Hard To Love

by Tina Rose

  “What are you trying to say, Carter?”

  The timbre of his voice dropped to a level of intimacy she’d never heard, as he stepped closer, closing the gap between them. Wrapping his hand around her throat, he slowly began caressing her pulse point. “I know I’m selfish. I take what I want, when I want it. I’m the man all mommas warn their little girls about. I know I’ll push you and piss you off. And in the end you may even hate me. But I’ll also make sure you feel my touch down to your bones. I’ll show you sex like you never knew existed, Ella. I’ll keep you hot, wet and coming undone, just from my voice or my glance. But you have to let me.”

  Ella’s heart crashed into her rib cage and a flood of need gathered between her legs. Every instinct of self-preservation told her to run, as he looked at her with hungry, desperate eyes. Cupping the back of her head with one hand, he pulled her face close to his, setting his mouth over hers like it belonged to him.

  Inhaling her sweet summer scent in the cool autumn night air ignited something deep in Carter’s soul. He wanted to spend all night reminding her, branding her, so all she’d ever want was his tongue or cock buried deep inside her. If he had anything to do with it, no other man was going to be touching her.

  “And just so you know, I’m not okay with any other man touching this body of yours,” he whispered, running his hands down the side of her body to her hips. “So, if you decide this is what you want, kitten, this will be all mine.”

  The scent and warmth of his body engulfed her every sense. For so long, she’d been waiting. Waiting to feel that sparkle or tingle again, the one that she only felt when he was near. Suddenly, every fiber in her being screamed for her to run. She knew, without a shadow of doubt, he was going to break her worse than Derek had ever dreamed. Still, she craved him, his touch, his scent, and taste, remembering vividly every second she had spent with him more clearly than any other moment in her life.

  Tears puddled in the rims of her eyes. “I’m afraid. What happens when you break me into so many pieces I’ll never find all of them, and I’ll be lost forever?”

  “Just come home with me tonight, El. At least give me one more night,” Wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes, cocooning her, pulling her closer to him, taking in her scent.” Anxiety crept through him, thinking this may be the last time he would have her, or see those fiery green eyes grow darker every time he filled her, over and over. To not hear those sounds she made, or how his dick fit her pussy so perfectly, made him crazy.

  Cocooned in his lean, long, hard body, Ella succumbed to the overwhelming sense of security and contentment she felt, tucked tightly in his arms. Breathing softly against his chest, to her amazement, nothing had ever felt more right. With hooded eyes, she looked into his beautiful pools of blue staring back at her.

  “Carter,” she said on a whisper. “Take me home.”

  Relief flooded him, and without hesitation, Carter scooped her up in his arms, taking her to his truck before she had time to change her mind. Tonight, he was going to make sure he left a lasting imprint on her memory. He planned on taking his time with her, making love to every inch of her sugary sweet body, until he was engrained into her, body, mind and soul.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Inside Carter’s bedroom, he spread Ella out on his king size mattress, coming down with her, settling his mouth over hers. All he wanted was for her to feel how tender his touch could be. Framing her face with his large hands, he locked her in place, gently kissing her, making love to her mouth.

  Ella felt his warm, hard, velvet skin beneath her fingers, as she ran her hands down his back. Ripples of pleasure surged through her as she freely touched his body, with no blindfolds, no restraints, just their bodies touching skin to skin, his lips torturing her, hot and wet, licking, kissing, tasting her. The overwhelming need to touch him, run her fingers through his hair and feel his flesh under her fingers alarmed her. Being with Carter, like this, so tender and intimate, terrified her like nothing ever had. Sheer red-hot pleasure radiated throughout her body, as her emotions skidded and whirled. She wasn’t sure what was going on between them anymore, an itch that needed to be scratched, a natural disaster, or the worst mistake of her life? Whatever it was, tonight she was following her heart, instincts be damned! Her body tingled as she gave in to her own desires.

  “I love to see you all sexy and coming apart, just for me,” Carter whispered huskily, devouring her lips once again. “You’re so beautiful. Your body was made just for my hands.”

  A jolt ran through him when he caressed her breast and his pulse quickened as he flicked his tongue across the beaded tip and she ran her slender fingers through his dark hair. “You do something to me, kitten. You make me want to keep you here with me, in my bed, in my life, adoring you,” he said, making his way down her abdomen. “Treasuring you, cherishing you like this.”

  Sliding his head between her thighs, he rained kisses over her throbbing sex, lightly nipping and tugging it between his lips. Her pulse galloped faster as he inserted two fingers into her wet channel. He pushed his fingers deeper, until he hit that perfect spot, making her moan deep in her throat. Lifting his head, he looked at her for a wild, frenzied heartbeat, his eyes sparkling like shiny gemstones.

  “You like that don’t you baby?” he asked softly. “I want your pleasure and needs to be mine to control. I want to make you so fucking hot, you feel like you’re gonna bust into burning flames.”

  Ella’s sex clenched as a moan escaped her, and she rocked her hips, needing more friction against her clit while he sank his fingers deeper inside her. Only he could subdue the pulsing throb in her body that was begging for his fingers, his lips and tongue. As he brushed his lips over her clit once again, lust coursed through her. A cry escaped her throat and her breath caught as the first orgasm rocketed through her.

  “That’s it baby, I’ve got you, come for me. Come undone for me, kitten,” he cooed, continuing his rhythm as she rode it out.

  Carter kissed the inside of her thigh before he slowly inched his way back up her body, laying soft kisses on her heated skin as he moved. Groaning, he took one beaded nipple in his mouth like something priceless, while the other puckered, begging for attention. He loved the sound of her moans as she rubbed her hands over his skin, reaching down to stroke his rock hard erection.

  A deep rumble came out of him and he grabbed her head with both hands, probing his tongue into her mouth. “I want you. You don’t know how much I want my cock inside you now.”

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she raised her hips off the bed to meet the head of him. Another groan escaped his lips as he pushed against her opening, stretching her, before he thrust his hips and shoved his cock deep inside her. The pleasure of feeling him pulsing inside was so exquisite, she rolled her eyes in the back of her head as her lids closed and she pleaded for more.

  At the same time he thrust inside her, he kissed her, stealing her breath with each heart- stopping plunge. “I need you so fucking bad, El,” he husked in her ear, swiveling his hips, pushing into her, claiming her.

  “Take me,” she cried, wrapping her legs around his hips. Ella met each thrust, over and over, shivering under the heat of his skin, as he watched her with passion in his eyes.

  Feeling like their bodies were blending as one, he rocked his hips into her, making sweet love to her. Nothing hard and frantic like before, he was taking his time with her. The only thing that mattered at that moment was the way she felt, the way she smelled and the sound of their lovemaking. He could feel her start to come, the shockwaves hitting her, her pussy gripping and milking him. Hearing her soft cries of pleasure as she trembled beneath him spurred on his own explosion. On a growl, he jetted off inside her, filling her until chill bumps covered his own body.

  “You’re unbelievable, you know that?” she murmured, as he tenderly kissed her forehead. Rolling over, he pulle
d her into his side, breathing in her scent, wondering what the hell he was going to do if she decided this was truly their last night together.

  “Hmmm, you’re the one unbelievable, sweetness,” he hummed. “It feels so good to be buried inside you. I could live there.”

  “I don’t think your fans would appreciate seeing that on stage,” she teased.

  “No? I’d pay extra just to get a glimpse of this sweet ass of yours,” he teased, lightly smacking her on the tush.

  “Ouch, that’s not nice, sir,” she chastised.

  “I never said I played nice.”

  “No, you don’t. But I kind of like it.”

  His eyes grew dark with reawakened hunger, pulling her on top of him, and she felt his stiffness push against her ass. “You better be careful what you ask for kitten.” Gripping her hips, he quickly picked her up, and dropped her down on his rigid shaft. “Do you love the feel of my dick?”

  “Yes,” she moaned, as he began moving inside her.

  “Tell me you love it,” he demanded.

  “You know I do,” she answered, grinding her hips down on him.

  “Say you want it.”

  “I do, Carter. I want you!” she gasped.

  “Only me,” he growled. “Say it’s only me.”

  “Only you, Carter, just you.”

  Their bodies strained and moved together, as he pinched her nipples, and pushed as deep as he could go. Her pussy clasped and unclasped as each thrust surged through her, until she shuddered uncontrollably and whimpered his name.

  “That’s right, sweetness. This is all mine,” Carter rumbled, as his own orgasm overtook him. Even if he fucked her all night long, he knew he’d still be hungry for another taste of her. Since when did he let a woman take charge of his dick? Ever since he looked into those vibrant green eyes, and felt that pussy tight around his cock, six fucking years ago, that’s when. Now he wanted nothing more than for this woman to crave him, morning, noon and night. And nothing was going to stop him from making that happen.

  ********

  Since they had returned from Nashville, Ella had been extremely busy. The mayor’s daughter kept changing her mind with the changing of the wind. Pastor Smith’s wife was nit-picking every detail, micro-managing every step Ella took.

  Ella hadn’t seen Carter for three days, but he had called her every night and sent sexy little texts throughout the day. Who would’ve thought this blue eyed devil could bring such a huge smile to her face? She couldn’t remember being this happy, ever. Even when she was dating Derek, or after they married, Ella couldn’t remember him making her feel so wanted, happy and satisfied. Carter was tearing down the wall she had spent years building. Every time the phone rang or notified her of a text message, she got excited.

  Today, she was meeting with Liv and Alana to discuss details of the fast approaching benefit date for the horse rescue. Pulling up to the horse stable, Ella noticed Gabe and Drew right away.

  Gabe had done wonders with the skittish horse, so much so that Drew, Liv’s best friend, was actually attempting to ride the unruly horse. Gabe stood by the mustang, speaking soft, consoling words, as Drew attempted to climb into the saddle. She watched intently as her sister’s friend led the prancing horse around in circles.

  Drew was a handsome man, with a sleek, slim nose, sexy, thin eyebrows with a natural scowl, and straight dark blonde hair with sun streaks, that fell on his shirt collar. He had a neatly trimmed beard, edging only around his jawline. Ella could not for the life of her figure out why Liv was not attracted to the guy. It was obvious to everyone but her little sister, that the guy was crazy for her. He looked like a Greek god as he began riding on the back of the red roan mustang, while the horse trotted in circles around the ring and the wind whipped his hair around.

  As Ella approached the corral, Gabe waved, walking away from the center of the ring, and stepping up on the bottom rung, he scaled the fence. Throwing his leg over the top plank, he lost his balance and tumbled to the ground.

  Ella screamed, and ran to Gabe’s side. “Oh my God, Gabe, are you okay?” she asked, worriedly.

  “Yeah,” he grimaced, rising to his feet. Once he tried to walk, he had a noticeable limp.

  “Here, let me help you. Put your arm around me,” Ella offered.

  Gabe draped his arm over her shoulder, leaning on her for support, as they made their way to Liv and Alana, who were coming from the office.

  “What the hell, dude?” Liv chastised. “You’re freakin’ accident prone!”

  “I am not accident prone. The damn top board came loose. Whoever put your fence up needs to learn what the hell they’re doin’,” Gabe bit out.

  “Gabe?” Carter growled, staring at Gabe’s arm around Ella’s shoulder.

  Gabe looked at Carter like he was growing two heads. “What?”

  “Hands,” Carter cautioned.

  “Are you friggin’ kidding me right now, jackass?” Gabe challenged.

  “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

  “Carter,” Ella reprimanded. “Gabe hurt his leg. What is wrong with you? Mind your manners.”

  Instead, Carter continued to stare at Gabe, until he removed his arm from around Ella’s shoulder. “Un-fucking-believable. I don’t know how you put up with him,” he grumbled in her ear, hobbling over to a bale of hay to sit down.

  “Asshat,” Carter scowled at his longtime friend, making his way toward Ella.

  “That was uncalled for, don’t you think?” she asked, stepping back when he reached for her.

  “What? If he thinks I’m sharing you, he’s wrong,” Carter stated.

  “Share me?” she asked, horrified. “Is that what you guys are into?”

  If that was Carter’s plan, he was barking up the wrong tree. She was out. Not that she hadn’t had thoughts of a threesome, but she certainly wasn’t going down that road with a man her sister had been intimate with. Ella closed her eyes, trying to repress the sheer panic rising in her chest.

  Opening her eyes, she saw Carter stepping closer. Each step he took affected her, causing her cheeks to burn as she thought about him sharing women. It wasn’t that it surprised her, but after the time they had shared together, she felt hurt and betrayed.

  “Don’t touch me!” she squealed as he reached for her hand.

  Carter’s expression changed from surprise, to anger, to something Ella couldn’t comprehend. Maybe it was hurt or pain?

  “El?” he questioned softly, with a wounded look in his eyes, before looking around to see all eyes trained on them.

  Carter’s eyes flicked to Gabe. Reading Carter’s thoughts, he diverted Liv’s and Alana’s attention. “Hey ladies, would you mind giving me a hand. I need to wrap this ankle and ice it down.”

  “Oh shit! I’m sorry, Gabe. Let me help you,” Liv exclaimed.

  Turning back to face Ella, Carter calmly asked, “Have I given you any reason to not trust me?”

  “No,” she responded, sullenly.

  “Last time I touched you, did I make you feel like you were cheap, inconsequential or insignificant?”

  “No.” Ella dropped her head shamefully, thinking back to the way he had worshipped her body the last time they had sex, feeling more like they had made love.

  “And when I told Gabe to move his hands, did it sound like I was okay with his hands being on you? That I wanted to share what was mine?”

  Ella’s breath caught. He thought she was his? “No, but,” she protested, before Carter placed his index finger on her lips to quiet her, warning her with a raised eyebrow.

  “So, to answer your question,” he spoke softly, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear, dragging his knuckle intimately down the side of her jawline. “Yes. In the past, Gabe and I have shared women. But, for the record sweetness, you�
��re the first woman I’ve ever cared enough about to not want to. And, I’ve already told you. I don’t want any man besides me touching you.”

  Heat crept up Ella’s face as embarrassment flooded her. Carter had bent over backwards to show her she could trust him. Now, she wondered if she would ever be capable of trusting any man again. Without trust, no relationship was possible, no commitment, no love.

  “Carter, you’re right. I’m sorry. I….I,” she stammered, almost in tears as emotion engulfed her.

  “Shhh, come here,” he soothed, pulling her into his warm, strong arms. “Listen to me. I know I have a lot to prove to you. Hell, I’ve got a lot to prove to myself. But, I need to know if you’re with me?”

  When Ella didn’t answer him right away, he tilted her head back by the chin so he could see her gorgeous green eyes. Pressure built in his chest; this was make or break time for him. And God knew, the break part would mean his heart.

  “Ella, are you with me?” he pleaded with his eyes. Please say you’re with me.

  Thinking long and hard before answering his question, Ella knew she had questions of her own.

  “Carter, what does that even mean to you?”

  Grinning that singe-your-panties-off smile of his, he said “It means, kitten, I want you all to myself. Is that clear enough for you? Will that get through this beautiful, thick skull of yours?” he chuckled.

  “This is a two way street you know, superstar? And I’m not sure your ego will fit down this street.”

  “I guess we’ll never know until we try it?”

  “You know you’re going to break me?” she said with pained, hesitant eyes.