Beyond the Shadows: Second Edition (The Shadow Series Book 1)

by Anna Hub

  Tears formed in my eyes. “I made it back but my family wasn’t there. I tried to tell the nurses I was dying but they wouldn’t listen. I wanted them to pass on my message. I wanted my family to know I loved them.”

  “They know that.”

  “But now I’m dead and they have no idea why. They’ll never know—”

  He wrapped his arms around me.

  “I couldn’t breathe, they held me down and talked over me. They used drugs to sedate me and then ... then it was over.” I swallowed. “All that time we’d been travelling, I wasn’t even thinking about my family. It was selfish. I gave up so easily.”

  “You did what you had to do to survive in this world. You can’t help them anymore; that’s up to them.”

  “I promised them I’d fight.”

  “Then fight—fight to survive this world. You’re the one who taught me that.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  I sat up with a start but gradually relaxed as I remembered my surroundings. I'd fallen asleep beside the river while Brayden fished. Now he kneeled nearby working on a fire. Didn't he ever get tired these days?

  "I need to learn how to do that," I croaked.

  He didn't respond, eyes grey until the fire burst to life. He heated rocks and wrapped the fish in leaves to cook. I shuffled closer as dusk approached and the wind blew cold through the valley.

  “I saw the berries,” I said.

  He looked up. “I thought they'd help. If you were low on energy, they would help keep you going but they'd also let you know I was close.” He relaxed by the firelight. “I was worried about you out there alone.”

  There was something in his eyes that seemed to see right inside me. Just like I'd noticed in the restaurant that first night, as though we'd mirrored each other's suffering. Only now it was different. No longer an inexplicable sadness but rather a sense of familiarity.

  “What happened to you?” I asked.

  “I was waiting for you to come back. When you didn’t, I figured you'd passed. I walked back along the river and found you here.”

  “No. It’s been longer than that but you don’t remember it.”

  He frowned again.

  “It’s not the first time this has happened. You didn’t know I was missing when I was in a coma either.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. "It's weird, I guess when you mention it, I can't quite grasp onto the memory. But what I do remember, fits perfectly with the timeline in my mind." He shrugged. "Maybe our timelines are somehow different when we're apart. I don't know what else it could be. It doesn't make sense."

  In my mind, it had nothing to with our timelines and everything to do with the grey in his eyes. I considered telling him. After all, there were no mirrors in this world, how else would he know? But I threw the idea aside, too exhausted to begin an intense conversation. Some other day would be better.

  “Are you ready?” He pushed away the dirt and threw the wrapped fish from one hand to another.

  "It's really hot." I grinned, using a sharp rock to cut the tail and pull the skin back to expose fillet. I bit into it. Warm juices filled my mouth and restored energy to my body. The better I felt, the faster I ate and it wasn’t long before I’d nearly finished the whole lot. Although I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to have the last of it. Brayden had been here longer than me; he probably needed the food more than I did.

  “Here.” I pushed it toward him.

  “It’s okay; you can have it.”

  “No, I’m not hungry anymore.”

  He eyed me suspiciously before I nodded and agreed to finish it. “We should move before we settle in to sleep; the cats might smell the fish.”

  “I slept in a small dugout the first night I was alone. I woke up as something hovered behind me. I was too afraid to move but I heard it sniffing me. When I turned, it was gone but there was a paw print left in the earth.”

  “Where was this?” He searched the forest surrounding us.

  “More than a day’s walk away. It had to have been a cat.”

  “It didn’t try to hurt you?”

  I shook my head. “Maybe it wasn’t hungry.”

  "I’ve seen them kill and walk away without taking a bite numerous times.”

  I cringed, wondering how much he must have experienced here and not told me about. No doubt he would have seen hunters chasing other victims too.

  “Something else?” he asked.

  “I saw a hunter,” I tried to keep my voice even. “He was chasing a woman.”

  He studied me as though he sensed how deeply it had affected me.

  “All I did ... was stand there and watch.” I forced myself to let go of the air building in my lungs. “She’s probably dead and I didn't do anything to help her.”

  “But what could you have done? If you'd tried to help, the hunter could have killed you instead."

  It was exactly what I expected him to say but it didn’t make it any easier. “If you hadn’t been there that day to push me into my shadow, that could have been me so easily.”

  “There’s nothing you could have done,” he repeated.

  Suddenly I didn’t want to continue the conversation. It was less painful—for now—to bury the images. Maybe one day I'd have the strength to face them again but not this day.

  “Come on, let’s find a new place to sleep,” he said.

  We moved a little further down the river path before we set to work on another fire. This time, I watched him closely, using my own wood in an attempt to match his movement. It was harder than it looked but he'd mastered his technique and had flames growing stronger before I'd even shaved enough tinder free. Although unsuccessful, I'd carry my own wood from now on and keep working at it.

  My shadow formed beneath my feet, the warmth of the fire tingling across the black skin. It was soothing as I pulled it up like a blanket, getting used to how it felt to be stretched. The food in my stomach and the warmth of the flames quickly lulled me into a peaceful sleep.

  Brayden stood above me; his face looked different although his eyes barely had a hint of grey in them. I sat up slowly, blinking sleep away. “Is something wrong?”

  He stared back in silence and I edged away before the skin around his eyes loosened and his expression returned to normal. How long had he been watching me like that while I was asleep?

  “I think we need to leave,” he said.

  The forest seemed quiet and calm. “Why?”

  He shook his head as though there was an idea he couldn’t quite grasp. “There are more hunters here now. Something's happened. Something's drawing them in here.”

  “How do you know that? Have you seen them?” Again, I wondered where he'd been for the two days we were apart.

  He didn’t seem to hear me. “It’s like layers of them move around the forest. They've been at the outskirts but they're moving closer now.”

  I shivered. “But we haven’t seen one for a while now. They can’t be that close.”

  Brayden shook his head. “If we move now, we should miss them all together.”

  I stood up. “Okay.”

  “I can’t tell you how but I know which way they’re travelling.”

  He didn't seem like himself. There was no sign of the grey in his eyes but his voice sounded too even—expressionless.

  Brayden relaxed once we moved on, gradually returning to his old self. Perhaps the idea to keep travelling was merely preventative and we weren't in any immediate danger.

  We decided to travel only for short periods of time until we managed to find some food of real substance. The berries were full of energy but it wasn't enough to support us if we were to travel for long days without much rest.

  The weight loss in Brayden was noticeable, his ribs could now be seen and although his face was covered with almost a full beard, the bones beneath his eyes showed how much thinner he was. In myself, the loss wasn't so noticeable yet. It had been only a couple of days since I lost contact with my other body. But my s
tomach was flat and the bones of my hips could easily be felt beneath my skin. If we couldn’t find some regular source of sustenance, we were going to deteriorate quickly.

  It became frustrating having to stop and collect my shadow. Sometimes I only managed a few steps before losing it and struggling to keep my balance as it reappeared. Brayden was already accustomed to the manoeuvre of scooping it up with the flick of one leg so he didn’t have to reach all the way down. I watched him and tried to do the same but he made it look easier than it was.

  The whole process started to infuriate me; my temper was at a short fuse partly because I was so low on energy but mainly it was because I was still fighting against the grief. I paused to take a few deep breaths. There was no point complaining about it. Instead, I straightened my shoulders and carried on.

  We reached a point where the river was split in two and we stopped to examine the two paths. One appeared to lead further down the valley while the other travelled from the top of the peak.

  “Have you noticed we haven’t seen any hunters on this side of the valley?” Brayden asked.

  I wiped sweat away. “You’re right, not a single one.”

  “I think we’re finally on the right track.”

  If we'd managed to sidestep a group of them, I was happy.

  Climbing to the peak of the valley tired us both out. The river was muddy and the plants were overgrown. The forest continued further than the slope but the end of it was in sight. Beyond that were the mountains I'd seen from the high perch of the rocks at the waterfall.

  Brayden stared toward the mountains, his eyes filled with wonder.

  I stepped closer. "What do you see?"

  He held my shoulders and guided me into place before him. One hand moved to my waist and I couldn't help looking down to where it rested. But he acted as though it was the most natural thing in the world, using his other hand to point into the distance. I tried to filter out the distraction of his skin against mine and looked back to the horizon.

  Two figures ran toward the mountains. I gasped. "Hunters?"

  “No. The hunters work alone.”

  I stared in wonder as the figures disappeared into the dark landmass. “Do you think they're regular people? Like us?"

  Brayden nodded as I turned, his hand still resting at my hip.

  I could hardly believe it. "Really?”

  “They’re definitely not hunters.”

  There might be someone out there who could help us with food and protection. “Shall we go down there?”

  “It's probably further away than it looks. I don't think we'll make it there before dark, but we should at least get started."

  Being able to feel hope once again was a huge relief and although Brayden didn't say so, I could see the happiness in his eyes too. We no longer seemed doomed to certain death. Somehow, we might actually find a way to live a reasonable life in this world. I smiled and threw my arms around his neck, resisting the urge to jump up and down.

  He held me tight and lifted me off the ground, both of us laughing as he set me back down. I gathered hair from my face as the wind blew past, very aware of Brayden's arm still scooped at my back.

  His smile straightened and the breath caught in my throat as I recognised the look on his face. It had been a long time since a guy had looked at me that way and although I had wondered how his lips might feel against mine, I couldn't help worrying about the risks of us going down that path. Too much was uncertain. Our place in this world. The grey in his eyes. How real could these feelings be real when we were trapped together?

  He seemed to notice my distraction and whispered my name. Testing my reaction perhaps.

  I straightened, still unsure if I should pull back or surrender. "I don't know if this is a good idea." I looked away; aware that his own gaze still lingered.

  His chest expanded against me as he breathed deeply. "Yeah."

  I swallowed and stepped to the side, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

  "Selena?" He shook his head as I lifted my head, a light smile on his lips. "I know where you're coming from, and you're probably right."

  "I am?"

  He shrugged. "Sure. We're living in extreme circumstances and maybe this ... thing between us, is—"

  "Transference?"

  He laughed as he wiped a hand across the back of his neck. "I was going to say, too soon."

  "Oh." I shook my head, cringing at my awkwardness.

  He laughed again. "Definitely too soon then. But, if you ask me, inevitable."

  My smile disappeared. Surely he hadn't meant that in a bad way but somehow it made the whole thing seem impersonal. As though we had to end up together because there was no other choice. "We'll see."

  His gaze lingered on mine for a little longer than it should have. "Let's go."

  The landscape sloped down again as we headed for the mountains. The trees were further apart and it was easier to move, but with space came a strange sense of vulnerability. And the sun shone directly upon us. At first, I enjoyed the warmth but eventually it became too much and sweat formed on my forehead.

  My eyes were cast to the ground to avoid the glare, attention drawn to something shiny. Before I had the chance to say anything, Brayden veered to the left of his path and stood over the reflective object.

  “What is it?” I looked over his shoulder.

  “A blade.”

  It was misshaped but sharp looking. There was no doubt it had been moulded for a specific purpose.

  He bent to pick it up. “Do you think I could shave with this?” He rubbed a hand over his facial hair.

  I couldn’t help laughing. "Worth a try, I guess."

  I took the time to rest while he attempted to shave. The knife would make fish filleting easier and we could maybe even attach it to a long stick and create a spear. Having it opened a new range of possibilities.

  I sunk further into the leafy forest floor while he worked. When we were walking it was easy to concentrate on the physical challenges, but when resting, images from my old world flashed to mind; things I would never see again. Tears sprung to my eyes but succumbing to it would only leave me broken.

  I focused on Brayden gathering the brush of a plant. “What are you doing?”

  “These create a small lather. I’m hoping it will protect my skin a little when I shave.”

  Trying to shave away that much hair without foam, wouldn't be easy. “Maybe you should try cutting some off first.”

  He shrugged and sat by the water with his back turned to me. I looked up through the tree tops at the white clouds passing by, letting my hands run through the leaves.

  At least we had something to aim for now. There were other people in this world, which meant there was hope for the future. And perhaps if we found other people, I'd know if his feelings for me were genuine or just a progression of our situation.

  “It isn’t the best shave I’ve had, but I feel refreshed.”

  A trickle of blood ran down his neck. I hid a smile and clapped.

  “What?” He held his hands out.

  “Nothing. It looks good.”

  He ran his palms over his neck, pulling them away to find them stained with blood. He cursed, rolling his eyes as I chuckled.

  I lay in my spot until he'd washed himself in the river once more and returned.

  He stood over me. “Ready?”

  Without the beard he looked young again, his lips now undisguised. I groaned inwardly at the way they drew my attention, accepting his hand as he pulled me to my feet.

  We stood before each other once more, my pulse fluttering at the way his hand gripped mine, as though it might persuade me. I pulled away, shaking my head as he grinned.

  We walked until the sun began to set. My shoulders relaxed as we approached the edge of the forest. By this time the next day, we'd be away from this place once and for all. For the first time in weeks, I felt a sense of freedom.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Brayden set about securi
ng a temporary camp site while I collected food. We worked on the fire together and nestled into our customary spots on either side.

  I played with my shadow, pulling it around my hand like an elastic band, testing how far I could stretch it without wincing.

  "What do you think we'll find? A couple of lone survivors or perhaps a group?" I asked.

  "Not sure."

  "I hope it's a group. I wonder how long they've been here." I stretched out, leaving my shadow to rest. "Maybe they have some kind of home built up. Imagine sleeping in the same place every night."

  Brayden absentmindedly drew shapes in the sand. "Maybe."

  I took advantage of his distraction, my gaze tracing the shape of his jaw and the small smile lines on the side of his mouth. I couldn't help feeling that back in our old world we wouldn't have even been friends. What did we really have in common aside from the shadows? He said he admired my optimism and we'd been able to laugh together at a few instances. Could there really be something more between us? I closed my eyes. Why was I so caught up in how he felt about me when I wasn't even sure how I felt about him?

  "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a bit of a jerk," I said.

  "What?"

  I shrugged. "I'm sorry. It's true."

  "Why?" he laughed but also seemed uncertain of himself for once.

  "You just seemed so arrogant."

  "Wow. The truth hurts, huh? You were a bit of a pain in the arse too, you know? Twenty questions, all the time."

  “Shut up.”

  He laughed. “But arrogant?”

  "Maybe it was a wall you put up because of the whole shadow thing. I just expected you to be happier when you found me. Happy that you had someone to fight with."

  His eyes found mine. "I was beyond that by the time you came along but you slowly brought me back."

  "Did I? Once you lost connection to the other world, maybe you would have found yourself without my help."

  He stared at me for a long, intense moment. "Is that why you won't let me kiss you? You think I’m only interested because we’re here together?"