A Cursed Kiss (Myths of Airren Book 1)

by Jenny Hickman

  “Robert’s friends showed up. I think they killed Ruairi,” I sniffed, rubbing my nose with my sleeve. “I mean, I don’t know if it was him, but I’m afraid it was. And if it wasn’t, then they killed some other poor pooka, and I’m so sorry, Tadhg. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

  Tadhg pulled away, cupped my face in his hands, and bent so we were eye-to-eye. There should’ve been rage in his eyes. They should have been narrowed and black, not clear and green. Where was the anger and hatred of my people—of me? Did he not hear what I’d said?

  “First,” he said, “Ruairi is fine. There’s no fear for him, all right? Second, there is no need to apologize because you did nothing wrong.”

  “I’m one of them. Isn’t that wrong enough?” It felt wrong. It felt shameful.

  “You’re human, but you’re not one of them.”

  It was the same thing, wasn’t it?

  “I know better than to judge an entire population based on the actions of a few.” His thumbs stroked my cheeks, wiping away the tumbling tears. “This isn’t a rare occurrence. My people have been persecuted for centuries. There is risk involved for those of us who choose to live outside of Tearmann. Everyone knows that, including the pooka they killed.”

  Knowing didn’t make it any better. Didn’t solve the problem.

  I scrubbed at my eyes until the skin beneath was sore. I was such a bloody disaster. My heart and head were wrecked from being pulled and dragged in so many different directions. Between humans and Danú. Between Tadhg and Robert.

  “You’re sure it wasn’t Ruairi?” I asked.

  “Positive.” Tadhg’s hands fell away from my face. “Ruairi spent the evening with me. We had to get Marina’s body to the castle,” he said quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor.

  Marina. The woman he’d killed. No, the woman who had kissed him against his will.

  I had begged Robert to bring me up the coast when we left the city, but he’d refused. I’d explained that a woman had passed away, leaving behind helpless children, and that I wanted to help. Robert said I was too caring and that there were too many ruffians on the coast. He’d refused to jeopardize my safety.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said about her children,” Tadhg said with a wince. “So, we went to her cottage and . . . It was bad. So much worse than I’d imagined.”

  My chest began to ache. “Tell me.”

  He raised his head slightly, glancing at me from beneath his dark lashes. “It’ll upset you.”

  I was already upset. I should’ve fought harder to find them. Stood my ground. Threatened to go on my own without Robert. But I had given in to avoid an argument because it had been easier. Because to be with the man I thought I loved, I needed to be a placid, obedient wife.

  “Tell me anyway.”

  He bit his lip, leaving an indentation in the center. “They’d been locked in the shed with the pigs,” he said. “The eldest one had a black eye. They were nothing more than skin and bones, freezing and covered in filth. I couldn’t just leave them there to be beaten again when their father came home. So . . .” Tadhg grimaced. “We may have stolen them.”

  I stepped away to get a better look at his face. “You stole children.”

  Tadhg refused to meet my eyes, instead looking past me, into the dying fire. “Technically, Ruairi did. I just took a pig.”

  “A pig?” Was that what he’d said? I mustn’t have been as sober as I thought.

  Tadhg nodded. “The little boy seemed overly fond of a runt and wouldn’t come with us unless the pig came too. Now they’re with some friends who live on the edge of the Black Forest. They don’t have much, but they are good, kind people.”

  I had been sitting on my ass in Robert’s warm, comfortable townhome, filling my belly with dinner that had been prepared for me while the Crown Prince of Tearmann was out kidnapping children and pigs.

  He’d been helping humans while Robert’s friends had been slaughtering a pooka.

  Tadhg sighed, looking worn and weary from the weight of his burdens. “Look,” he said, “I am dreadfully sorry for the way I treated you earlier. You’d think at this stage I’d be used to not getting what I want, but for a moment, I saw a light at the end of this long, miserable tunnel and thought it was within my grasp. I never should have suggested we stay married. No one deserves that kind of punishment. And I shouldn’t have asked you to kill me when Rían will be more than happy to do it when I get home.”

  I couldn’t say it was all right, because it wasn’t. No one deserved to have such hateful words spat at them. But I understood his desperation. “I forgive you. For everything.”

  His eyebrows drew together, and his lips turned down as he searched my face. “You do?”

  I nodded.

  “You forgive me,” he repeated, his tone rife with disbelief. “That’s it? You have no requests or bargains? You don’t desire reparation?”

  “Padraig always said true forgiveness is freely given.”

  Forgiveness wasn’t a commodity to be bought and paid for. Forgiveness was a matter of the heart. A matter of choosing love over hate. Forgiveness was a release. Forgiveness was freedom.

  Tadhg’s shoulders rose and fell when he sighed. “Padraig was a good man.”

  “Yes, he was.” Padraig had been the best kind of man.

  Silence fell between us. The longer it stretched, the more uncomfortable it became. I wanted to fill it, but what should I say?

  “I’m . . . um . . . I’m going to go.” Tadhg backed toward the window, like he wasn’t quite ready to turn his back. Wasn’t quite ready to leave.

  I wasn’t quite ready to let him go. “How did you know I needed you?”

  The corner of his lips crooked into a guilty half-smile. “I may or may not have been sitting in the back garden.”

  My gaze flicked to the firelight reflecting in the dark windowpane. “You were sitting in the garden?”

  The smile widened to a grin. “I said may or may not.”

  He truly was incorrigible. “If you happened to be sitting in the garden, what would you have been doing there?”

  He shrugged again, this time tucking his thumbs into the belt loops on his breeches. “I would’ve been making sure a vengeful witch didn’t murder my wife in her sleep.”

  Always looking out for me. Even when he was angry. Even when I didn’t deserve it.

  “Careful, now. I may start believing you actually care about me.”

  “That would be disastrous,” he said with a chuckle, slowly backing toward the window. “Could you imagine the scandal? I have a terrible reputation to uphold.”

  He didn’t deny it.

  I love you too.

  My stomach fluttered at the thought. I stepped forward, having the sudden urge to erase the distance between us. “It would only be worse if I believed you loved me.”

  His backward steps faltered. “You’re right. That would be far worse.”

  I moved closer, wishing his face wasn’t veiled by shadows. “Because you don’t,” I said, needing to hear his outright denial so the fluttering in my stomach would stop. So the heat blooming in my chest would cease.

  Tadhg’s back collided with the window, rattling the glass. “Don’t what?”

  “Love me.”

  His eyes widened. “Don’t be absurd. I’ve only known you for a few weeks.”

  Still not an answer.

  I stopped a breath away. His ragged exhales tangled with mine. Heat from his body burned hotter than the fire crackling behind me. “I want to hear you say it. Say you don’t love me.”

  He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

  I couldn’t hear anything over my pounding heart. “Go on. It’s easy. Four little words: I don’t love you.”

  “I—Shit.” He licked his lips and winced. “I don’t—” He swore again and dashed his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends. Then his hands dropped. Green eyes met mine. Tadhg took a deep breath and said, “I do. I
love you.”

  He loved me. How? When? Why?

  When I reached for Tadhg, my fingertips met frigid glass.

  Tadhg was gone.

  27

  Love.

  Four letters capable of changing your life.

  One solitary syllable powerful enough to alter the world.

  I braced my hands on the windowsill, trying to process what had just happened.

  I do. I love you.

  What did this mean?

  Nothing.

  Tadhg’s love meant nothing because it wasn’t true love. True love happened over the course of years, not a handful of days. True love couldn’t grow from seeds of hate.

  Tadhg was obviously confused about what was between us. All he had to do was believe something was true and he could say it aloud. He simply believed he loved me. That’s all this was.

  A misunderstanding.

  I dragged the ring from my finger to make sure the tattoo was still there, and that Tadhg hadn’t gone straight to Rían and asked him to end his life. To end our marriage and set me free.

  I didn’t love Tadhg. How could I? “I love Ro—” An invisible mallet drove an invisible spike into my skull. “I love Ro—” I stumbled away from the window and caught myself on the bedpost to keep from falling face-first onto the floorboards.

  I loved Robert. It wasn’t a lie. I loved Robert.

  Robert, with his kind hazel eyes.

  Robert, with his bland smile.

  Robert, with his comfort and familiarity and . . .

  Dammit! I loved Robert.

  Robert.

  Robert.

  Robert.

  His name became my lifeline as I sprinted for the door. The drafty air in the dark hallway left gooseflesh on my bare ankles. I stopped outside Robert’s door, needing to talk to him. To see him. To figure out what the hell was going on with my brain. It had to be some sort of mistake. Or a spell! That’s what it was. Tadhg had put me under a spell.

  Before my hand connected with the wood, I heard a sound.

  Whispering.

  The hallway was empty. Who was whispering?

  Wait.

  The sounds were coming from inside Robert’s bedroom.

  There was another noise.

  A feminine giggle.

  My heart hammered against my ribs, and my head spun with possibilities. There was no reason for a woman to be in Robert’s room at this hour. Unless . . .

  A moan.

  My hand fell to the cold brass handle, and I threw the door aside.

  Springy red curls fell down a woman’s bare back where she straddled Robert on the bed. Robert’s eyes were closed, his head thrown back against the black tufted headboard. The door crashed against the wall.

  His eyes flew open and landed on me. “Shit.”

  He shoved the woman off him and onto the rumpled sheets. She let out an indignant squeak and dragged the quilt to cover herself, but nothing could hide what they’d been doing.

  “This isn’t what it looks like,” he blurted, turning away to hike up and fasten his breeches. The girl covered her face with her hands, but it was too late. I’d already recognized Daisy. Robert was screwing his bloody maid.

  Numbness slowed my heart until it barely beat, spreading through my chest and into my limbs, leaving me with nothing. No heat as I turned woodenly back toward my bedroom. No emotion as I walked forward. Nothing.

  “Dammit, Keelynn,” Robert shouted. I didn’t bother turning toward his thumping footsteps. “Stop and listen to me for one bloody minute, will you?”

  My feet stilled the moment I crossed the threshold into my room. “You said you loved me.” The words held no inflection. No feeling. “And yet you’re sleeping with her.”

  No wonder my curse hadn’t been broken. Robert didn’t love me. Had he ever?

  “This isn’t about love.” He caught me by the elbow, forcing me to face him. His hair was mussed by someone else’s fingers. His lips swollen from someone else’s kisses. His bare chest marked by someone else’s nails. “Once we marry, I will send her away.”

  There was a gasp from the hallway. Tears filled Daisy’s wide eyes and her hand flew to her gaping mouth.

  “Oh, please. Don’t look so shocked.” Robert waved a dismissive hand at Daisy’s wrinkled dress and disheveled hair. “You’re a bloody maid. What did you think I was going to do? Marry you?”

  Daisy stumbled for the staircase, her sobs growing louder and louder until the front door slammed and silence descended on the townhouse. I wrenched my arm free of Robert’s grasp. Nothing he said would heal this wound. This was the end of us.

  “Look, I’m sorry you found out,” he said, folding his arms across his bare chest.

  Sparks of indignation flared against the numbness. He wasn’t sorry for sleeping with her, only that I had caught him. And if I hadn’t, he probably would’ve kept on with the affair even after we’d exchanged vows.

  Exhaling a frustrated breath, Robert pinched the bridge of his nose and started speaking like I was an imbecile. Like I didn’t know the way the world worked. “Keelynn, you must understand that a man has needs—”

  “And a woman doesn’t?” My voice shook. To hell with men and their bloody needs. He was perfectly capable of saying no if he wanted to. The problem was that he felt entitled to take and take without a second thought. “What if that had been me? What if you’d walked in on me in bed with someone else? What then?”

  His eyes narrowed. “It’s not the same thing.”

  “You’re right. It’s not. I got caught kissing someone at a ball and was forced to marry him. You can screw whoever you want and have absolutely no consequences!”

  “That’s right.” His mouth twisted into a sneer. “I can.”

  Who was this monster and what had he done with the man I had loved for so long? Had that Robert ever existed? Or had this one been living inside him the entire time, pulling his strings like a bloody marionette?

  I wanted him out. Out of my room, my life, my head, and my heart.

  When I shoved against his chest, he didn’t budge. “Get out of my room.”

  He stalked forward, sending me back and back until my legs connected with the solid footboard. “This is my house, and I will go wherever I damn well please.” His gaze dropped to my heaving chest and a strange smile twisted his lips.

  Panic squeezed my lungs, making it nearly impossible to say, “Get. Out.”

  He twisted my hair in his fist. Stinging pain exploded from my scalp when he dragged me against him, rattling my teeth. “Make me.”

  He tried to force his mouth against mine, but I fought against the pain of his grip and turned my face away so that his lips landed on my jaw.

  Make me.

  I was too weak.

  Make me.

  Robert was too strong.

  Make me.

  But I knew someone stronger.

  “Tadhg!”

  All of a sudden, the pain disappeared. Robert let go and stumbled back. “What the hell are you doing?”

  I shouted his name again, praying that he was close enough to hear, trying not to think of what would happen if he wasn’t.

  “Stop it. Stop it this instant—” Robert’s head whipped toward the window, and his face paled.

  “I believe the lady asked you to get out of her room,” said a dark voice from the shadows. Sweet, almond-scented magic filled my nostrils, tickling my skin.

  Robert backed toward the door. His face contorted with rage when his gaze met mine. “You have the nerve to give me shit over Daisy when you’ve been rutting with this monster behind my back?”

  Tadhg’s chuckle sent ice through my blood.

  I moved closer to where he stood, shrouded by darkness, green eyes narrowed and glowing.

  “You know what? I don’t give a shit. She’s a bloody prude anyway. I hope you enjoy her. I know I certainly did.”

  Fire engulfed my neck and cheeks. Tears stung the backs of my eyes. Did his cruelty
know no bounds?

  Tadhg evanesced and caught Robert by the throat, slamming him against the wall. Robert’s eyes bulged; his face turned red as he spluttered and scraped at Tadhg’s hand.

  This time, I didn’t stop him.

  “You’ve always said that I was too much for you,” I said. Too naïve. Too reckless. Too young. Too kind. I stepped forward so I could see the panic in his wild eyes. “I’m not too much, Robert. You were never enough.”

  I deserved someone who would fight for me. Someone who loved me enough to remain faithful. Someone willing to put my needs above his own.

  I put a hand on Tadhg’s shoulder and squeezed. “Let him go. He’s not worth it.”

  Tadhg released his hold, and Robert collapsed into a wheezing, pathetic heap on the floor. If I’d had my boots on, I would’ve kicked him in the ribs.

  “I want you out of my bloody house,” he rasped, holding his throat as he dragged in choked gasps. “Both of you.”

  Like I wanted to stay in this place for another second anyway. I crossed to the armoire and pulled the first dress from the hanger. As soon as I got dressed—

  “Oh no you don’t,” Robert ground out. “I bought those dresses. They belong to me, and if you take them, I’ll report you for theft and demand you be thrown into jail.”

  Tadhg flicked his wrist, and I was no longer in my shift but in a gorgeous mauve day gown with lace cuffs and a pair of matching slippers. Robert’s expression turned murderous, but he didn’t try to stand or say anything more when Tadhg took my hand and led me into the hallway. My heavy footsteps click click clicked as we descended, and I collected my cloak from the coat hook at the entrance. The night was crisp and cold, moisture clinging to the air like it could rain at any moment.

  Tadhg threw open the garden gate and turned toward the faint amber glow of the city.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, sounding empty and hollow. Although I clutched my cloak closed, it did little to stave off the chill. The coldness came from inside me

  “Tonight, we’ll stay in the city,” Tadhg said quietly, scanning the path ahead. “And in the morning, we’ll leave for Tearmann.”

  There was no longer any point in delaying the final leg of our journey. I should’ve been elated, but the joy of seeing my sister again was eclipsed by all that had just happened.