Beyond the Shadows: Second Edition (The Shadow Series Book 1)

by Anna Hub

  I hadn’t been given enough time to prepare. There were so many people I hadn’t said goodbye to. Again, I tried to scream but nothing happened. The lack of power was exhausting. I told myself to stay calm because fighting it wasn’t going to help. Sooner or later it was going to end and I shouldn’t be so eager for my life in this world to be over. There were people here who needed me to be alive and somewhere along the line I had given up on getting my life back. Suddenly I felt as though I had let them down. After spending so long stuck in the shadow world, I had already begun to feel distant from this world. It was a fading part of my life long before it was over. It wasn’t fair to have accepted it. It was selfish to let go so soon.

  I was filled with deep regret. This was it, the final night of my life and there was no one by my side. I was never going to see my family again and their lives would never be the same. It broke my heart to think of the moment they found out I was dead. They wouldn’t know how to deal with it and there was no way to get the message to them. It was the middle of the night, visiting hours were long over, I was too disconnected to even speak out. They would never know how much I loved them.

  The emotion was so overwhelming that I didn’t even notice I had reached my body.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I sobbed and moaned between breaths. Alisha had whipped the curtain back and was staring at me, her own face filled with fear. My throat was too shaky to even get the words out.

  “I’ll call for help,” she said quickly.

  I didn’t have the strength to tell her not to. My body felt numb and that only reminded me how little time I had left. The panic quickly escalated, everything I'd felt while I was trapped was suddenly free to be released. It was too much for me to even attempt controlling it. There was no telling how long I would be here, there was so much I needed to say and yet this young woman was the last person I would see. She barely even knew me. She pushed the button for help, struggled out of bed and moved over to me.

  “Are you in pain?” her eyes were bewildered.

  My behaviour was no longer rational. Alisha tried to sooth me but I pushed her hands away as the tears spilled across my cheeks.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she confessed, “tell me what you need.”

  “I’m dying.”

  She shook her head.

  “You have to help them.”

  “Who?” she asked.

  “They don’t know where I am. You have to tell them.”

  “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

  “Please.”

  A nurse came in and pulled me away from Alisha. “What’s happened to her?”

  Alisha stumbled back as the nurse tried to help me into bed. “I don’t know. I woke up to her crying then she just started saying weird things.”

  The nurse took my face in her hands. “Can you hear me, Selena?”

  “I’m dying.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re in hospital. You’ve been here for a few weeks.”

  “This is my final pass. I won’t come back again.”

  “Selena, listen to me. Are you in pain?”

  “You have to tell them.”

  She pushed a button on the wall and others rushed in to help. They tried to calm me but they didn’t understand. There was nothing they could do to help; I just needed them to tell my family where I was going. But no one would listen.

  Their voices faded. I couldn’t understand what they were saying anymore. I tried to talk over them, to explain what was happening but they pinned me to the bed. As I tried to fight them off, they worked harder. My limbs became numb and my body turned cold. I saw them draw medication into a vial. They injected something into my drip line and within seconds, my eyelids dropped.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Whatever they'd injected took away the last few seconds of my life. I’d been unconscious and missed the pass altogether but once the connection between this body and that one was gone, I was free to come round. I opened my mouth to suck in a breath and coughed as water filled my mouth. My body was strewn against the rocks at the waterfall, the rush of the water tugging at my feet. I felt weak already but tried to pull myself onto dry land, suddenly aware of the river pulling at my new shadow.

  It felt strange; it was heavy and sticky in my fingers as I drew it closer and wrung it out. The black mass sat bundled in my arms. That was it. The door was closed—I would never be able to go back through.

  The image of my body lying empty in the hospital was enough to make me gag. They were probably trying to resuscitate me right now, their hands pressing down on my chest as they held a mask over my face. Alisha would be watching. Terrified from the corner of the room. They would fail, they would pronounce me dead and my family would be called to see my body.

  I broke into a crying mess. They said death was hardest for those left behind and instead of all the other emotions, I felt an incredibly heavy sense of guilt. I’d promised I wouldn’t leave until my father was ready. Now that promise was broken.

  For a long time, I couldn’t really think what to do with myself. I was completely consumed by the images of my body and how broken my family would be when they learnt the news. Then I paused to take a breath and realised I was sitting in plain view by the waterfall. There was no evidence of cats or any other creatures nearby but it would be dangerous to stay there. The time would come when I could surrender to the heartbreak, but this wasn’t it.

  I climbed down the steps and walked behind the waterfall, struggling to get used to the new shadow. With it stretched around my body, the skin felt tight, almost as though glue was holding it in place.

  Once I reached the trees, it fell away and it was like it had never existed. There was no evidence left behind and it was easier to focus on my task without it. I paused in my place suddenly struggling to remember exactly what my task was. All I could think about was the terrifying feeling of being trapped, and then the disturbing realisation that my body was dead. I wiped hands along my thighs and forced the thoughts away again. Brayden would be looking for me. It wouldn’t have taken him long to figure out I was missing. He would know where I had been and he would know where to find me.

  Although unprepared for this event, I understood the land and where I needed to be. Brayden was on the other side of the forest but he would already be on his way back. As long as I followed the river path we would eventually meet up.

  The longer I walked, the more my mind turned against me. It was getting harder to ignore the haunting images but it was too dangerous to stop and mourn. I stepped into the sun and paused to collect the shadow, hands shaking as I pressed it tight against myself, flinching as though touching it left a bruise. It didn’t make sense that I could feel it; my eyes were watering when I attempted to stretch it across my skin.

  “Keep moving,” I whispered, before scanning through the forest for cats and hunters lurking between the trees. Tuning in to the forest sounds, the wind swirled inside my ears but I still took note of leaves rustling against each other. It reminded me of the way Brayden now moved through the forest. I’d sometimes wondered if the grey was going to drift into my eyes too but now I somehow felt sure that whatever happened to him wasn’t the same for me.

  There were a lot of ways in which I felt different but he seemed to lose parts of his memory when his eyes were grey. He hadn’t known it was as much as two weeks after his death until I saw him again, yet as far as I could tell, there were no breaks in my awareness.

  The longer I was alone, the greater the urge to run became, not just from fear but with the desperate need to find Brayden again. To finally be able to break down and grieve for my death. To be with someone who cared. It felt like the longer I kept it locked up, the more vicious it would be when released. I took a few breaths to reinforce my resolve; walking slowly to make sure I moved quietly and took in all surroundings.

  When the sun was high, my shadow originated from my soles and every step hurt like it was the first time I'd w
alked without shoes. I paused at the dugout but there was no sign of Brayden having been there. I used my shadow to scoop fresh water into my mouth, conscious of keeping hydrated.

  The afternoon grew late and I’d already walked further than I'd expected to without finding Brayden. It didn’t make sense that he hadn’t met me. It couldn’t have been more than an hour before he realised I was missing and I’d been stuck between bodies for a while before I'd died. A stick snapped beneath my weight and a terrifying scream echoed through the valley in the same instant. A human scream.

  My heart struggled against my ribcage and I placed a useless hand over it. It sounded again; the scream of a woman in terror. I searched the lower part of the valley frantically until I saw her running. Right behind her was a hunter.

  His shadow disappeared and formed again with the dancing sunlight. He was skilled enough to lift it as he ran in an almost ape-like gait. A well-practised manoeuvre that prevented his shadow from hindering his movement. I watched on in horror, knowing I should flee but the scene reminded me too much of the first time I'd seen Brayden in this world.

  The woman was naked with no shadow at her feet and I wondered how new she was. If only I could tell her how to escape. Perhaps she was ignorant of the shadow passage just as I had been. She squealed again and all my muscles tensed. I wanted to help her but my legs wouldn’t move. The hunter gained speed and within seconds, they would be out of my sight. I opened my mouth but only a feeble noise escaped. They didn't hear me and in a flash, they were gone.

  I took a step, unsure if I should run after them. But what could I do? I wasn't strong enough to beat a hunter on my own and I didn't have another body in the old world to protect me anymore.

  It was like I had just witnessed a murder and done nothing to stop it. Tears suddenly rolled down my cheeks and the trembling muscles that had been with me all day became too much to resist. I dropped to my knees and sobbed. Partly for the horror I’d just seen and partly because this was the only world I had now. Nowhere was safe and for the rest of my life, I would live in fear of hunters and cats with whips on their tails.

  I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. It was too dangerous to give in to emotion like that. It was getting dark and I had to make a choice. Either continue searching for Brayden or give up for the night and seek shelter.

  One last attempt, I decided.

  Berries hung in a shrub nearby. Collecting as many as I could carry, I headed for the second river where I'd fallen through my shadow and picked up pace.

  The ashy remains of our fire were still there but the ground was cold. I turned back and wandered a little further from the river path, nervous as dusk set in. There was a small possibility we'd already passed each other but if I stayed close to the water, the chances of Brayden finding me were higher. Dropping to my knees, I dug around for earth that was soft enough to create a dugout.

  The shelter was small and shallow but as close to surrounding plants as I could make it. There were no branches nearby, so I moved to a tree where they were hanging low and tried to rip them free. Nothing happened. Lifting my legs, I let my weight hang from my arms. Still, the branch remained steady. I tried one last time but when it failed, I knew it wasn’t worth wasting my energy. I settled for tearing bundles of leaves away and dropping them into the dugout, then searched under rocks and logs for insects. Rather than collecting and eating them at the end, I forced them into my mouth as I worked, refusing to acknowledge my disgust.

  To a stranger I would have looked wild; my red hair tangled, arms scratched and dirty as I foraged for bugs. Perhaps a person new to this world would mistake me for a hunter. I imagined what I would say if someone tried to approach me. Would the girl in the valley have run from me?

  I rinsed my mouth with water before gulping down mouthfuls, finding my body already craved what it was no longer getting through the IV drip.

  After pushing the leaves aside, I lay in the dugout and covered myself. The surrounding leaves rustled in the wind before everything fell silent.

  The sense of loneliness quickly became agonising. In my own world, I’d had moments of feeling alone but nothing could compare to this. Everything I’d been trying to suppress was creeping to the surface and I was afraid it would never stop if I let the grief take over. I clamped my mouth shut and focused all attention on the sounds of the forest rather than the despair.

  --*--

  I woke to the sound of a twig snapping. It was distant and somehow delicate as though whatever caused it to break had been trying not to. My eyes flashed open as I checked the ground around the dugout. If I'd been sitting up, it would have been easier to look around but I dared not move. Leaves shuffled and the gentle pad of a footstep landed behind me.

  Blood washed through my ears, each pulse distracting me from what I was trying to listen to and somewhere between my racing heartbeats, I heard a breath sucked through a nose. The breeze had blown over me, dragging the scent of my body toward those waiting nostrils.

  Something was watching me, smelling me, waiting for me to turn. But I didn’t. When a second twig broke, it was further away, then padded feet slammed into the ground. I threw myself from the hole but only managed to catch the swinging of a plant as something rushed past.

  My chest heaved. Only inches from where my head had rested, there was the imprint of a paw on the ground. Big enough to be one of the cats and yet it hadn't harmed me. That was the second cat I'd been close to in the last couple of days. Why hadn't they attacked?

  Stepping back into the sunlight, I pulled my shadow out and stretched it over my legs and up to my shoulders, keeping eyes trained on the forest as I worked.

  I ate whatever I could find before following the river and remembering, the woman I'd seen fleeing for her life yesterday. For all I knew, she was dead now. Shaking the thought away, I focused on the fish swimming in the river. It would have been nice to have more than bugs and berries in my stomach but my previous attempts at a fire had failed and there was no point catching a fish if I had no way to cook it. I'd learn that skill as soon as possible but right now, finding Brayden was my priority.

  As the day dragged on, my energy diminished. It had been a long time since I'd eaten real food but I closed my eyes momentarily then forced myself to keep going.

  The feeling of being followed built up gradually. At first, I considered it paranoia but before long, the rustle of plants sounded behind and the plants swayed as though something had stepped out of sight.

  A shiver ran through me and I moved faster, gasping as the mushy earth collapsed beneath me and expelled me into the river. I tried to find footing but my shadowed foot slipped, causing me to land on my knees. The water splashed on my face as my body fell forward but I managed to catch myself before sinking completely. I cursed, grabbing at the river bank angrily and dragging myself to safety.

  The last rays of the sun began to fade and I still hadn’t found Brayden. The feeling of dread grew stronger—something bad must have happened. I pulled my knees to my chest; I’d been eating berries all day and now my stomach felt unsettled.

  Within the hour, the cramps became worse but I had to find shelter before darkness fell.

  I moved on all fours, at first, finding the pains intensified when I tried to stand up straight. The ground seemed hard wherever I crawled and many of the trees by the river were bare on the lower branches.

  I forced myself to stand. I'd waited too long and now I had nothing to shelter myself and didn’t have the energy to travel further. I lay on my side and curled into a ball. The wind raced over me, blowing knotted hair into my face.

  For hours I lingered on the edge of sleep, my body shutting down while my mind struggled to stay active. It was dangerous to sleep out in the open but I had to shout inside my own head to find the energy to move. Even then, it was only to drag myself to a shrub.

  Its leaves were jagged and uncomfortable but it was thick and the only means of wind protection available. Gritting my te
eth, I ignored the scratches and climbed inside the plant.

  The sleep had been restless and plagued with nightmares. I woke feeling even worse. The sun was already high in the sky; somehow I’d slept through the break of dawn. It was long past time to keep moving. I stretched out, groaning as a berry floated past in the river. The sight of it turning my stomach into a tight knot; I never wanted to see one again.

  As I walked, the shadow grew beneath my feet and I paused to figure out the best tactic to keep it from tripping me.

  Another berry floated down the river, colliding with a rock before jumping a short distance into the air. Two berries had passed me now. But I'd never seen a berry bush beside the river before. A third floated past. It had to be Brayden.

  I ran alongside the river, stumbling each time the shade interrupted my shadow but I didn't let it slow me down. Every few minutes, another little blue beacon raced past with the water and I grew more excited.

  “Sel?” Brayden ran when he saw me and pulled me into a fierce hug. "Are you okay?"

  I breathed in his scent, so relieved to find him unharmed. "I'm okay. You?"

  He pulled away. "When I realised you were gone, I made my way straight back. I knew I’d find you somewhere along the river path.”

  “Did something happen on the way?”

  "No, it's been disturbingly quiet this side of the forest."

  Was he joking? "It's been two days, Brayden."

  He frowned. “No, it hasn’t.”

  It was happening again; he couldn’t remember how much time had passed. “Yes. Two days. I was afraid something had happened to you.”

  “I came for you straight away.”

  There was no point arguing. “It doesn’t matter now.”

  He sat beside me and noticed the new shadow. “How did it happen?”