Hidden Carmina

by Adri Sinclair

  He folds over with laughter, slapping his leg as he tries to regain air into his lungs.

  “You did not?! O, my girl, you are a treat. Perhaps you can read the next book with him? That would be a start in setting things right. Just wait till my wife hears this!”

  I giggle along with him and we speak for a while longer about other myths I know about. Uncle Will seems taken with my knowledge on specific subjects. He questions me, debates and argues over certain aspects and I am having a great time. Eventually, Uncle Will gets up and ruffles my hair.

  “Your babysitter is back. I am going to hide before those dreadful women get hold of me.” He winks and slip out the door like a thief with the best loot, or story to tell, ever.

  Wedding

  Days flow into weeks. I cannot say it was an easy month for our family. Exhaustion was clearly written all over the faces at the dinner tables and it is obvious that winter is upon us. The days started dark and faded to shadows earlier than usual. Life was good for our family and the courtyard was a constant hive of activities. The wedding preparations took their toll on everyone as we fitted it in and around the day-to-day running of our Village production lines.

  The Moretti family is woven into the fabric of our current existence and there is no reason not to be in high spirits with the first snow expected to fall overnight. Momma and Lady E are a powerhouse of teamwork and things happen under their supervision in the exact manner that they should. When you are called upon by either of them, you know your elbow from your toes.

  Days are filled with chores and tasks while nights are filled with Liam as my own Sandman to the absolute appreciation of the family. I have never known how much of an impact my night terrors had on the kinfolk until now. They have never complained nor muttered about it in the past but over the weeks, I have stumbled upon random conversations expressing how lovely it is not to worry about me having those dreams. I felt tremendously guilty. To do my part, I donned those distressing shoes day in and day out devoting an hour walking in them up and down the aisle built specifically for the wedding. Admittedly, the shoes were an outstanding choice for the design of my dress. I wasn’t sure how it would all work together, knowing the long, flowing dress could catch under a heel at any point and my nerves were wrecked. When I expressed this to Lilly, she had the perfect solution. Lilly made a skirt for me to the exact length of the dress to wear when I’m practicing with the shoes. To my surprise, she also announced that Liam would be walking with me behind her. John will be at Jarrod’s side as his best man, and it will be Momma giving her away at the altar.

  Practice

  I watch the snowfall from my window and the vivid memory of the former dream threatens to stab at the last ounce of control I can muster. It is still dark outside, apart from the few lights in the village still burning. Today will be the day where everything either falls into place… or falls apart. I climb off the desk and start pacing my room in the practice skirt and shoes. I count the steps to help me concentrate but it does not work. I hear the scraping sounds of the heels across the wooden floor and it scrapes at my nerves, too. When the nausea overwhelms me, I start towards the door. The small steps and the heels connect in an awkward manner and I have to grip the railing to steady myself. The door flies open and it is Liam’s familiar size filling the whole frame.

  “For the life of me, Carmina! You will break your neck and then someone will find a way to blame it on me!” he growls, grabbing me around the wrist. A sense of relief washes over me, feeling the now-familiar clasp of his big hand.

  “I...I need--”

  Liam pulls me into his arms, fast, and rushes me to the bathroom.

  “Go away,” I tell him when he tries to help by holding my hair away from my face “and close the door!”

  The nauseaous feeling passes as soon as Liam is out of sight and I sit on the side of the tub. How embarrassing! Finally, I feel courageous enough to move again and head to the basin to wash my face. When I open the door, Liam is still there with his arms folded over his chest.

  “Come,” he says, and takes my arm. I don’t protest, waddling awkwardly behind him while the shoes mock me by clacking louder as we walk. Liam opens the front door, rolling his eyes at my reluctance to go outside. Pulling me behind him, we make it to the top of the stairs and he pulls my hand through his arm.

  “I won’t let you fall. We’ll practice once and then breakfast, ok?”

  My mouth is too dry to answer and I nod instead.

  “Don’t cling, my Rockflower; I won’t let you fall.” He whispers in my ear and I realize I have a deadly grip on his arm. With effort and will, I force myself to ease up. “Much better. Now slowly, come… I’ll match your steps, so you won’t have to worry.”

  The first step makes a crunching noise under the heel as the ice and snow gives way. I feel myself tense up worse than before. With his free hand, Liam taps the top of my fingers to remind me about loosening the grip. Slowly, we make our way down the stairs, to the courtyard gate and back. I beam at him, not having stumbled or fallen!

  “There you go. See? I won’t let you fall Carmina, I promise,” He assures me before scooping me into his arms and running up the stairs. “I’ll see you at noon, my Rockflower.”

  Feeling much better about the day ahead, I grab a slice of toast and head to my room. It has become a habit to sit right on top of the desk in front of the window. I don’t know why I never thought to move it there before; it is such a lovely view over the courtyard from here!

  ***

  Liam paces back and forth, looking irritable and edgy. There is no motivation behind the sharp pang he feels in the hollow of his chest! Trying to make sense of it all, the sole conclusion he can come to is the persistent thought of them leaving after the wedding. He has no idea whether or not their visit has had the impact they hoped for.

  After visiting with the other houses, they utterly - without exception - denied the request of teaching Carmina anything inside their homes. They agreed about there being more to the girl than they first thought based on the evidence provided and, thus, appointed the Moretti family to direct the whole process of steering Carmina’s quest to information. The final word from the ruling Houses were: “It is your house, your daughter and your responsibility.” In particular, they were surprised and intrigued about the fact that Liam had bonded with the girl in the way he had. It had never happened before in any part of history ever recorded. And they would know - they are Ancients, after all!

  The Moretti family went for a run together before the sun rose and made sure they fed well. While they can stand most human ways, the eating of cooked food has never done them any favors. It is not that they can’t, they just prefer not to if it can be avoided. Arriving back at exactly 15 minutes before the events start, Liam withdraws deep into his own mind and offers no more than automated smiles and greetings. The clouds are hanging thick and heavy over the whole valley and it could not have been any more spectacular if a magic wand was involved. Lilly’s Winter Queen theme is in full swing.

  There is a collective intake of breath as Lilly makes her entrance. She looks like the queen she wanted to be. The bright red flowers all along the carved seating a smashing contrast, the exclusive colors in the white and black gowns of the attendees. Lilly’s rich auburn hair is sleeked back all the way down her waist. Woven into the silky strands are tiny glass shaped bells that sparkle and chime when she moves. She opted for a short veil across her face, leaving the rest of her hair exposed. The snow falling in her hair, adding to the effect, which, as a whole, is perfectly breathtaking! Her crimson red lips set against a powdered, pale face make her look the part of a provocative Monarch. Her dress is cut in a typical Victorian ball gown with the same tear-shaped bells creating a motive of flowers all around the upper layer of the dress, the lower layer as red as the silk flowers pinned to the seats. In her hands, Lilly holds the most delicate arrangement of orchids in white. Jarrod spontaneously falls to one knee the moment his eyes c
onnect with the revelation of his fiancé, both his hands to his chest. He waits for Lilly like a knight waiting on his queen; the gesture impulsive, sincere and not a hint of jesting. A soft murmur flows through the family when Lilly takes a deep breath, looks behind her at Carmina and then wraps her arm through Momma’s. Momma’s a vision of royalty herself, in a pale blue gown, looking proud and greatly emotional. The gentle music starts up to accompany the two women gliding towards the front of the aisle.

  Liam turns to find Carmina behind Lilly, and finds himself frozen in his tracks. He has to force himself to focus and walk towards the woman in his sight rather than run away from her… or worse.

  When Carmina looks up at him, and the full visual impact confronts him dead on; Liam feels himself slipping. Desire, hunger and thirst assault his senses relentlessly.

  “Our girl is a Moretti in the making… Steady on, lad.”

  Liam clenches his jaw when he hears his father’s adoration and firm warning.

  Carmina’s hair has been made to be unerringly as wild and chaotic as Esmeriska’s. A mass of untamed, enflamed wildness wraps around her small face and shoulders, cascading all the way to her midriff. In the frame, her face is dainty, fragile, insipid and her lips as bloodshot as her hair. Liam feels the howl push up into his throat. He swallows frantically, pulling Carmina’s hand through his arm in the same manner he did this morning. The warmth from her touch threatens to unravel him.

  “Liam, hold it together my sweetheart!” Esmeriska speaks calmly, feeling her son’s struggles.

  Liam’s eyes find Carmina’s, and if he had a beating heart, it would have stopped. Her hazel eyes are big, painted in a soft wolf shape and framed by white and black shadows. There is a deep emotional green emanating from those eyes and Liam gulps when he realizes she’s placing her complete trust in him. He looks away, closing his eyes and breathing hard to steady his thoughts.

  “Dad… Mom… I don’t know if I can do this… help me…” His words are filled with pain, passion and an Ancient need.

  “My son, we’re here. None of us expected that! If you need to go…” Will is right next to his son, placing a hand on his shoulder; a father offering strength, a son taking from it.

  “Sweetheart, if you must go, go NOW. We’ll sort this out.” Esmeriska lifts her chin to Margarith who is a quarter of the way with Lilly. Liam and Carmina’s cue is seconds away.

  It is Carmina’s thoughts pushing Liam into the undertaking again. He hears her singing the terrible song about Dublin and he knows she is counting on him. Him. He feels her trembling hand clutching his arm and he pushes the carnal instincts away with force and determination.

  “I’ve got this. I promised. Thank you, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “We’re so proud of you, we’re here for you …”

  He taps Carmina on the fingers with his free hand and whispers, “I won’t let you fall, I promise.”

  Forcing himself to relax, he matches her steps and keeps his promise. For the second time in one day, the guests all inhale loudly. The pair walking behind Lilly looks like a natural selection. Her red hair next to his black, her white corset next to his white shirt. Lilly watches her creation walk towards her and a jubilant smile showers the whole scene. The queen and her knight are joined by the Lady and her prince! The picture is complete.

  ***

  I attempt not to stare at Lilly, but she looks spectacular! I try to make her proud by being graceful and slow in my movements and, thankfully, Liam took a walk with me this morning. There was not a dry eye in the house when the Queen puts her hand on her knight’s shoulder and stops him from getting up. Instead, she sits down next to him, her dress creating the last, personal touch to the already perfect scene. The minister follows their lead and, instead of the traditional wedding vows, he led a ceremony worthy of a Disney movie! The service was mercifully short, even while being improvised.

  “I pronounce you man and wife. Queen and Knight, protectors of your kingdoms however big or small they may be.”

  Momma and John step past to help the newlyweds up under thundering cheers of the family. Jarrod’s hand cups Lilly’s face, and the sweet embrace that follows, sealing the vows, is filled with promises of love and loving.

  I was a little surprised at how quickly Liam vanished after the ceremony. He could have at least waited a little before running off with the feeble excuse of having to check on something. What is more important than my sister’s wedding day? It’s not as if it was a surprise to anyone. I feel somewhat vexed but have little time to let it take hold; John is by my side before I could create a full soapbox moment in my head.

  “Carmina…” I am glad to see him.

  “If you say one word about my dress boy, I’m going to lay you out on the floor.” I joke, but stop when I see the look on his face. It is somber and brooding.

  “Carmina… you look… You floored Liam today. You floored all of us.” I narrow my eyes, waiting for the teasing, which isn’t coming.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing to my brother. Cut him some slack today. He is doing his best.” John says and then promptly turns to walk away.

  I am left speechless, wondering what it is I have done to get the serious side of John. The tone in his voice was strangely reserved and official. I feel guilty for the angry thoughts moments ago. I guess I am being unfair and the Moretti family is here out of the kindness of their own will, not because… because I … need Liam.

  The surprise of admission to myself makes me flush deep red. I drop my head and stare at my hands, watching them tremble under the bulk of my own concession. I rub my wrist, feeling the dull ache and missing the firm clasp to make it go away. It is only when Liam takes hold of my arm that the ache seems to dissipate, like my dreams when I’m in his arms.

  He kept his promise and I didn’t fall today. I should be grateful for him doing this and helping me. John is right: I don’t know what I’m doing to Liam. I don’t even know what he meant by it but I know he is right. Perhaps I am asking too much, being too needy. I’m broken and defected and Liam is not my personal aid. I swallow the tears down like a lump of un-chewed food. I have hurt Liam so much and John had to tell me. I push my hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ear and out of my face.

  When I look up, it is the familiar big mount on the other side of the room filling my view. Those gold-plated spheres are staring at me with a serious connotation behind them. I look behind me, wondering if Liam is staring right through me at someone else. Mother and Lady E marching in time like a well-drilled unit divert my disposition.

  “Carmina! Lilly is looking everywhere for you! Come on, we’re taking pictures outside…. You will not believe what your sister is doing!” Momma exclaims excited. Lady E is grinning from ear to ear too.

  “Precious! Every moment is just treasurable! I’ll go grab my lump too Margarith…LIAM!” she yells and I know there is no escaping.

  When we make it outside, my humor lifts immediately. Lilly and Jarrod are running around with the kids, throwing snowballs! Lilly’s dress is sludge-dirty at the seams and somehow… the mess just seems to enhance the whole dress! The glass chimes are put to their fullest charms, like a magic wand granting wishes. One after the other, the clan joins in and soon there is a mass of snow flying all over the place! Out of nowhere, a shower of red rose petals pours down with the snow and when we look up, the Bearded Vultures are turning over and over above us, their screeches drifting down with the petals, followed by the spine-tingling cat-growls and wolf howling. This lasts a few meager seconds. Lilly clearly did not anticipate it and she squeals in typical Lilly fashion - in delight.

  “The Ancient token of approval! How blessed are we!” she yells at Jarrod. He grabs his new bride and swirls her round and round. Lilly puts her head back, letting the shower of snow and petals brush over her face giggling like a schoolgirl, the crystals chiming and sparkling along; truly a magical moment. I feel strong emotions well up in me. The scene
is perfect and beautiful… and awe-inspiring!

  The spell is broken as I am hit on the back by what feels like a boulder. I turn to see Liam tossing a big ball of snow up and down on his palm. My first thought was to run, but I’m still wearing these horrible shoes! I am not new to this game at all. It is a fight he wants? Fine. Game…on!

  Bundling my dress as if to make a dash for it, I tuck and roll instead. Getting back to my feet, the snowball has been made and is flying at Liam. I hit him full in the chest. A roar of laughter flairs up under the Moretti family and it is Momma who shouts a warning to Liam: “Oh yes, did we forget to mention our secret weapon? “

  “Clearly just luck!” John calls back, hurling another snowball in my direction. My eyes follow it until it looks like it is going to connect. At the very last second I step out of the way, my hands up to catch the readymade snowball Jarrod is throwing my way. We’ve teamed up time and time again and this is a well-rehearsed maneuver. Another tuck and roll, and John finds his upper leg covered in snow.

  In this moment I realize the additional reason Lilly insisted on a “first snow” wedding day. She knows I would not make it with the rest of the clan in any manner of sports - except snow games. For some reason, my body and brain coordinate exceptionally well under snowball attacks! There is yet a person in this clan who can move or throw as fast and accurately as I can or beat the team of Lilly, Jarrod and myself.