The Kiss List

by Sara Jo Cluff

  I threw the grape at her nose. “He is that great, and it’s not so much that other girls will be asking him, it’s that I know he’d ask anyone just to avoid me asking him.”

  Garrett lowered the massive sandwich that had almost made it to his mouth. The guy could eat a surprising amount of food, but he needed the calories. He was always in motion, playing sports or working out. “If he doesn’t like you, why do you want to go with him?”

  Kaitlyn rolled her eyes and pushed him on the arm. She had her curly hair down, falling around her shoulders like an exotic waterfall. “He does like her. He’s just being stupid.”

  “They’d go perfect together,” Hayley said. “Like pickles and peanut butter.”

  Kaitlyn gagged, ruining her exotic charm. “That’s a terrible combination.”

  Mason grinned and wrapped his arm around Hayley. “To most people, yeah, but it’s her favorite.” He kissed her on the cheek. She acted nonchalant about it, but excitement danced in her eyes. The knowing smile from Kaitlyn told me she noticed it as well. I loved seeing them both so happy.

  I tapped the table. “We’re getting off topic here. I need a clever way to ask him to Homecoming. A way he can’t say no to.”

  Kaitlyn placed her hand over her heart, the charms on her bracelet clinking together. “Or a way for him to realize his undying love for Cam-I-Am.”

  Her use of his nickname for me made me more determined than ever. I wanted to hear him say it again. I’d once hated it, but now I kind of liked it.

  “Why can’t you just go up to him and say, ‘Hey, you wanna go to Homecoming with me?’” Garrett leaned his folded arms on the table. We all turned to him, and he pulled back his long neck in surprise. “What?”

  Kaitlyn held up her index finger, her charm bracelet sliding down her arm. “First off, you better be thinking of an amazingly creative way to ask me.” She held up another finger. “If Camille asks him flat-out like that, he’ll say no.”

  I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from my backpack. “I need to make a list of all the things he loves.” Caramel popcorn, horror movies, and Dr Pepper were on top of the list.

  The bench shifted next to me as someone sat down. I looked up to see Brady straddling the bench. He stared down at my list. “This looks like a Liam list.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Is this a Liam list?”

  I nodded, pushing my bag of grapes closer to him. “I’m trying to think of a way to ask him to Homecoming. I thought it would be best to start with the things he loves.”

  Brady pointed to the paper before he grabbed a handful of grapes. “Add Stranger Things. He’s been binge-watching the series. Again.”

  “Me, too!” I added it to the list. We could have been binge-watching the show together, but Liam had to go and be stubborn.

  “Bocce ball,” Brady said.

  “Bocce ball?” Hayley had her red eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. She wasn’t one to play outdoor sports or sports in general. She stuck to the music scene.

  “It’s a yard game.” I wrote it down on the paper. I smiled, remembering the shirt he’d worn to summer camp.

  Brady juggled his last three grapes, his gaze on super focus. “The guy is obsessed lately. He wants to start a bocce ball league and do competitions and everything. I told him the school probably wouldn’t get on board with that.”

  “Why not?” Garrett asked, scratching Kaitlyn’s back. “They have clubs for everything. Why not a bocce ball club?”

  I snapped my fingers. “I could start a bocce ball club. In his name, of course. I’ll just get the ball rolling.” I laughed at my pun but stopped short when I noticed I was the only one. Liam would have laughed.

  “We could have a bocce ball together at Homecoming,” Kaitlyn said in a haughty tone. When everyone snickered, I put my hand on my hip.

  “Really? That got a laugh?” I asked.

  Hayley shrugged. “Hers was just real cheesy.”

  Kaitlyn slapped her on the arm. “It was brilliant.”

  I stared at the paper. There were so many things to work with. I could get Liam a basket of things he likes and say I’d be a basket case if he didn’t go to Homecoming with me. Or I could somehow work Stranger Things into the question. I could make a creative poster for it.

  A sly grin spread across my face. I would find a way to make Liam say yes, whether he liked it or not.

  Chapter 40

  Mom helped me put together a basket full of goodies for Liam when she got home from work. We made caramel popcorn—and consumed as much as we gave away—using our family recipe that was a hit every holiday season.

  I stuffed the basket full of Twix, Rolos, and Caramellos. Then I lined the outer area with Dr Pepper. I made my mom write out the letter since she had way better penmanship than me. She wrote exactly what I’d thought of: I’ll be a basket case if you don’t go to Homecoming with me. I signed my name in the scribbly way he always made fun of in elementary school.

  Together, my mom and I drove over to his house, and I set the basket on the front porch. I rang the doorbell, and then sprinted toward the car. I’d left the passenger door open so I could just slip on in.

  “Hurry!” Mom hissed as I ran toward her.

  I hopped in the car and slammed the door. “Go! Go! Go!”

  She took off down the street, and then rounded back so we could sneak a peak of Liam’s reaction from far away.

  Only, his dad answered the door. He picked up the basket, stuffed a Rolo bar into his pocket, and shut the door.

  I slumped in my seat. “Now I’ll have to wait to see what he says.”

  Mom reached over and patted my arm. “I’m sure he’ll be calling any second now. He would be crazy to turn you down. I mean, that’s homemade caramel popcorn in there.”

  I grinned at her. “He’d be stupid to say no after that.”

  We left Liam’s street, and I smiled the whole way home. As the night dragged on, the smile slowly fell off my face. I checked my phone dozens of times. I scoped out social media to see if he’d uploaded a picture or tagged me in anything.

  Nothing.

  It took forever to fall asleep that night. My eyes were like lead weights the next morning, but I forced myself up and to school. Liam was nowhere to be found. I know because I searched. Everywhere. By the time I got to the class we had together, I slumped in exhaustion.

  Liam was casually sitting in his seat, leaning so his elbow was resting on the back of his chair. And he didn’t look in my direction or give any indication that he’d received the best basket of his life. Maybe his dad hadn’t given it to him. I mean, he did pocket one of the candy bars. Maybe he stole the rest of it because it was so tasty.

  As soon as the bell rang to signal the end of class, I hopped from my seat and jogged over to Liam. “Hey, Liam!”

  “Hi.” He pushed out the door and down the hall.

  I hurried to catch up to him. “Get anything exciting yesterday?”

  “No.” He kept his eyes trained forward.

  Had his dad really kept the basket for himself? I did write Liam’s name on the card. It wasn’t like a first come, first serve basis with the gift.

  “Nothing was delivered to your house?”

  He finally looked at me, his blue eyes lacking emotion of any kind. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He took a Caramello bar out of his pocket, pulled back the wrapper, and took a huge bite. With a grin, he left me standing there, stunned.

  So, he had received the basket. And he was flat out refusing me.

  My cheeks burned hot as I glanced around the hall. Obviously, no one would know what had just happened, but I was still so embarrassed. How could he be that mad at me? Everyone else had forgiven me. The rumor mill had moved on to other people.

  Kaitlyn rounded the corner and spotted me. Her constant smile turned into a frown as she rushed to me, her long legs having her in front of me in no time. “What happened?”

  “It didn’t work.”

&
nbsp; She threw her arms around me. “I can’t believe he didn’t say yes. What’s wrong with him? He’s never been this stubborn before.”

  A little rational part of my brain said I was being stupid by trying so hard, but I didn’t want to give up quite yet.

  “I guess it’s time for round two,” I said.

  Chapter 41

  After school, Hayley and Kaitlyn came home with me so we could work on a poster. I drew the Stranger Things logo on top, taking my time so it looked halfway decent. Then I wrote: “In the newest season, Liam accepts Cam-I-Am’s Homecoming proposal. Stranger things have happened.” Underneath that I wrote: “Starring Liam Elliott and Camille Collins.” I also gave it a four-star review, saying it was “Breathtaking and unbelievably captivating. Critics are going wild.”

  I held the finished product up for my friends to see.

  Hayley snapped a picture with her phone. “He’d have to be an idiot to turn this one down. It screams Liam.”

  “You have to stay this time,” Kaitlyn said.

  My hands shook. I thought I’d just drop it off like the day before. “Why?”

  She stood, straightening out her jean shorts. “So you don’t have to wait for an answer.”

  “So he can’t say no to your face,” Hayley said, fiddling with a daith earring.

  My heart thudded in my chest. “What if he does say no?”

  “He won’t,” Kaitlyn said.

  At the same time, Hayley said, “Then we’ll go get a Dr Pepper slushy from the Fill-N-Go. The biggest size they have.” She smirked. “And maybe we can buy an extra one and chuck it at Liam’s car.”

  I made Kaitlyn drive so I wouldn’t have to. My stomach was clenched tight, my heartbeat so loud in my ears, it drowned out the blaring music. If Liam said no, there was no way I could drive after that. I wasn’t sure if I could handle another rejection from him.

  Kaitlyn left the engine running when she pulled along the curb in front of Liam’s house. I had the poster rolled up in my lap, my legs bouncing like crazy.

  Hayley leaned forward from the back seat. “You can do this, Camille. Just go ring the doorbell.”

  “You don’t even have to say anything,” Kaitlyn said. “Just hold up the sign.”

  Closing my eyes, I took lots of deep breaths, hoping to get my heart to settle down. When I was convinced that it wouldn’t, I forced myself out of the car and up the walk. My legs were like two thick sticks of putty on the verge of a complete meltdown.

  I was a warrior. I could do this.

  I applied some lip gloss real quick, and then put it back in my pocket. My trembling finger pushed the doorbell, and then I held the poster in my shaking hands. After thirty seconds—I counted—I knocked on the door. After another thirty seconds, I rang the doorbell again. Liam’s car was in the driveway. I knew he was there.

  Unless he’d gone somewhere with his family. I was about to walk away when the door swung open. Liam leaned against the doorway and munched on one of the Twix bars I’d given him.

  He lazily read my sign as I held it up for him to see. He threw his head back and swallowed the candy in his mouth. His attention went back to me. “I already have a date. Sorry.” He moved to close the door, but I finally found my voice.

  “What? Who?”

  Liam grinned. “I believe you met her. Sadie.”

  I placed a hand on my queasy stomach. Sadie? He asked her? “When did you ask her?”

  “Today.” He took another bite of his candy and put his hand on the door. “Can I shut this now, or are you just going to stand there all night?”

  I lowered the sign to my side. “Why are you being like this?”

  “Being like what?”

  I threw out my arm. “This arrogant jerk. What happened to the Liam I adore? The one who’d run secret missions with me, watch horror movies, and eat all the caramel popcorn we could find?”

  He shrugged. “He grew up and realized he lives in reality land, not fairytale land.” He huffed. “Listen, I’m just not into you like that. You need to learn to take a hint.”

  Licking my lips, I took a step back. “It’s funny that you got on my case for changing and losing the real me, yet you’ve gone and done the same thing.” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “I miss the old Liam. The one who would banter with me and make me feel better when I was having a bad day. I miss the guy I fell in love with.” I slapped my hand over my mouth, realizing what I had said.

  Liam finally dropped his bored look and replaced it with utter shock, the same emotion I was feeling.

  But I wouldn’t take it back. I had fallen in love with him. It had been a slow process, but in the end, he was the one I wanted to be with.

  I held out the poster. “Here. Keep it, so maybe one day you’ll remember us and think about what we could have had.”

  He took it from my hands, looking it over like he was finally reading it for the first time. Then his stunned blue eyes found mine.

  “I was stupid, I know that,” I said. “I messed up big time. Making a kiss list was the biggest mistake of my life. I guess I was just so desperate for approval.” I folded my arms, wishing he was holding me. “But I got my mom back, so things are looking up.” Though, that was only one piece of my broken heart replaced.

  I stepped closer to him, hoping he could hear my pounding heart and know how much I meant every word. “Just know, Liam, that you’re the only guy I ever want to kiss.” Standing on my tiptoes, I choked down the tears and lightly pecked his cheek. I couldn’t meet his eyes when I turned and walked away.

  Hayley and Kaitlyn were watching me the entire walk back to the car, Kaitlyn having to really lower her head so she could see out the window. It wasn’t like it was a long walkway, but it sure stretched on, getting longer with each step. It was my walk of shame. I’d finally found the guy I wanted to have a serious relationship with and kiss only him, and I’d completely blown it with my stupid hormones.

  I got into the car and buckled up. “Let’s go.”

  “What happened?” Kaitlyn asked, tapping her long fingers on the gear shift. “We couldn’t tell if it was good or bad.”

  “Bad.” I folded my arms. “Now drive.”

  Kaitlyn glanced at Hayley before she put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. I filled them in on the entire interaction on the drive back to my house.

  “You admitted you’re in love with him?” Hayley whistled. “Camille, that’s huge.”

  “It’s stupid.” I wiped at a stray tear that had escaped my left eye.

  Kaitlyn shook her head, her curly hair bouncing. “It’s huge. You never told Dylan you loved him, and you were with him for over a year.”

  I pinched my skin, trying to keep myself from crying. If I started, I worried I might not stop. I’d never felt this strongly about a guy before. “That’s because I never loved him.”

  “Which is why this is huge,” Hayley said. “You’ve finally found someone to love.”

  “And you’re so not going to pout and throw it all away.” Kaitlyn’s hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, the chair far back to accommodate her long legs. “We can fix this. We can fix anything. It’s what we do.”

  I leaned my head against the headrest. “He’s already said no twice. He’s going with Sadie to Homecoming. What else can I do without being desperate? No guy wants that.”

  Hayley swore under her breath, then sent a quick apology skyward. “I bet you anything he’s not going with Sadie. He probably just said that to upset you.”

  “He can’t even stand her,” Kaitlyn said. When I turned to her in surprise, she continued. “Brady told me. We’ve been talking about you guys, wondering how we can get the two of you together. It’s like everyone can see you’re meant to be except for Liam.”

  I stared out the window. “Maybe that’s a sign we aren’t meant to be.”

  “He’s being stubborn,” Hayley said with a growl. “He likes you, he just can’t lower his pretentious manl
y guard.”

  “Brady said Liam has been wary of relationships since his first girlfriend broke his heart,” Kaitlyn said.

  I thought back, trying to think of who Liam had dated. The only girl I could think of was in middle school. “Jill?”

  “Yep,” Kaitlyn said. “She cheated on him and wasn’t even sorry for doing it. She just toyed with Liam, playing him like a puppet to get him to do whatever she wanted. She knew what a nice guy he is, so she used him. He was like her picture-perfect boyfriend, and she was getting the action on the side with someone else.”

  Hayley scoffed. “Why do girls like the bad guys so much? They’re bad. I mean, it’s in their title.” She tapped the center console. “Mason? He’s a good guy, and the best guy I’ve ever dated. There’s nothing wrong with a guy who respects you.”

  Hearing those words out of her mouth made a smile find its way to my face. She would have never said that with her old boyfriend. He’d been one of the bad boys and lived fully up to his name. I’d worried she’d never see the truth, but she finally did.

  “What about the bocce ball club?” Kaitlyn said, stopping at a light.

  “I don’t think that would actually work,” I said. “It’s not exactly like asking him to Homecoming.”

  Kaitlyn’s eyes lit up in excitement. “He just wants a grand gesture. He wants you to prove that you really do like him. Actions speak louder than words.” She glanced in my direction. “You of all people should understand that.”

  “He probably wants to be the one to ask you to Homecoming,” Hayley said, plopping back in the middle seat. “Because of his overrated man-card.”

  Kaitlyn looked in the rearview mirror at her. “I could so see that. He’s the type who would have planned the whole thing out years ago, and she went and did it first.”

  I turned to them. “He wouldn’t have asked me.”

  Hayley rolled her eyes. “Well, not now. Not after everything that’s happened. But he probably planned the perfect way to ask a girl to Homecoming back in middle school in a color-coordinated planner, and when you show up with some killer invites, he was reminded of it.”