Kids on the Doorstep

by Kimberly Van Meter

  JOHN PULLED RENEE INTO his arms, his senses alive with the solid feel of her body against his, and gave into the tremendous wave of pleasure that came from the seductive dance of their tongues twining and retreating. It was a slow and steady assault on his defenses and it was a battle he didn’t mind losing in the least. His groin tightened until his jeans bit uncomfortably into his taut skin and he wanted nothing more than to lay Renee down in the hay and warm every inch of that beautiful skin of hers. But even as desire attempted to blot out every useful thought in his head, there was a voice—faint as it were—demanding that he stop. For one, he doubted Renee would much enjoy a quick roll in the barn. She made it abundantly clear she was no country girl. And two, well, this just smacked of a bad idea on multiple levels.

  But damn…for something so wrong, it felt pretty right.

  Biting back a sigh of frustration, he pulled slowly away. Her lips, swollen and reddened, called to him and he had to catch himself before he leaned in for another taste. “I’m sorry…” he started, but then stopped. “I take that back. I’m not sorry. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now and well…you looked so beautiful standing there that I didn’t want to hold back. I am sorry if it complicates things more than they already are.”

  It was a moment before she spoke and the silence had started to make John sweat. Finally, she nodded. “I’m not going to lie. I’m attracted to you in the worst way. I want you so bad my teeth ache. But…what happens afterward? We may be playing house for the moment but eventually I’m leaving and I’m taking my girls with me. And then what? Broken hearts all around? No. It’s bad enough that my girls are going to bawl their eyes out when we have to leave. Someone has to stay strong for their sakes.”

  “You’re right,” he murmured, regretfully putting more space between them. “It’s a good thing one of us is thinking clearly. Because right about now I’ve got some crazy thoughts running through my head and I can’t say they’re not motivated by the wrong things.”

  She blushed a pretty shade of pink and he grinned. “Damn, you’re beautiful,” he said.

  “Stop that,” she said, trying to be serious, though her eyes had warmed with a sweet light. “How am I supposed to stay strong when you’re handing out compliments like candy? I’m just as vulnerable as the next girl when it comes to sweet-talking men.”

  “Somehow I doubt that,” he said. Moving toward the barn entrance, he jerked his head, saying, “Let’s get out of this cold barn before we freeze and see what we can throw together to eat. If I can’t feed one appetite, I can certainly feed the other, right?”

  “Lucky for you, Gladys left a potato casserole in the oven. That woman spoils you rotten.”

  “It’s true,” John acknowledged with only a hint of cheeky laughter in his voice. “But if Evan were around she’d do the same for him. She’s always been our surrogate mom since our own mom died,” he said.

  “I know. She told me. That woman thinks a lot of you two. You’re really lucky.”

  He grinned again. “I know that, too. Why do you think she pretty much has the run of anything I own? It’s because I know I could never repay her for what she’s given to Evan and me. You can’t put a price on that.”

  “No. You can’t,” she agreed softly and the wistful expression on her face made him wonder what her childhood had been like. Something told him it wasn’t full of hugs and kisses and cozy Christmas mornings. His mother may not have had much in the way of money, but she always had an abundance of love and when she died, Gladys stepped in without a beat. A long, pregnant silence passed between them until John, not interested in ending the moment in melancholy, reached out and tugged gently on her hand.

  “C’mon, I’m starved and it’s not getting any warmer in this barn.”

  She returned his smile and he pretended not to notice the subtle sad pull at the corners of her lips as she allowed her hand to rest in his as they trudged back to the house. He let go first because he sensed it was coming. He tried to push from his head the urge to ask what was behind that enigmatic expression because he knew that was a boundary she hadn’t invited him to cross. Hell, she’d pretty much just drawn the line in the sand and it was up to him to respect it. And he did. Fully. Even if knowing that he couldn’t touch her in the way he desired was tying him up in knots.

  But worse still than the knowledge that he couldn’t bury himself in that soft and yielding body was the fact that no matter what happened between them, Renee couldn’t get out of this place fast enough.

  And that killed him.

  He wanted her to stay. Damn it. He wanted her to stay.

  Rubbing his chin at the realization, a dry chuckle followed. Well, if that didn’t wedge him in a difficult spot he didn’t know what did. But something told him he was about to get a helluvan education with Renee around.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  RENEE STARED IN DISMAY at the fat flakes spiraling down from the slate-colored skies to land silently on the ground, and offered a nice, mean curse to Mother Nature for her winter bounty.

  No fair, she wanted to grouse. It had snowed last weekend, too. Not a lot and not as much as the weatherman had predicted but it had prevented her from taking the girls on an outing. She’d shelved her plans for the following weekend, yet here she sat, muttering at the sky for ruining her plans—again.

  “I hate the country,” she said under her breath as she shoved another log inside the woodstove. “When I get out of here, I’m never going to live in another place where there’s even a chance of snow. It’s cold and you have to stay bundled up all the time and…and…” She searched for another reason to hate winter in the country but she was suddenly distracted by the undeniably sweet sound of her daughters’ laughter out in the yard.

  Dusting the bits of bark from her palms, she rose and peered out her small window to see Alexis, Taylor and Chloe twirling in the snow to catch flakes on their tiny, outstretched tongues. Chloe, unsteady on her feet, was the first to tumble to the soft snow. Taylor’s unabashed joy shone in her young face as she fell backward without fear into a thick snowdrift. But even as her younger daughters made her smile with their giggles, it was Alexis with John that made her breath stop. She and John were building a snowman. It was lumpy and odd-looking but the smile wreathing Alexis’s face brought tears to Renee’s eyes just for the lost beauty of it. How long had it been since Alexis smiled at her like that? The lump in Renee’s throat was answer enough. Her first impulse was to rush out there to be a part of their fun. But the fact that she hadn’t been invited stung more than her pride. And so she didn’t follow her instinct. Instead, she contented herself with leaning against the window and watching silently.

  As she stood there, chuckling softly at their antics as snowman building turned into snowball wars, she realized how much her daughters had missed in their previous life. Jason had never spent so much time with their girls. For that matter, she hadn’t, either. Her own mother hadn’t been much for setting a motherly example, not that Renee was trying to use that as an excuse but it was true. Had her life with Jason always been an exercise in bad parenting? Every moment of it? She searched her memory, desperately seeking for something that wasn’t coated in a haze of alcohol but came up empty. Her gaze returned to John and a sigh escaped her. She’d give anything to see Alexis turn that beaming smile her way. A tear surprised her as it snaked its way down her cheek. As she wiped it away she knew she’d do anything to deserve her daughter’s love.

  Pulling away, Renee let the lacy curtain fall from her fingertips, but was surprised by a soft knock at the door.

  Opening it, her heart leapt as Taylor stood there.

  “What is it, honey?” she asked, afraid to hope.

  Taylor pushed her hair from her eyes and said breathlessly, “Grammy Stemmy and us are gonna make snow-cream. You wanna come help us?”

  Snow-cream? She didn’t have a clue what that entailed but since she was being invited, Renee didn’t much care and her smile reflected
as much. “Absolutely,” Renee answered enthusiastically, wasting little time in grabbing her jacket and following Taylor into the yard where Gladys was instructing the girls in how to collect the snow.

  Renee stopped. “You mean, you use the snow? The actual snow that’s falling out of the sky? Is that safe? I mean, healthy?”

  Gladys and John shared a look that plainly said “city girl” and Renee set her jaw in annoyance. “What?”

  Once everyone had their large bowls full with fresh powder, they tromped back to the house, the girls’ chatter filling the silent, white landscape as surely as it filled Renee’s heart and for a small window in time she actually didn’t hate snow any longer.

  FIRE CRACKLING IN THE fireplace, it was warm where Renee was sitting but she wasn’t sure if the heat came from the cozy fire or the hormones percolating her blood.

  “Girls asleep?” she asked unnecessarily when John returned from one last tour of the house, knowing that he would’ve checked on the girls and Gladys along the way. He gave a short nod and then settled on the floor beside her. “Nothing wears them out faster than a day spent outside in this kind of weather,” she noted, trying to keep calm and detached even though her heart had started to race.

  “You’ve never had snow-cream before, have you.” It was a rhetorical question. Her baffled expression had surely said it all as Gladys had poured an odd assortment of stuff in a giant bowl then whipped it together to create something that—bless her heart—was damn good.

  “Not a lot of snow where I come from, remember?” she murmured, glancing at him from beneath her lashes. A small smile followed when he chuckled.

  “You don’t know what you’ve been missing,” he joked.

  “Apparently.”

  He nudged her gently. “C’mon, admit it. You thought it was pretty good.”

  “Yeah. It was. Although, I’m still not sure it’s healthy to eat what’s falling out of the sky.”

  “It’s fine,” he assured her and his easy smile was infectious. He lifted a stray strand of hair away from her cheekbone and tucked it behind her ear. The action was enough to steal her breath. For what it was worth, it seemed she wasn’t the only one affected. “I’m going to have to kiss you,” he said softly.

  “Oh?” She tried to seem disinterested but it was a losing battle that she gave up on real quick. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips and she knew it would seem like an invitation. He wouldn’t be wrong. He leaned in and sampled her lips, moving slowly and sensuously across the surface of her mouth, tongues touching, exploring and stroking in such a way that Renee lost her ability to recall why she’d put a stop to this type of behavior in the first place. At that particular moment Renee would’ve pointed a gun at anyone who caused him to stop.

  They kissed as if there was no rush. The moment was all about exploration and John used the same single-minded attention he used with his work on her body. His hands searched and roamed every hill and valley until Renee felt as if he’d memorized every inch and it made her feel valued and cherished in a way she’d never imagined possible. She hardly noticed when her clothes fell away, but the moment he peeled his own clothes off, she sucked in a wild breath as her gaze traveled the hard, toned and muscular body of a man accustomed to making a living by the sweat of his brow. His hands were rough and calloused and they excited her in a way she’d never known. Jason’s touch had been soft and impatient as he grabbed and pinched for his own pleasure, regardless of what she liked or wanted, but she’d stopped trying to get him to be more considerate long ago. She sucked back a gasp as John kneaded the firm flesh of her breast, teasing the nipple through the fabric of her bra and any residual memory of Jason or any other lover faded from her mind.

  They might’ve remained there if not for an errant sound outside that reminded them they were in danger of being discovered by any one of the houseguests and neither relished the idea of being caught in an indecent position. So with her hand tucked into his, Renee grabbed her clothes and followed John into his bedroom and closed the door softly but firmly behind them.

  MOONLIGHT REFLECTING OFF the white landscape outside dusted the room with pale light and danced on Renee’s naked skin, giving it a luminance that seemed unworldly. John’s heart beat an erratic rhythm that labored his breathing as if he’d just spent the afternoon splitting wood with a dull-bladed axe. He’d never seen a woman so beautiful. Her eyes shone with vulnerability mixed with desire and it made his vision swim with the power of it.

  Bracing himself above her, one heavy thigh trapped between the soft, silken skin of her legs, he leaned down and kissed her deeply, pausing only long enough to make sure she wanted this as much as he did.

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” she assured him in a husky whisper. “I want this. I want you.”

  Her words thrilled him unlike any other and he claimed her lips again but he was hungry for the rest of her and his appetite was no longer whetted by just the taste of her lips. Pressing an ardent trail of kisses down the column of her soft neck, her sharp intake of breath encouraged him to go farther, until he reached her full breasts. Lavishing each one in turn with his mouth, he didn’t rest until she was twisting and writhing beneath him, clutching at his shoulders and begging him for more.

  Sliding down farther and ignoring the near painful ache in his groin as his hard length demanded to know her fully, he took her into his mouth with slow and measured strokes taking quick note of which strokes elicited the best response and as her thighs started to shake with gathering need and she began grabbing the bedsheets in her clenched hands, he brought her home with loving attention.

  RENEE EXPLODED, GASPING as she climaxed harder than she ever thought her body capable. Heaven help her, the man had talent! Head lolling to the side, trying to draw breath into her lungs, she barely had time to form a coherent thought before John was drawing her pliant and sated body to his. His tongue swept her mouth, the smell of her own musk igniting the fire once again, kindling the banked desire as if it had not been just satisfied.

  His eyes gleamed with a dark and sexy light that told her he was not nearly finished with her and she wasn’t wrong.

  Flipping her to her stomach, he rained kisses down her back, hitting erogenous spots she hadn’t been aware existed, and as he drew her to her knees her arousal hit a plateau that made her wild with need. She’d never been fond of this position, always too conscious of how her behind might look but at this moment, she felt incredibly sexy and wanton and when John seated himself to the hilt the last thing on her mind was if he was thinking she could stand to lose a few pounds.

  His strokes took on a tell-tale urgency and his labored breathing gave Renee a dark, powerful thrill knowing that he was nearing his release. That coupled with the hard glide into her body, hitting the deepest most elusive spot inside her, sent her hurtling toward her own release that shocked and delighted her as she’d never been able to reach the Big O from sex alone. She tensed as he did and they tipped over the edge together, collapsing to the bed, panting with the force of what they’d achieved with near perfect synchronicity.

  It was several moments before either spoke but as the sweat dried on their bodies, Renee was relieved to see that a condom wrapper was on the floor. She hadn’t realized he’d even put one on but she was ridiculously grateful that at least one of them had been thinking clearly enough to use one.

  Renee turned away so that John could discreetly dispose of the used condom but in doing so, the moment seemed to turn awkward. She got up to retrieve her clothing but John’s hand gently pulling her back to the bed stopped her.

  “I should get back to my…um, house, cottage-thing,” she whispered, not quite sure what to call the small guesthouse. “I don’t want the girls to see me come out of your room in the morning.”

  “It’s a long ways before morning,” he reminded her and her gaze sought the alarm clock beside the bed. It was several hours before dawn. The entire house was still sleeping soundly. Was he interested
in Round Two? His lips lifted in a smile but there was nothing suggestive about it. “Stay a bit longer,” he said, drawing her into the shelter of his arms without waiting for her response. As John nuzzled her neck she tried not to think how wonderful it felt to be snuggled against him but her body betrayed her.

  “I can’t stay long,” she finally said, settling against him, telling herself it was only for a few more minutes longer. “The girls…”

  “I know,” he said, the faint hint of resignation in his voice telling her he understood but his arms tightened around her just the same. Her eyelids drooped against her will. It was too comforting, too inviting to remain there in his arms. For something that smacked of a terrible idea, it sure felt good.

  Was it the phenomenal sex, she wondered silently. It had to be. Who knew John Murphy was a love guru? She tried to look past what had happened between them because it was too real, too big to acknowledge but it stared at her with the unwavering gaze of a predator stalking its prey. It was just her style to fall in love with a man whom she had no business fooling around with. It was so her style. Self-destructive, stupid and selfish. Yep. That was her style all right. So much for changing patterns.

  “Stop.”

  She startled, all traces of sleep gone from his voice. She turned to face him, his expression, illuminated by the silvery light streaming from the frosted windowpane, was troubled and knowing. It was the knowing part that made her want to run. “Stop what?” she asked.

  “Stop thinking whatever’s running through your head,” he said.

  “What makes you think I’m thinking about anything?” she tried bluffing but he saw through her and that made him dangerous.

  “You’ve got that look on your face,” he said, smoothing her forehead. “A subtle frown that says you’re upset about something.”