Where the Heart Lies

by Michelle Garren Flye

  “Remember,” Liam said, “you’re talking about the acceleration at the bottommost point, where it’s changing from down to up.” He bounced the ball.

  Alicia hesitated but Liam looked up and beckoned her in. The office was crowded with shelves and piles of paper and journals, but Alicia found a spot in the corner, watching with interest.

  “It should be neither up nor down, shouldn’t it?” the girl said.

  Liam shook his head. “You’re thinking of velocity. At that point velocity is zero. I’m talking about acceleration. Acceleration is the rate of change of velocity.”

  “Oh,” Alicia gasped. Both Liam and the girl looked up at her. Alicia clapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I just got it. I never got it before.”

  Liam laughed. “Well, I’m glad I’m getting through to somebody. Look at this a different way, Claudia. And think about the car going around the corner at the same time.” He threw the ball at the one bare spot on the wall and caught it neatly. “Now, tell me, which way is the ball accelerating at the moment it changes from going that way to coming this way?”

  Claudia frowned at the wall. “This way?” Her voice was tentative.

  “Excellent.” Liam nodded and tossed the ball into the air, catching it without looking. “Now, what is the direction of acceleration at the topmost point?”

  “Down?” Claudia sounded a little more sure of herself.

  “Good!” Liam exclaimed. “Now, watch the ball.” He bounced it on the floor. “What is the direction of acceleration of the ball at the bottommost point?”

  “Up!” Claudia exclaimed. “Oh! I get it now!”

  “Fantastic! Now get lost.” He grinned at her.

  “Thanks, Professor.” To Alicia’s amusement, the girl winked at him as she gathered her books.

  Liam turned to Alicia as Claudia left. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Alicia laughed, exhilarated. “That was awesome. You’re a really good teacher.”

  “You don’t have to sound so surprised.” He moved behind the desk and reached for his bag. “Let’s get out of here. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat before we have to get ready for the reception. There’s never much to eat at these things—or a chance to eat it.”

  “That would be great,” Alicia said, but as she spoke, she reached behind her to close the door. Her fingers trembled a little as she turned the lock. She hadn’t played a game like this in a long time. In fact, she couldn’t be certain the game hadn’t changed completely.

  * * *

  He watched her as she turned from the door. At first it didn’t register in his mind that she’d locked it. How beautiful she was in blue jeans and a rose-colored T-shirt, her long red hair pulled back in a ponytail. He reached out and took her hand, pulling her into his lap. She moved so easily toward him, he knew that was where she’d planned to go, straddling him in the chair. He reached behind her head and let her hair loose as she bent to kiss him, and he slid his hands down her back to her hips, pulling her more firmly to him.

  She moved against him. Her desire mirrored his own, and his doubts faded as they kissed, lips and tongues meeting and parting, his hands moving beneath her T-shirt. When he touched her bare skin, she gasped, a soft cry of ecstasy that threatened to make him forget they were in his office, behind a paper-thin door with who knew how many graduate students outside, probably listening at the keyhole.

  Not to mention who she was.

  Not to mention whose wife she was.

  He withdrew his hands, and she looked down at him and then they were kissing again and in another minute he’d completely lose himself in her. “We’ve got to stop,” he said as she drew away for a moment. She froze. “I don’t want to,” he added, sensing how hurt she would be if he rejected her now.

  She laughed softly, moving her pelvis against his. “I know.”

  He moaned and reached out to hold her still. “We have to stop. Not here.” As he spoke, he stood and set her gently on the desk, kissing her again before reluctantly moving away. “Jesus. I want you so much.”

  She crossed her long legs and frowned at him. “You say that like you regret it.”

  He paused in the act of reaching for his bag. “What do you mean?”

  “You say you want me, but it’s like you wish you didn’t. What’s going on, Liam?”

  He turned back and smiled, trying to be reassuring. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Is it?” She stood, straightening her T-shirt. “We’ve been flirting with this for weeks, maybe months. You’re the best friend I’ve had since Ty died, the only person I can really talk to, but you treat me like I’m untouchable.” She paused, took a step toward him so they were only inches apart and looked up at him. He caught his breath at the depth and beauty of her hazel eyes, and she took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. “Even when you’re touching me.”

  He searched for an answer, wanting desperately to come up with some reply that would reassure her, but finally he just put his other hand behind her head, bent and kissed her, trying to put his unuttered replies into his lips. She relaxed and moved closer. After several seconds, he drew away.

  “Okay?” At her nod, he rose, keeping hold of her hand. “Then let’s go get some dinner.”

  * * *

  They ate at a small restaurant in an old house a few blocks away from campus. The chef came out with the check and spoke to Liam personally, his eyes flicking over Alicia with appreciation but without any real anticipation of ever seeing her again. She smiled as Liam turned back to her. “How long have you been bringing your dates here? And for the sake of all the gods, Liam, how quickly do you go through them?”

  He looked amused. “Are you threatened?”

  “Of course not.” She tossed her head.

  “Good.” He looked at the check and took several bills from his wallet, placing them in the folder, then faced her. “I’ve brought a lot of women here. But I’ve never been with a woman who meant as much to me as you do.”

  The waitress picked up the folder with a flirtatious smirk at Liam. He didn’t notice, his gaze still locked on Alicia’s.

  After several seconds, she took a last sip from her wineglass and stood as the waitress handed him the folder. “Let’s go.”

  * * *

  He took her to the suite he’d reserved for her at the Carolina Inn. When he led her past the desk to the elevators, she gave him a questioning look. Without answering, he stepped into the elevator and she followed. As the door shut behind them, he handed her the key. “It’s your room. I checked you in early so I could leave my clothes here, but only to give me more time to change before the reception. I promise I expect nothing from you.”

  Gazing at the key in her hand, she imagined spending the night in his arms, waking in the morning with him, making love again before going for a cup of coffee. Maybe he truly didn’t expect anything from her. But what did she expect?

  The room was well appointed. A corner suite, the windows overlooked Cameron Avenue. At the moment, a steady stream of traffic passed by, but Alicia suspected it was normally a much quieter scene. She looked out the window to her right. Liam came to stand behind her.

  “That’s Peabody across the street,” he said. “Beyond that is Phillips, where I have my office.”

  She nodded, leaning back against him. He put an arm around her waist and turned his head to nuzzle her ear. She tilted her head to the side and he obliged by kissing her bared neck. “We’re not going to make it to the reception at this rate,” he said, both arms around her waist now.

  “That won’t work,” she said.

  “No?” He turned her to face him, looking into her eyes.

  “No,” she said. “I bought a brand new dress to wear tonight and I look really good in
it. I wanted to impress you.”

  “You think I need to be impressed?” He laughed, bending his head and kissing her deeply. “I’m impressed you exist, my love. I never thought anyone so perfect could live on this earth.”

  She arched one eyebrow. “Now you’re just being silly.”

  “Probably so.” He kissed her again, then released her. “You should go change.”

  She took the garment bag from where he’d laid it on top of the bed, found her cosmetic case in the overnight bag and went into the bathroom. She debated showering and decided she didn’t need to. She washed and dried her face and, as she looked up at herself in the mirror, it struck her quite suddenly what she was planning. She sat on the edge of the bathtub, numb at the realization that the decision about whether or not to make love to Liam was hers alone.

  It wasn’t just that she’d been alone since Ty. The truth was, Ty was the only man she’d ever made love to, the only man she’d ever planned to be with. Though she’d had no old-fashioned notions about saving herself for matrimony, she’d simply never been that close to any man before Ty. Her longest relationship before that had been six months, and she’d never felt serious enough about him to consider going to bed with him.

  With Ty, things had been so different. She’d known how right they were together from the very beginning. On their eighth date, just two months after meeting, they’d made love, and on their six-month anniversary he’d proposed.

  And now she was considering giving to another man what she’d given only to her husband.

  Alicia glanced at the bathroom door, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. She pictured Liam on the other side of the door, probably changing into his tux. If I went to him now, he would make love to me. Her insides felt weak. But am I really ready?

  She stood shakily and looked at herself in the mirror, taking a deep, steadying breath. Liam had said he didn’t expect anything from her. He would kiss her at the door and leave her there for the night without asking any questions. And maybe he would do that anyway. Maybe the ball wasn’t completely in her court. She frowned, then laughed at herself. Maybe she was more ready to move on with her life than she’d believed possible.

  As she dressed, she remembered Liam’s kisses and the way their bodies had fit together in his office that afternoon. She paused, reminding herself that the trust between them was much more important than her desire for him could be. That’s the key. If what she wanted was truly Liam and not just to stop being lonely, she was ready.

  She placed her hands on the sink and caught sight of Ty’s rings on her left hand. For a moment, she hesitated. Then, with a tiny sigh, she slid them off, surprised by how easily they parted from the finger they’d inhabited for so many years. The glint of the diamond was like a tear, but when she looked at the slight indentation on her left ring finger, it seemed right. She kissed the rings and tucked them securely into an inside pocket of her purse.

  * * *

  Liam concentrated on changing into his tuxedo, trying to keep his mind off Alicia dressing in the bathroom. He couldn’t quite keep himself from picturing her slender body.

  He turned away from the door, busying himself with the cufflinks, his tie loose around his neck. Alicia’s beauty was only one of the reasons he had fallen in love with her. Her intelligence and determination in running the bookstore had been part of the attraction, but ironically he had to admit the one thing he found irresistible about her was her faithfulness to Ty’s memory.

  “You were a lucky man, my friend,” Liam said out loud, looking at the sunset as he finally managed to slide the last cufflink into place.

  He heard the click of the bathroom door and turned. Alicia stood there, her slim form sheathed in a simple black dress, a tiny, understated but elegant glitter of diamonds at her throat and ears. Her long red hair fell in waves around her shoulders, set off perfectly by the black dress. She looked like a model or a princess from a fairytale. He swallowed and realized for the first time that Alicia wasn’t Ty’s wife anymore. She didn’t belong to him.

  She didn’t belong to anyone.

  “You look incredible,” he said when he trusted himself to speak.

  “Thank you.” She crossed the room to him, pausing to twirl, modeling the dress for him. Looking at him over her shoulder, she said, “You don’t think I’ll embarrass you?”

  “An embarrassment of riches comes to mind.” He fumbled with his tie.

  She brushed his hands away and took control of the tie herself, looking up at him with an arched eyebrow. “Riches?”

  He smiled. “You know what I mean. Every man in the room will be jealous that I even have the opportunity to show up with you on my arm. Never mind afterward.”

  “Hmm.” She finished with the tie, but let her hands linger on the silk of his shirt. “Afterward.”

  He shrugged. “You know my reputation.”

  “And I’d hate to spoil it.” She looked up at him, her eyes playful.

  He brushed her hair back and looked at her earnestly. “I swear to you I have no expectations of you, sweetheart. I just want to be with you. I’m proud to have the opportunity to be seen with you.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder for a minute, contentment evident in her posture. “Good answer.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The reception was in the Old Well Ballroom of the Carolina Inn. Alicia paused just inside the door, taking in the surroundings with a thrill of admiration. “Wow.”

  Sumptuous was the only word that could describe the room. The parquet floor, graceful chandeliers and plush red carpet on the stairs set the tone; the gold linen-covered tables with bowls of creamy mums finished it.

  “You like it?” Liam looked down at her with a little quirk of a smile.

  “I feel like Cinderella.” She turned completely around so she wouldn’t miss anything. “Gemma would love this.”

  He nodded. “Probably so. We do this instead of a Christmas party. It’s our way of getting the year off to a good start.”

  As he spoke, a well-dressed middle-aged couple approached them. The man shook hands with Liam. “Liam, good to see you.”

  “And you, Peter.” He returned the greeting warmly, nodding to the woman. “Tabitha.”

  She kissed him on the cheek. “You’ve been missed around here, hon.” She paused and gripped his arm, looking at him earnestly. “And thank you for everything you did for Troy this summer.”

  Liam covered her hand with his, a look of unfeigned sympathy on his face. “How is he?”

  “Recovering. He’s out of rehab. We hope he’ll stick with the program this time. Maybe if he’ll agree to having you as his sponsor…”

  “I meant it when I made the offer.” Liam nodded. “I know where he is because I’ve been there myself.”

  Alicia stood dumbly by his side as so many of her questions were answered by the short exchange. So this was why Liam had come back to Chapel Hill in the middle of the summer. She wondered who Troy was and how Liam knew him. He was obviously important to these people, who Alicia already liked just for the way they treated Liam. And whatever had happened to him had been important or traumatic enough for Liam to miss Jim’s funeral.

  “We’re being so rude, darling.” Tabitha tugged on her husband’s sleeve and turned to Alicia. She held out her hand. “I’m Tabitha Ravenel and this is my husband Peter.”

  “Tabitha and Peter are associate professors,” Liam said, placing a hand on the small of Alicia’s back as he made the introductions. “This is Alicia Galloway, an old friend of mine.”

  Peter raised his eyebrows. “Well, any friend of Liam’s is welcome here, especially such a lovely one.”

  “Not that we’d expect anything less of Liam.” Tabitha gave Alicia a measuring look. “Are you the one who’s kept Liam out of trouble all summer?”
>
  Alicia opened her mouth and hesitated. How to answer such a direct question? “I, um…”

  “Yes.” Liam closed his hand over hers. “You are. She is.” He turned to the other two, who nodded knowingly at each other.

  “You don’t know how good it is to see Liam happy at last.” Tabitha shook her head. “I was starting to think he’d never settle down.”

  Liam rolled his eyes. “Speaking of which, we should all settle down at a table, shouldn’t we?”

  “You’re at the table in the center, with us.” Peter pointed. “Go make yourselves comfortable and we’ll join you in a few.”

  Liam took Alicia’s arm. As he led her to the table, she let the thoughts percolate in her head, finally turning to him as he held her chair for her. “Is Troy their son?”

  He helped her push her chair in and sat next to her before answering. “He is.”

  “How old is he?”

  “Eighteen. I guess you’ve figured out I was helping them through a rough time with him when I was in Chapel Hill when Jim died.”

  “I wondered about that at the time. But then you came back and the store burned down, and—” She stopped, frowning. “I’ve been pretty selfish, haven’t I? It never really occurred to me to wonder what I was taking you away from. The only thing that mattered was that I needed you and then you were there.”

  He took her hand and scooted his chair a little closer to hers. “You had a lot on your mind. And I didn’t really want to tell everybody about this whole Troy thing. He’s a kid, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing to his life yet. I’ve been there. He’s lucky to have parents who care enough to try to get him help, though, instead of leaving him to sort it out himself.”