by Johanna Maas
The evening meal was now upon them and the Bruce's great hall was filled to capacity. The head table was crowded as were the tables stretched out upon the floor. Seated above the rest was the Lady Bridget and her extended family, then Kaye, her father, Roger and Matthew and then at the end of the table was Tor.
Kaye now sat at the table with her face slightly lowered while she battled with the fact that everyone within the great hall must now know of her deepest and most private secrets. She could feel most self consciously the bold stares that were seemingly made in her direction. These were a constant reminder of all that had transpired in the courtyard for it was obvious there were no secrets in the Highlands. As Kaye gazed around the room beneath her lowered lashes she realized that this place was just so different than her polite English home where such things would never had been discussed nor acknowledged so openly.
Kaye had to concede that it was much more difficult than she ever could have imagined seated here in the great chamber in front of the others. The courageous resolve that she had felt earlier when it was just Bridget within her room was quickly fading away. What had played out this afternoon, while such a private matter, had to have been such a public display and that truly hurt her reserved English nature.
Kaye also realized that had the details not been revealed exactly as they had, she most likely would have been on her way back to England at this very moment. She would have been forced to retreat back to the Hann home and travel with her husband and his son. And that thought terrified her more than anything upon this earth including her shame displayed before all of her sister's clan.
Tor sat at the end of the table entirely aware of the dark haired blue-eyed beauty who sat just a few chairs down from him. He felt a full excitement within his chest for just the knowing of it. Although he could not look upon her without being obvious, just having that knowledge that she was near sent his heart racing.
Tor returned his thoughts once again to what had happened in the courtyard on that very afternoon. In his wildest dreams he had never imagined that things would turn out as such. And when Kaye had made her startling revelations he was quite shocked to hear that she remained untouched. For how could her husband not take her? Just the thought of having her in his bed excited him and knew that if it had been his right…
Tor shook his head as he attempted to remove those heated thoughts from his mind as he considered the events of the afternoon as they were all standing waiting for the battle to erupt. In his mind it had been the obvious outcome but it was she and the most unlikely one who ended up taking the most brave stance. The small petite one who did not have to admit before anyone what must have been her greatest secret and based on her reaction was her greatest shame. For he was sure that is what she had been feeling for the pain that was written so clearly upon her lovely face.
Tor was entirely relieved and a smile came to his face and a gladness resonated within his chest despite her pain, for she was now truly safe and soon to be entirely free. He was so very comforted for this meant that she soon would be released from the man and his family whom had abused her so dreadfully and caused her so much pain. He knew that he could not be more grateful for that small feat.
Tor felt a sure tenderness again for the one that sat so near and the one that he knew had captured his heart. He could only hope that when all of this had passed that she would someday give him a chance to show her how she should be treated as a woman. He knew that she deserved nothing but his respect and love and the chance to be cherished and protected. It was his one true hope that Kaye would forgive him his transgressions and grant him the opportunity to do so.
The evening wore on and the meal was soon over and the hall began to empty. Bridget and Alec along with Cameron and his wife had long since retired to their chambers to see to their own children off to their beds. This left only the Devon family and Tor still at the table.
Tor stood to take his leave as he heard Kaye announce, "I think I will retire, father. For it has been a very long and trying day."
Tor stopped and turned towards the group and gazed at Kaye deeply, wanting fervently to offer his services to escort her to her rooms above but afraid to appear too forward to the family. For long moments he stood as such as he willed himself to speak while the apprehension built within him and ultimately caused him to hold his tongue. But it did not matter for in that extended moment of his indecision it was Kaye's cousin Matthew who stood and offered her his arm and secured her delivery to her chambers above. Tor watched her in sadness realizing that the moment was gone and his chance now was thoroughly missed.
Tor watched longingly as Kaye stood and gently took her cousin's proffered arm. As she grasped it her eyes came up to lock with Tor's momentarily as he noticed once again their deep blue depths that were ever captivating. A warmth began to build in his chest for the beauty that was standing before him. So lovely, so tantalizing and one with such an exquisite heart. He looked at her longingly and could say nothing as their eyes continued to hold. As she was led away, she turned from him and walked gracefully away upon Matthew's arm. They moved elegantly across the hall and up the stairs to her room above as they disappeared together into the night.
Tor watched her intently until she could be seen no more as she disappeared down the hallway of the chambers beyond. The only reminder of her was the heavy beating of his heart and the rush of the pulse within his body. He realized in that very moment and conceded that she stirred and captivated him so and that his heart belonged to no one, but the dark haired English woman named Kaye.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The midnight darkness had fully enveloped the lands around the Bruce keep as the heavy clouds in the sky obstructed any light the moon would have normally emit. All those in and around the great Scottish lord's Highland keep with the exception of those sentries on night duty were fast asleep in their beds. A lone Bruce rider upon his great steed made his way hastily through the large oaks and moved only as quickly as he dared. He knew his mission was of the utmost importance and the fate of his clan lay heavily upon his successful journey. The pounding of his beast's hooves was all that could be heard as he raced through the woods, the sound synchronized with the intense beating of his own heart.
The Bruce clansman cleared the final stretch of woods and could see the slight outline of the looming stone walls ahead and knew that he was near as he understood he was ever so close to a successful end. He leaned further over his mount's neck feeling the beast's wet and slick coat, the sure evidence of his long and intense ride. He encouraged his beast onward as he moved faster and faster over the uneven ground ever pushing towards the end. As he neared the lowered drawbridge he shouted for all his brothers within to hear, "The Grants! The Grants! They have foraged our eastern borders and they are marching upon us!"
The clansman continued onward not stopping for even a slight moment. Now that he was within the walls, he made his way up quickly to the castle that held his lord. He pulled hard on his horse's lead as he neared the steps as rocks and dirt sprayed while his great beast slid to a halt. The clansman hurriedly dismounted at the base of the steps and proceeded to take them two at a time for the nature of his communication was quite grave. Within moments he was crossing the threshold into the darkened main hall where several of his fellow clansmen slept. He shouted the warning again to startle them awake from their sound slumber.
"The Grants! The Grants! They have foraged our eastern borders and are marching near!"
He once again did not pause in the hall below as he quickly took the stairs that led to the family rooms above and did not stop until he was outside the Lord Alec's door. He fisted his hand and began pounding upon the wooden entryway as he repeated his warning until his lord appeared.
Tor had been sleeping down in the great hall with the other men when the alarm had sounded. 'The Grants! 'Twas always the Grants!' As he watched the sentry run up the stairs to bring the message to Alec, he sighed heavily for he knew that the la
st time they battled with them the standoff had lasted for several weeks. Several very long weeks.
Tor knew that his duty was to his lord and to his clan always and there was no doubt in his mind to whom he would follow. But there was much unsettled business that he had not been given the opportunity to resolve. His mind drifted to the beautiful dark haired lass that he knew was asleep in one of the chambers above. How his heart thundered in his chest at just the thought of her and a fear built within him for there was nothing that had been spoken between the two. He understood his own feelings but had not had the chance to ask about hers for it had just been too soon. There was nothing that had been said and now his duty would dictate that he would be leaving her.
He thought miserably how her situation with Lord Hann had only been slightly resolved and just yesterday. He understood that it was to most likely be weeks before it was totally over, when Father Flannigan had received the proper permissions from the church that he needed.
Tor begrudgingly noted with a very sad heart that there had been no time for any words between the two. He had hoped there would be an occasion but only after her initial shock had worn off and he conceded that it was just too soon. He knew that she needed at least a little time for her to heal before he felt he had a right to approach her. But that time had not been granted and now this new conflict was upon them.
He was far from certain and Tor could only dare to hope that she would even consider him. How he wished that he was in her heart as much as she was within his. But he also knew that in the past he had failed her miserably and she had been abused most wretchedly by the men that were near her. And could she ever forgive him for leaving her on that day? Could she provide him the opportunity to make up for her grief?
Kaye had been through so much distress in these last weeks and Tor reasoned that perhaps she never wanted a man in her life and would prefer a solitary one. He could not blame her if that is what she chose for each and every one of them that had stood with any importance before her as of late had let her down. He angrily thought of the touches and the caresses that she had experienced by both her captors and her husband and his son, for they all must have frightened her so. He realized with a certainty that those acts most likely repulsed her too, for how could someone attempt to love her if she only knew of certain brutality and fear?
He acknowledged entirely that he had let her down and his actions or his inactions must have hurt her immensely. Tor realized that he was as much to blame by not imploring her to leave her husband or worse yet, providing her the medallion that had put her in such grave danger.
A sadness began to envelope him as the movement in the room around him continued to intensify. Men began speaking softly and making ready for the imminent battle that was sure to come as they waited for their next instruction from their lord.
Tor looked up the stairs that led to the upper floors as he placed his hand within his slight pocket and touched his family's heirloom within. With a resolution and the beginnings of a plan in his mind he moved quickly upwards as he took the steps two at a time until he was in the darkened hallway above.
He turned down the corridor and in the direction of the room that held the woman to whom he now conceded that he had completely given his heart. As he drew near, his pulse began to race and he was flooded with uncertainty for he knew not what he should do. Dare he be so bold as to wake her? Could he truly ask her to wait? What right did he have for such a brazen act and would it be fair to put this upon her after such a short time and when things were not even fully resolved with her?
As he stood outside of her door contemplating his next move, he watched as Alec and Cameron exited their rooms prepared for the journey and task at hand. With a heavy heart, Tor knew quite sorrowfully that he was out of time. With a panic in his mind he quickly and quietly opened the door as his pulse pounded wildly for he knew that the slight lass lay sleeping within. He stood for only moments peering into the murky darkness as his eyes adjusted while he listened intently. His heart skipped a beat as he confirmed she was near for he heard the even and deep breathing of her heavy slumber.
He stole quietly into her darkened room leaving the door slightly ajar allowing the faint light to emanate in from the hallway. Tor gazed into the chamber as the outlines of the hearth, the bed adjacent and the small table next to her bed came into view. As he crept noiselessly towards where Kaye slept he looked down at her sleeping body, able to just make out the slumbering form in the murky darkness. For long moments he stood gazing at her as his breath caught in his throat and his pulse hammered powerfully inside his chest for the exquisiteness before him.
He placed his hand within his pocket once again as he felt the rough edges of the heirloom that lay within. With resolve he removed the slight coin and placed it upon the bedside table and hoped that she would understand as he silently implored her to know his thoughts. The last time he had given it to her, she knew that all she had to do was return it to him and he would have come. He would have been there to protect her as he was also pledging to do the equivalent this time.
But now when he left her the medallion, he was hoping that she would also understand that his intentions ran deeper. He hoped she would comprehend that he thought of her and that he was giving a piece of himself to her in hopes that she would wait and in hopes that she would consider him when her own life was finally settled. There was so much that he had wanted to say to her but realized that he had not had the opportunity, nor did he have in his mind the right to do so.
His time was now completely gone and his bidding no longer his own. He could hear the soft sounds of the men as they amassed in the courtyard below and the words from the Lord Alec as he spoke of their duty and of their next task of protecting the keep as they defended their home and their clan. Tor knew that he had already tarried too long and his duty to his people was upon him.
With a heavy heart his gaze moved from the coin that he had left on the side table to the still and sleeping form that lay upon the bed. Slowly and longingly his gazed moved over the full of her body, wishing he could hold her within his arms and lovingly caress her fair skin as he would kiss her full lips. Before he could do anything rash or would regret, he turned and moved quickly from the room. Tor closed the door quietly in his wake as he closed the door suddenly on his heart.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Kaye awoke in the morning to the sound of rain as it came down heavily from the skies and heard its rushing noise filtering in noisily to her chamber. Although the day had already and fully dawned, it was still quite murky within her room for the heavy clouds completely obstructed the sun. She shivered slightly as the coolness of the air bit sharply at her exposed skin.
With an assured weight within her breast, Kaye rose and walked to the window and peered out to the empty courtyard below as she watched intently as the heavy rain made lasting puddles upon the ground. Other then the sound of the substantial droplets hitting the earth, there was an eerie silence about the Bruce keep and a remoteness that was quite mirrored within her heart.
Kaye washed the night's sleep from her face and donned her only dress as she brushed her long and dark hair into manageable waves. She grabbed her cloak from the wardrobe for the chill of the day's air was upon her as she wrapped it securely around her neck and allowed it to flow freely around her. Feeling ready, she moved from her chamber and began her descent to the great hall below.
As she walked down the stairway from the family rooms above, she was slightly concerned for it was completely barren, save for her family. Her father, her uncle Roger, Matthew and Bridget were the only ones seated about at one of the tables located next to the hearth. As she approached and in unison they looked up at her with concern clearly etched upon each one of their faces. Kaye asked aloud, a slight dread playing upon her heart for she knew immediately that something was amiss.
"What has happened?"
It was Bridget who spoke with as much calm as she could evoke.
&nbs
p; "Our eastern borders have been attacked and the men have gone to defend us."
Kaye looked startled, fear in her eyes as she looked around at the barren hall and asked, "All of the men?"
"Nearly all of them. Alec and Tor took the men to the front and Cameron stayed with a smaller troop to defend our home. I must tell you, Kaye, it has never been easy with the Grants."
Bridget paused thinking back to previous times when at a moments notice such as this, the men were called away to defend their lands and their home.
"When did they leave?"
"In the middle of the night. One of our riders came back shouting the warnings of their penetrating our borders and that they were headed this way. Shortly thereafter, the men were all prepared and gone."
Kaye felt a sudden sadness as an abrupt void consumed her for no one had woke her to tell her of this news that was of such import. Her heart ached at the true hollowness and emptiness that was left within. To be fair, she was saddened mostly because Tor had not thought it significant enough to wake her nor bothered to say goodbye. With sure misery she realized that if he had made any effort to do so, she would have surely understood exactly what was in his heart.
Kaye fought hard to control herself as she bit at the inside of her cheek all the while willing the tears back and hoping they would not come forth at least in the presence of her family. She resolved now that she would do all that she could to spare them her further grief. She would learn to bear her pain and any of her new found miseries all on her own.
