Where the Heart Lies

by Michelle Garren Flye

  “You dated him?” Alicia looked up from her plate in surprise.

  It was Penny’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Don’t read too much into that, okay? It was right after Amy was born. I didn’t have a whole lot of other suitors.”

  “Right after Amy was born?” Alicia hesitated. “How long did you guys date?”

  “I don’t know.” Penny unloaded her own bag. “I guess a couple of years, off and on.”

  “A couple of years?” Alicia gaped. “Really? That sounds pretty serious.” She closed her mouth and tilted her head, thinking. “Is it him or me that you don’t trust?” She tried to make her voice teasing, but she was so ruffled by Penny’s unwanted advice, she didn’t quite manage it.

  Penny frowned. “Oh come on. That was thirteen years ago. It’s ancient history. I just don’t trust him, and you shouldn’t either.”

  “Right.” Alicia did some quick mental math. Even taking into account that Amy might have been a year old when Penny and Liam dated, thirteen years didn’t add up. Penny must have dated Liam much longer than a couple of years. Not that it was any of her business. Alicia took a quick bite of burger, deciding to let the subject drop if Penny did.

  And since she wasn’t sure what she’d do if Penny didn’t, she was rather glad when her friend turned her attention to her fries.

  * * *

  “Yoo-hoo, Alicia, darling.” Millie stuck her head in the front door in the early afternoon hours of the next day.

  Alicia came out of the kitchen and waved to her mother-in-law. “Come on in. You don’t have to knock!”

  Millie embraced her daughter-in-law. “You’re so skinny! Don’t you eat?”

  Used to Millie’s exaggerations, Alicia just smiled and motioned toward the kitchen. “Come have a cup of coffee with me while everything’s quiet.”

  “It is quiet,” Millie said. “Where are the kids?”

  “I just put Jason down for his nap and Gemma’s having some quiet time. She got a little out of control earlier. I’m sure she’ll be poking her nose out soon, especially when she hears your voice.” Alicia put her arm around her mother-in-law’s shoulders and led her into the kitchen.

  “How’s Jim?” Alicia poured two cups of coffee and handed one to Millie.

  Millie sighed and rolled her eyes. “The neurologist wants to do another CT to check for an aneurysm this time. His energy level just isn’t where it should be anymore. He wanted to come over and see the kids with me when we got back in town, but I told him to stay home and take a nap.” She paused and bit her lip. “Sorry, dear, it seems funny to call the assisted living facility home. I know it is now, and this is your home and that’s the way it should be. We just couldn’t stay here after Jim had his stroke…”

  Alicia took Millie’s hand and waited until she fell silent. “It’s still your house.” When Millie shook her head, Alicia persisted. “You raised your son here and you and Jim worked very hard to pay off the mortgage. Your dreams and hopes are here, and it belongs much more to you than it does to me. I hope you know how fortunate I know I am to be here.” She paused, looking around her. “People treat houses like disposable things these days. It’s a shame, really, that when most people take out a mortgage, they have no intention of ever paying it off. Keep the house for five years and sell it for a profit so you can trade up.” She turned back to Millie, who was smiling at her with tears in her eyes. “And that’s why, even though I’m the one who is currently paying the mortgage here, I recognize that this is more your home than mine. Maybe someday, if I’m lucky enough to raise my children here, it will be mine too.”

  Millie sniffled and reached across to hug Alicia. “You are such a dear, dear girl. I’m so happy to have you for a daughter.”

  Alicia hugged her back, then both women straightened, laughing with tears in their eyes. Millie may be the only woman who misses Ty as much as I do, but it’s so much more than that, Alicia thought. She’s glad I’m here. And not just so she can be near the kids, either. Suddenly afraid she really was going to cry, Alicia stood. “I should check on the kids. I figured Gemma would be pouncing on you by now.”

  Millie laughed. “Tell her Nana is here to play!” She reached for the stack of mail Alicia had left on the kitchen table for her and began to shuffle through it.

  Alicia checked on Jason first and found him sleeping peacefully. To her surprise, she found Gemma also asleep. “Dear sweet,” she murmured, pulling the quilt over her little daughter. Gemma had insisted on giving up naps recently, but she often got very tired in the afternoon. A nap after the past few stressful days of moving would do her a lot of good. Alicia bent and kissed her daughter gently before going back into the hallway.

  She heard voices from the front of the house and hesitated. Millie’s voice mixed with another woman’s, both talking at the same time, and Alicia heard a man’s deep rumble of laughter. She came quickly down the hallway to find Millie talking to an older couple.

  “Oh, Alicia, come meet your neighbors.” Millie beckoned. “They’re troublemakers, but you’ll never live next door to better people.”

  “We’re troublemakers?” the man exclaimed. “I never saw the likes of you and Jim for making trouble!”

  “Oh hush, Sean.” The woman nudged him. “You’re going to scare this beautiful girl off before we get a chance to introduce ourselves.” She turned to Alicia and held out her hand. “I’m Lauran and this loudmouth is my husband Sean.”

  Alicia held out her hand. “It’s good to meet you. You’re my neighbors?”

  “On your port side, sweetheart,” Sean said, drawing a glare from his wife.

  “He means we live over there.” She gestured to the left. “Part of the time, anyway. We travel a lot now Sean’s retired. I saw your adorable little girl out playing the other day. I’m sorry I didn’t get over to introduce myself then. But when I saw Millie’s car out front, we just had to come over.”

  “I’m glad you did! Jim will be so sorry he missed you. Lauran and Sean were our bridge partners for twenty some years. We had supper together at least once a week, our kids played together…” Millie laughed, looking at Alicia. “In fact, Ty took their daughter Kathryn to Homecoming his senior year. How is Kathryn, anyway?”

  “She’s a mom of three and a doctor too.” Lauran sounded proud. “She’s happily married and living in New York now. She did finally get over that broken heart Ty gave her, about the time she finished medical school, I reckon. What do you do, dear?” She smiled politely at Alicia.

  “I’ve taken over Jim’s bookstore.” Suddenly her aspirations to revive the success of Jim’s store seemed inadequate.

  “That’s wonderful, dear.” Lauran patted her hand. “I’m so proud to know you. Ty was in our house so often, you know. Speaking of being in the house, this is the week for blasts from the past, I guess.” She turned to Millie, her eyes sliding sideways at Alicia. “It gave me quite a turn to see Liam Addison over here the other evening. I had such a sense of déjà vu.”

  “Liam?” Millie’s eyes went wide and she turned to Alicia, who unaccountably experienced a surge of guilt and a need to explain.

  “Um, yeah, I meant to tell you about that. He came by to drop off a few groceries, just some doughnuts and coffee.”

  “Well, he was here longer than that would take.” Lauran sniffed dubiously.

  Alicia blushed and had a wild desire to tell the old woman to mind her own business. She had a sneaking suspicion Lauran was the type who’d been whispering at Ty’s funeral. She changed the subject. “I’m so sorry. Here we stand in the doorway and I haven’t invited you in. Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “Do I smell coffee?” Sean sniffed the air.

  “You can’t have caffeine this late in the day,” his wife said. “You’ll be up all night.”

  “That’s you, old lady,” Sean sa
id. “I can handle my caffeine.”

  “It’s decaf.” Alicia turned to the kitchen, tired already from trying to keep up with their bickering.

  “Oh, well then, coffees all around.” Sean gestured as if he were offering to buy everyone a drink.

  “I’ll help you,” Millie said.

  Alicia shook her head. “That’s fine. It’ll only take a minute since it’s already made.” She walked quickly into the kitchen, leaving Millie to take Lauran and Sean into the living room.

  In the kitchen, she concentrated on assembling the coffee cups, sweetener and creamer on a tray, trying not to dwell on the sudden dislike she’d developed for her new neighbors. She couldn’t actually put her finger on the why of it. Maybe it was Lauran’s quietly easy way of bragging about her obviously spectacular daughter whose perfect life in New York dwarfed Alicia’s middling existence in small-town North Carolina, of all places. Or maybe it was the way she spoke about Liam’s visit, as if there were something wrong with him being there.

  Alicia shook off her momentary irritation. She couldn’t afford to get off on the wrong foot with her new neighbors, regardless of their idiosyncrasies. And so what if Lauran was proud of her daughter and liked to peek through the curtains at her neighbors? Maybe that was her only entertainment.

  Picking up the tray and taking a deep breath, she resolved to return to the living room and start fresh. When she entered, Lauran and Millie were deep in conversation with Sean looking on, a broad grin on his face.

  “He’s quite the ladies’ man now,” Lauran said. “I’ve heard stories about that boy that’d make you squirm, Millie. Especially with you being like a second mother to him when he was young.”

  “Except for his parents’ funerals, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Liam Addison in the past ten years at least.” Millie paused, looking at her coffee with regret, then squaring her shoulders. “And he shows up at my door as soon as my beautiful daughter-in-law moves in. I believe you.”

  Alicia set the tray down on the table and took a deep breath. “He seemed very nice.”

  “Honey, he’s not going to come on to you directly or anything.” Lauran accepted the cup Alicia offered. “He’s too smart for that. But he may try to get into your good graces. He’s pretty much exhausted the supply of attractive women around here.”

  “Really?” Alicia blinked. Lauran’s description didn’t mesh with her impression of Liam.

  “He’s always had an eye for pretty girls.” Lauran blew on her coffee to cool it.

  “Especially girls Ty had first.” Millie’s lips tightened.

  “Women!” Sean shook his head. “You two act like the boy is Satan himself. He just likes to have a little fun, that’s all.”

  “You had a few choice words about him yourself when he dated Kathryn,” Lauran exclaimed.

  “That’s because he wasn’t good enough for Kathryn.” Sean grinned. “But then again, nobody ever has been, including her no-good husband.”

  “You mean the same no-good husband who’s a lawyer and worships the ground she walks on, right?” Lauran turned back to Alicia as Sean sputtered then fell silent. “You never did say why Liam was here so late.”

  Alicia hesitated and decided Lauran didn’t need to know everything. “He brought by the groceries and we had a cup of coffee.” She shrugged. “We just started talking and the time slipped away.”

  “About?” Lauran prodded, and Alicia was aware Millie was listening.

  “Ty mostly.” Alicia flicked her hand as if it didn’t really matter. “Liam told me about him when he was in high school. He seemed to really miss him.”

  Lauran looked satisfied. “Well, at least you had a hero like Ty for a husband. You’ll have more sense than to get mixed up with the likes of Liam Addison.”

  At that moment Gemma appeared in the entrance to the living room. Still half-asleep, she clutched her favorite stuffed cat against her. She looked around at the collection of adults and came immediately to Alicia’s side to lay her head in her mother’s lap.

  “Hi, baby.” Alicia stroked her daughter’s long curly hair back from her face.

  Gemma turned her head and looked wistfully at her mother with the blue eyes that reminded her so much of Ty’s. “Mommy, when is Mr. Liam going to come back to visit?”

  This time, the blush sprang immediately to Alicia’s face. She bit her lip and stroked her daughter’s hair again, her eyes downcast. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Mr. Addison didn’t say. He lives in another town.”

  Gemma stood up and looked around at the other adults. “Mr. Liam showed me a real live magic trick.”

  “I’ll bet he did.” Lauran rolled her eyes.

  Refusing to act as if she’d done something wrong when she hadn’t, Alicia raised her gaze to meet those of her neighbors. Millie stared into her coffee cup. “It actually was very sweet. Liam helped entertain Gemma while I took care of Jason. And now she’s convinced he’s magic.”

  Millie looked up sharply but still said nothing. Lauran, on the other hand, arched her eyebrows and said, “Maybe he is magic, after all. He certainly seems to have put a spell on you.”

  Alicia clenched her teeth hard and turned the conversation as skillfully as possible to other venues. She avoided looking at her mother-in-law for several minutes, her face hot under Lauran’s suspicious gaze, but she held her chin level. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

  But she couldn’t quite figure out why these people could make her feel as if she did.

  Chapter Four

  Alicia took the completed inventory list to Millie and Jim’s condo when she went for dinner with them two weeks later. Jim was stronger, according to a hopeful-sounding Millie. He wanted to know what was going on with the store, and Alicia finally felt like she had something concrete to tell him.

  Jim did look stronger. He was seated in his favorite easy chair when Millie opened the door. Gemma jumped at him as soon as the door opened, yelling “Papa!” and hopping into his lap. Alicia opened her mouth to tell her daughter to go easy, but Millie put a hand on her arm and shook her head. “That’s just what he needs,” she said in a soft voice.

  To cover her original intentions, Alicia shivered. “Brrr. It’s so cold. And I swear that sky looks like snow! You did say I was moving south, didn’t you?”

  “This is central North Carolina, honey.” Millie embraced her. “We may have eighty-degree weather in January and snow in April. But get yourself and that baby in here and warm up!”

  After returning the hug, Alicia hoisted the car seat into the room. Jason looked around with wide blue eyes and a baby grin on his chubby face. Millie clapped her hands. “Ooh, come to Granny, sweet baby. I haven’t had a chance to hold you in ages!”

  “Well, not since yesterday, anyway.” Jim held out a hand to Alicia, and she took it with a squeeze.

  “That doesn’t count.” Millie extricated Jason from the straps and stood. “It was just for a second at the door before your doctor’s appointment. I barely had time for a quick kiss and we had to go.”

  Jim gave his wife an affectionate look, then turned to Alicia with a shrug. “She’s an incurable granny.”

  “Who’d want to cure that?” Alicia kept her expression cheerful in spite of a deep sense of weariness. She’d been up late analyzing the inventory and Jason’s teething troubles had kicked in an hour or so after she’d turned off the computer. After trying and failing to get him back sleep, she’d finally given up and put him in bed with her. Snuggled together, they’d slept until Gemma roused them at six-thirty.

  Millie gave her a sharp look. “You’re not getting enough rest.”

  “I’m fine.” Alicia choked back a yawn. “Really. It’s just Jason’s teething is getting to me. But we’ll get through it.” She checked to make sure Gemma, who was investigating the contents of her
grandfather’s pockets, wasn’t too heavy, and encountered Jim’s direct gaze. She looked away quickly. She’d never been good at lying to Jim and she didn’t want to trouble him and Millie with her sleeping problem. The truth was she didn’t sleep well anyway and hadn’t since Ty’s death.

  Jim grunted and jerked his head at Millie. “Didn’t you say you had cookies in the kitchen, sweetheart?”

  “I do.” Millie shifted Jason’s weight to her other arm and held a hand out to Gemma. “Want to come help me find them?”

  Gemma shook her head and cuddled closer to her grandfather’s chest, clutching a pen. “I want to stay here.”

  Kissing the top of her head, Jim set the little girl firmly on the ground. “Go with Granny, baby-cakes. We’ll cuddle more later. And bring me back a cookie!”

  “Won’t have any left.” Millie took her granddaughter’s hand and waved over her shoulder at her husband as the kitchen door closed behind them.

  Jim squeezed Alicia’s hand again and gave it a tug. “Sit down, honey. You look like you’re going to fall over.”

  Alicia smiled at his loving exaggeration. “Really, I’m fine. Just a little tired, but I’m used to that. Mom’s work, you know.”

  “Made all the harder by not having anybody to share it with.” Jim gave her a canny look, his eyes sorrowful. “My son ought to be here to help you.”

  She fought against the bubble of anguish working its way up her throat. After a moment she summoned enough strength to say, “I miss him. A lot.”

  “Me too.” His rough voice made her look up and he laughed. “Don’t look so surprised. You moms always give each other credit for loving your kids, but not so much the fathers.”

  “That’s not true.” She wondered if it was. “I know Ty loved Gemma and he would have adored Jason. It’s just…” She trailed off, not sure how to complete a sentence she couldn’t imagine uttering.

  “It’s just that he left them.” Jim laced his fingers together and looked at her.