Finding Glory

by Sara Arden

  “You could destroy him. You could break everything he’s built for himself.”

  “I’ll do my part.” His words burrowed deeper, stirring things they had no business stirring. Giving breath to ideas that were better off dormant and light to hopes better left in the dark.

  “It’s more than that. More than the investors. More than doing your part. You’re a piece of his past. A past that he’s tried to make peace with, but a reminder of who he used to be and all the bad things that went with that.”

  “There were good things, too.” She hadn’t forgotten those and she knew that he hadn’t, either.

  “You should tell him that.”

  “Why? As a member of the top of the food chain, why would you ever suggest anyone show their weakness?”

  “Is it really a weakness to tell a man that you can see how far he’s come and that the past doesn’t have to overshadow the future?”

  When he phrased it like that, no. But when she factored in all of her feelings, her wants, it was terrifying and left her terribly vulnerable. She’d worked too hard to pull herself out of the gutter too. She just couldn’t.

  “Think about it.”

  “I’m thinking I don’t like Natasha Wallingford.” She watched as Reed glided with her around the floor and laughed at the things she said, the way the woman tilted herself into him.

  Gray laughed. “No one does. But she owns the last piece of property that we need for this deal. Then we’re taking the company public. It’ll be a good thing. Both for the health and longevity of the company, and for Amanda Jane’s trust.”

  Reed and Natasha wound their way over and up close, Gina couldn’t help but notice that the woman was actually quite lovely.

  “Darling,” she said, addressing her directly. “I’d like to trade you, if you don’t mind. This one can’t stop looking at you and he’s playing hell with my ego.” She gave her a genuine smile.

  This was at odds with the impression she’d first had of the woman and what Gray said about no one liking her didn’t make sense. She was actually rather charming.

  “Thank you. This one,” she said, using Natasha’s phrasing, “is playing hell with my ego, too. A switch is in order.”

  “Delighted.” Natasha grinned.

  Gray shrugged and took the sharp woman in his arms.

  “Really, we should do lunch. I mean, trading men warrants a cucumber sandwich or two, don’t you think?”

  She didn’t know what to say, so she agreed. “Come to Glory. Best bakery in Kansas.”

  “Oh, honey, I don’t eat carbs.”

  “You don’t eat these. You experience them.”

  Natasha seemed intrigued. “You’ve got my attention. I’ll have my secretary get in touch.”

  Reed led her away. “So you have plans with a princess and a shark. Thanks for saving me.”

  “Why don’t you like her?”

  “She’s terrifying.”

  “Gray seems like he should be able to handle her.”

  “They have a history.”

  “I think Gray has a history with every woman. Except me.

  “And Emma,” she added helpfully. “I think they’re going to have history.”

  “Glad I’m not the only one. I think it would be good for them.”

  “You sound like my grandmother.”

  “That’s really not what a man wants to hear from the woman on his arm.”

  She laughed easily. “No, but you do know that my grandmother fancies herself some kind of matchmaker, right? She and her friends.”

  “Oh, obviously.” He nodded with a grin. “But I understand where she’s coming from. She wants the people she loves to be taken care of. And she doesn’t want them to be alone.”

  “Alone isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

  “That’s true. But would you want that for Amanda Jane? I mean, if positions were reversed. If you were the grandmother and Amanda Jane was you?”

  “I suppose I would be a bit eager.” She shrugged. “But still, I think it would be interesting to see what would happen if we sic Grams on them. I bet she’d have them married, too.”

  “Actually, I think Emma would be really good for Gray.”

  “So now you want to play matchmaker?”

  “Sure. Why not? It’d be a cute story to tell their kids. They met on opposite sides of the aisle in the courtroom.”

  “I think you’re a romantic at heart,” she teased.

  “You didn’t know that?” He didn’t bother to try and hide it.

  “I didn’t.” She found herself staring into his eyes way too long and much too earnestly.

  “You haven’t asked to see the house,” he said, finally.

  “I haven’t had time. This is all happening so fast.” Gina smiled at her own words. “I sound like some silly girl, don’t I? Oh, Mr. Hollingsworth,” she mocked herself.

  “Not at all.” He smiled down at her. “Would you like to?”

  She thought about what it meant. This was going home with him. What would happen?

  What did she want to happen?

  Or maybe this was all much more innocent than she’d made it out to be. Maybe he just wanted to show her the place where she and Amanda Jane would be living.

  “Yes. If we can be done here, I’ll go anywhere you want me to.”

  He laughed. “I think Gray can handle the rest of it. No one would begrudge me leaving early to spend time with my lovely fiancée.” He eyed her. “Speaking of, have you talked with Amanda Jane about this?”

  “It seems my grams took care of it.”

  “Good. I was worried. She said something to me and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

  “Me, too. She said you’d talked.”

  “I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw her, you know. She looked up at me and that was it. I thought I’d have to get to know her, but I’d do anything for her. Do you know that?”

  “I do know how that feels.” She nodded and teared up. Gina hoped her makeup wasn’t running down her face. “And I wanted that for her. From you.”

  He seemed as though he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled out his phone and called for the car.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  REED WASN’T SURE how he was going to keep his hands off her. He liked touching her, loved having her in his arms. More men would take dancing lessons if they knew what it was like to have a woman in their arms like that.

  He wanted to touch her again. Wanted to hold her. Wanted to have her pressed against him, soft and sweet.

  No, if he was being totally honest, he wanted her pressed beneath him, hair splayed out behind her and her cheeks pink from— He had to stop thinking of her that way. This whole idea of marriage wasn’t about their relationship. They didn’t have a relationship, at least outside Amanda Jane. This wasn’t fair to either of them—and especially not to his daughter. There was more at stake here than some heated attraction.

  But with her close to him in the dark, the partition up between their space and the driver, it was like a little alcove. A world secret and outside their own. Especially with the way she leaned into him.

  He slipped his arm around her. “Thank you for tonight.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “You did. You showed up. You interacted. You were your charming self. Everyone adored you and everyone is sure this is a love match. It’s just what we needed.”

  She patted his arm. “I’m glad.”

  The death knell. Patting his arm. As if he was a kid who’d done something cute. He had to stop thinking of her this way. Had to stop imagining something was there that wasn’t. Or even if it was, it couldn’t go anywhere. Not unless they could gua
rantee forever.

  Not unless they could guarantee Amanda Jane forever. Sure, they were getting married, but it was a piece of paper, a business venture. If things progressed between him and Gina, there were emotional repercussions for all of them.

  He took her hand anyway, liking the feel of her skin against his. “I need to buy you a ring.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “I do. Part and parcel.” He wanted to see it on her finger.

  “A plain gold band is fine. The best really. I’ll have practicals and be washing my hands, wearing gloves...”

  “When will you let me spoil you?”

  “When will you believe that while this is about money, it’s about money for Amanda Jane. Not me.”

  “I know that. I do.”

  “I want to begin as I intend to carry on.”

  “That’s probably for the best.” He released her hand.

  “I wish I could do that.”

  “What?”

  “Fit so easily into that world. Be so comfortable.”

  “You charmed Natasha.”

  “She said you kept looking at me. Were you worried Gray was going to make me angry?”

  “Not really. I just liked looking at you,” he confessed.

  “I liked looking at you, too. You should wear a tux all the time.”

  He laughed and might have preened just a little. “If it pleases you.”

  “Can we really do this? Can we join our lives like this? We don’t have to, you know? The judge can’t demand we get married. If we work out custody and...”

  “That’s what Gray said. But this is really the best thing for the company and for Amanda Jane. She’ll have a secure, stable household. And so will you. She’ll have access to both of us anytime she wants it.” He took a deep breath and asked the real question. “Would it really be so bad being married to me?”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “The prenup is there to protect you, too.”

  “Not of that. Of having feelings that I shouldn’t. Of being easy and convenient, not real.”

  He was so glad that it was about that for her, too. “You are the furthest thing from convenient, Gina.” He pulled her just a little closer, and he didn’t encounter any resistance. “I’m afraid of the same things. If we cross a line because we’re playing house, there’s more at stake than just our feelings. Marriage will keep us in the same house, but we both know what it’s like when both people aren’t invested.”

  “I would never want that for her.”

  “Me, either. But right now? We’re both invested in her. I guess I didn’t ask, but was there someone you wanted to date? Someone you have feelings for? You can tell me, Gina. I’m not going to be a dick.”

  No, he wouldn’t be a dick, but he still anxiously waited for her answer.

  “No. There’s no one.”

  Relief swept over him. “Then we’ll have our family. It’ll be a different kind of family, but it will be ours.” He rested his chin on the top of her head and inhaled the scent of her shampoo. “Hers.”

  “You said I could be honest. Right now, this feels more than platonic.”

  He knew he should release her. Should let go, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. And she wasn’t pulling away.

  “Two beautiful people alone in the dark after champagne and glittering lights? Of course it does.”

  Neither of them moved away and they rode together in silence until the car pulled up to the house on Knob Hill.

  “We talked about this house when we were kids.”

  “I told you someday I’d live here.” Reed had always dreamed big, even when he was lower than the gutter.

  “And now you do.”

  “So do you,” he added.

  “That’s going to take a while to sink in.”

  He held the door for her and helped her out of the car and dismissed the driver. Reed led her inside.

  She looked up at the arches, eyes wide. “I never thought I’d see the inside of this house. Let alone live here.”

  “Do you want to see your rooms? Amanda Jane’s is here,” he said when he led her up the stairs.

  What he really wanted was to show her his room. His bed. The pleasure he could give her with his fingers, his mouth...his tongue. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to watch her face as she savored the pleasure he’d give her.

  He opened the door on the opposite side of the hall. “This is yours. The furniture that’s there came with the house. You can do it up any way you like.”

  It wasn’t just one room, it was a suite of rooms. Almost like her own apartment. There was a sitting room area, a bedroom, a walk-in closet that was as big as their whole trailer had been as a kid.

  It even had a wet room—complete with a waterfall wall of showers and a Roman-style bath that could hold four people. She could practically swim in it.

  There was even a small alcove off the sitting area that had been closed off with glass doors and there was a desk and bookshelves inside. A little office.

  It was lush, extravagant.

  But it had been toned down, too. She knew with his money, he could’ve done so much more. He did more where it mattered. Like the high-end computer, the latest medical references on the bookshelves... Those were the things that mattered to her. Those were the things that touched her.

  She ran her fingers carefully over the back of the couch in the sitting room area, but suddenly, there was a tension in the room, a weight. They both felt it.

  Gina turned to face him and almost as if they were moving through water, they were drawn together slowly. He liked how easily she came into his arms, the way she fit against him.

  That electricity sizzled between them again and he could feel the undeniable pull of her lips.

  “Do you feel it?” she asked and searched his eyes. “We’re poised at the edge of something and I think I’m going to fall off the ledge.”

  “I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.”

  “I don’t think either one of us has power over that.” Her lips were parted as she took a deep, slow breath.

  “Maybe not.” He spoke to keep his mouth busy, instead of kissing her.

  “We’re trusting each other right now, aren’t we?” She wet her lips.

  “Yes, I think so.” God, he wanted her so bad. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything.

  “Remember when you told me that we could tell each other things and you weren’t going to ‘pounce on me’ just because I’d thought about something?”

  “I remember.” Oh, did he remember. He was so hard right now, there was no way that she didn’t know it.

  “I’m thinking about it now. About you kissing me. I can’t stop thinking about it. I think about how good it could be.”

  “Are you asking me to kiss you?” He needed her to say it, had to know it was really what she wanted.

  “Yes. No.” She lifted her chin higher, bringing her face closer to his. “I don’t know. If I wanted you to kiss me, would you?”

  She was killing him ever so slowly. They were moving into dangerous territory because she was offering him everything he wanted with both hands. He wasn’t naive enough to take it at face value, though. Her needs weren’t to be kissed, they were to feel safe. At least at the moment. He knew that.

  “That’s not what you want, Gina.”

  “It’s not? How do you know?” She lifted her chin in rebellion, but it brought her lips ever closer to his own.

  “Because I’ve done the work on myself.” He brushed his lips against her forehead. “And I know that right now, you want to feel anything else than the fear.”

  She leaned back to give him the perfect angle. “And we can trust each other now, right? That we can have a moment
of something that just feels good with no other bullshit attached?”

  “I like how you’re calling relationships and expectations bullshit. But I don’t think that’s how you really feel.”

  “You know what I mean, Reed.”

  “I do.”

  And he knew better, but that didn’t stop the slow arc of descent as he pressed his lips against hers. There was an undeniable magnetic polarity between them, this collision inevitable.

  She tasted of sweet mint, of memory and possibility.

  Gina shifted and drew him to that plain, beige couch and she straddled him. Her breath hitched in a gasp when the hard length of his erection was pressed so intimately against her.

  “Still want to kiss me?” he asked, offering her a way out and half hoping she’d take it.

  Reed was under no illusions that this would lead to sex, or was anything more than momentary comfort or distraction on her part. He wouldn’t let it. He didn’t want there to be regrets between them. After all the times she’d cared for him, this time, he could take care of her.

  “Yes. But I’m scared of this, too. When did I turn into such a coward?” Her words came in a breathy whisper.

  “You’re one of the bravest and strongest women I know, Gina.”

  She leaned down, her dark hair brushing against his cheek like silk, and pressed her lips to his. “Your kisses are as pretty as your words.”

  “You’re killing me.” He twisted his fingers in her hair. “Especially since I know that when you tell me to stop, when you’re done being scared, you’ll wish this hadn’t happened.”

  She cupped his cheek. “It can’t go any further than this, but this is just a kiss. A kiss never hurt anyone, right?”

  It could hurt him. Because it was Gina. It was taking out the things he dreamed of in the quiet and the dark and playing with them, dressing them up and leaving them like discarded toys when they were done.

  But he wouldn’t tell her no.

  This was what she needed and if he was being honest with himself, it was what he needed, too.

  He needed a connection with someone, and he definitely had that with Gina. It was more than touch, more than desire, it was something on a deeper level. And it felt too damn good.