Kids on the Doorstep

by Kimberly Van Meter

  But before Taylor could open her mouth, Alexis started talking. The anger in her young voice fairly vibrated her body as she spoke.

  “What do you wanna know?”

  Renee faltered, not quite sure how to talk to this angry stranger. “Anything, honey. I want to hear about everything,” she said, her gaze darting to Taylor, hoping for some help from her little chatterbox, but she received none. Taylor remained quiet and wide-eyed, waiting for a cue from her sister on how to act. “Taylor?” she prompted but Alexis shut her down before she could say a word.

  “You really wanna know or are you just trying to play like you care?” Alexis said, her gaze hot.

  Renee drew back, stung. “Of course I want to know. And I do care.”

  Alexis smirked, the expression on her young face entirely too mature for her actual age of nine and a half. “Okay. Daddy’s been trying to kill Chloe by giving her rat poison. He put her outside in the rain when she peed the bed and he used to hit her with his belt until he broke her bones. Do you wanna see the bruises?” Renee could only stare in shock. Alexis shrugged. “You asked. Oh, and I’m a year behind in school because Daddy moved us around too much. And Taylor gets nightmares. Are we done catching up?”

  Without waiting for Renee’s answer—not that she could’ve mustered one—Alexis rose with Chloe still in her arms and stalked from the room, calling for Taylor to follow. Alexis whirled before exiting, her blue eyes blazing. “And stop calling me Lexie. I hate that name and I never want to hear it again.”

  Tears sprang to Renee’s eyes and she didn’t care that the old bat was watching as she let her head sink into her hands. She was a fool to think that Lexie—no, Alexis—would ever forgive her. And rightly so. Who was she to even ask for forgiveness when her children had suffered so much?

  “She’s a smart girl,” she heard the old woman say, then crunch into a cookie, presumably the gingersnaps she’d offered earlier. “She’s not one to eat up bullshit, if you know what I mean.”

  She did. Lifting her head, she eyed the woman. “You’re no expert on my daughter after spending a few days with her. I’d appreciate if you kept your opinions to yourself,” Renee said, standing stiffly.

  Gladys shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like you’re much of an expert, either, and you’ve been around her for at least some of those nine years she’s been on this planet, so I’d watch where you’re slinging that attitude of yours,” Gladys said before finishing the rest of her cookie.

  “I know my daughter,” Renee retorted, her cheeks heating but her heart ached privately. What Alexis said…Renee would never have guessed that Jason would have been capable of hurting Chloe. Never even imagined, though she should’ve figured with his more recent drug history. He’d become unpredictable. She struggled to keep her voice calm. “She’s smart. She’ll come around.”

  “Maybe.” The older woman nodded, then bit into another cookie. “If she thinks you deserve a second chance.”

  “She will. I’m her mother.”

  “Don’t get your dander up. I’m just saying she’s a smart girl and if you don’t blow it by cutting out on them again, she’ll likely loosen up. Kids are more forgiving than adults.”

  “Thanks.” The word was difficult against her lips but she sensed this woman was not her enemy even if she wasn’t her friend. She blew out a breath and rolled her shoulders to release the tension building behind her blades. “How are they doing?”

  “Good as to be expected I guess. You might want to talk with John, though. He’s got all the details you’re probably looking for. I just bake and keep them occupied when John has to tend to the horses.”

  Renee smiled softly, thinking of how Taylor must love being around the horses. “Does Taylor get to see the horses?”

  “Oh, yes, that one is hard to keep out of the stables. John lets her help him feed them in the morning, though I suspect when he gets them enrolled in school, she’s going to put up a fuss when she can’t hang around the barn all day.”

  Alarm spiked through Renee. “School? He’s enrolling them in school? Here?”

  Gladys looked nonplussed. “Well, of course, here. Where else? They have to go to school. It’s the law. It’s bad enough that riffraff of a father dragged them from one place to another with no thought as to how they’d get an education, but the judge was adamant that they get enrolled right away. The only reason they’re not enrolled yet is because of some hiccup with Alexis’s transcripts.”

  She supposed that made sense but enrolling them in school suggested permanence and she didn’t want the girls to think they were staying any longer than the court order required. And the fact that the judge wanted them enrolled didn’t bode well for a quick resolution in Renee’s estimation. “Where is the school here?”

  “Well, the high school kids get bused to Emmett’s Mill or Coldwater but there’s an elementary school just down the road a bit that the local country kids go to. That’s where they’ll go.”

  “Is it a good school?”

  Gladys smiled proudly. “One of the best. It’s not big on fancy things like new computers but the teachers are warmhearted and the classes are small. The girls will fit in right away. Don’t you worry.”

  “My girls are strong. They’d fit in anywhere,” she bluffed, only hoping that was true. The truth was, as Gladys had already pointed out, she didn’t know her girls at all.

  But, as her gaze drifted out the front window to the arena where John was working with a horse, she aimed to rectify that no matter what—or who—stood in her way.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  JOHN CROSSED HIS ARMS across his chest and stared. “You want me to what?”

  Renee lifted her chin. “Hire me.”

  “For what and why?”

  “Well, you need someone to help with the girls and by the looks of your house, someone to help out with general upkeep. I figure the best way to stay close to my girls and get to know them again is to be around them as much as possible and I can’t do that if I live and work twenty miles away. Plus, there’s really not much to choose from as far as jobs go. You live in the sticks of the sticks.” Renee paused to take a breath and he realized more was coming. “And, I was thinking that perhaps you could let me stay here in that guesthouse you have behind the main house. I’d be out of your way and it would take care of two of the requirements the judge set forth in the judgment.”

  “Why would I want you moving into my house? Have you forgotten I don’t much like you? And just what the hell are you insinuating about my house?” Was she saying he was a slob? He shot her a dirty look. “You sure have a funny way of asking for a favor, you know that?”

  She returned his glare but the way she chewed her bottom lip told him she realized she might’ve been a little harsh. “I didn’t mean to insult you. All I’m saying is your house is clean enough for a bachelor but a woman’s touch is needed around here.” She gestured to the drapes at the front window. “When was the last time those things were aired out? Or how about the floor? This old hardwood needs to be waxed every now and again. I figure you don’t have the time to be doing stuff like that.”

  He glanced at the floor. Looked fine to him. So it didn’t shine like it used to when his mama was alive but it was still in good shape. And whoever heard of airing out drapes? How dirty could they be? They just hang there. “How do you know so much about cleaning house?” he asked.

  She bristled at his open speculation but answered even though he suspected she would’ve rather told him to shove it and mind his own business. “My mother was a bit of a stickler when it came to keeping a clean home. She was known to fire the staff for not adhering to her standard,” she muttered.

  Staff? His ears pricked at the small tidbit of information but his interest didn’t compel him to inquire further. The woman was becoming a bit of a mystery that only gave him a headache when he tried to figure her out.

  He read nothing but honesty as she said, “I just want to do what’s best for the girls, and
contrary to what you or that nutty judge may think my girls need their mother.”

  He could argue they needed their mother to protect them when their father was being a monster but he figured there was no sense in poking at a beehive when you knew full well nothing but pissed off bees were going to fly out. But that didn’t mean he wanted her moving in. “I don’t want you moving in and I don’t need your services,” he maintained stubbornly.

  She squared her jaw, not willing to give up. “Gladys seems nice enough but you can’t really expect an old lady to keep up with three little girls. She can’t even lift Chloe and that’s who she’d be around when the older girls are in school. What if there was an emergency and you weren’t around? Gladys tells me that you work outside a lot. What if she had a heart attack or something?”

  “Gladys is fine,” he growled. But he knew he couldn’t expect Gladys to keep up with the girls and he did worry when he had to be outside for any length of time, which given his trade was hard to get around. Still, having Renee here…at the ranch? It smacked of trouble. “The court might not approve of you being around the girls without supervision.”

  “I’m not a danger to my own children,” she said quietly and John couldn’t help but soften a bit toward her. “I just want to get to know them again. This is the easiest and most helpful way for both of us. I need a job and a place to stay. You and Gladys need help with the girls. It’s a win-win for us both. And, once the girls and I patch up our relationship, we can all get out of your hair. That’s what you want, right?”

  “I want what’s in the girls’ best interests and I don’t know if that includes letting them leave with you anytime soon,” he snapped, knowing full well he hated the idea of letting the girls leave with this nut but as much as she taxed his patience, she’d made valid points in her favor. “Let me think about it,” he said with no small amount of ire in his tone. “I have to talk with the girls first. I don’t want to upset them more than I have to. Their first day of school is tomorrow and neither of the older kids is too happy about it.”

  “Alexis used to love school,” Renee murmured, her expression sad. She looked up hopefully. “Maybe I could go with you when you take them.”

  He slanted his gaze at her, her blue eyes so much like her oldest daughter’s that he suspected when Alexis grew up she’d be the spitting image of her mama. If that were the case he’d have to beat the boys off with a stick—that is if the girls were still around here by that time, which wasn’t likely. Shifting in annoyance at his thoughts, he grunted an answer.

  She blinked at him. “What? I’m sorry…was that a yes or a no?”

  “I said fine. Do what you want. Just don’t upset the girls.”

  “What time?”

  “I’m supposed to have the girls at the school at seven-thirty.” He chewed the inside of his cheek, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Alexis was pretty angry with her mom and he didn’t want to put her through more than she’d already experienced but Renee had a point. She needed to spend more time around them if they were going to repair their relationship. But a part of him could give a fig about Renee getting her kids to love her again. She was the one who screwed up and walked away. Why should she get a second chance at messing with their hearts? But even as the angry thoughts scrolled through his head, he shot a look at Renee and caught the very real fear in her eyes that her girls might never forgive her, and he realized she was probably beating herself up more than he ever could.

  Unsure of how he really felt and not particularly interested in digging to find out, he grunted something else in the way of goodbye and headed out to the stables. Working with horses was something he knew and understood. He’d just stick with that.

  RENEE WATCHED AS JOHN STALKED off and seeing as she wasn’t entirely sure if he’d just told her to get off his property or go ahead and enjoy an iced tea, she decided to seek out the girls before she returned to town. He hadn’t agreed to her offer but he hadn’t expressly turned her down, either. Renee chose to think optimistically. Perhaps she could get Gladys on her side. Going to the house, she hesitated at the front door, wondering if she should knock or just go in. Deciding it was best to proceed with caution, she gave the door a soft knock and waited.

  She could hear the laughter of her girls, at least Taylor, and Renee smiled. Taylor was always her most exuberant child. A tomboy with a wild nest of blond hair that was stick straight and likely to be standing on end each morning. Renee used to fight with her, trying to get a brush through that mess. Tears sprang to her eyes as the memory of being with her girls every day—before she made the decision to leave—made her stiffen against the bittersweet moment. She was different now and she’d never be the woman she was then. Her fingers strayed to the badge on her jacket and as the pads grazed the hard metal, she sought strength from within and from God. She had just enough time to suck a deep breath of cleansing air before the door opened and Taylor stood there.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” Renee said, fighting the urge to sweep the little girl into her arms. “Can I come in and visit for a bit?”

  “I have to ask Grammy Stemmy,” Taylor said solemnly before running from the door. Renee stepped over the threshold and could hear Taylor yelling in the kitchen. “Renee is here. Can she come in and visit?”

  Fresh pain spiked through Renee as her child referred to her by name as if she were a stranger. No doubt Alexis had a hand in that. The girls would do whatever their older sister told them and right now Alexis was more than willing to sever any tie to their mother. But Renee was tougher than that and she was still their mother, no matter what they called her.

  “I suppose,” Gladys said warily, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “We were just about to have some hot cider and cherry turnovers. Would you like to share some with us?”

  “Sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

  Renee followed Gladys around to the kitchen and took a seat at the expansive oak table, noting that the two little girls clambered into seats right beside her but Alexis was nowhere to be seen. Disappointed that her eldest daughter was purposefully avoiding her, she focused on the joy at having her little girls flocked around her. As she accepted a small plate with a pastry from Gladys, she started casual conversation.

  “Are you excited about starting school, Taylor?”

  Taylor’s expression dissolved into a mutinous scowl even as she chewed on her turnover. “I hate school.”

  “How do you know that, sweetheart? You’ve never been to school yet. Besides, it’s only kindergarten. I bet you’ll have a wonderful time and make lots of new friends.”

  “I don’t want friends. I want to work with the horses and Mr. John.”

  “Well, I’m sure Mr. John loves your help with the horses but he wouldn’t want you to miss out on school. He knows how important it is.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Daddy never made us go to school. He said school never did him any good so why should he make us go?”

  Renee burned inside at Jason’s stupid statement and wondered how in the hell she ever considered him the love of her life. Struggling with her answer, she smiled and said in the nicest way she could muster, “Uh, sometimes Daddy didn’t know what he was talking about. School is very important and I think you’re going to love it.”

  “Why?” Taylor’s bell-like voice tinkled softly as she suddenly looked intrigued. “Do they have horses at school?”

  “Not that I’m aware but they have libraries with lots of books that they will let you check out for free and then you can read all about horses.”

  Taylor seemed to consider this but suddenly her face screwed into a frown. “I don’t know how to read,” she said.

  “All the more reason to go to school. Your teacher will teach you how to read and then you can read anything you like. But in the meantime, before you learn to read, they have what’s called picture books and I’ll bet there are picture books devoted completely to horses. Would you like to see pictures of pretty horses?”

  �
�There’s no prettier horse than Mr. John’s Cisco. He’s very pretty but you can’t get too close to him because he’s been spooked by a bad person.”

  “Spooked?” Renee asked.

  “Yeah, Mr. John works with horses that are sad or mean ’cuz someone wasn’t nice to them. And Cisco is my favorite.”

  Renee was mildly impressed in spite of herself. She had to admit she had a soft spot for abused animals, as well. “What does Cisco look like?”

  Taylor flung her arms as wide as they would go. “He’s bigger than this and real tall. Mr. John said he’s seventeen hands but I don’t know what that means. I think it means he’s like a giant ’cuz he is.”

  “He sounds very big,” Renee agreed, returning to the subject of school. “So, you think you might be willing to check out school then, if we can find some horse picture books?”

  Taylor nodded. “Maybe I’ll go just to check out this library thing. But I’m not making promises that I’ll like school.”

  “Absolutely. No promises.” Renee smiled and suddenly remembered something. Opening her purse, she pulled out Mr. BunBun. The moment Taylor saw what was in Renee’s hand, her eyes widened and she clasped her hands tightly as her voice hit a high-pitched squeal of delight that felt like heaven against Renee’s ears despite its ear-drum shattering quality.

  “Mr. BunBun!” Taylor hugged the bedraggled stuffed animal to her small chest and nearly squeezed the stuffing out of it in her excitement. “How’d you find him?”

  “When I was looking for you girls I found the house you were living in with your dad and Mr. BunBun was all by himself. I knew you would miss him so I grabbed him before leaving.”

  “Thank you so much!” Taylor said and impulsively kissed Renee’s cheek.

  Chloe, watching her sister, copied the gesture and Renee received a sloppy kiss from her youngest daughter. Unable to help herself, Renee scooped both girls into a tight embrace, her heart cracking from the unparalleled joy cascading through her body. The girls giggled and Renee smiled through her tears. The moment was nearly perfect. She only wished Alexis were there in the cuddle. Seconds later, Renee’s unspoken wish was granted—albeit not in the way she’d been hoping.