Finding Glory

by Sara Arden

  The little girl was dressed in pink, with matching shoes that clicked on the hardwood floor when she walked. Which was one of her favorite things to do.

  She clicked and clacked merrily up and down the hallway while Grams and Emma fussed over Gina, painted her face and curled her hair.

  She wondered if it was much the same for Reed, minus the makeup and hair curling. Gina tried to imagine Gray fussing over him and it just didn’t present a very believable picture.

  Knots twisted in her belly.

  “Don’t be nervous, Gina-bee. It’s just Daddy.”

  Just Daddy. Yeah. Sometimes that little girl was so spot-on with her observations. “I’m not nervous,” she fibbed.

  Emma cocked a brow. “Then why are you pacing? You’ve been ready for ten minutes.”

  “I don’t want to be early.”

  “You don’t want to be late, either. It’s not too late. I can still drive you to the movies instead.” Emma grinned.

  “No, I want to do this.”

  “Then let’s get to doing it.”

  The ride over was quick; she could’ve walked. But no one would hear of it.

  When they arrived, she was surprised to see a small crush of news vans and when they saw her, they darted for her, but Glory’s finest was on point, keeping them from access.

  She hadn’t expected that.

  “He is a billionaire, Gina. Did you forget?”

  “Maybe.” She sucked in a deep breath.

  “Everyone wants to know who captured him. The sweet girl from his misspent youth and that’s how they’ll play it. That’s how you should, too.”

  “Like he’s some kind of exotic animal? He’s a person.”

  “Yeah, good thing you see that. A lot of those people don’t. Remember that.”

  When the small chamber doors closed behind her, she saw Reed. He was wearing a tux again, this time with a rose pinned to his lapel, and he was holding a single bloom, which he offered to her.

  For some reason, she wanted to cry. She didn’t know if they were happy tears, sad tears or a bittersweet mix. She was wearing her mother’s dress, marrying the man she used to dream about, and indeed, she could feel the warmth of her family around her. Her mother, even her sister... It touched her grief too intimately, but it shored her up, as well. It was such a strange feeling.

  Helga was wearing the robes and doily again, and her stern face was in place, almost like a mask.

  She knew the woman spoke, but it was as if there was a kind of disconnect between her ears and her brain. Between her brain and everything, in fact, but the man who stood next to her. He was so confident and serene. So totally sure of himself.

  Gina wondered if she were the only one who was afraid, whose knees were jelly and whose insides were all twisted up.

  She wondered if he felt any of the same doubts, fears and hopes as she did.

  This was nothing like how she’d imagined getting married, but it was okay. It wasn’t a real marriage. It was a just a contract. A simple piece of paper that bound them together for the sake of Amanda Jane.

  That was how she had to think of it. Otherwise, it would break her heart. She’d dreamed of more for herself.

  But maybe this was enough for now. It was enough to know that Amanda Jane would be cared for. Enough to know that she’d have two loving parents. She deserved that.

  She was determined not to start this new chapter in her life with doubt and fear in the forefront of her mind. Gina had to remind herself it was okay to be hopeful, it was okay—vital even—to find something to be happy about.

  Gina took a deep breath and looked up at this man with whom she’d entered into this contract. It was the right thing.

  So that made it a good thing, right?

  When he descended for the obligatory kiss, any thought she had of denying him or presenting her cheek fled. This was her husband—for better, for worse. For pretend and for real.

  When their mouths met, even for just the casual brush of lips, sparks ignited and exploded into something more.

  “For a second there, I thought you were going to say no,” he whispered.

  “I’m here. It’s done. It’s real,” she said, more to herself than to anyone else.

  “Are you ready to meet the press, Mrs. Hollingsworth?”

  “I am,” Amanda Jane piped up. “I have on my prettiest dress and my clackiest shoes.”

  It was utterly surreal and Gina would be glad when things returned to normal. Or perhaps better to say, when they found normal.

  She wondered if this was how the princess and the ranger felt, with cameras and microphones shoved in their faces.

  Gina wasn’t prepared for this part. There’d been a bit of it at the fund-raiser event, but it hadn’t been this crass, this...immediate. She wanted to hide Amanda Jane. Wanted to keep her from them, but she chattered happily and showed them her shiny shoes and her dress.

  She managed to smile and wave, but was utterly grateful when Gray stepped forward.

  “See, this is why we have him,” Reed whispered in her ear.

  “That’s enough questions for the happy couple. They’re leaving on their honeymoon and I’m sure you don’t want to disturb them.”

  They took that as their cue to exit and while there were some who tried to question them on the way to the car, it was simply a matter of ignoring them until they were secured in the limo.

  “Where are we going on our moon-honey?” Amanda Jane asked, crawling into the car.

  “You mean a honeymoon?” Gina asked.

  “Grams said something about sweet mooning.”

  Reed grinned. “Well, that’s something that people do when they get married. They don’t generally take Amanda Janes with them.”

  “Oh.” She seemed to consider this for a moment. “If you promise to take me to Sippin’ Cider Days when you get back, you can go without me.”

  “We don’t want to go anywhere without you,” Gina rushed to reassure her.

  “Isn’t that what mommy and daddies do?”

  “Sometimes. But we do what we want to do, how we want to do it.” Reed fielded the question deftly.

  Gina had to admit, he’d gotten good at this. He’d taken to it so easily.

  “But it’s okay to want to do it like everyone else, too, right?”

  She couldn’t help but be pleased that she’d stumped him with that one. “I suppose it is. Only if you can balance fitting in with good sense.”

  “Good sense,” Amanda Jane repeated like a mantra.

  “I thought we’d stay home for our mooning honey. Have a sleepover with popcorn?”

  “And unicorns?” she asked doubtfully.

  “Unicorns can come.” Reed shrugged.

  “I mean, can we watch the unicorn movie?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “Okay. But I still want to go to Sippin’ Cider Days.”

  “We’ll go to all the days,” Reed promised her.

  She sat back against the seat and curled one hand into Reed’s and one into Gina’s and swung her legs contentedly.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  WAKING UP WITH nowhere in particular to be on a Saturday was foreign to Gina. She felt as though there had to be something to do. There was some minor unpacking, but she’d put most of her things in storage and had donated the rest.

  She liked that they’d spent their first few nights together as a family unit, focused on Amanda Jane. That was how it should be. That’s why they’d done all of this—for her. So it was only right that their time together be about the child and not about the heat between them.

  It was a relief actually, to not be afraid of pouncing on him like some sort of rabid animal in heat.

  The best part wa
s that Amanda Jane seemed to have settled in with no problem at all.

  A small face peeked up over the edge of her bed, interrupting her thoughts. “Wanna go on a picnic?”

  Amanda Jane was already dressed and had an empty picnic basket at the ready.

  Gina was kind of enjoying not having to move anything, but it was nice to be able to tell her niece yes instead of telling her that she had to work, she had to rest or she had to study.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll get Daddy.”

  For all of her constant thinking about him, she’d forgotten that he was now a part of everything that Amanda Jane did or wanted to do. She kind of missed the one-on-one time, but she supposed that having a dad was something Amanda Jane was still getting used to and enjoying.

  “Okay. Let me brush my teeth and get dressed.”

  After getting ready in a pair of shorts, a T-shirt and trainers, she went downstairs to find Reed and Amanda Jane waiting for her.

  Reed was wearing a pair of jeans that should in no way ever be legal on a man. They reminded her of things that she shouldn’t be thinking about—like just what exactly was under that zipper.

  Above the waist wasn’t any safer. He was wearing another of those damn shirts with the guy on the horse stitched on the chest. The way it accentuated his shoulders, it just wasn’t fair.

  “Hey, sunshine. You ready to go?” He cocked his head to the side.

  “I didn’t know we’d decided where we were going?”

  “I thought we’d take the new walking trails and go downtown. Maybe take Amanda Jane to the carousel museum and eat by the river?”

  “That sounds really nice.”

  “I’ll make the picnic,” Amanda Jane volunteered.

  “I’ll help,” Gina offered.

  “No, no. No help. We’re going to celebrate. I made a cake,” she called down the hallway as she skipped to the kitchen.

  She cut a sharp glance to Reed. “What are we celebrating?” Then in a lower tone, “Tell me you didn’t let her bake by herself.”

  “No. Maybe.” He looked sheepish. “It’s a microwave cake. One of those individual snack things. I supervised.

  “That basket looks heavy. I’ll carry it,” Reed said.

  The walking path from Knob Hill to downtown was about two miles. She was sure she’d be carrying Amanda Jane on the way back. But it was a nice stroll. There were other people out and about, enjoying the weather and the scenery.

  Some nodded to them as they passed and Gina tried to find a smile for each person. She couldn’t help but feel as if they were judging her and Reed, but for Amanda Jane’s sake, she smiled.

  She supposed that the old adage was true—no one could make you feel inferior without you giving them permission.

  But she did feel inferior. She knew where she came from and knew where Reed came from and people in small towns had long memories.

  Gina wanted to ask Reed why he’d chosen to come back here instead of moving on, but she didn’t want to have that conversation in front of Amanda Jane.

  Although, it made her think of other conversations they’d have to have.

  Like what exactly the nature was of her mother’s sickness and Reed’s. She’d have to spell it out for her and soon. Kids could be cruel and everyone she’d go to school with would’ve already heard about all of Reed and Crystal’s mistakes from their parents before the first day.

  She wanted Amanda Jane to know what she was up against and she didn’t want the girl to ever give anyone her permission to make her feel bad because she was enough. She belonged. Even if those who raised her didn’t.

  “Where’s the fire?” Reed asked her.

  “Oh, sorry. I just...” She let the sentence hang.

  And he seemed to just know. He nodded. “We can do this. They’ll get used to us. To me. And if we keep smiling and keep being the billionaire and the up-and-coming doctor with the sweet little girl, it will all be fine. I promise you.”

  “I was just thinking about that. Respectability.”

  “You’ve always had that in spades.”

  “No, I had pity. I was the poor little dirty girl whose big brain was wasted because of my circumstances. I was a teacher-of-the-year award. Someone to write an article about. I was never a person for my own sake.”

  “But we can be.”

  “If not for Amanda Jane, I wouldn’t care.” She lifted her chin.

  “I would.” Reed paused. “I want them to know they’re wrong. Not just for me, but for everyone else who comes after.”

  “Who knew you were such a philanthropist.”

  “Yeah, odd that.” Reed laughed, the corners of his mouth curling in a smirk.

  She looked down to see that Amanda Jane had picked up a small collection of twigs, rocks and various items from the trail.

  “What are you going to do with those?”

  “Start a fire. Just in case we get lost.”

  “You’ve been watching too many of those survivor documentaries.” Gina frowned.

  “Nothing wrong with being prepared.” Reed indulged her.

  “Picnic first and then carousel?” Amanda Jane asked.

  The carousel museum had a working carousel outside and it was one of the main attractions. Children and adults could ride to their hearts’ content for a donation. It was one of Amanda Jane’s favorite places.

  “Whatever you want,” Reed agreed.

  “Carousel.” Her eyes narrowed, as if she’d just gotten away with something.

  And if that was the extent of Amanda Jane’s rebellion, they’d be lucky. Gina was half-afraid that whatever it was in Reed and Crystal both that made them want to obliterate reality would be doubly strong in Amanda Jane. But thus far, that child had her feet anchored to the ground more firmly than any child should.

  Gina wondered if that was her fault. If maybe she’d been so focused on what might happen that she hadn’t let her niece be a child.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” Reed said to her.

  “I was just thinking that when you buy a Blu-ray player, it comes with a hundred-page instruction manual, but when you get a child, all you get is a little card on how to care for their belly button and an extra diaper. Kids should come with instructions.”

  “They do.”

  She arched a brow. “How so? Who wrote it?”

  “You did. When you were a kid. You think about how you’d want to be treated and cared for and you do it.”

  “You’re oversimplifying it.”

  “I don’t know, seems to be working for you so far.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere.” She grinned.

  “Good to know.” Something about his smile changed. It wasn’t just that laid-back, easygoing grin. There was something seductive in it now, something that made her feel as though it was for her and her alone.

  “I can hear the music!” Amanda Jane’s eyes were wide with excitement.

  Gina noticed that the faint strains of calliope music echoed up the path. “We’re almost there.”

  “This is the best day.”

  They proceeded to enjoy their time on the carousel; Amanda Jane staying on the painted white horse for two full turns. After that, they settled down in a nice spot by the river to eat the lunch that Amanda Jane had packed for them.

  She’d been right earlier when she said that this had been the best day. Gina felt...happy. It wasn’t exactly a new sensation, but it was rare enough that she took the time to really enjoy the moment.

  And she realized Reed was right about Amanda Jane being so much like her. Gina thought about her playing, and how even that had seemed to be something on a to-do list. She’d have to work on that.

  Little moments that seemed insignificant were the things th
at made up the treasured memories in the future.

  Like right now. The sky was wide and blue, much like her niece’s eyes. The sun poured over them in warm, golden waves and they were all together. Gina didn’t have to worry about how she was going to pay the bills or if they could eat more meals at Bullhorn with her discount so she could save on school supplies in the fall.

  They could just be in the moment.

  Amanda Jane flung herself onto her back in the grass.

  “What are you doing?” Reed asked her.

  “Making a grass angel.”

  Her first thought was to say making a stain, but then Amanda Jane would stop and Gina didn’t want her to stop. She wanted her to enjoy the sensation of the grass tickling her skin, the sun on her face and the good feelings that made her want to make a grass angel.

  Reed didn’t hesitate. He threw himself on his back right next to her without a care for his clothes, his hair or how he looked to any passersby.

  Something pricked sharp behind her eyes.

  So far, he’d been everything she’d wanted when she dreamed of what a father should be like. Maybe this would all work, after all.

  Maybe they could give this thing that had started between them a chance. This kind of life, a family unit, was what both of them had always wanted but been afraid to reach for.

  Gina joined them on her back, staring up at the sky. When she remembered this moment, she wanted to be a participant, not an observer.

  “We have a grass-angel family,” Amanda Jane said.

  She and Reed turned to each other over the girl’s golden head and their eyes met. Yes, that expression seemed to say, this was a family.

  Reed was the first to offer her a tender smile and she returned it—her heart overflowing with hope and maybe the first tendril sprouts of what might be love.

  This was what she was afraid of, but it was what she wanted, too.

  “Everything okay here?” A shadow loomed over the grass-angel family.

  Gina looked up to see Sheriff Judd Wilson.

  “Why do you wear a cowboy hat?” Amanda Jane asked.

  “To remind myself and the people of this town that I’m old-school.”