Kids on the Doorstep

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “What are you doing?” Alexis’s imperious tone cut through the happy moment as easily as a hot knife through butter and the girls scattered.

  Taylor held up her rabbit. “Renee brought me Mr. BunBun,” she said, though her chastised tone scraped on Renee’s nerves. Alexis shouldn’t make her sisters feel bad for showing affection to their mother. Taylor moved farther away from Renee and Chloe followed.

  Renee caught Gladys’s watchful stare as the scene unfolded. Standing, Renee met her daughter’s hot gaze and knew the moment was now or never to remind her daughter that she was still their mother. “Alexis Janelle Dolling, you will not speak to your sisters that way,” Renee said, knowing she was likely digging the hole even deeper between the two of them but she couldn’t stand by and watch as Alexis bullied the girls. “We were having a lovely moment until you came in and started glaring at the girls for even being near me. That will stop right now.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do.” Alexis sneered, but her eyes welled with moisture. “And you’re not our mother anymore. You stopped being our mother the day you walked out on us.”

  “I made a terrible mistake. I admit that. I will gladly spend the rest of my life making up for it but that doesn’t mean that you can talk to me or your sisters so disrespectfully.”

  “We don’t want to hear your excuses,” Alexis said. “And Taylor left behind that dumb stuffed animal for a reason. It’s trash. Isn’t it, Taylor?” She looked pointedly at Taylor until Taylor’s bottom lip trembled as she struggled to let her precious bunny go a second time. Renee was shocked at the level of Alexis’s anger that she’d be willing to sacrifice Taylor’s feelings for her own spite.

  Renee stopped Taylor from dropping the bunny to the table, and ignoring Alexis for a moment, tucked a wayward strand of white-blond hair behind Taylor’s ear as she said softly, “Sweetheart, you don’t have to give up Mr. BunBun. He’s your special bunny and only you can decide when it’s time to let him go. Okay?”

  Taylor nodded slowly and clutched the bunny tightly. Looking to Alexis she said, “He’s not trash!” and ran from the room.

  Sensing the tension, Chloe started to cry and out of instinct Renee scooped the toddler into her arms. Alexis reacted violently, running to Renee and trying to jerk Chloe out of her arms. Renee twisted so that Chloe wasn’t accidentally hurt in the process and suddenly John was there, plucking Alexis up as if she weighed nothing and placing her firmly away from Renee.

  Renee realized as she soothed Chloe that John must’ve been watching the scene from the hallway.

  “Alexis,” he said, commanding her daughter’s attention as angry tears streamed down her face. “Never attack your mother like that. That’s not okay in this house. You could’ve hurt someone, especially your sister. Do you understand?”

  She nodded jerkily but Renee caught a nasty look just the same.

  “Can you apologize?” he asked and she shook her head. As if understanding, he patted her on the shoulder and said, “All right then, go on to your room and think about what you’re so riled up about and maybe we can talk about it later.”

  “I don’t want her here,” Alexis said in a low tone. “Please make her leave.”

  At that Renee felt a section of her heart splinter and fall to pieces. Her daughter hated her and that would probably never change. Tears blinded her as she pressed a kiss to Chloe’s head and handed her to John. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said, then added to Alexis, “I’m not leaving you girls ever again. That’s a promise. You can be mad for as long as you want but that’s not going to change the fact that I love you, Alexis. And deep down, you love me, too.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  JOHN RESISTED THE URGE to follow Renee out but his eyes tracked her progress as she drove out of the driveway.

  He caught Gladys’s watchful stare and he couldn’t help the scowl that followed. “Don’t start thinking there’s more to this than there is. There’s no rule that says I can’t feel bad for the woman for the mess she’s created. I’m human, too.”

  “Oh, stop your blathering. I never said anything. But no matter what you say I think it was right decent of you to come to her rescue when Alexis flew at her like that. I think her heart just about broke when Alexis reacted that way.”

  “Yeah. I saw that. Think I should talk to Alexis?”

  Gladys considered it for a moment and then shook her head. “No. I’d let her work through it on her own. She’s got a deep well full of misery to deal with and we don’t need to heap more on her plate. Besides, I think you got your point across pretty good. If she doesn’t show up for dinner maybe you ought to check in on her but until then, let’s just give her some space.”

  John heaved a private sigh of relief. He didn’t know how to console an angry little girl but he hated to see her so upset.

  “She has a long road ahead of her with that child,” Gladys commented as she packaged the remaining turnovers. “I don’t envy her.”

  “That makes two of us,” he agreed. “You think she can change?”

  Gladys shrugged. “Time will tell but I’m not holding my breath at the moment. She’s got to adjust that attitude of hers or else she’s just going to spin her wheels with Alexis.”

  John glanced away, voicing his private thoughts on the subject. “There’s no excuse for leaving your family behind.”

  “You’re right about that and I know you know what that’s all about. Did you ever forgive your father for leaving?”

  “No.”

  Gladys chuckled. “Didn’t think so. Like I said, that woman’s got a rough row to hoe but in the meantime, we’ll be there to catch the girls before they fall this time around.”

  He shifted, hating how he’d somehow, unwittingly, wandered into emotional territory. Gladys was a tricky one. Always had been. Probably why she and his mom had been such tight friends. They were peas in a pod. She prodded at him and he emitted a low groan as her point went straight home. “I’d be a liar if I said I’ve never said or done anything I regret,” he admitted in a tight voice. “But I don’t understand how a mother could leave her babies. Gladys, I don’t think I’ll ever understand and if I can’t understand how is that little girl going to?”

  “No one is asking you to figure things out for her. She’s a smart kid. She’ll do that on her own. But,” Gladys sighed as if hating to agree with Renee on anything, and then said, “in the meantime, she needs to be around her mother.”

  “Renee suggested I hire her for help around the house with the girls. Said you were too old.”

  Gladys chuckled. “That woman’s got spunk, I’ll give her that. But as much as I hate to admit it, these old bones are feeling the years piling up behind them,” she admitted grudgingly. “I could use a hand around here. Chloe is a handful even though she’s sweeter than freshly churned butter and I think she would love to have her mama around. She doesn’t remember her very well and she harbors the least amount of piss and vinegar. I think it would be smart for Renee to start rebuilding with Chloe first. I’ll be here to smooth out the rough spots but she’s right. I am a bit long in the tooth to be chasing after a toddler while the other girls are in school.”

  John heaved a heavy sigh and nodded. “I guess I could fix up the guesthouse. Although I hate the idea of harboring that woman on my property,” he added with a glower. “Frankly, if it weren’t something the girls probably need to get over this mess, I’d tell her to pound sand. I don’t give a shit about her feelings in this.”

  “What about the court stuff?”

  “Oh, Sheriff Casey isn’t going to make a stink over anything as long as those girls are safe and happy. Besides, the order doesn’t say anything about Renee keeping her distance or anything. I suppose as long as everyone is happy, no one needs to be the wiser.”

  “So it’s settled, then? Renee is moving in?” Gladys’s mouth firmed, no more happy about it than John but willing to see it through for the girls’ sake just like him.

&nbs
p; “I suppose she is.” He walked from the kitchen, his pace brisk, but not even his quickened step could keep him from the realization that he was about to invite more complications into his life and if the warning tingle in his gut was any indication, he might’ve just changed his life forever.

  RENEE WALKED WITH TAYLOR’S hand firmly in her own as Alexis practically jogged three steps ahead with John and Chloe somewhere in between.

  “I don’t want you walking me to class,” Alexis declared, looking pointedly at Renee before continuing with strong purposeful steps toward the entrance.

  Renee looked down at Taylor. “How about you?”

  “You can walk me to class if you want to, I suppose,” Taylor answered. “You can show me where these picture books are that you were talking about.”

  “Deal.”

  The school was an old brick building with a bell at the top, a remnant of when the school was first built in the late 1800s, and it looked right out of an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

  “Do you think that bell still works?” Taylor asked.

  “I don’t know but we can ask your teacher,” Renee said, smiling.

  She glanced up at John and wondered if this was where he went to school. He seemed to know his way around well enough as they went straight to the front office and a few people even nodded in surprise at seeing him there.

  “Old school chums?” Renee surmised once she’d caught up to him.

  “I guess you could say that,” John answered, but didn’t elaborate further. Talk about a man of little words. If he strung together more than two sentences in a row she’d fall over in shock. Grumbling to herself, she kept the rest of her annoyed thoughts silent as the principal greeted them.

  “John Murphy? I haven’t seen you in awhile but I do know you don’t have kids. Who do I have the pleasure of meeting?”

  Before John could answer, Renee piped in, saying, “They’re mine. We’re just staying with John at the ranch for now. Renee Dolling, pleased to meet you, Mr….”

  “Curtis Meany,” he answered with a broad smile, coming forward to envelope her hand in a firm handshake. “Don’t let the name fool you, I’m really a softie at heart. If I’m not careful these students run all over me. Are you from around here? I don’t recall the name.”

  “No, we’re new.” Renee smiled and left it at that. She didn’t want to go into details and ruin this nice man’s impression of her. It was hard enough dealing with John much less another judgmental local. “My girls, Alexis and Taylor, are starting classes today.”

  “Yes, here are their teachers’ names and classroom numbers. If you have any questions or concerns, my door is always open. Good to see you again, John.”

  “Curt.” John inclined his head and then gesturing for the paper in Renee’s hand, said, “Let’s get this show on the road. I have a horse coming in an hour.”

  “You can go if you like,” Renee offered and was mildly surprised when he frowned in response. “If you’re in a hurry…”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You implied.”

  He started to say something but then thought better of it and snapped his mouth shut. “Perhaps I did.”

  Renee smiled down at Taylor. “Let’s go find your teacher, shall we?”

  She didn’t wait for John nor did she try to convince Alexis to let her walk her to class, as well. She knew her daughter well enough to know any attempt at this point would be rudely rebuffed. She’d have to let Alexis come to her. She fought back a well of fear when she considered the very real possibility that that day might never come and instead focused on the happy start she was being granted with her middle daughter.

  JOHN WATCHED AS RENEE LED Taylor to her new classroom. To look at them one would never guess their circumstances. Renee looked every part the doting mother, her eyes fairly shone with love and adoration that John was almost apt to believe, if not for the reminder of Renee’s defection standing beside him wearing a fierce scowl.

  “She seems to be trying,” John noted, almost to himself but it was really directed toward Alexis. She took the bait quite readily.

  Alexis snorted. “My mom used to want to be an actress. You shouldn’t believe a word she says. She’s a good liar.” And then she adjusted her pack and stomped in the direction of her new classroom.

  An actress? It shocked him but then again…it didn’t. She was sure pretty enough to fill a big screen. That blond-hair-blue-eye combination was a killer. Not to mention those curves…John shifted on the balls of his feet wondering where his mind was going and who gave it permission to wander like that.

  Renee returned a short time later, a warm glow suffusing her expression that was nearly contagious.

  “She settled in all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I think she’s going to have fun. Taylor has an adventurous spirit. She’s game for anything that can hook her interest. But then you’ve probably already figured that out about her.”

  He had. It was one of Taylor’s more endearing qualities. “She’s got a sharp mind. I think school will be a good challenge for her.”

  Renee nodded and they walked out the front doors. The children quickly dispersed as they ran to their individual classes when the bell rang. Once at their vehicles, John climbed into his truck and then stopped to call out to Renee.

  “Yeah?” she asked, her brow furrowing subtly as she regarded him warily.

  “If you’re still interested in the job, I suppose it’s available.”

  “You’re saying that you’re willing to hire me to help out with my kids?” There was a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn’t help but catch and it made him bite back what he might’ve said to her clever comment. She didn’t give him a chance to rescind the offer and quickly jumped. “Sounds perfect. When can I move in?”

  John startled at the gooseflesh that rioted up and down his arm. He swallowed. Moving in. It created a wealth of imagery that made his heartbeat thud painfully. Scowling, he said, “Since you’re in an all-fired hurry, I suppose Friday is fine.”

  “Friday?” Her expression fell. “But it’s only Monday. I was hoping—”

  “I know what you were hoping but the guesthouse won’t be ready for anyone until then. It’s the soonest I can accommodate you into my schedule. It should go without saying that I still have a job to do and it doesn’t include making room for yet another Dolling. You get me? Take it or leave it.”

  He winced privately at how surly he sounded. Damn, if he didn’t sound like a cantankerous old fart but she rubbed him the wrong way in the worst way. She had no business looking the way she did and coming around as if she was pretending to care when John knew full well she hadn’t cared when it mattered to those little girls. Right? Ah, great. Talking to yourself now, he mentally chastised himself. John’s lips pressed against one another and he figured that was the smartest thing he could do at this point—keep his damn mouth shut.

  “Friday, 8 a.m. sharp. Don’t be late.” He slammed the truck door, eager to get the hell away from her and his confused thoughts.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  RENEE RETURNED TO THE HOTEL, her mind buzzing and her heart full of hope for the future. Taylor was the key to breaching the wall Alexis had built around them. She didn’t blame Alexis for her attitude even if it hurt. Of all the kids, Alexis remembered many details that were lost to Taylor and unknown to Chloe. Renee rubbed her palm across her stinging eyes and fought back the bad memories that always threatened to surface when she wasn’t being vigilant enough.

  The fights. The screaming. And the alcohol. Always a lot of that around the Dolling house. It became her way of coping with a failed life and living with a man she didn’t love any longer. She’d had such big dreams as a kid. But Jason Dolling had been persuasive and her hormones had been listening. She couldn’t regret everything that happened during their life together. Her girls were the shining example that even when everything else was going to shit, there was always something to be grateful f
or.

  She wished she could take every bad memory from her daughter’s mind but that wasn’t an option. All she could do was be there and promise their lives would be different. And that was something she could do without reservation.

  Getting sober hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world but she’d had really solid motivation. She never tried to compare her journey to that of others because they’re never the same or even comparable. Renee had definitely come to appreciate that old saying, Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, because when she’d made the decision to get sober at first it was natural to assume others had it easier or harder, take your pick, but she’d learned quickly not to judge. She’d seen lawyers and doctors sitting side by side with drug addicts and no one had it easy.

  She’d been no different—and no worse.

  But to explain to a child the reasons why her mother left…were there words in the English language that would ever convey the reason in a way a child would understand? Renee didn’t know but she desperately wanted to find out. Alexis was her soldier, her first born. She’d bonded to that girl from the moment she came screaming into the world, her lusty squall a balm to Renee’s young heart, the calm in the storm that surrounded her and Jason.

  Taylor was the let’s-try-and-save-the-marriage baby. And by the time Chloe arrived…well, the marriage had been over before she was conceived. Yet, Renee had stayed. Drinking her failure away with her two solid friends, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam and the occasional visit by Captain Morgan on holidays.

  So many bad choices. A lifetime, really. Was she poised at the precipice of yet another bad Renee Dolling decision? She just wanted her kids back so they could get back to their lives.