Fated to be Mine

by Larson, Jodie

  “You don’t have to hurt there anymore, love. I promise you will never have to hurt there again as long as I’m here.” He leans forward, pressing our foreheads together, leaving my hand to cover his heart. “I’ve missed you so much, Tessa. I’m so sorry, more than you will ever know.”

  We close the distance to each other, pressing our mouths together in a whisper soft kiss. My lip trembles slightly as a flood of memories assaults my mind; each memory bringing back all the joy and pleasure those lips have brought me. My body takes over and I wrap my free hand around his neck. Pulling him closer to me, we seal our mouths together, succumbing to the kiss I’ve longed for since I last felt it. A kiss that is so perfect and natural. It’s a kiss I could see myself giving and receiving for the rest of my life.

  “Do you feel that, Tessa?” Andrew whispers against my lips. “My heart beats only for you. My heart longs for only you. It’s not complete without you in my life.”

  I pull back slightly, leaving my hand still resting on his chest. “I can’t do this here, not now. There are too many people around and Michael …” My eyes look everywhere but his. I stand from my chair, letting my hand fall from his body as I turn away from him. Andrew is instantly behind me, close enough for me to feel him even though he’s not touching me.

  “Your date is currently occupied outside on the veranda with your father and several other gentlemen. It appears he’s left you alone so someone else can snatch you away.”

  I turn and try to move away from him. He lightly grabs my elbow, anchoring my body against his. The hard muscles beneath his tux flex and tighten as he wraps an arm around my waist. I try not to picture those same muscles as they flex and tighten while he’s above me, worshipping my body while giving me immense pleasure.

  I shake my head. “Andrew, please, not here. I can’t do this tonight.” My voice is weak and small. The fight behind the words is not there, indicating that I’m really not willing to let him go. Deep down, I want this. I want him.

  He ducks down and brings my gaze to meet his. Confused hazels meet pleading blues as he softly cups my cheek in his hand.

  “One dance. Please, grant me one dance for tonight then I promise to leave. But only for this evening. I told you that I came here for you, to beg your forgiveness and to clear up whatever misunderstandings we have between us. I belong to you Tessa, body and soul, and I won’t stop until you see it too.”

  My willpower is fading quickly. With a final glance around, I place my hand in his, letting him lead me to the dance floor.

  “One dance, Andrew. That’s it.”

  My hand tingles at the skin-to-skin contact, his thumb lazily grazing over my own repeatedly. I can’t believe I’m doing this, here, right now, in front of all these people. Although it’s not uncommon to dance with people you didn’t arrive with. No one really even knows who I am so why would they care that I’m not dancing with Michael? But as Andrew’s arm wraps around my waist and brings our joined hands to his chest, I can’t stop myself from looping my own arm around his shoulders. I press up against him, close enough so our chests and stomachs are touching. This feels more intimate than the dance Michael and I shared earlier. Yet this also feels like home, like the universe is aligned in perfect formation.

  The song switches and the familiar strains of “It Had to Be You” fill the air. Fate, you really are trying to kill me, aren’t you? We sway together as we dance gracefully in a circle. We’re barely moving yet it feels like we’re floating at the same time. Andrew’s hand flexes at the small of my back and gently rubs up and down my spine.

  He leans his head down to rest against my cheek, whispering his thoughts into my ear. “Words cannot describe how beautiful you look tonight, love. It took everything I had to stay away and watch you from afar. Seeing you with your date, watching you laugh with him and dance closely, knowing that it should be me out there instead of him, about drove me mad. I have never been a jealous man, but seeing you with him made me feel something I have never felt before.”

  His words swirl in my head, my brain running a million miles a minute at this bit of information. How long has he been here? What if he saw my run-in with Sharon, or worse yet, heard what she had said to me? But then I realize he was watching me, staring at me, jealous of my time with Michael. Even though he has nothing to be jealous of, he doesn’t know that yet.

  He really did come here to see me. The pain in my heart lessens as I let that wash over me.

  I pull my head back slightly, needing to look into the blue eyes that I love, praying to find some answers to questions I’m not ready to verbalize tonight. What I see surprises me, although I’m not sure why. I see regret, sadness, and hope. Could he have possibly known I had secretly wanted him to follow me, to rescue me from myself and my crazy insecurities? To drag me away to places unknown, hidden from the world where we could reconnect and rediscover each other? Then I remember the pain I felt one week ago, the feeling of betrayal and believing he didn’t want me and didn’t return my affections. A lone tear slips down my cheek as my gaze falls onto the floor. Andrew releases my hand, gently sweeping away the tear with his thumb. A soft sob escapes me as he cups my cheek and pulls me closer to him.

  “Please, don’t cry. It breaks my heart to watch you cry and it shatters me whole to know that I am the reason behind those tears.”

  Another tear slips down my cheek, but he quickly brushes it away. We’ve stopped dancing, even though the music is still playing. Andrew’s wet thumb brushes over my quivering bottom lip, allowing the wetness to seep into my mouth, letting me taste my salty tears. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of confusion, all running together and releasing from my body. And I’m trying really hard to guard my heart and not let it rule my body, but I’m finding it more and more difficult the longer I’m around Andrew.

  “Andrew,” I whisper.

  He closes the distance between us, gently stroking his lips against mine. It’s soft and familiar, making me sigh softly as we continue to move against each other’s lips. He doesn’t push me to open for him. It feels like he’s restraining himself, letting me guide him as to what I want to happen. The spark that I love runs through our connection, lighting up the room even if it’s only in my mind. Andrew places several soft pecks against my lips before pulling away, guiding my head down to rest upon his shoulder as he holds me tight with both arms around me.

  Tonight has been more emotional than I anticipated it to be. First, Sharon shows her colors outside of the house. Then Andrew, the keeper of my heart and the one who makes my life shine brightly with promises of hope and love shows up, professing his need to be with me and to win me back.

  The music stops and we slowly pull away from each other, making me miss the contact instantly. He grabs my hand and presses his lips against my skin, sending a new round of shockwaves through my system.

  “Thank you for the dance, Tessa. I promised I would leave after our dance and I plan on fulfilling that promise. But before I go, I need to know I’ll be able to see you tomorrow. Can we meet somewhere to talk? There’s so much that I need to say.”

  Andrew’s eyes bounce back and forth across my face, searching, pleading, begging me to hear him out. I exhale a breath and nod my head.

  “How about we meet up for lunch? Let’s say around one o’clock?”

  He smiles, cupping my face gently in his hands. “One o’clock it is. Until then, my sweet Tessa.”

  His lips slant over mine, allowing me to bask in his taste once again. A taste I have missed for the past week and one that my body craves more than anything in the world. How do you forget the person who gave you your first real kiss, even if he never knew it?

  Andrew keeps his promise and leaves me standing on the dance floor with my body longing for his, instantly missing him. My eyes open and watch his retreating form head for the bank of elevators, praying silently that he’ll turn around for a final glance. As if he could read my thoughts, Andrew turns his head and mouths something to m
e before disappearing around the corner.

  I need to improve my lip reading skills if he’s going to continue doing that.

  With a swipe of my finger, I wipe away any black smudges of mascara that may have appeared after my emotional dance with Andrew. My body still quakes, still feels his touch over my skin and his warm breath against my neck. I’m not sure how I can continue on with the rest of my night after Andrew’s presence here. So I go seek Michael out, hoping that I can convince him to leave.

  Michael stands in a circle with several other men, my father included, all laughing loudly while holding their crystal tumblers filled with an amber liquid. His head turns as I approach, a smile gracing his face. He makes room for me to join them and I flash nervous grins to everyone in the circle.

  “And who is this lovely young lady, Michael?” asks one of the men standing directly across from us.

  “This is Tessa, who I am lucky enough to be escorting here tonight.” There’s pride in his voice as the men around us all nod their head in agreement.

  “Yes, gentlemen, this is my daughter. Michael is a very lucky man indeed.”

  Is that another compliment from my dad? This night has to rank high on my weird scale. I brightly smile at him, appreciating the sentiment, strange as it may feel.

  “How long was I gone? I guess we got a little carried away, talking politics and whatnot. Hopefully, you’re not too mad at me.”

  “No, I’m not mad. But I was beginning to wonder if you had abandoned me.”

  He taps the end of my nose and smiles. “Never.”

  The light feeling that I held before is gone, leaving me nothing but a pile of nerves and twisting emotions. Michael must see it in my eyes because he reaches out to the surrounding men, shaking each of their hands.

  “Well gentlemen, it’s getting late and I must take this gorgeous treasure back home. I wouldn’t want her father getting upset with me for having her out so late.” They all erupt in laughter and my dad claps him on the shoulder.

  “It was very nice meeting you, Michael. I hope to see more of you soon.”

  They shake hands and then, in a shocking move, my dad leans down and kisses the top of my head.

  “Goodnight, Tessa. I’m so glad you came. You really do look lovely tonight. And please, don’t be afraid to bring Michael around. Maybe the three of us could do lunch sometime?”

  I repeatedly blink, trying my best not to look shell-shocked. “Um, sure, Dad. That would be wonderful. What about you, Michael?”

  “Lunch with the two of you would be perfect. We’ll try to set something up soon. Robert, again, thank you for the wonderful party. I’ll see to it that Tessa gets home safe.”

  They shake hands a final time and Michael ushers us back through the doors to retrieve our things that we left at the table. With his hand at the small of my back, we leave the ballroom and head down toward the lobby, eager to get home. Well, at least I am.

  He opens my apartment door for me as I hobble inside, dying to free my feet from the constraints of the devil shoes I’m wearing. Trudy and I need to talk about fashion and comfort. There must be a balance between the two.

  “Thank you so much for everything tonight, Michael. I really had a lot of fun. And you being there with me made it bearable.”

  “It was my pleasure, Tessa. I had fun as well. Met a lot of new contacts and got some pretty great advice from your dad. He’s a pretty cool guy and knows his stuff.”

  I lean up against the counter and sigh. “Yeah, one thing he knows really well is work. It’s all he does. I’m glad you were able to meet some people and possibly help your career along.”

  Michael steps forward and gives me a giant hug. I return the favor and silently thank whoever placed him in my life.

  “Coffee on Monday?”

  I smile. “You bet. We should just plan to do it every morning. I seem to function better when I’ve had caffeine that doesn’t come from my house.”

  He laughs and mock knocks my chin. “Have a good weekend, Tess.”

  “You too.”

  Michael slowly backs out into the hallway and I wave at him before closing the door and securing it. With a heavy sigh, I slump back against the door, thankful for the night to be over. My head is pounding and it’s not even from the several glasses of champagne I consumed. No, the pounding is due to the confusing nature of the night.

  My dad was outwardly showing me affection, which is strange in its own right. Michael saved me after Sharon showed her true colors in public. And then there’s Andrew, appearing out of the blue, telling me that he needs me, came for me, and still wants me to be his.

  I find myself opening the cabinet above the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of vodka, needing the burning shot to calm my nerves so I can sleep. After the second one, the pleasant numbness starts to set in and the jumbled thoughts in my head dissipate slightly.

  My phone beeps in my clutch, drawing my attention to it again.

  Thank you for the dance tonight, love. You have no idea how happy I was to hold you in my arms again, even if it was just for a short amount of time. Please let me know when you have returned home safe. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. ~A~

  One more shot for good measure should do it. I swallow the liquid, feeling the burn hit my stomach as I limp back to my bedroom, eager to rid myself of the oppressive clothes.

  I crawl into bed and turn off the light on the table beside me while staring at the phone in my hands. I should reply to him. I don’t want him to worry about whether or not I’ve returned home. I’ve put that man through enough worry for one lifetime already.

  I have arrived home safe and sound. It really was nice to see you tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow. Goodnight, Andrew. ~T~

  Placing the phone on the table, my mind wanders through the hazy fog of my thoughts. Images of Andrew appear behind my lids, garnering my attention. His hand reaches out to mine, pulling me close and promises to give me the forever I’ve always wanted. Now I just need to know if it’s all a dream or not.

  THE WAITRESS HURRIES PAST MY table again, giving another glance at my half empty glass of Diet Coke. My gaze wanders around nervously, even though I have nothing to be nervous about. The noise is a good distraction, though; plates clanging together, the loud murmuring of conversations, and the occasional wail of an unhappy toddler. All of it aids in my distraction as my leg bounces up and down underneath the table.

  He’s not going to show. Another glance at my watch shows only one minute has passed since the last time I checked it and is still showing that it’s not quite one o’clock yet. But I wanted to be early. I wanted to be the one to see Andrew walk through the door, watch as he searches the room until his eyes land upon mine. That’s when the magic happens. Those dreamy blue eyes soften as he smiles; the worry lines across his face ease and fade, making him even more impossibly handsome than he already is. I would watch as he swaggers over to me, pulling me from my chair. Then he’d bend me backward to claim my mouth, his tongue stroking deep and long, hard and soft, possessing, owning, branding me as his, leaving me a breathless mess.

  Did I mention I’m daydreaming? Because there is no way that scenario is happening. Life is not a chick flick. Life is messy and filled with many complications. And you can’t get more complicated than fighting your own thoughts, making you believe the one person you want doesn’t want you back.

  I glance over the menu again, unsure if my stomach could handle any food right now. The smell of coffee and grease is thick in the air but is suddenly overpowered by an all too familiar smell; one that I can pick out blindfolded and know exactly who it belongs to. My head turns and my breath catches in my throat. There he is, lowering himself into the empty seat next to me, still not wanting to sit away from me. The sentiment is endearing and highly romantic.

  Andrew moves his chair so close to mine they’re almost touching. The only thing getting in the way is the corner of the table. His long slender fingers reach out, desperately
seeking the comfort of my own. The tips of our fingers play with each other; the slight contact sends warmth through the connection straight into my chest. It’s a simple touch, one typically done by two teenagers trying to sneak around, needing to feel each other but not wanting to make it obvious. Andrew’s larger hand fully engulfs my own and I sigh, not realizing how much I needed the contact.

  A light tug sends me forward, the perfect position for Andrew to lean into a kiss. Only he doesn’t. Instead, his big beautiful eyes close as he softly inhales, taking in the moment. I follow suit, allowing the smell of his cologne to swirl into my nose, calming my nerves and stopping the bouncing leg beneath the table. There’s something about his smell that calms me like nothing before. No amounts of lavender or chamomile will ever soothe my senses like Andrew.

  His eyes open and I see multiple emotions flash across his face.

  Hope … longing … need … desire.

  I’m afraid to put a name on the last one because if it’s not true, if he doesn’t feel that way about me then I’ll make a fool of myself again. I don’t want to do that anymore.

  The distance closes between our lips, moving slowly over one another, soft and wet, gentle and sure. It brings my body to life, sending an electrical arc to race through my nervous system.

  “Hi,” Andrew whispers against my lips, reaching up to cup my cheek in his hand. My shoulders relax with the gentle strokes of his thumb, relieving the tension right out of my body.

  “Hi,” I whisper back.

  From the outside, this looks like an intimate lover’s reunion, unlike the one from last night. There’s a familiarity that our bodies recognize because they’re drawn together. Fated if you will. He is the matching half of my soul. At least I thought he was, or maybe he still could be. My neuroses could very well be clouding my judgment.

  But the closer he stays to me, the more I feel myself falling back into the familiar emotions we draw from each other. The previous sounds I needed to aid in my distraction before have now faded to nothing. It’s as if the two of us are seated in our own little bubble, content on just staring into each other’s eyes. Without thought, my hand reaches up and strokes the side of his face, feeling the day old stubble underneath. How I loved feeling those whiskers against my fingers and other places along the expanse of my body. Andrew must have remembered because he’s usually so clean shaven at this point in the day.