A Cursed Kiss (Myths of Airren Book 1)

by Jenny Hickman

  Giving Tadhg a year meant letting go of the man I loved. Robert wouldn’t wait for me—and I wouldn’t expect him to. Tadhg wasn’t only asking for a year. He was asking for my future.

  “It doesn’t have to be me,” I told him, closing the gap between us. “You could marry anyone.”

  He was the Gancanagh, the bloody Prince of Seduction. Surely he could convince someone to be his bride.

  He shook his head, his face twisting with a look of horror. “And give someone else power over me? Not a feckin’ hope. There are very few people in this world I trust, and you are one of them.”

  After all I’d done, after he’d seen the hate in my heart, he trusted me.

  How was that possible?

  “Tadhg . . .” He looked so hopeful, I almost gave him what he wanted.

  No. Not what he wanted.

  If Tadhg had wanted to stay married to me, if I was more than a means to an end, perhaps my choice would have been different. He knew how awful it felt to be used and cast aside. And yet he was trying to do the same thing to me.

  I wanted more. Needed more. Deserved more.

  I inhaled a shaky breath and smoothed a hand down my stomach to the sash at my waist. “I’m sorry, but I cannot stay married to you.”

  The spark of hope in his eyes vanished, replaced by vacant black. Tadhg withdrew the dagger at his waist and flipped it so the hilt was facing me. “Then I want you to kill me.”

  I skirted back, trying to escape the barrier. “Are you mad? I’m not killing you.”

  Tadhg gestured with the dagger toward where Ruairi waited, fists braced on his hips, looking murderous. “I’d let him do it,” he said, his mouth twisting into a mocking smile, “but I think you’d enjoy it more.”

  “No one is killing you.”

  “Until death do us part, Keelynn. If you want out of this marriage, one of us needs to die. And unless you’re immortal and haven’t told me, I’m the only one who can come back from the underworld.”

  Until death do us part.

  I took the dagger and wrapped my fingers around the cold hilt. “What about our annulment?”

  Until death do us part.

  “Apparently, my eejit brother doesn’t know the difference between a handfasting and proper wedding vows. And as we were in a bit of a rush, I didn’t take too much notice of the words at the time,” he said, massaging the black band on his finger. “Even if we went ahead with the annulment, it wouldn’t break the promises I made to you or the ones you made to me. We would still be married.”

  My palms began to sweat and shake, forcing me to adjust my grip. “Won’t it hurt?”

  “Does it matter?” He caught my wrist and forced the blade to the base of his ribs. “Go on, Keelynn. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To kill the Gancanagh. Now’s your chance.”

  This was my chance.

  One thrust, and he’d be dead.

  Not forever. Just long enough to break this connection before coming back.

  This was my chance.

  I could do this.

  I could release myself.

  I could—

  I couldn’t.

  “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to screw Robert-the-bland with a clear conscience? Don’t you want to rid yourself of our marriage bond?” Tadhg spat, eyes no longer vacant but narrowed and vicious. Magic swelled, stealing the air from inside the tiny bubble. “Although, going back to a human after you’ve been with one of us will be disappointing. Just ask Marina.” Tadhg nudged the dead woman’s torso with his boot. “Oh, wait. You can’t. She’s dead.”

  “I know what you’re doing.” I tried and failed to pull away. “But it won’t work.” Tadhg said mean, awful things to hide the fact that he was hurting. “Hearing you spew hate doesn’t make me hate you, Tadhg. It makes me pity you.”

  He released his hold, and the dagger clattered to the ground.

  Sound exploded, and Ruairi was there, clutching my elbow, asking if I was all right and apologizing for Tadhg. I didn’t have it in me to respond as I turned and ran for home.

  26

  Candlelight winked in my plate’s gilded edges. The pastel roses printed on the china peeked from between leftover pieces of ham and sweet potatoes. Robert’s knife screeched across his plate as he tucked into his third helping of ham. I’d forced myself to eat a few bites, but mostly I drank. Thankfully, Robert kept my wine glass filled to the brim.

  “You are particularly melancholy this evening, my darling,” he said between bites. “Are you sure nothing is bothering you?”

  “I’m not feeling very well.” Because I was hollow and growing more numb with every glass.

  Robert frowned and dabbed at his lips with a serviette. He’d changed into a coat and tails for dinner. It’s what most households did when dining, but I’d never understood the tradition, especially when it was just the two of us. Due to my limited wardrobe—and lack of caring—I hadn’t bothered changing.

  “Perhaps you should retire early,” he said, taking a sip of red wine.

  “Perhaps you’re right.”

  He went back to eating, and I went back to my liquid anaesthetic. Discreetly, I checked for the marriage bond beneath the ring. The black band was still there. Instead of disappointment, I felt relief. There had to be some other way around this curse. Something that would give us both what we wanted without tying ourselves to one another.

  You know who I am.

  I love you too.

  This wine was muddling my brain. Tadhg was a master at manipulating the truth. He was a terrible, terrible person who told women he loved them so he could convince them to sleep with him.

  He was a murderer.

  I knew all of these things, and yet the idea of being the one who could save him stirred something in my heart. If only my heart didn’t belong to someone else.

  Robert looked up from his plate and smiled a contented smile. And why wouldn’t he be content? He had been born into privilege, never wanted for anything a day in his entire life. A human man, one of the lucky ones in charge of his own destiny.

  “Robert? What do you like about me?” I had waited years for him to notice me. And when he did notice, his attention was all I craved. What had been the turning point for him? What was it about me that made him so sure I was the one?

  “What do you mean?” he asked, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows.

  “It’s a fairly simple question. I want to know what you like about me.”

  He picked up his wine glass and settled himself against the back of the chair, twisting the stem between his fingers. The deep red liquid sloshed inside. “I like your hair when it’s up and that you do not paint your face with rouge.”

  “Is that all?”

  “Don’t be absurd. Of course that’s not all.” He took a drink and then went back to swirling. “I like that I’ve known you for almost my entire life, and that our families get on. I like that you come from a respectable home and that you are well read.”

  None of those qualities set me apart from any other woman of my station. Surely, there had to be more driving his feelings for me than my upbringing.

  “What about something personal?”

  He pursed his lips, and the wrinkle between his eyebrows deepened. “Such as?”

  I gulped some wine. By the time I set the glass back onto the table, Robert was ready and waiting with the bottle in his hand. Red drops spilled into the glass. Filling. Filling. Filling. Once it was full, he set the bottle aside.

  What did I like about Robert? There were so many things, it was hard to think of just a few. Or it could’ve been the wine. “Let’s see. I like that you remembered how much I love scones. And I like that you always smell like leather and the ocean. And I like the way it feels when you hold my hand.”

  “Well, good. Because I like holding your hand,” he said with that contented smile. It didn’t turn into a mischievous grin or lift higher on one side. It remained plastered on his face like a mask. Robert�
��s smile was bland.

  “I like the way you smell like roses,” he said, bland smile never wavering.

  Roses? I didn’t smell like roses. “You mean lavender.” Aveen had been the one to smell like roses. Not because she loved the flowers but because she tended them so often.

  “Yes, yes, of course. I meant lavender. I always get those two mixed up.”

  I picked up my wine glass, then set it back down. “Do you know my favorite flower?”

  “Of course I do. You’ve always loved fuschia.”

  “Fuschia were Aveen’s favorite flowers. Not mine.”

  He shook his head slowly, brow furrowed in confusion. “That’s strange. I could’ve sworn you told me fuschia were your favorite.”

  “No. I love hydrangeas.”

  It wasn’t a big deal. In the grand scheme of life, my favorite flower didn’t matter. None of this mattered because we loved each other, and love conquered all.

  “Now I know,” he said. “Thank you for telling me.”

  That smile. That bloody smile.

  Pounding echoed from the dark hallway.

  “Who’s calling at this hour?” he muttered, balling up the serviette on his lap and tossing it onto the table. The chair scraped the tiles when he stood.

  Shouts and boisterous laughter echoed down the hallway. Two men around my own age bounded in, a heavy sack thrown over the taller one’s shoulder.

  Robert rushed toward them. “What are you two doing here?”

  “You missed a good night, mate,” the taller one said, dropping the sack onto the floor with a heavy thud. The knees of his breeches and his black boots were caked with mud. The shorter one didn’t look much better, with clumps of grass springing from the top of his high hessians.

  Robert’s gaze flicked to mine.

  The two men turned and startled when they saw me. I offered a small wave and a false smile because my real one seemed to be missing.

  “My apologies, milady. We didn’t know Robert had company.” The taller one grabbed the bag and hefted it back over his shoulder. “We can call another time.”

  “That would be best,” Robert said tightly, ushering them toward the hallway.

  “There’s no need to dismiss them on my account. I don’t mind if they stay.” If we were going to get married, I would need to meet his friends. Now was as good a time as any.

  Robert adjusted the cuffs at his wrists and tugged down his waistcoat. “William, Gary, I’d like to introduce you to Lady Keelynn Bannon. My father’s estate in Graystones shares a border with Lord Bannon’s land. He’s Lady Keelynn’s father.”

  “Bannon,” the taller one, William, repeated, rubbing a hand across his bearded chin. “Weren’t you engaged to someone by that name?”

  Robert’s shoulders stiffened.

  “Robert was engaged to my sister, Aveen,” I explained. Aveen, who smelled like roses and loved fuschia.

  “Very sorry to hear of her passing. Such a tragedy.” William bowed his head. “Robert was beside himself for months.”

  Beside himself? Over my sister? All he’d ever felt for her was disdain.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.” I waited for Robert to offer his friends some refreshments. This wasn’t my home, so it wasn’t my place. But when he didn’t ask them to sit down, the manners instilled in me since childhood kicked in. “Why don’t you both have a seat? We can ask the footman to bring two extra plates. There’s plenty of food.”

  “There’s no need,” Robert clipped, narrowing his eyes at his friends. “We will see one another at the ball on Friday night.”

  “Robert’s right,” Gary said, backing toward the door. “We’ve outstayed our welcome. It was lovely to meet you, Lady Keelynn. I hope we will see each other again soon.”

  They were almost through the door when I remembered the bag.

  “What did you bring?” I asked, my curiosity getting out of hand.

  All three of them froze and exchanged panicked glances.

  “Bring? Oh, you mean this.” William gestured toward the bag. “This is nothing.”

  “It looks a little heavy to be nothing,” I said, tapping a nail against my wine glass.

  “You’re right. It’s not nothing,” William amended. “It is, however, not something a woman with such delicate sensibilities should see.”

  “Now I’m more curious.”

  “I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious.” Robert threw a hand toward the entrance. “They need to get on their way.”

  There was something in that bag that these men didn’t want me to see. And from the worried looks they shared, it was something bad. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled as I stood and dropped my serviette onto the chair. “Show me what is in that bag.”

  Robert’s face paled. “It’s not for a lady—”

  With my hands on my hips, I stalked forward until I was within arm’s reach of the bag. “Show me now.” If he refused, then I’d look for myself.

  Robert swore and nodded to William. Gary rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as William set the bag onto the ground and untied the string cinching the top together.

  The metallic stench of blood invaded my nostrils. At the bottom of the bag was the head of a black horse with one of its yellow eyes gouged out.

  Not a horse.

  A pooka.

  Bile burned the back of my throat. I pressed a hand to my mouth to keep my dinner from splattering all over the gleaming tiles.

  These men had killed a pooka.

  Robert caught me by the elbow. “I warned you, didn’t I? But you just had to keep pushing.” He settled me onto a chair and pushed the wine glass into my hand.

  The other men looked appropriately concerned.

  “Why did you kill him?”

  “Life on this side of the island isn’t as peaceful as it is on the east coast,” William said, words tumbling out of him as he wrung his hands together. “Creatures run rampant around these parts, milady.”

  “Run rampant? They’re not wild animals.”

  “This one tried to eat poor Tommy O’Brien,” Gary said, gesturing toward the bag.

  Pooka didn’t eat people. “They’re vegetarians.”

  “Excuse me?” Gary glanced at his friends, then back to me.

  “Pooka. They’re vegetarians. It means they don’t eat meat.”

  “I know what it means.” He rubbed his neck and kept looking to his silent friends for support, his face growing redder and redder. “But how do you know that?”

  “Because I’ve met one.”

  They backed up a step, whispering to each other and taking turns casting furtive glances my way.

  I took a drink of wine to try and settle my stomach. Then my gaze landed on that burlap sack and my stomach roiled all over again.

  If I stayed in this room another minute, I was going to get sick.

  I stood and wobbled unsteadily past Robert and his friends. When I reached the base of the stairs, I gripped the railing to keep from collapsing. By the time I made it to the hallway at the top, Robert had caught up to me.

  “What was that down there?” he hissed, hands fisted at his side. “Were you trying to make me look a fool in front of my friends?”

  Hold on. He thought I was the problem?

  “You think this is my fault? They murdered someone, and you’re condoning their lawless behavior.”

  “Lawless behavior?” he scoffed, looking at me as though I’d sprouted a third eye. “You of all people should be happy there’s one less monster lurking on this island. That pooka has been seen prowling around our neighborhood the last few nights. None of us were safe until it was dead.”

  My stomach sank to my toes, and I grabbed for the railing. “He was caught in this neighborhood?”

  Robert nodded.

  Oh god.

  What if the pooka they’d killed had been Ruairi?

  The fire crackling in the hearth may as well have been a match in a
bloody snowstorm for all the warmth it gave. I’d added two lumps of coal when I’d escaped into my bedroom three hours earlier, but it hadn’t helped. Robert had come to check on me, but I hadn’t bothered answering when he knocked. I didn’t want to talk to Robert. I wanted to talk to Tadhg.

  I sank onto the coarse rug in front of the fire and held my hands toward the flames. I could’ve been sitting in the middle of the thing and still been cold.

  What if Ruairi was dead?

  He’d been so kind to me. And he was Tadhg’s best friend.

  What would Tadhg do when he found out?

  “Tadhg?” My voice carried through the silent bedchamber. I tugged my shift down to cover my frozen toes and wrapped my arms around my knees, attempting to hold myself together. “Tadhg? Are you there?”

  What was I doing? He couldn’t hear me. And even if he could, he wouldn’t come to my aid after I’d turned him down. We’d left things so badly, I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen now. The annulment was a pointless formality at this stage so we could start for Tearmann tomorrow. No, no. We couldn’t even do that. I had the bloody party to go to tomorrow night.

  We could still leave Saturday, assuming Tadhg bothered to show up.

  Assuming he didn’t abandon me out of spite.

  I pulled the cursed emerald from my finger to ensure the black band was still there. “Where are you, Tadhg?”

  There was a soft thump from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to find a prince in scuffed black boots standing in the shadows. “What is it?” Tadhg blurted, spinning as if searching for an invisible threat. “What’s wrong?”

  I jumped to my feet and threw my arms around his neck. He stumbled backward with a muttered curse. Strong hands fell to my waist, holding me against him.

  “It’s awful.” Tears seeped into his soft white shirt. “I’m so sorry. So sorry.”

  “What’s awful?” The question rumbled through his chest. “Tell me what happened.”