line. They weren’t just strict, they were control freaks. I wasn’t allowed to breathe without their permission. Metaphorically speaking, do you have any idea what that’s like to live your life in chains? No. You don’t.”

  “So I got out. As soon as I could. It came to a head and I left. Never, not for the rest of my life, will I allow someone to tell me what I can and can’t do. That includes you. You cannot tell me that relationships don’t contain rules, compromises, little things that slowly change even though you’re not aware of them until it’s too late. Is it that hard for you to understand that I just don’t want those sorts of restrictions in my life?”

  “Yes.”

  His sudden interruption shocked me into silence. How could he possibly not understand what I wanted. It was so simple.

  “What...why...what?” I stuttered. Not comprehending at all why he was even arguing my point.

  “Harper, that’s pathetic. It’s childish. It’s just a stupid way to look at t
hings. So because your parents cared enough to give you those rules, control things in your life, put restrictions in place, you’ll never accept anything like that again? Ridiculous. And actually, you should be damn fucking grateful you had parents that bothered to protect you. I didn’t. Did you know that? No you fucking didn’t. Because you didn’t ask. You’re so wrapped up in your own childish bullshit that you don’t give a flying fuck about anyone else. Get off your high horse and think about others for a change. Right now I’m gonna leave because I can’t even bare to look at you and I think you should take some time to get your priorities in order. Mark my words though babe, I’m still not giving up on us. You just need to learn the definition of real life problems, because yours don’t even come close.”

  Then he left.

  He just walked out. That mother fucker didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. He thought because I’d given him just the tip of the iceberg, that he had the right to judge me?

  Well, fuck that.

  Mason

  People should never doubt me. My plans don’t fail. Ever.

  I strolled back down the stairs, swinging my keys around my finger. I knew she’d flip when I turned up at her place again. But that was just fine, because she had the illusion of the upper hand, but it really was that.

  Just an illusion.

  I was mad at her, don’t get me wrong. I hated that she could make such a big deal out of ‘strict parents’. She sounded like a spoilt brat. Defence mechanisms though I’d say. Making a big deal out of nothing because she was trying to keep herself safe.

  Time to step it up a notch. Phase two, my favourite phase, time to put the ball in her court.

  Let’s see what you’ve got then Sunshine.

  Chapter Nine

  Harper

  I needed a break, I needed to force him out of my system. I needed to get laid. It had been too long, months even of putting up with the same old bullshit with him and it was seriously starting to wear on me.

  So I got ready, little black dress, really little black dress, strapless, slightly slutty, exactly what I needed. I wore emerald green stilettos and added a matching clutch bag, and I was ready to go.

  I was on the pull. I needed a decent fuck, who was not Mason fucking Brent and I was going to get one. Seeing as it was a last minute idea, Taylor couldn’t come, I figured she was probably with Jax so I didn’t bitch too much, I was happy for her. They’re had been a hell of a lot of drama with her lately and I just wanted her to have a bit of peace for a while.

  Jase was ‘too tired’ apparently. Which is ridiculous. I figured maybe he just wanted some peace and quiet from my bitching. Wouldn’t surprise me. I had been hell to live with, even I can admit that. I was just wound up, constantly.

  So I went alone. Stupid thing to do, but I wasn’t exactly in a ‘rationally thinking’ sort of place. I actually thought I might have been losing my mind a bit.

  Strutting up to the entrance of Blaze, I was praying that Mason wouldn’t notice I was there because I knew he’d fuck up my night. I just wanted to have a good time and find a decent guy without that asshole getting involved.

  So go somewhere else? I couldn’t. Blaze was the best, but cheapest place around. I really didn’t have the money to go anywhere. Plus, it was in walking distance, no taxi fares!

  I didn’t know how long I’d been dancing when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I whipped my head around, a little too fast it seemed as I stumbled sideways slightly and collided with another body.

  Ahh crap!

  “Hello Mason.” I breathed.

  “Hey gorgeous.”

  “What are doing here Mase?” I replied through clenched teeth. I did not need him intruding on my night. I wanted to pull...and not him!

  “Well, for one thing, I work here...” He drawled... “Then I saw you shakin’ your pretty little ass all over the dance floor, couldn’t help myself. You’re pushin’ me Sunshine, you should be careful with that. If I push back, I win.”

  “Don’t talk in code pretty boy, what the fuck are you talking about?” I began, then changed my tone and breathed into his ear... “I’m drinkin’, I’m dancin’ and I’m gonna find me a nice looking guy to take home with me and fuck him until neither of us can breathe.”

  I felt him stiffen behind me. But I was doing the right thing, it was for the best. He wanted something from me that I could never truly give, or at least not for a very long time. He deserved better than that, even if he didn’t get it yet. He would.

  Hopefully.

  “Not gonna happen beautiful. Try it. See where it gets you. You think I’m gonna let some grubby little prick put his hands on you?! You’re out of your fuckin’ mind if you think I’ll stand by and watch that happen.”

  Fuck. Him.

  “Then don’t watch.” I replied, and sauntered away. I may have put a little extra swing in my hips for his benefit, but who the fuck did he think he was? Telling me I wasn’t allowed to fuck someone else, I refuse to do as I’m told...ever. I thought I’d already established that with him. Stupid fucker just didn’t listen.

  I spotted a tall, possibly a bit too skinny, clean-shaven, dark haired guy leaning against the bar on the opposite side of the room and made my way across to him.

  Yeah, he’d do!

  When I was a few feet away, his eyes swung to me and instantly lit up, it was almost too easy. When I reached his side, I gave him my best ‘bedroom eyes’ and a flirtatious smile and watched as his tongue peeked out to wet his bottom lip. He straightened away from the bar slightly and squared his shoulders...yeah way too easy!

  “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” He asked.

  “Sure, I’ll just have a vodka and coke please”

  “Cool...” He leaned over the bar, trying to get the barman’s attention. He received a nod from the closest one to us and shouted his order across. Still waiting for the drinks, he turned to me looked me up and down, bit the side of his lip and raised an eyebrow, he really couldn’t have been more obvious.

  “So what’s your name?”

  “Harper.” I replied. Rule, never give your surname. Surname’s mean people can find you, when you don’t want to be found!

  “Luke.” He murmured, then stuck out his hand.

  Shaking hands? Really? It wasn’t a fucking business meeting!

  I edged closer to him and purposely rubbed myself against him when the barman placed our drinks on the bar and I reached for mine. I had my A game on for sure, and judging by the hard-on he was already sporting, it was working just fine.

  A hard-on...from a smile and a bit of close contact. Aww poor man hasn’t seen anything yet!

  He paid. I thanked him, then grabbed his hand and moved us towards the dance-floor. He made general needless conversation and I gave him as little information as I could. I didn’t to fucking talk. I wound myself around him and swayed my hips to the music. I was giving him some of my best moves, it was too obvious he was enjoying himself so I figured I wouldn’t waste anymore time so I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my mouth against his. It wasn’t a great kiss, it wasn’t even a particularly good kiss and it definitely wasn’t a ‘Mason kiss’, but I could work with it. I pulled back and then whispered in his ear.

  “You ready to leave?”

  “Damn right, let’s go.”

  And it was that easy.

  Or so I thought.

  He was practically running out of the club and I couldn’t help but chuckle at his eagerness. He was acting like he’d never had a decent fuck in his life. Fuck, yeah I hoped he actually had fucked before!

  We walked from the main room, to the foyer and I figured we were home free when the doorman put his arm across the door and asked us to wait.

  Wait for what?!

  “Hey man, we’re just leaving, what have we got to wait for?” Luke asked, his tone edged with annoyance. But the doorman ignored him completely, not even an eye flicker. I sighed, my hand still in Luke’s, I leaned back aga
inst the wall. A feeling grew in my gut, that I really wasn’t going to like whatever we were waiting for.

  I’ve never hated being right more in my life.

  “Mike, this guy here was caught doing drugs on CCTV, could you please escort him from the premises and ensure he knows he’s no longer welcome here in future.” The voice from behind me sounded. It was grave and demanding.

  That fucking asshole!

  Luke tensed and stuttered, “What? Man, nah I don’t do drugs, I don’t!...” His voice faded as he was literally dragged outside by the doorman. I started to follow; we were leaving anyway so I wasn’t going to rise to Mason’s fucked-up challenge. But I didn’t get very far before I was grabbed by the shoulder and swung around. I stumbled slightly but he caught me and hauled me into his chest.

  Wow, why does that have to be such a firm chest.

  “I told you not to push me Sunshine.” He growled.

  I stiffened. Frankly he could take his stupid growl and shove it where the sun don’t shine, I wasn’t gonna be intimidated. I tried to push away but he wouldn’t let me, no way in hell was I being restrained though.

  I raised my knee as high as I could in my confined situation, and rammed my stiletto, straight down onto his foot. He released me so quickly that I wasn’t quite prepared and fell into someone behind me, sending her down with me.

  He roared with pain and hopped around a couple of times, cursing up a storm. In my opinion, he was lucky, it wasn’t like it went through his shoe or anything.

  I stood from the floor and brushed off my dress, then helped up the poor girl I’d knocked over. It must have looked ridiculous to everyone around us, but the fucker shouldn’t have tried to restrain me!

  Mason

  MOTHER OF FUCK!!!!!

  Swear on all that’s holy I had never felt pain like it. I had to take a good look to make sure her heel hadn’t gone straight through my foot.

  Swear to god, nowhere, in any of my plans did I expect her to do that. I was seriously rethinking my attraction to her, I felt kind of bad that she fell over, but fuck her! She caused it!