The Secret Ingredient

by Dianne Blacklock

  Andie woke with a start. Her phone was ringing and she reached for it on the bedside table, but it wasn’t there. She blinked rapidly, waiting for her eyes to adjust. The apartment was in darkness, the blinds rattling wildly against the window frames, and she was lying sprawled across the bed, stark-naked.

  The phone stopped ringing, followed almost immediately by a knock at the door. ‘Andie, it’s me, Dominic,’ she heard from the other side. ‘Are you there?’

  Everything flooded back, Ross, the hospital, the drive home in the heat . . . When she had finally stepped out of the shower it was still so hot in the apartment she couldn’t stand to put on any clothes, or even to dry herself, so she had lain down on her towel on the bed to wait for the storm . . . and had obviously fallen into a very deep sleep.

  Andie pulled herself upright. ‘Just give me a minute, Dominic,’ she called, giving her head a shake to clear the cobwebs. She turned on the bedside light so she could see, and spotted her bathrobe at the end of the bed, hastily slipping it on as she scooted over to the windows to pull them shut. The blinds sagged and were finally still. Andie tied the sash of her robe firmly around her waist as she turned for the door. ‘Coming!’ She gave her hair a shake, it was still damp. She must look a sight.

  She opened the door and Dominic was standing there, a tentative smile on his face. She was so very glad to see that face.

  ‘Were you sleeping?’ he said. ‘I’m sorry. I knocked for a while, when there was no answer I thought maybe you were back at the hospital, so I rang your mobile.’

  ‘Oh, that was you?’

  ‘I could hear it ringing, so I knew you had to be inside. I didn’t mean to disturb you.’

  ‘Oh, no, Dominic, you’re not disturbing me, really,’ said Andie.

  ‘But maybe I should let you get back to sleep?’

  ‘No, please, come in.’

  ‘All right, just for a minute.’

  Andie closed the door behind him as he walked inside. She was so happy to see him she had to restrain herself from jumping straight into his arms. She really hoped he’d stay longer than a minute.

  He turned around and held up a bag. ‘I thought you might not have eaten, so I brought you some food.’

  All right, that was it, her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t want him to think she was crying for Ross, although that was probably partly true, but it was so much more that she couldn’t begin to explain . . .

  ‘Andie?’

  ‘Thank you for the food . . .’ A sob caught in her throat, she tried to swallow it down but it was no use. Dominic set the bag on the kitchen bench and came over to her, gathering her in his arms and holding her close.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she whimpered into his chest. ‘I’m just feeling very overwhelmed.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said tenderly. ‘Do you want me to go?’

  ‘No,’ she looked up at him. ‘Do you have to be somewhere?’

  He shook his head. ‘Why do you ask?’

  ‘You said you’d only come in for a minute.’

  ‘I didn’t want to impose.’

  ‘You’re so not imposing.’

  He smiled faintly. ‘Then I’ll stay as long as you want me to.’ He drew her close again. ‘Is there anything I can do?’

  She sighed. ‘Just this, what you’re doing right now.’

  He tightened his arms around her, planting a kiss on the top of the head. ‘Well, I can do this . . . for a very long time.’

  An hour later Dominic was still holding her, spooned into her back as they lay on the bed, facing the window. The storm had finally hit and there was rain sheeting across the window.

  ‘Do you remember when you told me that you didn’t believe in fate?’ Andie asked him.

  ‘Hm,’ he murmured next to her ear. ‘I think I said I wasn’t sure . . . Why?’

  She sighed. ‘I keep thinking, if I hadn’t run out of the restaurant that night, I might never have discovered that Ross was having an affair, and it might not have amounted to anything, and it might have even been over by now.’

  Dominic rested his chin on her shoulder. ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘It’s just, without that one little twist of fate, I would be entirely responsible for Ross now. I feel almost guilty, like I dodged a bullet that was meant for me.’

  ‘I really don’t understand how you could feel guilty, or responsible.’

  Andie turned over to lie on her back, looking up at him. ‘Ross is still my husband, I am actually legally responsible for him, I discovered today. So maybe I haven’t dodged a bullet after all. Maybe instead I’m being punished.’

  ‘What for?’ Dominic frowned. ‘You’re not making a lot of sense, Andie. If anyone’s being punished, isn’t it more likely to be Ross, considering he’s the one who has been cheating on everybody, and he’s the one lying there in the hospital bed?’

  ‘I guess.’ She sighed. ‘The thing is, Ross always maintained that he wanted me back, and I said I could never trust him again. But even so, I wasn’t really prepared to give it a try.’

  Dominic was staring intently at her. ‘Andie, are you having second thoughts about this . . . about us?’

  ‘No,’ she insisted. ‘Not at all.’ She wanted to tell him he was the only thing she was sure about, the only thing that made sense right now. But was that too much? She didn’t want to jinx it, or put any pressure on him. They were supposed to be going with the flow, no complications. So much for that. Andie felt as though her life was hanging in a very delicate balance. One false move . . .

  She stroked his arm. ‘Don’t mind me,’ she said. ‘I was brought up Catholic, guilt is my default response.’

  Wednesday

  Dominic stayed the night with her, but he left early to go home and change for work. Andie waited until he was gone before she rang the hospital to check on Ross. She didn’t want to bring Dominic into this any more than she already had. He had been understanding beyond the call, but she didn’t want to test his patience.

  The nurse on the phone reported that Ross had had an uneventful night, and they were currently preparing him for his tests. Andie called Joanna to let her know.

  ‘I wasn’t sure whether they’d tell you much over the phone,’ she explained.

  ‘Thanks,’ said Joanna. ‘Actually, Lauren is going to clarify they are his kids, so that they’ll be kept informed as well. Should take some of the pressure off you.’

  That was something.

  ‘Be careful, Andie,’ she went on. ‘Don’t get sucked back in . . . You know, Ross made his own bed . . .’

  ‘I’ve already said those exact words to him,’ Andie assured her. ‘Are you going in to the hospital today, Joanna?’

  ‘No, I have to work,’ she said. ‘Lauren is coming over to pick up Brooke and Matty soon, they’ll go in together.’

  That put Andie’s mind at ease. There would be plenty of people around for Ross, he wouldn’t miss her. Besides, she had her own responsibilities. Dominic had assured her that yesterday was but a blip on the radar, and that Cosmo was expecting to begin her training today.

  Main meal prep meant handling a lot of meat. Quite a lot of meat. Andie spent the morning slicing, dicing, filleting, trimming, rolling, dressing, and – an old favourite – deboning. Preparing the very fiddly garnishes had really honed her skills with a knife, so once she got into a rhythm, Andie’s mind drifted. She wondered how Ross was doing today, what tests he was having, when his surgery would be scheduled. And most worrying, what was going to happen after that.

  But she didn’t stop all day; whenever there was a lull, Cosmo would take the opportunity to demonstrate another technique, or teach her about the cuts of meat they commonly used in the restaurant. So Andie didn’t get to check her phone until the staff dinner break in the late afternoon, only to find there were no messages. She briefly wondered if she should ring the hospital herself, but she resisted. No news is good news, and Andie did not need a progress report.

  Dinner serv
ice flew by in a blur; both sittings were fully booked, and there was a group in the larger private dining room – otherwise known as the VIP room, because anyone who could afford to book it had to be from the upper echelons. Andie was cleaning her work station when it occurred to her she hadn’t sighted Dominic for a while. She wondered if he’d gone home already, without saying goodbye . . .

  Cosmo turned around from the bench in front of her. ‘Andie, you should finish up and go home.’

  She surveyed the kitchen; there were still waitstaff hanging around, so that meant there were still diners in the restaurant. ‘Are you sure? Isn’t there anything else I can do?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’m going to have to stay for a while anyway. There’s a group of mining execs in the VIP room, they’ve just ordered a forty-year-old Cognac and invited Chef to join them. I think it’s going to be a long night,’ he said. ‘You should get out of here. You’ve had a big day, you must be tired.’

  Andie was tired, but when she got home, she felt oddly restless. She really wished she had got to see Dominic before she left, just to make sure they were still all right. Besides, she missed him. What a wuss she was turning out to be.

  She finally forced herself to switch off the TV that she wasn’t even watching, turn off the lights and get into bed. Then her phone rang. She switched on the bedside lamp and picked it up. She felt her heart jump when she saw it was Dominic.

  ‘I didn’t wake you, did I?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I was only just going to bed.’

  ‘Well, I’m only just leaving work, I’m calling you from the car. I couldn’t get away from the VIP room.’

  ‘How was it?’

  ‘The usual, they were all drunk and fawning. But they just wouldn’t leave. The attitude of entitlement people seem to have when they throw money around . . . I hate keeping the waitstaff late on a weeknight.’

  Andie smiled. He was a decent boss, no wonder the staff were so loyal to him.

  ‘Cosmo said you did well today,’ he went on.

  ‘Oh, that’s good, he’s a wonderful teacher.’

  ‘So, any news from the hospital?’

  ‘No, but I’m sure everything must be fine. I was too busy to worry about it today.’ That was only a very little lie, hardly a lie at all.

  ‘Well, I just wanted to say goodnight,’ said Dominic.

  Andie would have loved to ask him over, but it was late, and she didn’t want to sound needy. Definitely not needy. She couldn’t expect the man to keep dropping everything to be at her beck and call.

  ‘Goodnight, Dominic.’

  ‘Sleep well.’

  Thursday

  In fact Andie slept like the proverbial log until the phone rang at seven, waking her. Who rings at seven o’clock in the morning? Her eyes were too bleary to focus on the screen of the phone, but if it was anyone she knew their name would have come up in letters big enough for her to read. Then she had a sick feeling. She quickly cleared her throat and answered the phone.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Mrs Corcoran?’

  ‘Um . . . yes?’

  ‘It’s Dr Jorgenson, we met briefly the other day.’

  ‘Yes, of course. Is Ross okay, did something happen?’

  ‘No, he’s doing really well, actually. We’re waiting on a couple more test results but we’re not expecting any surprises. I’m booking him in for surgery tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh. So soon?’

  ‘The sooner the better,’ he said. ‘Someone will call you today to confirm the time.’

  Why, Andie wanted to say. Why was he even calling her in the first place?

  ‘I want to assure you that your husband will be fine, Mrs Corcoran.’

  Oh, that was why. Andie pictured her name printed in clear, block letters under ‘next of kin’.

  ‘It is heart surgery, as I explained, but it’s routine, and his indicators are all very good at present,’ he said. ‘All going well, he should be home after a couple of days.’

  ‘Really, that quickly?’

  ‘Patients do much better out of the hospital and in their own homes. It can place more of a burden on the family looking after them, perhaps, but usually they’re happy to have them home as well. There will be some things you will have to be aware of regarding his post-operative care. But I’ll explain more about that after his surgery tomorrow.’

  So that meant he expected to see her there. ‘Okay. Thanks for the call, Doctor,’ she said, hanging up the phone. She supposed she didn’t mind being there, she’d certainly want to know that Ross was all right. So she just had to hope the surgery would be scheduled for early in the morning. She was going to have to coordinate with the kids, so that someone was there at least, if she couldn’t hang around. And of course, there was always Tasha. For now, Andie had to get to work and focus; tomorrow, she might have to ask for some leeway.

  It was another nonstop day at the restaurant and Andie was unable to check her phone again until the late afternoon. There were a couple of missed calls; one from hospital administration, with details of Ross’s surgery. It was scheduled for seven in the morning, she was glad to hear. The other call was from Brooke, with a rather plaintive request to call her back.

  ‘Hi, Brooke, what’s up?’ Andie asked when she picked up.

  ‘I was just wondering if you’re going to visit Dad today?’

  ‘I can’t, honey, I’m at work.’

  ‘Oh . . .’

  ‘Is there something wrong?’

  ‘He’s just a little down. He was upset that he didn’t see you at all yesterday.’

  Andie sighed. ‘But he knows I had to go to work, I told him.’

  ‘He thought you might come after work.’

  Ross never did get restaurant hours. ‘Brooke, I don’t finish until ten, or later. But look, I was going to call you anyway. I don’t know if you heard, but his surgery’s been scheduled for seven in the morning.’

  ‘Yeah, they came and told Dad.’

  ‘Well, you can tell him I’m coming in first thing to see him before he goes into theatre.’

  ‘He’ll be so happy,’ said Brooke, relieved.

  ‘But I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay afterwards,’ said Andie. ‘It depends how long the surgery takes. So at least one of you should plan to be there.’

  ‘I think that’ll be too early for Lauren with the baby. But I don’t start work until after lunch tomorrow, and I’ll see what Matty’s up to. He’s got a job for the holidays too, but it’s only casual.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Andie. ‘And look, unless you particularly want to see your father before he goes into theatre, you won’t have to get to the hospital till about nine. I doubt you’ll be able to see him before that, at least.’

  She heard a tap on the door and turned around. Dominic was standing in the doorway.

  ‘Listen, Brooke, I have to go, okay?’

  ‘No worries, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  Andie hung up the phone.

  ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked.

  She swallowed. ‘I’m on a break, Cosmo said it was okay —’

  ‘Andie, I’m not checking up on you,’ he said. ‘You can make personal calls on your own phone during your break without answering to me.’

  She smiled faintly. He was leaning against the doorjamb, and he kept glancing down the corridor.

  ‘Are you on lookout or something?’ she asked him.

  ‘Yes, actually, I am,’ he said seriously.

  ‘Oh, right.’ Andie put her phone back in her locker and walked across the room towards him.

  ‘I’m only trying to keep you happy,’ he explained. ‘Be discreet.’

  ‘I see, this is just to keep me happy?’

  ‘Well, it certainly isn’t for me,’ he said, his eyes trained down the corridor. ‘What would make me happy right now would be to lock this door and have my way with you.’

  She grinned. ‘Just exactly what is involved in “having your way with me”?’
>
  He glanced at her then, and Andie could see the glint in his eyes. ‘It’s hard to explain, I really have to show you.’

  She had a sudden mental flash of Dominic having his way with her up against the lockers . . . She felt a little light-headed.

  ‘So I was thinking,’ he went on, ‘it’s a normal service tonight, no private parties, so I should be able to get away on time.’ He looked down the corridor again. ‘Perhaps you’d like to come back to my place . . . I could make pancakes again . . . I think you said they were orgasmic the other night.’

  ‘I don’t think I was talking about the pancakes.’

  He gave her a look that could best be described as smouldering. It was those dark eyes. She was picturing them in his kitchen, feeding each other pancakes and stumbling their way back up the stairs to bed to make love again . . . and waking up with him in the morning . . .

  ‘Oh bugger.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Dominic turned to look at her.

  Andie sighed. ‘Ross’s operation is scheduled for seven tomorrow morning, I said I’d be there before he went into theatre.’

  He nodded. ‘Of course, no problem.’

  ‘We could still have pancakes tonight?’

  He was staring down at the floor. ‘It might be safer for you to go straight home, you know, with such an early start.’

  Andie pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling. She felt bitterly disappointed . . . or bitter with disappointment, more likely.

  ‘Can I have a raincheck?’ she asked.

  ‘Absolutely. So I take it you’ll be late to work tomorrow?’